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Author
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Topic: Venus in Scorpio- Submissive??
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meta_4
Knowflake Posts: 1141
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 27, 2008 09:48 PM
  
Correct me if i'm wrong, please, but it has been my experience that Venus in Scorpio men (maybe women?) are very submissive. They're completely in control and contained usually, but once introduced to someone they're attracted to all power is lost. They're gone. Helplessly bound. They hand themselves over to their beloved immediately- even if the feelings are not mutual or the relationship is not exclusive.Now, perhaps this is not an accurate observation, as i am strictly basing this off of my interactions (which are influenced by my chart)...? Thoughts? I'm just curious if this true for all Scorpio-Venus individuals or if this is a result from my OWN chart...? IP: Logged |
MyVirgoMask
Knowflake Posts: 3671
From: Bay Area, CA
Registered: May 2009
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posted December 27, 2008 09:54 PM
I'm not submissive, I'm contained 
Surrendered is more like it though.
However, I can tell you that I NEVER surrender or submit itself to someone if the feelings are not returned. Internally, I will be seething and obsessed with someone, but they have to surrender to me first on some level, and give me commitment. Then and only then will I give utterly and completely of myself.
If the feelings aren't returned and if the person won't surrender to me, I kill off my feelings at the sacrificial altar, and completely cut off the emotion. So I'd say it's the other way around: Venus in Scorpio for me demands surrender and even a level of emotional submission from the other - only then does it feel transcendence. I need a level of control unfortunately (initially) and reassurance in order to feel secure enough to give of myself - and with the level that I give of myself, I HAVE to know that the person feels deeply. Maybe it's my Venus trine Saturn too. I don't know. I have Scorpio on the 7th house cusp also, so power struggles were always a huge theme in my relationships.
But with my Neptune inside the 7th I also give so much of myself in relationship, to the point of sacrifice - so it's always really important to me as well to know that the other has a tremendous amount invested in the relationship too, otherwise it's just all in vain. IP: Logged |
meta_4
Knowflake Posts: 1141
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 27, 2008 10:03 PM
MyVirgoMask,I can understand that. It sounds more rational to be that way- Scorpio needs depth and relentless commitment. So then if you are attracted to someone, do you hint your feelings? Do you make the first move, or are you in the submissive role and waiting for your dominant partner to take charge of the situation? I'm just intrigued because as a Mars in Taurus individual i have definitely felt on several different occasions this undertone of submission. This sense that they have surrendered and bestowed onto me this massive power. They may not confess it, but it hangs in the air. It's difficult to articulate, sorry... I'm just trying to understand why! IP: Logged |
FistOfLegend
unregistered
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posted December 27, 2008 10:22 PM
What if someone has Venus conjunct Uranus in Scorpio? Do they lose a lot of their 'Scorpio flavor'?IP: Logged |
MyVirgoMask
Knowflake Posts: 3671
From: Bay Area, CA
Registered: May 2009
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posted December 27, 2008 10:31 PM
Well, now that you put it that way...I am submissively waiting...LOL. And I'm a Taurus Mars just like you. It's odd - my Mars is in the 1st house, conjunct my Taurus ascendant. Despite all that, I do still feel I very much 'wait' a while. But in truth, I really do have a short fuse with the timing. Because my feelings are so huge and overpowering, I feel like I can't take it for long (Aries moon ) if I have to wait for someone to 'give of themselves' to me. I do kinda shut down emotionally and go into a very weird watchful, guarded mode - I mean, my god, EVERYTHING the person does in regards to me gets put on the line, and they have absolutely NO IDEA how I'm sitting there watching them, keeping track of every little thing they do and say (sounds kinda evil, but it's actually that I feel no control over my feelings and that if I express anything, I'm going to fall apart).
I guess it's passive behavior, but I sit there and just listen to every single thing they say and remember every little thing - my actions are subtle, but I think Venus in Scorpio is actually magnetic. We don't go after someone, we bring people to us by silently promising a lot. If the other is too dense - well, it's their loss.
And with the Mars in Taurus I think I tend to 'nurture' and even have to keep that in check otherwise I'll end up like, nurturing someone to death without knowing how they feel. Give them huge doses of sex, food, love, and general comfort...and then get really, really vengeful when it's not appreciated. So, I hold back on those things unfortunately until I know for sure.
My Venus opposes my Mars. Lots of inner conflict.
It's really hard sometimes  IP: Logged |
CoralFrequency
Newflake Posts: 0
From:
Registered: Aug 2009
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posted December 27, 2008 11:06 PM
hmm but they can also control people BY being submissive. Being in control and being submissive are not opposites. An overtly submissive person could be a covert control freak. quote:
Give them huge doses of sex, food, love, and general comfort...and then get really, really vengeful when it's not appreciated.
Actually I think this is more or less, what I mean. I've noticed this behaviour in Venus Scorp men. I have Venus opp Pluto and I'm temped to do this. IP: Logged |
Libralove09
Newflake Posts: 0
From:
Registered: Oct 2009
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posted December 27, 2008 11:11 PM
i was gonna say the same thing as coral.they may minipulate you into thinking they are being submissive, but really they are pulling the strings. to handle a scorpio's manipulation, you have to try and think like them.  you need a broad scope on things! IP: Logged |
meta_4
Knowflake Posts: 1141
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 27, 2008 11:13 PM
MVM,So on the surface you're trying to keep your cool but underneath you're dying a slow death- sounds appetizing! But i understand- i'm a Cancer Venus  We speak the same language! But you will hold out giving yourself away until THEY confess their feelings, until there is certainly no danger of being rejected? That's security. You don't want to admit to your helplessness until you know it's mutual/you'll be nurtured & passionately healed. Hmm.. so how long does it take you to lose control? To become completely powerless & obsessed? Instantly? Gradually? IP: Logged |
meta_4
Knowflake Posts: 1141
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 27, 2008 11:24 PM
Coral,Definitely true. I didn't think of it that way... but i'm glad you pointed it out. I'm not interested in a Venus Scorpy male currently, but being in college i have met a few in the past few months and it seems like the same story every time: There is this aura that, if i asked them to pull out their teeth, sure enough, i'd be holding some molars! And some of these gentlemen have me this feeling just upon introduction- it's not spoken, but it's apparent, you know? In their body language, in their lack of defenses. They're incredibly intimate. Not in an obvious way... but in little slip ups. Venus in Scorpios aren't intimate easily. They need safety, they need to know that they will be understood before they share their secrets. ..I just wasn't sure if this was a result of my own chart- Leo Sun, Aqua Moon, Cancer Venus, Taurus Mars, Scorpio ASC, etc- or if this was common among Venus in Scorpio folks... IP: Logged |
MyVirgoMask
Knowflake Posts: 3671
From: Bay Area, CA
Registered: May 2009
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posted December 27, 2008 11:39 PM
Meta, yes - Scorpio Venus males are extremely intimate in how they interact. I have an ex who's still a friend of mine and he's got Venus, Mercury, Uranus in Scorpio, in the 8th house along with his sun. LOL. It's like the stellium from hell (or heaven, depending on how you view it). He's extremely intimate in how he relates, but is also very reserved. It was interesting when we were involved (I can't seem to bring myself to use the term 'dating'), it was like some kind of secretive showdown of who was going to let their guard down first. As far as how long it takes to get 'hooked' - it depends. It's insidious, that's for sure. Emotions for others are like poison. I don't become attracted unless I know the other person is as well. And then it's about 2 months usually for the crazy emotion to be in full swing. I can't hold out for longer than 6 months. It gets worse and worse until I can't take it anymore. Then I just won't talk to the person or see them anymore, until I'm sure the feelings are good and dead (about 3 months does the trick). Oddly enough, after that, I'm good as new. I emerge as a completely new person and can talk to the person as though I have had a lifetime with them, then died, and somehow become reborn with just some faint, fond memories and nostalgia.
Weird, huh. IP: Logged |
CoralFrequency
Newflake Posts: 0
From:
Registered: Aug 2009
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posted December 27, 2008 11:48 PM
Meta -With both Scorpio and Capricorn placements, I don't personally feel a loss of control or helplessness. I usually perceive an overall acceptance of life with its pleasures and its pains - which is actually a strength. My bf has a Scorpio Venus (Sag sun), but I've known Libras with this placement also. They're very intense and loving. I just don't get a "helpless" vibe. IP: Logged |
meta_4
Knowflake Posts: 1141
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 27, 2008 11:51 PM
Holy Hell MVM! There's no lingering feelings after that? Not even a flicker??? ...That sort of breaks my heart. I can totally understand about your former lover though- the intense desire for overwhelming intimacy. Didn't it bind you to him though? Once he had your secrets, your soul- weren't you shackled to or... almost dependent on him? And you say you don't become attracted until you're sure that the feelings are mutual- but you can't control who you're attracted to. You can control how you act upon the attraction, but you can't control the desire itself... in my humble opinion. So did you mean the way you act? IP: Logged |
meta_4
Knowflake Posts: 1141
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 27, 2008 11:54 PM
Coral,So you don't feel that horrible urge to expose yourself, to lay your chips on the table when you met someone you're furiously attracted to? That's what i meant by loss of control/helplessness. I didn't mean a suicidal despair, lol (not to offend anyone who does feel that!) IP: Logged |
BLKFox
unregistered
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posted December 28, 2008 12:11 AM
I have Venus in Scorpio, and I spend MUCH time checking someone out and fantasizing about them before anything ever happens....this is how I am at age 50 something---
Now in my youth, I have to say NO ONE got undressed quicker than me---AND, I must admit, I did allow myself to get into situations that I may as well resisted for the remainder of my life.
Now, I am extremely slow to commit to anything--one reason being that I am no longer hormone-driven, so it's easy for me to resist what is OBVIOUSLY the wrong attraction.
I can go for years checking someone out, and they'll never be the wiser---it's really creepy!---even to me!IP: Logged |
MyVirgoMask
Knowflake Posts: 3671
From: Bay Area, CA
Registered: May 2009
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posted December 28, 2008 12:21 AM
Meta, I seriously don't become attracted unless it's mutual. I can't recall a time in my life when I fell for someone who wasn't at least attracted to me ... that's how thw trouble usually begins As for that ex, it was a very short but intense relationship. We broke up when I asked him if he was in love with me and he said no and then BROKE UP WITH ME. lol. It's been 7 years and he still contacts me, but I've kept him at arm's length - but he's going to be in town in a couple of weeks and I'm going to see him. I don't trust him. I forgive him (he's apologized profusely for his behavior, but I wouldn't ever get into a committed relationship with him again), and yes, we are bound in some way, but it feels more karmic than anything. He's my marker of when I'm getting ready to start a new phase in my life - he always seems to surface around that time. No, I don't hold feelings for the people I fell in love with once I let them go - I mean, the feelings are deep, but it's like they morph into kindness and friendship, and the love feels redemptive for me. Once I get to that point, they often confess their own feelings to me, but it's too late ... however, they stay bound to me in some weird way and always seem to come to me when they need assurance of some kind, or advice, or someone to confide to. I think the water signs/water Venusus are really good at keeping people tied or dependent on them in some subtle way - we do it without even realizing it. I'm just looking at it in retrospect and I'm kind of appalled actually. We can't give of ourselves to the level we're comfortable with without some kind of secure, safe space to do so, and if we're not given it then we turn it inward and seem to drown/die/then become resurrected. And whoever's there with us seems to get dragged on for the ride, whether or not they like it LOL
But I really don't know how to love in some breezy, simple way....the switch is either activated or it's not - If I want you I'm either consumed by you, or you're dead and simply don't realize it yet. There's no in-between. IP: Logged |
meta_4
Knowflake Posts: 1141
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 28, 2008 12:28 AM
BLKFox,You didn't need some sort of intimacy to sleep with someone? Or was it that the people you were sleeping with you didn't desire a relationship from? I know Venus in Scorpio makes your sexual appetite pretty mighty, but you didn't need some sort of emotional connection? IP: Logged |
meta_4
Knowflake Posts: 1141
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 28, 2008 12:36 AM
MVM,I feel like i'm interrogating you- lol! If i start to annoy you or start getting too personal, please tell me. Anywho, how do you make yourself NOT fall in love with someone? You said you won't allow it if the other person doesn't feel the same, but how do you control your emotions? How do you control love? So if he wasn't in love with you but still comes around... is there a sense of unspoken love? Do you think he has feelings for you and just hasn't said anything? I would imagine it's difficult being around him... but then again, you don't dwell on unrequited love! Lucky girl. I thought dwelling came with the water sign job description  But yes, i totally agree with you on what you said about water signs. It's almost like a handicap. We're limited, involuntarily, by our NEED for security. You can't ignore that nagging voice that obsesses over "he loves me, he loves me not". And it's not enough to actually win the person over- once you have them you have to have constant reassurance that they're going to stay yours. That there is no possible chance of being abandoned. IP: Logged |
IWDWSWLM
unregistered
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posted December 28, 2008 12:44 AM
I am a Libra sun with this placement.I agree with what MyVirgoMask is saying. Basically I almost NEVER make the first move, but I give off enough obvious body language/interest signs that indicate that I am open to the possibility of bringing things a step up if I am interested in the person. However I do leave it up to them to make the first OFFICIAL move. If I find the person does not like me back, or we get involved and I discover the feelings are not mutual, I completely shut them off. The fact that they are not attracted to me, makes them almost instantly unattractive to me. If I am involved with the person and things seem to be mutual I do devote myself pretty deeply to the relationship/partnership and I can be pretty intense, but not quite clingy. Its actually a fine line. If I have been involved with someone for a while and I find that the feelings are not mutual or I am being played, I do sever immediately, and don't spend much time suffering over it. IP: Logged |
Scorpio Chick
unregistered
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posted December 28, 2008 01:26 AM
I've got 5 planets in Scorp including Venus and I agree.If I am attracted and you show interest... I'm YOURS forever. If I'm attracted and you're not...you will be totally ignored. If you are attracted and I'm not...we can be friends unless things get weird. I do find that when I date, I tend to think most people think the same way I do, which is that I only date one person at a time, and I devote most of my time trying to get things going between me and that person. Going slow kills me, because I need the intensity of a true relationship with all the passion and feeling and commitment... but its hard to get that at the start of a relationship. IP: Logged |
MyVirgoMask
Knowflake Posts: 3671
From: Bay Area, CA
Registered: May 2009
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posted December 28, 2008 01:39 AM
IDW pretty much said it, Meta - if they're not interested, then there's no interest and I don't have a hook. The thing has to be mutual. I can't imagine dwelling on someone who doesn't know I exist or doesn't have intimate feelings...and it's not like willpower or anything, it's just that the feelings won't kick in. And same with the relationship itself, as IDW said - if I'm investing more than the other person, then after a while I completely withdraw and then end it (after cluing the other in of course). As for my ex...hmm, I don't know what he wants exactly. Well...hehe. I do know what he wants. But beyond the intensity of a few evenings, there's nothing else I would want to give him, we're just not compatible in other areas. We'll see. I'll keep you posted IP: Logged |
kaira
unregistered
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posted December 28, 2008 08:21 AM
it depends if being submissive gets me what i want. if it doesn't, i become dominant.IP: Logged |
BLKFox
unregistered
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posted December 29, 2008 10:05 PM
Meta,I was so HORMONE driven AND screwed up from my childhood---the very LAST thing I was looking for was emotional intimacy. I did a lot of damage during that period in my life, especially to those who got emotionally involved.[Venus in Scorp., Mars in Leo]Venus in my 2nd house, Mars in my 10th
So, now, I am so careful, I haven't been involved for many years.
--Just want to add...I do have Moon & Jupiter conj in my 4th House---that MAY explain the detachment. IP: Logged |
amowls
Newflake Posts: 4
From: Falls Church, VA, USA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 30, 2008 01:17 AM
Well Scorpio is a feminine/receptive sign, so it would make sense.IP: Logged |
meta_4
Knowflake Posts: 1141
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 30, 2008 02:21 AM
BLKFox,So you rejected any hint of emotional intimacy with your partners, but maybe that's what you were truly looking for- underneath it all. Through just having no strings sex and therefore not getting attached you were just distracting yourself- avoiding pain by removing any roots for it. Or... maybe i'm reading too much into it What are your placements like? What's your chart like? The Scorpio Venus/Leo Mars combination has me intrigued.. IP: Logged |
augentier
unregistered
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posted December 30, 2008 02:45 AM
When attracted to someone I pursue them..I am aggressive, controlling (to an extent), and take charge..but once I've got their affection I DO become submissive and my emotions are totally in the hands of the other person. Sucks.------------------
Capricorn sun / Scorpio rising / Sagittarius moon Mercury:: Sagittarius
Venus::Scorpio
Mars::Pisces IP: Logged | |
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