posted January 28, 2009 01:45 PM           

I tend to think of people as like a permanent transit in terms of their effect on each other in synastry. Over the last few years Pluto has transited over my Asc and Venus in late Sag and boy did I ever feel it... I found myself to be the subject of several intense crushes, which can be flattering but also painfully uncomfortable. It sent me to a dark place where I've been afraid to trust men and always suspect ulterior motives. Also, with Venus being the ruler of my 6th house my health has been 'transforming' thanks to some alternative therapy I've been receiving.

If my personal planets can 'feel' Pluto in a transit I see no reason why they could not 'feel' it in synastry.

posted January 28, 2009 07:53 PM         

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It seems to me that all synastry is mutually felt to some extent.

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I used to 100% believe that, too, until I developed a crush on a man who totally did not return my attraction. I think maybe afflicted Sun-Saturn aspects can block mutual attraction elsewhere in the chart? Or, I don't know. Maybe the things about me that no one was able to resist for the first three decades of my life have disappeared. But I think the culprit was more likely his afflicted Saturn, and our mutually un-fun Sun-Saturn situation.

I do think there must be synastry aspects that accurately indicate one-sidedness...because, so many of us have experienced one-sided attraction in life. I mean, most people I know have had someone very attracted to them, and they don't return the feeling.

posted January 30, 2009 01:58 AM           

Perhaps it's not the planet to planet synastry that determines weather an attraction is one sided. I tend to think that if your chart symbolism does not fit with being someone's type, then it doesn't matter if you have Venus/Mars conjunct, they'll still only see you in a platonic way. There is a formula I use to identify what someone's type is by looking at the natal chart, but you need to know the person in questions correct birth time to figure it out.

If the symbolism in your chart does not relate to his 5th, 7th, or 8th house symbolism in any way he will likely not be attracted regardless of synastry.

House overlays have a very powerful effect on how synastry plays out, and is the most common reason why you can be attracted to someone with whom you have weak synastry, or, as in your case, not be attracted to someone with whom you have strong synasry. The houses most connected with attraction between the sexes are the 5th, 7th & 8th. If someone’s natal chart matches the symbolism of these houses then an attraction may occur even if the synastry is weak, if the symbolism of someone’s chart doesn't match the symbolism of these houses there is unlikely to be an attraction even if the synastry is strong.
Look at the sign on the cusp of the house, the cusp ruler by sign, house and aspect, and of course any planets in that house, to see the 'theme' for each of these relationship houses. It is also worth taking note of the next sign along after the cusp sign, especially if a large portion of that next sign falls into the house in question. The 'themes' reflected by these houses show what you need in a partner on various different levels. The symbolism of the 5th refers to what you find romantically exciting in others, the symbolism of the 7th refers to what you feel you need in others to complete you, and the symbolism of the 8th refers what you need to bond on a deeply intimate level.
Some other factors that I have noticed causing attraction, regardless of planet synastry, are hard aspects to the Vertex, especially the conjunction and opposition, and the partner's planets in the house symbolized by the Dsc sign. e.g. if you have an Aqua Dsc look at you 11th house to see if your partner has important planets in your 11th house, or if you have a Taurus Dsc look to see if your partners planets fall in you 2nd house etc. Good planet syanstry is positive in any relationship but it may not have a sexual flavor unless two people’s house symbolisms connect in certain ways. If your partners 5th, 7th & 8th relate to your chart symbolically this will create an attraction as well.
That being said, if the synastry is weak (and by weak, I mean no 'hot aspects') and you do have an attraction only because of house overlays, that attraction may always be mild as there is no planet on planet action to really get the juices flowing, and move things from a mere appreciation to a deeper level of involvement. On the other side of the fence, I do believe it is also possible for a really strong and potent (very tight orb) 'hot aspect' to create an attraction even if the house connections for romantic feelings (5th, 7th & 8th houses) are weak, but in these cases the reaction is likely to be that although you can see that person as having a certain appeal on a physical level, you may feel they are not you're type in terms of personality.
Basically, my point is that the most intense attractions are created by a combination of the right aspects and certain house symbolism mirroring between people. If both are not strong any resulting attraction due to either house overlays or 'hot aspects' alone will create a mild attraction and best and none otherwise. It's a balancing act between these two factors.

posted January 30, 2009 11:48 AM         

My Sun, Mercury, and Mars in his 5th House
My Neptune in his 7th house

His Venus and Neptune are in Sagitarius in his 8th House...I am a Leo Sun, with my Sun trined to his 8th House Venus.

We had a Mars-Venus square which I have experienced as mutually hot in other situations.

The whole experience was superduper irritating!!! I felt convinced that he was secretly wildly attracted to me, and he really wasn't, but a part of me still thinks that actually he was, and that's he's just an afflicted-Saturn control-freak weenie. Another part of me worries that I have lost all my own 8th-house mojo and that I'm delusional. There was a lot of Saturn and Neptune action in that non-relationship.

Also, it gave me all these wrong ideas about Scorpio men. The guy who rejected me avoided touching me ever, even just platonically. To the point that it was really, really weird. (As a Leo with a Cancer stellium, I'm the sort of woman people like to touch...I don't just mean sexually. My friends like hugging me or sitting close. I mean, I don't smell bad or have sores all over my face or something!) I thought it was a Scorpio thing where he wanted to control the situation, but the Scorpio I am hanging out with now touches me all the time.