posted April 18, 2009 07:28 PM         

I just read Lara's scenario post to Mr 23 and Mr 23 grinned and said it was very true. So there you go, from a man.

Also go read Maddox maybe, he says similar things as well.

I think that Lara is explaining basic biology. It is in no way demeaning to women. And then Kick It and others seem to be taking a humanistic/psychological/modernist point of view. I think BOTH** arguments is correct, in reality, it probably is a blending of the two but don't discount Lara's basic biology theory. This tends to happen a lot on this website I've noticed, it's like everyone is a SNAG on here sometimes.

posted April 18, 2009 07:33 PM           

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Relationships and sex are complicated

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What is a no no is to then chase the man cos it leaves the man with nothing to do!!!

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Show affection, maybe continue the kiss when it happens, you get the idea. If I understood your words correctly.

The big problem is communication. Women in particular use gestures, subtle hints to get things going. For the next two weeks you could be using gestures and subtle hints, when all a person needs to do is be balls-up straight and direct. Either one.
Two week of tension for something that can be sorted out on date one.

posted April 18, 2009 07:33 PM           

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Disagree. People make it complicated.
Man likes Woman, Woman likes Man. They both like each other and should get togther. Many times this never happens.

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Of course people make it complicated - they're the one's involved. We are both actually saying the same thing here...

posted April 18, 2009 07:38 PM           

Although Kismet did say it is degrading to women, then you mentioned you was not degrading me. I am hurt!

You think of me as a woman?
Fine, I wont approach you at all!

posted April 18, 2009 07:40 PM         

Kismet, well i think it's ironic that you say this on Linda's forum when Linda herself wrote this:

QUOTE:
"Sex is not a sin; only the mis-use of it is a sin against the higher angel of one's own Self. Sexual union is the ecstasy of "deep" discovered by those who love, symbolic of a man and woman's blending with the Universe and all of Nature, in Oneness. It's simply a matter of priorities.

you fall in love first - with your eyes.
Then with your mind, then with your heart (emotions).
By now your soul has joined the experience - whether you ralize it or not, you've fallen in love spiritually - and it's time to fall in love with your body.

It doesn't work when you take the steps in reverse.

For only the eyes know how to lead you into the mind of the one they gaze upon.
Only the mind knows how to lead you into the heart of the one with whom you've found a mental affinity.
Only the heart knows how to lead you into union with the soul of the one you love.
And the soul is well aware... oh! well aware, believe me...
of how to lead you, then, into the ecstasy of Oneness called sexual mating - becoming "one" flesh.

But if you begin with the body... the body knows not where to lead you, except into more and more sensations of the flesh, which by themselves have no power to fulfill love's yearning or feed love's deeper hunger - sensations that must, by certain physiological laws, eventually cause the body to become immune to sensation, needing ever more and more stimulation - until finally, like a drug, the tolerance level for even this is reached, and there is oblivion of all feeling.
Using the body as an instrument for sex alone, without love, is like listening to a symphony on stereophonic equipment but using only one speaker."

VIVA LINDA GOODMAN.

posted April 18, 2009 07:48 PM         

A woman should always accept lovingly a man.. at whatever stage, i'm only talking about a woman taking control and pushing a man... chasing him.
You don't chase a lion do you? He chases you! and when he catches you he's gonna eat you.!!!

A woman is receptive like a container. A man wants to fill himself up in that container so women should let him and not try to either pretend to not be a container nor allow him to use the container without REALLY wanting to reside in it.
Same for a woman... sex at first base gets you first base and OUT! It never leads anywhere significant.
Love at first sight is a load of bolloks too. LUST yeah, but love... come on!!!

posted April 18, 2009 07:53 PM         

People's tastes, preferences, emotional wants and needs, and turn-ons vary from person to person.

I guess what bugs me about the whole, "If a man wants you, he'll go for you" thing is:
1) Some people, male and female, are turned off by an approach that's too aggressive...and some are turned off by an approach that's too icy. Even if two people are drawn to each other, getting together isn't always perfectly easy, un-confusing, automatic and "natural." Sometimes someone screws up in the beginning and drives away a person they really, really want. I think we should all HELP each other, astrologically or not, to strategize how to get what we want.

I hate that whole, "He'll never want you, there's nothing you can do, ever" approach. If it's really true that a man someone is wild over will never want her, and nothing she can do will ever change that, then it's time for advice and ideas about WHY that is the case.

I hate "that's just the way things are" explanations for anything. I guess it's the 8th house...I need a deeper explanation.

One of my Virgo male friends--I don't know the rest of his chart, he doesn't believe in astrology, though he is a total Virgo--is constantly sending women mixed messages. He always has three lovers at a time--and he is aggressive picking up those women--but when he really falls hard for someone he won't have sex with her...he'll do things like sleep in the same bed with her and reject her advances, for weeks, till she goes nearly crazy. Then, he'll find some weird and untrue excuse why he can't be with her anymore. OR he will fixate on an unavailable woman. We talk a lot about his love life, and the thing is that if a woman wanted to get through all of that vagueness and weirdness, there are certain secret strategies she would need to adopt. And if she did adopt them, they would work! That's what advice is for.

Sometimes we fall for people for whom getting together isn't easy...I don't think it always means that those people aren't worth being with. Sometimes we feel an intense and beautiful connection and attraction to someone who gives mixed messages back...and the right strategy would allow us to explore that connection.

I think an anonymous astrology forum is a place where people ought to be able to get really excellent advice about getting what they want.

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but everybody knows when a person is attracted to us and us to them

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posted April 18, 2009 07:53 PM           

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A woman is receptive like a container. A man wants to fill himself up in that container so women should let him and not try to either pretend to not be a container nor allow him to use the container without REALLY wanting to reside in it.

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And that is the sound of my jaw hitting the floor.

posted April 18, 2009 07:56 PM         

simply cos relationships are my numero uno life's lessons and i'm a master at them now... through experience.

Fairytale weddings are for people living in dreamland! ALL marital relationships are like businesses. You sign a contract and then set to work on building an empire!

posted April 18, 2009 08:00 PM         

It's an anology.. a psychological one too.
A woman is a receptacle. You can't argue with it cos a woman has a womb that a man implants his sperm into!!!!!

posted April 18, 2009 08:00 PM           

1. Wear slutty clothes.
2. Laugh at his jokes.
3. Put out on first date.

A Capricorn gave that to me

1 is optional, 2 not good, 3 is always welcome.

Some fellas are after a shag and thats it. They are single and will most likely say anything to get them into bed.
Its a shame that Men dont communicate honestly when in those situations as I hear Women like sex too.

posted April 18, 2009 08:03 PM           

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simply cos relationships are my numero uno life's lessons and i'm a master at them now... through experience.

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So why are you single, then?

All bickering aside, someone here said you are degrading to women, but I don't see it that way. You are degrading to men. What happened to you to make you this way? We've all been hurt, so I get where you're coming from, but you need to find a way to heal this. It sounds like the men you were with were very conquest oriented and all about sex. Not all men are that way. They are sexual and instinctual, yes, but the nice one's aren't how you describe and if you meet a nice one you won't have to treat him like an enemy and the whole relationship like war-slash-business.

posted April 18, 2009 08:04 PM         

I agree with Lady Neptune--I'm no container! Then again, I agree with Lara about the business nature of marriage. That's why I don't want a long-term relationship now--I want to bond deeply with beautiful men who excite me.

Instead, hordes of too-old men I'm not hot for want to date and marry me right now, and I have weird, confusing, sexless friendships with the guys I AM hot for.

posted April 18, 2009 08:07 PM           

The man GIVES and the woman RECEIVES and never shall the roles get reserved... oh damn, they already did

I know what you meant, but I disagree with it. It's just rubbish.

Men want intimacy and relationships too. Some, no a lot, of men are pigs, but you just have to weed those one's out - unless that's all you want at the moment. They're good for a fling and some fun, if that's all the woman is wanting at the time.

posted April 18, 2009 08:09 PM         

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sexless friendships

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