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Author
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Topic: He's Just Not that Into You
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CarbonUnit
Knowflake Posts: 11
From: Austin, Tx, USA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 19, 2009 12:06 AM
 
Women having sex for fun is pretty normal now days. I can not do this. Have sex with a bunch of different guys with no attachments. I think woman's liberation in the 60's and the way media uses sex (Sex and the City, etc.) to sell is probably why many woman are so into the hunt. I don't find it natural for my self. I want a connection, an attachment. Superficial sex would not be fun for me no matter how attracted I am to a stranger. The thought that I'm being used or using someone for sex would not be pleasurable at all. I would get depressed after the act. I do have many fantasies (Venus in Scorpio in the 8th house conj Neptune) but never want to live one. No one night stands here. I guess I'm in the minority. I have no problem with my friends that screw around. That is their business. IP: Logged |
Belage
Knowflake Posts: 81
From: California
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 19, 2009 12:10 AM
quote:
Seduction is not pursuing. Seduction is being passive in a non-moving aggressive way. They are still moving to her, she did not chase them, they chased her after she laid the bait.
Seduction can be done in many different ways. Passive, aggressive. My point is that, she made the first move. She didn't wait for them to make the first move. She took the initiative, she was the initiator. All those things that the wall flower women are leaving on to the males in the name of gender roles. I am not saying that every woman should go after a man that she wants. We don't all have fiery personal planets, or personal love planets in Scorpio. Nothing wrong if you're a wall flower woman waiting for a guy to make the first move. To each his own. But to assume that this is what every woman worthy of the title must do is a gross generalization. Rules are made to be broken, and truthfully, all the exceptional women of history have broken countless rules. THey lived by their own rules, not society's. IP: Logged |
23
Knowflake Posts: 250
From: The Strand
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 19, 2009 12:10 AM
Lets hope it stays like that with both of you  IP: Logged |
Glaucus
Knowflake Posts: 696
From: Sacramento,California
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 19, 2009 12:14 AM
heh...I have my personal planet,Venus in Scorpio square Mars in Aquarius, and I am not good at going after the woman that I want.I didn't even go out on a real date until I was 22 years old when I was in the Navy. My Saturn contraparallels Venus-Neptune parallel. My Moon squares Saturn-Neptune opposition. My Saturn aspects my Sun trine Moon for a mystic triangle (quincunx my Sun and square my Moon). That would seem to reflect my shyness that affects my relating to others.
Raymond
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Kick It
unregistered
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posted April 19, 2009 12:31 AM
quote:
THey lived by their own rules, not society's.
I sure do. I guess society is not keen on my type of rules.Part of the reason why the internet is not my favourite tool in the world, despite its usage. People dont meet face-to-face, speak direct and in person, without hiding.
Someone can speak with you on facebook and you dont even know who they really are...could be anyone....having never met them. That really pees me off.
Its not "normal" Someone gives you a call or comes round in person and arranges a date...that is "normal"
Or at least what MY SOCIETY is all about. IP: Logged |
Glaucus
Knowflake Posts: 696
From: Sacramento,California
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 19, 2009 12:38 AM
Personally, I think normal is a joke. Normal is based on what majority believes is right and acceptable. That's relative. It depends on the environment that a person lives in. I am anything but normal,and I don't care. I don't see that as being bad. I like people that don't don't fit norms.
we would be viewed as not normal by psychiatrists and scientists for being astrologers.
Raymond IP: Logged |
PeaceAngel
Moderator Posts: 1162
From: peace.angel@live.com.au
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 19, 2009 12:39 AM
It's not like women having sex for the sole purpose of pleasure is new. I hear a lot of women going on about how we live in a man's world, blah, blah, blah, and that women act like they should have a penis like it's this all powerful implement. Well it can be. But with one vagina, how many penises can one woman command! Think about it. Who has the power where? And, if sex wasn't for pleasure, why would anyone want to do it?IP: Logged |
Kick It
unregistered
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posted April 19, 2009 12:47 AM
Maybe I should have put "normal" for me Glaucus.
Depends on how you view the world as to whether it is a Man/Woman or equal world.
Just look at contraception. Female pill out for ages and yet nothing (on the shelves) for Men in similar format. How is that possible?
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PeaceAngel
Moderator Posts: 1162
From: peace.angel@live.com.au
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 19, 2009 12:50 AM
Men aren't generally held responsible for birth control. Women tend to assert that it's their body so the generalisation or assumption is it's her responsibility. Not saying it's right or wrong, just stating how I think it is, or at least, how I see it's seen.IP: Logged |
Kick It
unregistered
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posted April 19, 2009 12:54 AM
quote:
Men aren't generally held responsible for birth control.
Yeah, youre right. IP: Logged |
Belage
Knowflake Posts: 81
From: California
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 19, 2009 12:57 AM
quote:
heh...I have my personal planet,Venus in Scorpio square Mars in Aquarius, and I am not good at going after the woman that I want.I didn't even go out on a real date until I was 22 years old when I was in the Navy. My Saturn contraparallels Venus-Neptune parallel. My Moon squares Saturn-Neptune opposition. My Saturn aspects my Sun trine Moon for a mystic triangle (quincunx my Sun and square my Moon). That would seem to reflect my shyness that affects my relating to others.
Raymond, of course, if someone's personal planets are stressed by some square or opposition, then it is more difficult to express them in their natural ways. Thus, a man with Mars in fiery Aries will have a hard time expressing the aggressivity of this aspect if such Mars is squared by Saturn. By the same token, a Virgo woman with Mars in Cancer might seem quite demure, but if she has Pluto conjunct/sextile/trine her sun/mars/venus/ascendant/ruling planet etc, she could have the power and intensity of purpose to go after what she wants and not wait for it to come to her. That are all sort of other astrological aspects that can explain why people don't follow gender ascribed rules in matters of the heart. IP: Logged |
amowls
Knowflake Posts: 4
From: Falls Church, VA, USA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 19, 2009 01:15 AM
Um well when I started dating my current boyfriend, I hooked up with him on the first date. We slept together the first weekend after hooking up for the first time. We've been official for almost a year now.Wow I guess I'm a **** who's not worthy enough for any man, huh. If a guy sleeps with you and then decides he never wants to see you again because you were "too easy" maybe he's an a-hole and you shouldn't be dating him anyway. That's my litmus test actually. Also, I don't want to fall in love with someone and then find out he's a freaking dead fish in the bedroom. If I sleep with someone first, and then find out if he's a good lay, there's no loss. And as for advice from MADDOX... well I'm not even going to go there except to say THANKFULLY he is not representative of all men. It's sad that some women think of themselves as receptacles who must elude men's advances because they think its the only way to be interesting to men. I thank God every day that I have enough self esteem to not think of myself as a toilet for guys to *** in. IP: Logged |
23
Knowflake Posts: 250
From: The Strand
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 19, 2009 01:26 AM
Belage - I think we have different definitions of initiating. For me, it's when the person physically approaches and asks to go out but your definition is strictly more correct, a lure or seduction can be initiating, which in case, I am probably an initiator myself. IP: Logged |
23
Knowflake Posts: 250
From: The Strand
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 19, 2009 01:37 AM
Well PA, I think your theory of "how many dicks" fits in with the "one egg" business that you mentioned and you are right about the contraceptive thing too.Amowls - Maddox is only an example of one male view that some males would agree with. That's just an example, please don't get so worked up about things like this. I used to be a bit of a feminist in my younger days but then reality seeps in. When you get involved with a guy that has a heavy job and you have to support him by being a homemaker because he can bring in more money that you; when you start having kids etc; when you go into a workplace and are not paid equally or treated equally, then you realise how little power you can have as a woman. I see it everyday with myself and my friends. Sure it's great to fight for the rights of women and it should be done but I don't think this true equality has been achieved and I'm sorry to say, will be achieved. This is what Lara is trying to point out with her argument I believe. IP: Logged |
Kick It
unregistered
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posted April 19, 2009 01:39 AM
It can be both good and bad to date someone who has friends who...more or less speak for them. Bad for obvious reasons and that you arent just dating them, but friends too. Can be good for them to get a second and maybe objective opinion. More likely to be subjective.
Friendship offers an outlet which can help a relationship and you can see how a person really is when they are with friends...drunk even. If there are any bad personality traits, they will show up without the possibility of hiding them.If you speak over the internet, or never even met that person, rushing straight into a relationship is not the best idea. The person can be totally different to what you expect.
Someone did tell me about a person and what they are really like. I hope it was all rubbish what they said. IP: Logged |
PeaceAngel
Moderator Posts: 1162
From: peace.angel@live.com.au
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 19, 2009 01:40 AM
Seduction is just a technique and it's broad. The second you meet someone you start thinking what do I do to attract this person. It's how it is. It could be sinister or playful - it's anything that manipulates the situation to your favour.IP: Logged |
amowls
Knowflake Posts: 4
From: Falls Church, VA, USA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 19, 2009 01:41 AM
It will be a relaxing day in hell when I lose my feminist fire (Venus square Chiron HEY-O).I also grew up in a household where both my parents worked. Families with both working parents make more money. Which is why feminists also work to make paternal leave and access to more than adequate daycare available. IP: Logged |
PeaceAngel
Moderator Posts: 1162
From: peace.angel@live.com.au
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 19, 2009 01:48 AM
23I don't believe that we're made to be equals all round. Women are women and have their strengths as such. We are nurturers by design. Men are physically strong, generally. But women, I believe, have far greater inner strength than men. We're supposed to balance each other, not become one another. In terms of intelligence and mental capability, I think that's where you'll find equal ground. IP: Logged |
23
Knowflake Posts: 250
From: The Strand
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 19, 2009 01:49 AM
quote:
Seduction is just a technique and it's broad. The second you meet someone you start thinking what do I do to attract this person. It's how it is. It could be sinister or playful - it's anything that manipulates the situation to your favour.
Well you could say that about diplomacy as well  but yes, you will in general, as a functioning human being, try to make yourself as appealing to most people as possible. Kick It, you're right. When I was in my younger days, I met a guy who I thought I was very good friends with on the net. We chatted for months about things on the net and one day we met in person. Neither of us had any other thoughts apart from friendship. However, in reality he turned out to be someone very else in reality, someone who I really didn't like and who I had very little in common in the broader scheme of things. When we both got onlne after meeting, it got really nasty. So that's just a mild example of it not working in a platonic sense. IP: Logged |
Dulce Luna
Knowflake Posts: 7
From: The Asylum, NC
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 19, 2009 01:50 AM
My opinion: people attach too many rules to courtship and romance and too many stereotype to each gender...I'm realizing that is why this topic annoys me to no end. Bottom line....-If I don't like to chase its because I'm reserved, not because I have a vagina. If you like to chase, then you go girl. -There's nothing wrong with being platonic buddies or being brahs...those are some of the best relationships out there. -If it feels right, go ahead and hook-up. I've heard of cases where people waited and still got dumped. Ergo it doesn't matter when you do it, if the guy is only looking for sex....time ain't gonna change his mentality. *end of rant* IP: Logged |
Kick It
unregistered
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posted April 19, 2009 01:54 AM
Yeah 23, the proof is in the meeting. The arguments too. Any dodgy stuff occuring is a big red flag that its best you didnt get together.IP: Logged |
23
Knowflake Posts: 250
From: The Strand
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 19, 2009 01:54 AM
Yes you are right PA but we live in a society that rewards labour in non-nurturing areas. Mothers looking after their own kids don't get paid, women who in general do more housework don't get rewarded, people who are childcare workers don't get rewarded. Then when it comes to the divorce, when there is a greater split to women because of their non-paid labor, men get snooty and say that women are stealing money from them. Men in general stick to their traditional role and do get paid and then women are left to depend on them. Having no money in the Western world can be quite a disadvantage. IP: Logged |
Glaucus
Knowflake Posts: 696
From: Sacramento,California
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 19, 2009 01:55 AM
just curiouswhat does Venus square Chiron have to do with feminism? I guess because Chiron is nonconformist type of energy, and so can indicate nonconformist values. I'd think Black Moon Lilith may fit feminism,but it's not even an object but an abstract point. also Juan Revilla talked about how the centaurs named after females in mythology could be Lilith-like like Chariklo and Hylonome.
the asteroid,Lilith might fit with feminism too.
I also wonder about women with strong emphasis on masculine signs (fire,air) because they tend to not fit in with female stereotypes and don't want to be involved in traditional female roles....especially people with strong fire signs tend to be more aggressive.
also Scorpio is very tricky with it being a feminine sign,and being ruled by Mars and Pluto. a prominent Uranus could also fit because of being unconventional
I think people with prominent centaur,kuiper belt energy can also be more nonconformists than people with prominent Uranus because the former objects are eccentric astronomically unlike Uranus.
True Black Moon Lilith (osculating lunar apogee) movement is erratic, and so it's a nonconformist.
I think that this more with liberal feminism though.
Raymond
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23
Knowflake Posts: 250
From: The Strand
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 19, 2009 01:57 AM
So much can get hidden too Kick It. I struck up a net relationship with someone only to discover that he had a girlfriend who ended up asking me to spy on him to see if he was interested in anyone else. Luckily I never ended up with that jerk. Never forgiven him for it. So that's an example for you. Of course, this could happen in a non-net environment too. IP: Logged |
23
Knowflake Posts: 250
From: The Strand
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 19, 2009 02:04 AM
Chiron square Venus, was thinking of that myself. Needing to heal female issues or sensitivity with it?Both Amowls and I are very air heavy. The only two planets that are not masculine my chart is Saturn and Uranus. Chariklo is in my 12th house, 2 deg from BML and 3 from my ASC. I have Hylonome in the 3rd and it is square my Pluto/Charliko (apex is Hylonome). My Lilith is in the 8th/Sco, 3 deg from my NN. Thanks again Glaucus. IP: Logged |
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