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Author
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Topic: Absent Father
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Unmoved
Knowflake Posts: 2196
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted July 12, 2009 08:20 PM
  
I finally "found" my father (more like finding out about him) this year. I was so persistent about finding out that it was an obsession, and everything had to stop until I found him. It took seeing his grave for me be at peace. I had to see his photos which I saw for the first time this year too. He does resemble me, so the man whose grave I went to was my father's. He died when I was very young and my mother never spoke of him, so... IP: Logged |
Orange
Knowflake Posts: 2049
From: Georgia
Registered: May 2009
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posted July 12, 2009 08:21 PM
aww, Pire, really? I think that it's better to have a missing father rather then a tyrannical one. Children of tyrannical fathers may become tyrans themselves when they grow up..or be too fearful and inferior to others. Who knows...
Libra Moon is yummy  IP: Logged |
Unmoved
Knowflake Posts: 2196
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted July 12, 2009 08:23 PM
I agree with OrangeIP: Logged |
pire
Knowflake Posts: 2336
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 12, 2009 08:24 PM
Unmoved, It depends on the house system u use. In placidus it would be your 3rd and 10th, but in equal or whole signs it would be 3rd and 9th. I dont know the other systems. So far, the equal seems more logical to me.Glaucus, true about the retrograde saturn, i think it goes retro quite a lot during any year. I dont know, may be retro saturn people dont feel totally in phase with the image reflected by their dads !?
I wouldnt be surprised about that. Who knows, in a deep level, may be unconscious... IP: Logged |
katatonic
unregistered
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posted July 12, 2009 08:29 PM
pire what aspect do you attribute to how hard on yourself you are? "a brat like me"...etc? you are au contraire very droll -and sweet!IP: Logged |
NeptuneIllusion
Knowflake Posts: 81
From: Mendocino County, CA
Registered: Jun 2009
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posted July 12, 2009 08:37 PM
My father was absent my whole life.Astrological indications in my natal chart may be: Saturn in 1st house
Pluto sextile sun
Saturn square Mars dunno. IP: Logged |
pire
Knowflake Posts: 2336
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 12, 2009 08:42 PM
As we say, the grass is always greener on the other side.. He had libra moon too, conjunct venus and neptune. I could have become tyranical, if he was, or i could have become a drug addict as a way to be different from him with my heavy neptune influence.One thing is sure, is that life would have been different. How...???... Who knows... Unmoved, i try to magine your feelings, not knowing is terrible. It's good to bring some light on someone who would have or could have been important for us. I have to do some serious work to unearth my roots. It's all blurry. My mum doesnt want to talk about it to much too. I regret it a bit because no matter how bad he was (he did hit her, probably my very first memory) he will always be an element of my life. All this makes me think that we have to be good to each other. Not just strangers, though to them in particular, but also to ourrelatives because they are part of ourselves, personally.  IP: Logged |
Unmoved
Knowflake Posts: 2196
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted July 12, 2009 08:56 PM
pire ~ {{{{hugs}}}}...I identify with that because there came a point in my search where I didn't care what I found, just as long as I found something. I wish you all the luck with your quest. It's not an easy one, but a necessary journey that you must take to find a little peace in your soul. IP: Logged |
pire
Knowflake Posts: 2336
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 12, 2009 08:56 PM
Katatonic  Your moon on my south node might colour your impression. But thank you very much, i'm proud of your consideration for me, i'll keep it with me
My saturn closely opposes my venus, so that could be where the feeling of being unloveable comes from.. Anyway, it's ok, im a lucky brat  Neptunillusion, please check the lilith aspecting MC ruler, and tell us if there is something too in your chart. Or the quest will go on... IP: Logged |
Deux*Antares
Knowflake Posts: 958
From: I am where I am and it's enough.
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 13, 2009 12:03 AM
There is no aspect between Lilith and MC ruler, but it (Lilith) is opposite my retro Saturn (8deg), square my MC and sesquiquadrate my Chiron. IP: Logged |
bopbop
Knowflake Posts: 300
From: USA
Registered: Jun 2009
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posted July 13, 2009 12:22 AM
The MC rules the "significant" parent according to Bob Marks. If your father is absent, it might show up in the IC. I always thought it was interesting that my father's sun sign is the same as the sign on my IC.He was absent for most of my life, and I have a retrograde Saturn opp. ascendant. IP: Logged |
Lonake
Knowflake Posts: 9947
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 13, 2009 01:14 AM
didn't read through the thread but sun hard aspect pluto is a biggie, esp opp. of course not always ~IP: Logged |
Lonake
Knowflake Posts: 9947
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 13, 2009 01:23 AM
ok reading through now, with something like this i think you'd need a few indicators rather than 1, for example saturn retro by itself wouldn't automatically point to this of course ~my case: saturn retro 3rd (early home life), sun sq uranus, sun in 8th ~ biological father mia and adoptive father emotionally absent/unreliable due to work and then mental disorder another case: saturn leo, sun opp pluto (could be more i just checked the aspects on the thread that stood out) ~ biological father mia IP: Logged |
fatinkerbell
Knowflake Posts: 659
From: South Korea
Registered: May 2009
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posted July 13, 2009 02:07 AM
 ------------------
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter. IP: Logged |
fatinkerbell
Knowflake Posts: 659
From: South Korea
Registered: May 2009
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posted July 13, 2009 02:12 AM
I didn't know my biological father, although I knew of him, till age 16. I had a stepfather at a young age but never really saw him as my dad. When I was 18 I spent time with my biological father, but that didn't go well at all as he ended up molesting me. I'm thinking sun square Pluto in the 6th might point to body-mind trauma from a father-figure. I don't know what other indicators point to absent father, but my case is really the quintessential absent father story...------------------
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter. IP: Logged |
fatinkerbell
Knowflake Posts: 659
From: South Korea
Registered: May 2009
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posted July 13, 2009 02:22 AM
OK now that I've read a bit more carefully, yes I've got Saturn retro and Sun hard aspect Pluto...------------------
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter. IP: Logged |
bopbop
Knowflake Posts: 300
From: USA
Registered: Jun 2009
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posted July 13, 2009 02:24 AM
hm... that sorta reinforces my observations of the IC/personal planet indicating possible issues with the father. Your moon is conjunct your IC in cancer almost exactly.IP: Logged |
Quinnie
Knowflake Posts: 1206
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 13, 2009 03:10 AM
Hi for me an absent father shows itself in my chart as
Saturn in 12h house
Also maybe sun conjunct Pluto, sextile Neptune?My sisters both have a Saturn influence, my oldest sis is a Cappy, with Mars there too and Saturn in Virgo square Neptune. My younger sister has lots of planets in the 10th house including Venus which is opposed by Neptune. IP: Logged |
lionseye***
Knowflake Posts: 333
From: edmonton, ab. ca
Registered: May 2009
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posted July 13, 2009 03:23 AM
I have a retro Saturn, in the 4th house...and my dad was very emotionally "stiff" shall we say. He tried but he was just so stiff about it. Kisses, hugs, affectionate words.. Also, I have reason to suspect he is not my natural father. The real father is a guy who I met a couple of times, when I was younger than 6, who was very nice to me, but not allowed to be my dad. He was also very uptight, from what I can rememeber about him. This is a big family secret, but I don't care. I know what I know, even if nobody will admit it to me. I saw a pic of my real dad once, and the simularities were uncanny. Same blond hair, same flat face, same ski-slope nose, lol... my mom burned that pic after I saw it because I immediately said "hey, he looks like me"...I was 14 at the time. I've read that Venus represents your opposite sex parent, and mine squares neptune in the 12th, and trines retro Saturn in the 4th. I had a dad figure all my life, and never doubted he was my dad until I heard about Alfred, and saw his picture. Alfred lived in the same apartment as my parents when they first got married, and spent some time with my mom when my parents separated for a few months. I also have an 8th house sun. IP: Logged |
nove731
Knowflake Posts: 303
From:
Registered: Jun 2009
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posted July 13, 2009 03:55 AM
My parents got divorced before I was a year old, and we've never seen or heard from my father since.I have: Saturn in Capricorn (Fourth House) square Sun in Aries (Seventh House)
Uranus in Capricorn (Fourth House) opposed Jupiter in Cancer (Tenth House)
Neptune in Capricorn (Fourth House)
Ascendant Virgo with Chart Ruler (Mercury) In Taurus (Eighth House) opposed Pluto in Scorpio (Second House) IP: Logged |
Cynnared
Knowflake Posts: 1074
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 13, 2009 08:43 AM
It looks like I have absolutely nothing to contribute to this thread because things have already been said so I am choosing not to be a broken record. However yeah, I can see what some folks have put in their posts that show an absent father.... Cynn IP: Logged |
GypseeWind
Knowflake Posts: 6222
From: Love Street, she lingers long on Love Street..
Registered: May 2009
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posted July 13, 2009 09:55 AM
I have the eighth house sun as well.My dad was always 'away' or 'too busy' or 'with his new family' when I was a kid.
I used to cry alot about it, but I guess I just internalized it and moved on. Now that I am gettting older, and he is getting older, he wants to have a relationship, as if we can recapture what is lost. It's kinda weird, but I love him, so I guess I go along with it. IP: Logged |
T
Knowflake Posts: 11616
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 13, 2009 10:09 AM
I was told by an astrologer that it can be found with Sun square Saturn. Both my brother and I have this aspect. Mine is moving away from aspect whereas his is moving towards an exact aspect, so in a way the abandonment/disappearance affected him more negatively.I reconnected with my father later in life while going through my Saturn return (sat in leo in 7th). He died when a set of eclipses were conjuncting&opposing my Saturn. And transiting Pluto in my 12th was squaring my anaretic degree moon in the 8th. And Neptune opposite natal Saturn. My Saturn is also exactly conjunct my Vertex. Hope that helps. IP: Logged |
katatonic
unregistered
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posted July 13, 2009 11:02 AM
bopbop - my father's sun conjuncts my IC exactly. he was very much a part of my life...though he did die when i was 19 i don't consider that to equal an absent father. my parents split when i was 15 but he remained very present despite living 25 miles away. IP: Logged |
Orange
Knowflake Posts: 2049
From: Georgia
Registered: May 2009
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posted July 13, 2009 11:38 AM
Interesting examples in this thread..
IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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