|
Author
|
Topic: ~Fear of Intimacy~
|
Ami Ann
Knowflake Posts: 920
From: US
Registered: Dec 2009
|
posted March 31, 2010 07:08 PM
 
quote:
Awww you always make me smile... thanks ami.
IP: Logged |
Benedict Moon*
Knowflake Posts: 490
From:
Registered: May 2009
|
posted March 31, 2010 07:37 PM
quote:
Explain more BM.Please be as detailed as you can. Do you have an unaspected Venus?
Yes, I have an Unaspected Venus in Gemini (also an air singleton).  Its a learning process but I'm figuring out how it works but basically, its definitely poorly integrated. I always express either too much of it or too little of it in the appropriate situations. It almost always gets overlooked in romantic situations, so I'm almost always dissatisfied.
I think MVM pretty much explained what I meant: the placement of Venus shows *how* we express our love, but not neccesarily love it itself. Heck, I don't even know if it would be correct to associate it with intimacy since its a 'social' planet but that's my personal opinion. Its harder to pinpoint what planet rules 'love' itself, but I'd be more likely to go with the Moon or asteroids like Amor and Valentine than Venus. IP: Logged |
Ami Ann
Knowflake Posts: 920
From: US
Registered: Dec 2009
|
posted March 31, 2010 07:41 PM
BM
When you say"You express either too little or too much of IT. What do you mean by IT?
Sorry if this is dense LOL Ami
IP: Logged |
Nine
Knowflake Posts: 425
From:
Registered: May 2009
|
posted March 31, 2010 08:45 PM
quote:
Moon square Saturn can make a person PRONE to fear of intimacy...
Not true, I have this and I'm not afraid. quote:
(highlighting the word PRONE before someone comes in here and says "NO I HAVE THIS AND IM NOT AFRAID!!!")
Oh. Scratch that.
IP: Logged |
Benedict Moon*
Knowflake Posts: 490
From:
Registered: May 2009
|
posted March 31, 2010 08:59 PM
quote:
When you say"You express either too little or too much of IT. What do you mean by IT?
Sorry if this is dense LOL Ami
The placement itself.
The energy is not moderate in me, I either express too much of it or too little of it. For example, I'm not very social except under certain influences...that's when I become too much so. And my interests and hobbies are many and scattered like a true Gemini Venus. IP: Logged |
Ami Ann
Knowflake Posts: 920
From: US
Registered: Dec 2009
|
posted March 31, 2010 10:09 PM
BM--what I am getting at is "How does the Venus energy feel to you?"
I try to feel the energies. That is how Astrology seems to make sense to me.
Ami
PS If you already explained it and I can;t get it, chalk it up to Mercury Retrograde. Sometimes, I have brain freezes LOL IP: Logged |
Sanchenuss
Knowflake Posts: 465
From: Clinton, SC USA
Registered: Nov 2009
|
posted April 01, 2010 12:05 AM
Why would someone be afraid of intimacy? My goal is to give myself completely to Lauren. To totally surrender to the magical idea that we will meet someday and fall in love. If this fails and she rejects me then I will fall in love with the pain that it causes. You can even turn pain and failure into a lover, you see. Whenever you cry from heartbreak let your tears quench your thirst.IP: Logged |
amowls*
Knowflake Posts: 1070
From: richmond va
Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted April 01, 2010 12:48 AM
Duke, moon square saturn can make the person cold because they want to keep everyone at a distance so they wont get hurt. The closer someone is to you, the easier it is for them to hurt you. Coldness is a symptom, not the cause.IP: Logged |
Diablo
Knowflake Posts: 284
From: Melbourne, Australia
Registered: May 2009
|
posted April 01, 2010 01:01 AM
Ami: anytime sweetheart, you know i'm always happy to share experiences that may help someone understand their own Hope your having a gorgeous day, hun xoxoDuke: "diablo, i have a fifth house sun as well along with a moon in leo.. something that may be good for you to keep in mind is that any romantic alliances that you build will personally affect you so it'd be wise to keep that in mind before getting involved." Lol, well my 5th house is empty natally and as for your advice, i could not agree more. Its unfortunate its taken me 25yrs and a lot of heartbreak to get it, but i have come to a point in my life where the only sex i can have is the type where you really do connect and share and explore intimacy so that it goes beyond mutual masturbation. And I'm quite proud of myself. I promised myself this at New Years and despite sleeping with someone i had a deep connection with and it not working out (it did happen during Mars Rx though), i have kept true to my word In the last 5 days i have told every guy from the past who has called me for something to EFF OFF and telling them exactly what was on my mind and how i felt and how they hurt me from thinking that i was just interested in sex. Also, i put a restraining order against my abusive ex, finally. The magistrate was asking me why i didn't do this 6 years ago when we were together.
For a Libra Moon, who wants to keep the peace..this is a BIG step and I'm not afraid anymore. IP: Logged |
Lonake
Knowflake Posts: 972
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted April 01, 2010 01:02 AM
I have fear of commitment, somewhat related to this.
And completely chalk it up astrologically to my Capricorn/Aquarius.
Funny thing is being in relationships with those signs makes me feel more comfy and OK with it since we're in the same boat, so together we're *not afraid*  IP: Logged |
The Duke
Knowflake Posts: 212
From:
Registered: Nov 2009
|
posted April 01, 2010 01:13 AM
amowls - hmmm... i kinda agree but i dont know if they seek to not want to get hurt.. i think it's more like not wanting to get involved in anything frivolous. i don't think they'll shy away from emotional confrontations or relationships on the other hand, i think they seek it out a bit more but in the process end up hurting themselves so they close off unless they feel they've found someone whom they can feel emotionally stable with. i don't think they're afraid to take the risk so long as they know that it'll prove to be fruitful.diablo - totally understandable! and i think i know what u mean.. actually, i do know what you mean. i'd hate to turn around and slap saturn in the face but during it's transit through virgo, it was moving over my sun and south node in said fifth house.. definitely helped me mature a lot but most importantly, it's how i realized how tied in my actual person is when i get involved romantically.. IP: Logged |
glamgem25
Knowflake Posts: 354
From: Texas
Registered: May 2009
|
posted April 01, 2010 01:28 AM
Lonake...but maybe you're both not afraid cause you're not actually going "there" if you are both like that in the relationship!! lol Just staying on shore so to speak! IP: Logged |
Diablo
Knowflake Posts: 284
From: Melbourne, Australia
Registered: May 2009
|
posted April 01, 2010 01:28 AM
In a more broader sense, its one of those things that comes with age, maturity and experience..definitely. IP: Logged |
Lonake
Knowflake Posts: 972
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted April 01, 2010 01:37 AM
Oh no we do go there, and it's pretty special cos we both know we wouldn't go there with anyone else. It's really surprising actually. To both of us. You have to be dominated by Saturn to understand. It's actually hard to explain.
We look at each other and we just 'get it' - that's the best part. IP: Logged |
The Duke
Knowflake Posts: 212
From:
Registered: Nov 2009
|
posted April 01, 2010 01:37 AM
maturity and age don't always help.. during the transit, i realized, as with any transit, that you experience some of the lessons through other people, not always your own.. some people have to deal with trauma that hinders their ability to relate on an emotional one-on-one level. as i said, even age at times does not help. it may be beneficial for people who feel they're experiencing those issues to delve into it when and how they can (whenever they feel ready) in order to build emotional longevity in their lives and relationships or some may find themselves trying to figure out what is it that is going on in their lives that they just don't understand at an older age and find it challenging to deal with necessary experience as they try to carry out their daily lives.
IP: Logged |
glamgem25
Knowflake Posts: 354
From: Texas
Registered: May 2009
|
posted April 01, 2010 01:38 AM
well thats definitely why I started this thread...to learn and understand what I don't feel so it's interesting to hear...thanks for sharing!! IP: Logged |
Diablo
Knowflake Posts: 284
From: Melbourne, Australia
Registered: May 2009
|
posted April 01, 2010 01:48 AM
Well, i do have to say that maturity and age do help. Immensely.I was out of home and responsible for myself at 15 and was living the life of a 25yr old (the age i am now), having to think like an adult and being responsible for myself gave me skills that put me far ahead of my peers in terms of social development etc On the other hand, the things that i know now that i gained from 10 years of hard, heartbreaking experiences...if i could go back to my 15yr old self and say, "Girl, no matter what DO NOT believe what any guy says, not all friends are true, that only person you need to love and trust is yourself, etc etc"...well my life would be a helluva lot different now. This is why I'm going to be a good mother to my children and why I'm the best big sister to my 15yr old sister and everyone else in my life. Wisdom comes with age and maturity cos that's when you look back at your life and go, "Ohhh right, NOW i see it for what it was" IP: Logged |
Lonake
Knowflake Posts: 972
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted April 01, 2010 01:59 AM
I just realized I completely glossed over your original Q.
(what a dork)
It's typical with those signs to not feel as much at ease 'up close and personal' because they're good @ keeping others at a distance, and stand apart for their selfish comfort, 'aloof'. And because of that there's a certain method one needs to have to approach these types and I can hardly put it into words but it's definitely not full throttle lol. It's more like 2 steps forward then 1 step back. The big thing is to not -intrude- which can scare us off, to not push, and esp. w.aquarius to not make us feel like 'all exits are blocked', We understand that in giving each other more room we're actually creating the space for more closeness. It's counterintuitive, but on all levels it works.Aspect wise in natals?
Traditionally it's the hard aspects incl conj from Saturn/Uranus to the personal planets. But like everything else in astrology, 1 single aspect will not be accurately reflective of the person. The standard is to have 3 or more astro indicators before you can say that someone has a strong 'tendency' towards any personality trait. The signs would be reflective too, Capricorn and Aquarius, look at house rulers too. Like me, I have my h1 ruler (Sun) square my h7 ruler (Uranus), 2deg34". That right there could be at least 2 chart factors, since you have Sun sq Uranus, h1 and h7 rulers square, and the fact that Uranus is ruler of h7. Add in Uranus being in h5 (conj the cusp) and Sun being in h8 and thats probably another lol. You definitely have to look at everything in total tho like everyone else said. IP: Logged |
glamgem25
Knowflake Posts: 354
From: Texas
Registered: May 2009
|
posted April 01, 2010 02:10 AM
< And because of that there's a certain method one needs to have to approach these types and I can hardly put it into words but it's definitely not full throttle lol. It's more like 2 steps forward then 1 step back. The big thing is to not -intrude- which can scare us off, to not push, and esp. w.aquarius to not make us feel like 'all exits are blocked', We understand that in giving each other more room we're actually creating the space for more closeness. It's counterintuitive, but on all levels it works>This really made me understand it a whole lot more!! Thanks IP: Logged |
Lonake
Knowflake Posts: 972
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted April 01, 2010 02:13 AM
Sure, always happy when my neuroses can help someone out  IP: Logged |
Ami Ann
Knowflake Posts: 920
From: US
Registered: Dec 2009
|
posted April 01, 2010 03:14 AM
You guys are the best. This thread is so good.
There is so much wisdom in these few pages
IP: Logged |
Ami Ann
Knowflake Posts: 920
From: US
Registered: Dec 2009
|
posted April 01, 2010 03:26 AM
Duke
Where is your Eros? It sounds like it may be in Cancer. x o x Ami IP: Logged |
Ami Ann
Knowflake Posts: 920
From: US
Registered: Dec 2009
|
posted April 01, 2010 03:29 AM
quote:
Why would someone be afraid of intimacy? My goal is to give myself completely to Lauren. To totally surrender to the magical idea
that we will meet someday and fall in love. If this fails and she rejects me then I will fall in love with the pain that it causes. You can even turn pain and failure into a lover, you see. Whenever you cry from heartbreak let your tears quench your thirst.
Speaking of wisdom ; we have a great example here.
 IP: Logged |
The Duke
Knowflake Posts: 212
From:
Registered: Nov 2009
|
posted April 01, 2010 03:31 AM
eros is in taurus, actually.. IP: Logged |
Ami Ann
Knowflake Posts: 920
From: US
Registered: Dec 2009
|
posted April 01, 2010 04:00 AM
Duke, I was close. Mine is in Taurus ,too.
What are the majority of your planets in? I would guess Air and then Water but some strong fire ,too.
I would guess most are Cardinal.
IP: Logged |
Lindaland
UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone! 
