posted September 02, 2010 04:45 PM         

Thing is, we love each other a great deal, get along great, are excellent friends, have a good time together, understand one another, are affectionate (hugs, kisses, funny names). Just infrequent sex. And when we do have sex, sometimes it just doesn't work (he's done before i am, or i'm not sufficiently ready and it's never that comfortable).

Are there any classical aspects that I should look out for that might put a damper between two people in the sex department, despite there being good intellectual and emotional chemistry? I feel sometimes like we are platonic friends in the best sense of the word, trying to have a romantic relationship. Help!

posted September 02, 2010 04:52 PM         

My last relationship we had Venus oppostion Mars and we were always.. well.. ya kno

Also have Venus square Mars and it's so intense we cant see each other without having sex... it just never happens!

posted September 02, 2010 05:07 PM         

I didn't have Venus-Mars aspect with my exgf Meghann, but sexual chemistry was off the charts...a lot of passion,intensity.

our Suns aspected each other's Venus/Mars midpoints. My Mars was conjunct her Venus/Uranus midpoint,and her Mars is oppose her Venus/Pluto midpoint.

Her Venus was oppose my South Mars Node and her South Venus Node conjunct my Mars.

There was also her Sun,Mercury,and Mars in my 8th, and my Sun,Mercury,Venus in her 8th

Her Moon-Saturn in Scorpio conjunction was conjunct my Sun in Scorpio too.

but yeah...sexual attraction in couple can exist without Venus-Mars aspects

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No..I am not a Virgo.

posted September 02, 2010 05:08 PM         

Raspberri,

I have seen what you're talking about with clients and the Venus-Mars stuff, and I've experienced it myself. At times Venus-Mars aspects seem to be over-rated but then when they're exact it can be magical. And yes, when other planetary players are involved, that seems to boost their power.

Mochi,

Aspects that can suggest putting a damper on the sexual activity between couples are Venus-Saturn aspects (conjunction and square). Even though it can promote strong trust and committment, it can place some kind of control factor on the relationship or sexual activity getting off the ground.

Mars-Neptune (conjunction, square, opposition) can create platonic friends. Neptune can wash out Mars' fire.

Mars-Saturn stressful aspects. Saturn can scare Mars, freeze Mars, dry Mars out or this can suggest that timing if off most of the time with sexual activity.

These are just some suggestions. But you must also consider each person's chart individually. You might have some of the strongest sexiest aspects in the synastry comparison, but if one person has a very stressed out sexual profile individually, no amount of great synastry is going to change that. The individual has to get help and do the work themselves.

posted September 02, 2010 06:34 PM         

You are earth/water and he is air/fire. It totally fits what you described re: your wants. I knew I would find that out.

ETA; It probably has more to do with natal aspects than comp aspects, because we are talking about different wants, individually.

quote:

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And when we do have sex, sometimes it just doesn't work (he's done before i am, or i'm not sufficiently ready and it's never that comfortable).

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posted September 02, 2010 07:08 PM         

quote:

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Sometimes that puts a damper on sex(mars) because saturn is dampening, like a wet blanket.

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Hmm... not so sure about that. My ex's Saturn was smack on my Mars and we did it ALL THE TIME.

Another ex (Vertex Boy) has his Saturn conjunct my Mars by 2 degrees and we can't keep our hands off each other.

I think one should look at the Composite chart. That could be an indicator.

posted September 02, 2010 07:44 PM         

I love the astrological nicknames we all sometimes give our men (boys) on this site. "Vertex Boy" is an excellent example. It's like a super hero name. I sooooo do that all the time.

posted September 02, 2010 08:12 PM         

I have the Saturn square Venus with someone, which we usually try to stay away from each other or we end up just ripping each others clothes off. BUT we also have Mars (him) square Venus (me) and Uranus (him) conj Venus (me)... so it depends on more than just one aspect...

posted September 02, 2010 08:42 PM         

We also have Sun-Mars oppositions and my BML exactly conjunct his Sun, his Mars is square my Venus/Neptune conjunction and his Moon is sextile my Mars... and his Pluto is conjunct my ASC.

I think in the composite chart, you can see how these relationships play out more. Synastry is just your energies interacting, but the composite is more what the relationship will be actually be, and I notice in these connections where sex is not a big factor, there are usually lots of trines and sextiles in the composite chart, lots of warm aspects to the Moon and Venus and Sun, and I think specifically conjunctions, trines & sextiles between Venus and Neptune create an idealized union between two people that, unless there are other sexual aspects in the composite, will keep things "pure" and platonic.

I do think that in synastry and the composite, there needs to be some tension, some friction in order to create that primal, sexual interaction.

Mochi, do you want to post your composite so we can have a look? Your synastry suggests that you guys should have a great sex life together so its kind of putting a damper on my faith in Astrology, hahahahaha!!! I have to see if my theory holds true for you.

posted September 02, 2010 09:02 PM         

quote:

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Hmm... not so sure about that. My ex's Saturn was smack on my Mars and we did it ALL THE TIME.

Another ex (Vertex Boy) has his Saturn conjunct my Mars by 2 degrees and we can't keep our hands off each other.

I think one should look at the Composite chart. That could be an indicator.

I've only had sex with one person where our styles didn't mesh and in our composite, Mars is unaspected. In the composite of me and Vertex Boy, the Sun and Mars are exactly conjunct (with Venus 2 degrees away). In the composite of my ex, the Sun and Venus are both at 5 Pisces and Mars at 2 Pisces.

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I had the BEST sex with comp unaspected mars with someone.

I agree we need to see the comp.

posted September 02, 2010 11:15 PM         

here is our composite chart. our 9th house is pretty loaded...and we have certainly learned a lot from one another. jupiter in the 7th...it has been a good, positive, beneficial relationship for us both.

posted September 02, 2010 11:54 PM         

Uploaded with ImageShack.us

So whatevers in there, is what ya need!
Ok, it's what I needed!
Anyway, I cannot even be in the same room with this person, some three years later.
The intensity is the same as it was from the beginning.

posted September 02, 2010 11:57 PM         

I would imagine there was more sexual energy in the chart since Mars is conjunct the Sun... but perhaps the Uranus opposition is making you both out of sync with one another? Also, Mercury is a part of the stellium in the 9th house and the grand trine is in Air... its a very cerebral chart, overwhelmingly cerebral with the one aspect that I can see that would lead to sexual chemistry being afflicted by Uranus. and not many conflicting energies, which obviously can be the undoing of a connection, but which I feel also add spark. It's a fine balance, but one that I think is necessary for strong sexual chemistry.

Also, there is that aspect I mentioned, Neptune opposing Venus, that tends to make for idealistic, pure, beautiful platonic connections...

I would be interested in what others can see in this chart!

posted September 03, 2010 12:17 AM         

I am very open sexually and desirous of sex and consider it a crucial element and a total dealbreaker in a close romantic relationship. The aspects in my chart that I feel are primarily responsible for this are my Sun/Mars conjunction in the 5th House/Aquarius which is opposed Jupiter in the 11th/Leo. I also have a 1st house Pluto which exactly sextiles Venus/Neptune in the 3rd.

The best sex I ever had recently was with Mr. Leo I am currently talking about, who I recently found out my BML is exactly conjunct his Sun and with whom I have many oppositions and squares including Mars/Venus. Where is BML in your charts? i also strongly suspect Mr Leo has a 5th house Mars, like me. I dont have his birth time, but he's certainly NOT a Sag Moon... Scorpio Moon fits perfectly, and he could only be born during 3 hours of his birthday to have a Scorp Moon.. 1.5 of those give him a 5th house Mars and give us Leo Rising in our composite (as opposed to Cancer, which doesnt fit as perfectly)... So I'm pretty sure I'm right about his 5th house Mars!

I think a 5th house Mars makes one very frisky, sexually motivated and uninhibited. Sex is like a sport, its fun, you have few hang ups. You thoroughly enjoy it.

The best sex I ever had not so recently was with a Cancer Sun, Leo rising (my Sun/Mars Jupiter ran right along his ASC/DC) and he definitely had Mars in the 5th! His Sun was opposed my Moon and exactly conjunct my Lust asteroid and also, interestingly, my Juno was exact on his Moon. We're still friends and I have a lot of respect for him, he's a good guy. He's engaged to be married next year. That lady he's marrying is a very lucky girl!!! He's very well-endowed and amazing in bed, absolutely amazing... and a really nice genuine person too. And he's rich!!! He has his quirks, sure... like being kind of a loud mouth and obnoxious with his political views, heheh... and he watches too much TV and he's not into conversation about things that are not politics... thats why I didn't want to take things further, lol. But wow, is he great in bed. Phew.

I've only slept with Mr. Leo a handful of times, but he reminds me of Mr Cancer with Leo rising... similar chemistry, well-endowed, uninhibited... except Mr. Leo is MUCH MORE handsome and also... artistic, articulate, clever... hehehe.