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Author
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Topic: Cancer/Aquarius relationships and why they do(n't) work.
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curbro
Knowflake Posts: 230
From: Jupiter
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted April 08, 2011 07:16 PM
  
I have a Cancer Ascendant and spent two years with an Aquarius guy. He and I were very close but, as with any water/air relationship, there were problems. In the two years we were together I analyzed many Cancer/Aquarius relationships and here is what I found.
Cancer, as a water sign, is very emotional. For some reason, I always picture a menopausal woman bursting in to tears for no reason. I know every Cancer is not like this (don't write me bad letters) because, as I said earlier, my Ascendant is Cancer. Very approachable, most Cancers are able to pick up on someone's feelings very quickly but (unlike us poor Pisces folks) maintain a clear separation between their feelings and the person they're around. This wall is absolutely NOT total as a Cancer person will, after a short amount of time, begin to emulate small things about who they're speaking with such as accents, reactionary impulses, etc. One failing we poor Cancers have is an unfortunate gullibility. I've noticed that I and many Cancers are inherently shy when meeting new people. Most prefer one on one contact and even like to enter a room from the side or the back choosing not to face a situation head-on lest they be overwhelmed with the situation. Once they've overcome this shyness and decided trust someone, however, it's a blind and unwavering devotion. Goodbye objectivity. It is for this reason many well-meaning Cancer people who "just want to believe the best in people" are hurt, betrayed, and taken advantage of.
Next we have Mr. Aquarius. Aquarius people are comfortable with thoughts and many (once again, not all) end up taking sleep aids or using some form of depressant to sleep at night complaining that their mind is constantly running. These people rationalize everything and, as was the case with my ex, have trouble distinguishing a thought from a feeling (he actually believed that there was no difference between the two.). Aquarius has an almost infallible ability to determine lies from the truth and many are even capable of spotting a deception the moment someone utters it in their presence. Truth, to an Aquarius, is like an extension of their arm as they have an inborn ability to use it to their advantage. Because of this and the fact that everyone lies at least once in their life, an unbalanced water-bearer is even capable of manipulating the truth by providing enough truthful information to cause someone to draw a conclusion other than the truth (he so often said, it's all about making somebody THINK something). As a water sign, Aquarius is all about thoughts and mental capacity constantly trying to figure out what someone is thinking and to determine that person's motivations for an action. Claiming to be the timeless rebel, Aquarius usually heads for shock value or does something differently just for its sake and many accomplish more with this offbeat march to a different drummer. Don't let this fool you, though. During the two years with my Aquarius man, I realized they actually care very much about their public image. They're constantly worried about the big picture and how they're perceived within it. From society to the weather, anything affecting the general populous is their domain. Sure, they display the emotions that are socially acceptable. Rationalizing their response to a set of circumstances leads them to reasonable conclusions on how they should respond to a situation and they have no problem in clear cut situations. Life, of course, isn't always so clear cut and, in situations where the answer isn't so obvious, they often are left with unresolved emotions which they're unable to find any socially acceptable way to express.
And now, finally, for the juxtaposition of these two very different people. I, of course, have another theory (imagine that). Because Cancer is so sensitive, they are able to pick up on the emotional dregs left over from Aquarius' not-so-seamless situations and provide an outlet for this repressed emotion. Aquarius, as prideful Leo's polarity, is by nature always respectful. Grateful for this, the Aquarian will often take an interest in this Cancer person who can feel what he can't understand and, upon closer inspection, sees the well-meaning nature of Cancer. Once they realize Cancer is trusting and optimistic to a fault, the wheels begin to turn and they see the Cancer's potential to be misused, fooled, and taken advantage of. This, decides Aquarius, is how I can repay this person. Thus, Cancer now has a solution to their blind optimism and a steady rock to provide the truth in an overwhelming emotional situation (as I'm sure you Cancer Suns have NEVER had to deal with -_^). My theory is this: Aquarius sees the truth but can't feel and Cancer feels everything but can't see the truth. They complete one another. I'd love to hear how you agree/disagree, hear from others who have seen/been in relationships such as this, and find out whether they've worked or not.
Finally, as I probably haven't used enough parenthesis in this post, (())(())(())(()).
That is all.
IP: Logged |
juniperb
Moderator Posts: 1710
From: Blue Star Kachina
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 08, 2011 07:33 PM
quote:
Aquarius sees the truth but can't feel and Cancer feels everything but can't see the truth. They complete one another. I'd love to hear how you agree/disagree, hear from others who have seen/been in relationships such as this, and find out whether they've worked or not.
Indeed a fine balancing relationship. I`ve {aqua} been with my Cancer 16 yrs. It has been the most interesting journey of my life . Scorp and Cancer for children so I`m awash in emotion  When it overwhelms, I go garden. Good physical activity settles this aqua`s nerves... of course a glass of fine wine works well too. ------------------
~The Earth Laughs In Flowers~
... Emerson IP: Logged |
curbro
Knowflake Posts: 230
From: Jupiter
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted April 08, 2011 07:36 PM
Lol. My Cancer mother has been with my Aquarius father for almost 50 years. They had a Gemini/Cancer cusper and a Capricorn with a Cancer moon. Both were much older than my sister and I who were adopted. I'm a Pisces and my sister is a Scorpio. My poor father has been our rock for many many years. IP: Logged |
letram
Knowflake Posts: 1085
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 08, 2011 07:40 PM
interesting read, especially about aquarius mental-emotional lack of clarity between them.i relate to that and im a leo sun, but uranus trine sun, uranus square venus. IP: Logged |
Dinobleue9
Knowflake Posts: 31
From: Los Angeles, CA
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted April 08, 2011 08:01 PM
Interesting...I'm an Aquarius being pursued by a Cancer man as of late. Despite my Cancer Moon and ASC, I have never been interested in Cancer men! We went on a date last night, and I genuinely think he's a very interesting cool guy- but there is zero sexual attraction on my part. IP: Logged |
amowls**
Knowflake Posts: 259
From:
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted April 08, 2011 08:02 PM
Im an Aqua dating a Cancer (so far so good). I find that I'm more of a grumperpuss than he is tbh. I also wouldn't describe him as menopausal. Hehas a Virgo Moon so is pretty logical about emotions anyway.As far as the shock value thing, the goal isn't to shock people for the sake of it, but to hopefully "teach lessons" (for a lack of a better phrase). Feelings are thoughts to us. It's not any more wrong to say that emotions and thoughts are separate. Biologically the chemocals in our brain form our thoughts and emotions. IP: Logged |
Dinobleue9
Knowflake Posts: 31
From: Los Angeles, CA
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted April 08, 2011 08:13 PM
amowls are we dating the same guy?? He also has a Virgo Moon! LolIP: Logged |
letram
Knowflake Posts: 1085
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 08, 2011 08:14 PM
i see something i didnt now,it makes sense to me in my own personal theory, Cancer might feel a connection to aquarius because aquarius is like co ruled by saturn, (think capricorn now, the opposite sign of cancer, the sign cancer energy will find attractive qualities in.) they are very similar in some ways.
this in flip, explains the odd but known to work relationship between Capricorn and Leo, (leo being the younger cancer).
thanks for this!
but in my personal theory aquarius is the younger capricorn. IP: Logged |
curbro
Knowflake Posts: 230
From: Jupiter
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted April 08, 2011 08:16 PM
quote:
Originally posted by amowls**:
Im an Aqua dating a Cancer (so far so good). I find that I'm more of a grumperpuss than he is tbh. I also wouldn't describe him as menopausal. Hehas a Virgo Moon so is pretty logical about emotions anyway.As far as the shock value thing, the goal isn't to shock people for the sake of it, but to hopefully "teach lessons" (for a lack of a better phrase). Feelings are thoughts to us. It's not any more wrong to say that emotions and thoughts are separate. Biologically the chemocals in our brain form our thoughts and emotions.
While I respect your opinion on this, amowls, I'm afraid I have to disagree here. Emotions are a physical reaction to a thought or an idea. A situation occurs where circumstances are unfair. You believe it is unfair but you can feel okay with it possibly because neither person got a raw deal. Also, if they're the same thing, then why work so hard to keep them separate? Finally, if they're the same thing, then why is there two different words for them in every single language? IP: Logged |
curbro
Knowflake Posts: 230
From: Jupiter
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted April 08, 2011 08:17 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Dinobleue9:
Interesting...I'm an Aquarius being pursued by a Cancer man as of late. Despite my Cancer Moon and ASC, I have never been interested in Cancer men! We went on a date last night, and I genuinely think he's a very interesting cool guy- but there is zero sexual attraction on my part.
I can understand this simply because you have the missing piece of the puzzle inside you. IP: Logged |
Lonake
Moderator Posts: 3984
From: U.S.
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 08, 2011 08:18 PM
The attraction is due to the inconjunct. It makes you feel fascinated, like a science project.IP: Logged |
curbro
Knowflake Posts: 230
From: Jupiter
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted April 08, 2011 08:19 PM
quote:
Originally posted by letram:
i see something i didnt now,it makes sense to me in my own personal theory, Cancer might feel a connection to aquarius because aquarius is like co ruled by saturn, (think capricorn now, the opposite sign of cancer, the sign cancer energy will find attractive qualities in.) they are very similar in some ways.
this in flip, explains the odd but known to work relationship between Capricorn and Leo, (leo being the younger cancer).
thanks for this!
but in my personal theory aquarius is the younger capricorn.
I do remember your theory, letram, and found it quite interesting. I'm still a bit puzzled by the relative age you assign to the signs but you've actually just given me a bit of insight as to why this pattern exists. Thank you very very much. I owe this epiphany to you, sir/madam. : ) IP: Logged |
curbro
Knowflake Posts: 230
From: Jupiter
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted April 08, 2011 08:20 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Dinobleue9:
amowls are we dating the same guy?? He also has a Virgo Moon! Lol
I LOVE Virgo Moons. I love to help people feel. I should, though, as a Pisces with Cancer rising. Lol. IP: Logged |
curbro
Knowflake Posts: 230
From: Jupiter
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted April 08, 2011 08:21 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Lonake:
The attraction is due to the inconjunct. It makes you feel fascinated, like a science project.
You just described my ex and I exactly. I LOVE that feeling. My mind constantly works. : D IP: Logged |
Lonake
Moderator Posts: 3984
From: U.S.
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 08, 2011 08:24 PM
Yea, who knew, I had a great relationship with a guy who had Moon/Venus in Gemini incojunct my Moon/Venus in Capricorn. Who would've thought. We're both cold buggers but together it worked.IP: Logged |
letram
Knowflake Posts: 1085
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 08, 2011 08:25 PM
lonake, i personally by experience and understanding of astrology see that attraction energy more so between oppositions that quincunxs.i'd associate quincunx with curiosity at best.
IP: Logged |
Dinobleue9
Knowflake Posts: 31
From: Los Angeles, CA
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted April 08, 2011 08:26 PM
I don't think there can be fascination on my part without sexual attraction...*sigh*IP: Logged |
curbro
Knowflake Posts: 230
From: Jupiter
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted April 08, 2011 08:27 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Dinobleue9:
I don't think there can be fascination on my part without sexual attraction...*sigh*
Lol. I'm with you there, Dino. It sounds like you've already made your decision about this prospect. IP: Logged |
Dinobleue9
Knowflake Posts: 31
From: Los Angeles, CA
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted April 08, 2011 08:33 PM
Yes, I guess I did...lol good point. Well I gave him a chance. I went out with him and felt it out, but the only water sign I can do is Scorpio...they have that Mars energy, and they square my 8H Sun. And they fall into my 5th house. I love them. I feel bad though because I like him as a person, and I can feel his attraction to me is very strong for whatever reason- but it's only one-sided! Ugh! IP: Logged |
Dinobleue9
Knowflake Posts: 31
From: Los Angeles, CA
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted April 08, 2011 08:34 PM
Double postIP: Logged |
juniperb
Moderator Posts: 1710
From: Blue Star Kachina
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 08, 2011 09:20 PM
I have a Virgo moon as well. School marmish so I`ve heard ------------------
~The Earth Laughs In Flowers~
... Emerson IP: Logged |
JohnFKennedy
Knowflake Posts: 239
From: US
Registered: Aug 2009
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posted April 08, 2011 10:26 PM
Hmmmm I'm an Aquarius moon gal and I've been courting a Cancer moon boy for a while now. Our ascendants/Suns/Venus+Mars are trine, but I really do feel like out of all those components, compatible moons are REALLY important, and there's something about an Aquarius/Cancer combination that just doesn't quite jive properly. IP: Logged |
freebrainstorms
Knowflake Posts: 83
From:
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted April 08, 2011 10:51 PM
amowls**
We've been through this before, but we are exactly the same person. I completely understood and agree with what you said.
It's hard for some people to understand the aqua way hehe (i was going finish it but i kind of like it as "the aqua way)."Aquarius sees the truth but can't feel and Cancer feels everything but can't see the truth. " amen but i don't think that makes them complete each other, i think that makes them good for each other psychologically but they'll infuriate each other at the same time because they'll never completely connect on the same plane. IP: Logged |
curbro
Knowflake Posts: 230
From: Jupiter
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted April 08, 2011 10:59 PM
quote:
Originally posted by freebrainstorms:
"Aquarius sees the truth but can't feel and Cancer feels everything but can't see the truth. " amen but i don't think that makes them complete each other, i think that makes them good for each other psychologically but they'll infuriate each other at the same time because they'll never completely connect on the same plane.
That was the problem between my ex and I. We just never quite got it. I can definitely tell it's an inconjunct now and I have a totally new understanding of the aspect. This thread has already taught me so much. IP: Logged |
curbro
Knowflake Posts: 230
From: Jupiter
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted April 08, 2011 11:05 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Dinobleue9:
Yes, I guess I did...lol good point. Well I gave him a chance. I went out with him and felt it out, but the only water sign I can do is Scorpio...they have that Mars energy, and they square my 8H Sun. And they fall into my 5th house. I love them. I feel bad though because I like him as a person, and I can feel his attraction to me is very strong for whatever reason- but it's only one-sided! Ugh!
Scorpio is also in my fifth house but my Sun sits in the tenth. I'm so drawn to them. I guess that means you're a Cancer Ascendant, too, then? IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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