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Author
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Topic: Don't judge - need help understanding this dude please!
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Jounia
Knowflake Posts: 598
From: United Kingdom
Registered: May 2011
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posted November 23, 2011 03:47 PM
  
quote:
Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
I'm not here to judge. I just want to dissect the situation and understand the facts. I am a Capricorn and I am used to thinking logically.You are married. He is married. You work together and both of you have lust for each other. He grabbed you and kissed you. You both want a romp in the hay for one evening. He wants, and then he doesn't want, but he nevertheless wants. You just want, period. Am I correct thus far?
Correct. quote:
Originally posted by stillatlarge:
He's afraid of being fired for sexual harassment. Happens every day in even innocent situations. Duhhh...
No, I'm pretty certain he trusts me and understands that I'm not the type of person to file such a complaint. IP: Logged |
Jounia
Knowflake Posts: 598
From: United Kingdom
Registered: May 2011
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posted November 23, 2011 03:53 PM
quote:
Originally posted by amelia28:
OK honey....this is how I feel most guys are when it comes to cheating. yes some guys leave their wifes for who they are cheating with but most DONT. He doesn't feel guilty about cheating but he finds that with you he surprisingly does and is stepping back as a result bc your connection is really intense so it can actually put his relationship at risk. You get what I am saying? most guys that cheat do it but with no intention of ever leaving their wife so you are threatening this inside of him so he feels scared and is backing up. Guys tend to take commitments seriously when they make one even more so than women so them cheating is justified in their head like this is just fun and sex but with you it probably feels more than that so he is backing up.
I understand that. Wow, never thought of it that way before... Let me clarify this. I'm not prepared to leave my husband. I am happy with him (although my sex drive is off the charts and his isn't). I think Cappy knows I'm not willing to leave.
I don't want cappy to leave his wife, pretty sure he knows that. I'm not looking to just cheat with the first guy that comes along. I cannot explain to you how strong the sexual chemistry between me and cappy is. It's stronger than me. I've not felt it like that before and it's messing with me head! I cannot help the way I feel. I simply just have to have him. I wish I didn't feel that way but I do. Its inexplicable. I think the sex would be out of this world and I want to experience that. Can't explain it. IP: Logged |
crabbypatty
Knowflake Posts: 665
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 23, 2011 03:54 PM
If he is a Cappie, he is probably practical and realistic. He knows if he has the one night of passion, some dire consequencescan result, e.g., you get pregnant and go after him for child support and in the process bust up his marriage; you flip out later and call the wife to say he cheated on her with you; you send him emails about your lust for him and the wife finds them while snooping. All of these would qualify as complications. And I have been there, so I know. IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 4060
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted November 23, 2011 04:20 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Jounia:
I am happy with him (although my sex drive is off the charts and his isn't).
Why is it so? Is it psychological or is it physiological? I know I would go bonkers. One day without it and I'm already all over my wife, and I'm no spring chicken. IP: Logged |
amelia28
Knowflake Posts: 2423
From:
Registered: Aug 2011
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posted November 23, 2011 04:20 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Jounia:
I understand that. Wow, never thought of it that way before...Let me clarify this. I'm not prepared to leave my husband. I am happy with him (although my sex drive is off the charts and his isn't). I think Cappy knows I'm not willing to leave.
I don't want cappy to leave his wife, pretty sure he knows that. I'm not looking to just cheat with the first guy that comes along. I cannot explain to you how strong the sexual chemistry between me and cappy is. It's stronger than me. I've not felt it like that before and it's messing with me head! I cannot help the way I feel. I simply just have to have him. I wish I didn't feel that way but I do. Its inexplicable. I think the sex would be out of this world and I want to experience that. Can't explain it.
Jounia you and me are in similar situations. I am married but have a higher sex drive than husband and love him and don't plan to leave him and have an cap in sidereal version friend I have chemistry of the charts with. I completely understand what you are going through. I Have only cheated with this guy and I am picky about this kind of thing. I Need even an affair to be meaningful so is not like I am going around having flings left and right.
IP: Logged |
Jounia
Knowflake Posts: 598
From: United Kingdom
Registered: May 2011
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posted November 23, 2011 04:22 PM
quote:
Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
Why is it so? Is it psychological or is it physiological?
Don't know really. Probably more psychological because I simply cannot function mentally if I haven't been satisfied enough in that department. IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 4060
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted November 23, 2011 04:25 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Jounia:
Don't know really. Probably more psychological because I simply cannot function mentally if I haven't been satisfied enough in that department.
I was talking about your husband. I know I wouldn't function properly if I didn't have it daily in some way, and twice daily on weekends. IP: Logged |
Jounia
Knowflake Posts: 598
From: United Kingdom
Registered: May 2011
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posted November 23, 2011 04:25 PM
quote:
Originally posted by amelia28:
Jounia you and me are in similar situations. I am married but have a higher sex drive than husband and love him and don't plan to leave him and have an aqua friend I have chemistry of the charts with. I completely understand what you are going through. I Have only cheated with this guy and I am picky about this kind of thing. I Need even an affair to be meaningful so is not like I am going around having flings left and right.
Thank you so much for this; it means a lot to know I'm not alone! I'm picky too - this guy does actually appeal to me in more ways than just sex BUT I can honestly say I'm not falling for him. IP: Logged |
Jounia
Knowflake Posts: 598
From: United Kingdom
Registered: May 2011
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posted November 23, 2011 04:26 PM
quote:
Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
I was talking about your husband. I know I wouldn't function properly if I didn't have it daily in some way, and twice daily on weekends.
lol sorry  beats me why. I can't understand it at all. He's satisfied with 3 times a week, which is like hell for me.  IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 4060
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted November 23, 2011 04:27 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Jounia:
lol sorry beats me why. I can't understand it at all. He's satisfied with 3 times a week, which is like hell for me.
Have you told him that? IP: Logged |
Jounia
Knowflake Posts: 598
From: United Kingdom
Registered: May 2011
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posted November 23, 2011 04:28 PM
quote:
Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
Have you told him that?
of course. a million times..... for the past 3 years... IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 4060
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted November 23, 2011 04:31 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Jounia:
of course. a million times..... for the past 3 years...
And so there is a logical explanation: (1) his body can't handle that (which I doubt), (2) he has a libido issue, which can bemedically rectified , (3) he has an anatomical issue, which I doubt because he manages three times a week anyway, (4) he has a busy career and is stressed, which you can help fix, or (5) he's selfish, in which case he's just an a$$hole, (6) he's getting it somewhere else, or (7) remote possibility of "other reasons." Its one of those. IP: Logged |
amelia28
Knowflake Posts: 2423
From:
Registered: Aug 2011
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posted November 23, 2011 04:34 PM
I have also been telling my husband since the beginning of our relationship that I need it more than once a week or once every two weeks. After over 4 years of been faithful I simply reached my limit on this discrepancy in our sexual drives!!!!Love him but got tired of repressing my sexuality! IP: Logged |
Jounia
Knowflake Posts: 598
From: United Kingdom
Registered: May 2011
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posted November 23, 2011 04:35 PM
quote:
Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
And so there is a logical explanation: (1) his body can't handle that (which I doubt), (2) he has a libido issue, which can bemedically rectified , (3) he has an anatomical issue, which I doubt because he manages three times a week anyway, (4) he has a busy career and is stressed, which you can help fix, or (5) he's selfish, in which case he's just an a$$hole, (6) he's getting it somewhere else, or (7) remote possibility of "other reasons."Its one of those.
I'd say it's money troubles. He has moon in cap in the 2nd house. I'm working on it. But even if this improved with my husband, it doesn't take away the chemistry between me and cappy..... IP: Logged |
amelia28
Knowflake Posts: 2423
From:
Registered: Aug 2011
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posted November 23, 2011 04:36 PM
I even have been telling him forever that I will eventually end up cheating if this didn't change in our relationship. I made it a point to warn him and be honest.IP: Logged |
Jounia
Knowflake Posts: 598
From: United Kingdom
Registered: May 2011
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posted November 23, 2011 04:36 PM
quote:
Originally posted by amelia28:
I have also been telling my husband since the beginning of our relationship that I need it more than once a week or once every two weeks. After over 4 years of been faithful I simply reached my limit on this discrepancy in our sexual drives!!!!Love him but got tired of repressing my sexuality!
Exactly. And I bet you didn't go looking elsewhere - you simply found this guy with whom you feel sexual chemistry and couldn't resist.... just like me. I feel ya! IP: Logged |
Jounia
Knowflake Posts: 598
From: United Kingdom
Registered: May 2011
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posted November 23, 2011 04:38 PM
quote:
Originally posted by amelia28:
I even have been telling him forever that I will eventually end up cheating if this didn't change in our relationship. I made it a point to warn him and be honest.
Me too. I said it wasn't a threat, but I warned him that I may not be able to help myself. IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 4060
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted November 23, 2011 04:38 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Jounia:
I'd say it's money troubles. He has moon in cap in the 2nd house. I'm working on it. But even if this improved with my husband, it doesn't take away the chemistry between me and cappy.....
Is he broke (which I don't see) or is his drive to success and reward so great that he is willing to compromise his home life? I'm a Cappy in 10 (career and success) and Taurus in 2 (money) and everything about me is just money-faced walking dollar bills. I still make time to please my wife. IP: Logged |
Jounia
Knowflake Posts: 598
From: United Kingdom
Registered: May 2011
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posted November 23, 2011 04:40 PM
quote:
Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
Is he broke (which I don't see) or is his drive to success and reward so great that he is willing to compromise his home life?I'm a Cappy in 10 (career and success) and Taurus in 2 (money) and everything about me is just money-faced walking dollar bills. I still make time to please my wife.
Yourstruly, I don't have the anwsers I'm afraid. I really don't want to go in to too much detail about my hubby and I - I feel bad enough as it is. I appreciate your help though. IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 4060
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted November 23, 2011 04:42 PM
Jounia,So back to you. This guy at the office may not have the same needs that you do, certainly not to the extent that you do. So, his equivocation is at the expense of your pain. Do you see your dilemma? IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 4060
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted November 23, 2011 04:44 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Jounia:
Yourstruly, I don't have the anwsers I'm afraid. I really don't want to go in to too much detail about my hubby and I - I feel bad enough as it is. I appreciate your help though.
I'm here to help and its my pleasure. Its not my place to pass judgment because I will myself be judged one day. I am fundamentally sinful and I struggle with my own internal issues on a daily basis. So, I'm not some pious jerk-off with a holier-than-thou mentality. I'm still here to help emotionally. Sorry I cannot help astrologically because I don't have such capabilities or knowledge. IP: Logged |
Jounia
Knowflake Posts: 598
From: United Kingdom
Registered: May 2011
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posted November 23, 2011 04:46 PM
quote:
Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
I'm here to help and its my pleasure. Its not my place to pass judgment because I will myself be judged one day. I am fundamentally sinful and I struggle with my own internal issues on a daily basis. So, I'm not some pious jerk-off with a holier-than-thou mentality. I'm still here to help emotionally.
I know Thank you.
So, back to cappy......  IP: Logged |
amelia28
Knowflake Posts: 2423
From:
Registered: Aug 2011
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posted November 23, 2011 04:48 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Jounia:
Me too. I said it wasn't a threat, but I warned him that I may not be able to help myself.
Its nice to know I am not alone in this struggle. All this time I have been feeling kind of lonely with this issue and misunderstood so thanks for sharing your story a little with me.
IP: Logged |
Betty Boop
Knowflake Posts: 3377
From: Betty Boop Land
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted November 23, 2011 05:12 PM
I don't think this is a one-night synastry.
You have some similarities in synastry with my parents (my mum and step dad) who have been together for over a decade. I doubt this is a relationship that will simply fizzle out - completely regardless of whether or not you have sex.
When you think about it - he is already in your life on a permanent - or - semi-permanent basis, because you work together.
When fate brings people into a situation that is ongoing and neither of them can get out of it -- then it is clearly not the same as a "one night stand". If this was meant to be a one night stand.. you would've met under different circumstances. Your mutual Saturns are involved in a kite-aspect - with Venus/Mars in the mix. This is a sign for a very long-lasting love affair imo But obviously I'm not psychic!! IP: Logged |
maira
Knowflake Posts: 1026
From:
Registered: Jun 2009
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posted November 23, 2011 05:55 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Jounia:
I'd say it's money troubles. He has moon in cap in the 2nd house. I'm working on it. But even if this improved with my husband, it doesn't take away the chemistry between me and cappy.....
I'm guessing hubby has placements in Aqua, Mars most likely... they have sex in their heads and it's fine for them. As for Cap, from the chart, he is prone to cheating just for thrills. But the moon is also in the 8th, so he feels emotionally rewarded by sex. He's probably just afraid that you will fall for him or that he'll fall for you and doesn't want that. Capricorns and Cancers are known for their need of security, but Cancers seem to be more willing of following their hearts (after a long, long time of praying and the famous one step forward, two step backward thing ) IP: Logged |
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