posted January 06, 2012 12:32 AM            

Currently I am experiencing a difficult aspect in my relationship, it's there in our synastry, I do appreciate Saturn only because it gives me an idea of where the work and possible success is... Anyway his Saturn squares my moon in pisces for some reason I cannot talk to him, especially about my feelings or thoughts center ed around my emotions. I'm already learning to embrace my emotions a lot more it's been hard and uncomfortable but I'm getting used to it... the problem is for some reason without him verbally expressing it I feel stifled all the time. He projects this air of authority and I always feel judged - this is what I truly perceive- it's like I'm being heavily scrutinized and how I feel just isn't "sufficient" or that I should "be emotionally strong" that's the air he projects which is contradicting because he is the one always asking how I feel and what I'm thinking and that I can always talk to him (I can talk about anything impersonal.. when it comes to matters of importance I feel stifled by him this is really ruining my interpretation of a potentially fulfilling relationship) He thinks the relationship is butterflies and sunshine, I'm on the other hand feeling kind of unhappy. I know if I tell him this he will be really hurt. I'm not sure if this is what this aspect even means... I assume Saturn the father stern vs moon emotions etc would have some kind of powerful limitation over the moon person. That's truly how I feel currently. I cannot be open entirely about something that matters to me emotionally I have to really sift and edit out things because for some reason I feel like he is judging or secretly critiquing me in a bad way or he will continue to behave like some authoraiative parent figure... He is a great guy I am happy on some level this is just one major thing for me. He will ask me something regarding feelings and I just blank out I try so hard to say what I really feel and I cannot.. because of the air I receive from him.. Again this is what I perceive. This is the energy he projects and I honestly think he is not aware of it all.

We have a lot of water in our charts, specifically Venus and moon and Pluto and other asteroids.. He senses a lot of things especially when I'm upset or if something is wrong, he will ask "What's wrong?" "are you upset" truthfully I am but I cannot directly tell him this it'll usually be "im fine" "nope nothing is wrong!" it's freaky that he will sense it right off the bat but I just cannot talk to him about it. I want to, maybe I have to get used to being comfortable with relying on others for emotional support? No clue. I've been googling lots of stuff on this aspect but cant really find much...

Do any of you who've had this aspect natally or in synastry how did you overcome it? Should you just come right out and say what you feel or what?

posted January 06, 2012 01:20 AM            

I have saturn in cancer squaring my mars/jupiter in aries. It is difficult for me to accept obstacles when what I want to do is action here and now in a big way... But I have learnt to try a bit harder for I really want.

posted January 06, 2012 01:27 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by milly:
Hi there :-)
Maybe you can try talking about your feelings in a structured way? Let`s say you calm down, write what you want to express without the flare of emotions?

I have saturn in cancer squaring my mars/jupiter in aries. It is difficult for me to accept obstacles when what I want to do is action here and now in a big way... But I have learnt to try a bit harder for I really want.

Hugs,
Milly

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hello,

thanks for your reply. you know i have contemplated that idea but it feels so cheesy for me, writing it out on paper seems sound and for a moment it seems like a great idea but then i go "hmm.. this seems extremely obnoxious and as if i am making this into something it isn't."

there were a lot of moments where i knew i had the perfect opportunity to broach a subject and it was really oozing out of my mouth and then i just blanked out left it as "oh.. nothing.." when it was really something! and my mars in cancer will erupt pretty quickly... its so hard.. i know he will offer a solution as if i asked for one thats another reason why i feel stifled most of the time.

posted January 06, 2012 01:51 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by milly:
LOL... I understand you :-)
Yes, writing down works for me, but I think it is part of the saturn in cancer story. But I think mars in cancer certainly will feel cheesy. However I think you should try it, mars will backfire if you do not talk somehow. You can start with... Do you remember two days ago? When you asked if something was wrong? Well, there was actually something....

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has that happened to you before? you let things slide and it backfired on you? this happens all the time to me! but i think "hm.. later perhaps' but then things build and build, ive developed stomach ulcers because of this terrible tendency that i minimize serious conerns or problems and figure i'll internalize/deal with it alone.

posted January 06, 2012 02:24 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by milly:
Yes, it happens to me. I realized that I can help a little. Dare to express yourself but be aware that you may feel uncomfortable at the beginning, like getting naked or something like that :-) after you discover that you are still alive you will get better at it. If you are good with e-mails then write him a message! I like how you write.

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posted January 06, 2012 02:29 AM            

Saturn craves what it touches, and when it contacts the moon you suffer from the illusion that you are separated from and lack the ability to connect intimately with someone. You may fear rejection. Because of this, you feel inhibited in expressing your emotions and feeling ... but on the plus side you often also feel compelled to improve and master this aspect of your life because you want it so much. Mastery over anything can only be achieved through rigorous life lessons. Saturn ensures that circumstances in your life will manifest in order to awaken a need to “improve” the functioning of the moon. Saturn will drive you to mature and get a solid grip on what it takes to express emotion, feeling, intimacy and imagination in a mature and effective manner.

When Saturn is in aspect to the moon in the Natal chart, you have the potential to develop very well controlled, realistic and enduring emotional responses. Nevertheless, with a hard aspect the chances are, you will never quite feel satisfied that you have mastered it - no matter how much you work on it – which is why there is continuous compulsion to work on improving it throughout your life. Saturn will never be satisfied while there are lessons you still need to learn in order to improve the functioning of your instinctive emotional reactions so that they "work" in the real world - no stone is left uncovered. This will take place though testing situations which affect you emotionally in a painful and compelling way. These challenges will potentially force you to recognise what you need to do in order to operate in a mature and effective manner, with the result that over time you become a master of your own emotions.... if you learn well.... OR a cold and emotionless shell if her resist and resent changing yourself or if you allow yourself to be defeated by adversity. If you deal well with your Saturn, you will learn what the illusionary or counter-productive elements are that make you feel you are not good enough and which are preventing you from connecting emotionally with others. You always crave the qualities of the planet which Saturn contacts (in this case - the moon- therefore emotional intimacy), but are delayed from benefiting from this until you become rigorously self aware of your emotional nature. Emotional fulfillment is not denied, just delayed .... until you get it right.

With soft aspects to Saturn, you will be more likely to want to co-operate with the lessons you need to learn to achieve mastery. It will be like Mary Poppins is the teacher – you still have to learn, but the pill is sweetened.

But with hard aspects, it will feel more like Attila the Hun is your teacher. You learn while being exquisitely tortured. It is much harder to want to resist the lesson when you feel you are being horse-whipped into shape!

But either way, you will learn. The difference is that if you learn to master the expression of the moon by means of a soft aspect to Saturn, you will most certainly benefit from your effort and hard work, but your self-awareness may not have developed very much in the process. Conversely, with the hard aspects, mastery of the Saturn lesson will be harder to achieve, but personal growth will be huge and it will be accompanied by tremendous insight.

Of course, in either case (soft or hard aspects), if you fail to learn – you will continuously feel that craving to achieve intimacy and emotional connection, and you may feel like you are being denied opportunities in that area of life. You feel victimised (“poor me!”) and resistant to change. It will seem that something or someone outside is always at fault and being nasty to you and making bad things happen. You might project this by lashing out at others, judging them or trying to control them.

posted January 06, 2012 02:53 AM            

So interesting.... we do have easy aspects with Saturn too. It's just this aspect specifically is manifesting itself into the relationship. Difficultly of emotional expression. I've wanted to leave the relationship but he doesn't want me to and he doesn't see why I want to etc. It's the rejection too on my part I sense he will act like a father all authoriatiave or impose some kind of rule or regulate my own feelings and emotions so I refrain from really opening up. it bites me in the butt later on.

That's the thing I don't entirely know what the lesson is... at times I do feel like my own feelings are insignificant almost child-like compared to him and his realities. Like I am almost made to feel ashamed if I.. for example feel saddened by something he did. I'll get a speech like "oh so and so, I'm working very hard etc etc." I feel like, "woah.. guess my feelings do not matter compared to what you're Doing etc." so I subconsciously train myself to keep mum about something that I really should talk about...

but then when he finds out or senses i get that emotional connection elsewhere it angers him and he can't understand why i can't talk to him but the reason I cant is because of what I just said up there lol. like I should be forced to "grow up" emotionally or compared to his level when I'm not there yet.. maybe that is the lesson here? in short it's extremely difficult to talk to him about serious things because he will act like some authoritian, quite controlling but I know he means well, and I will have to minimize or edit out my feelings just so I wont get the treatment as if I'm being or acting like a child. but if I go elsewhere to get it, he won't like it at all. nataly I have Saturn sq Pluto he has Saturn (sag) semisquare his ascendent (cap)

What is the lesson here? sometimes I do think I should mature a bit more emotionally I'm still young... not that I'm using age as an excuse but I am trying to grow more emotionally was never given the opportunity to divulge, express or look into myself emotionally. To me it feels like Parent vs Child kinda :S

posted January 06, 2012 03:00 AM            

He told me the other day "You have to be emotionally strong!" I wanted to throw something at him. I don't even know what that means. I can't just snap my fingers and morph into him. (that's what I want to tell him sometimes) I don't cry or whatever or act like an emotional mess...but I am very sensitive to him. I cannot express myself so I feel restricted and things build up and I explode (in private)

posted January 06, 2012 03:00 AM            

Will you please post this in the Brown Owl Forum?

posted January 06, 2012 03:03 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by milly:
Yes, I write an email when I cannot speak up my feelings :-). My moon is in geminis in the 4th house.
I see you have your moon in piscis, so it is armonic with your mars in cancer. I see one way you have to avoid mars backfiring is working in something artistic or creative. I can also see that your mercury in the first will help you to communicate all that very rich inner world you have, all your emotions. Saturn in the first house makes you shy, but if you work on it it will give you strength rather than cohibition and then you will call it responsability.

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Ya. I'm def shy when it comes to any form of personal self expression.. I will take weeks to answer a question sometimes where other people will answer it in a matter of minutes.

posted January 06, 2012 03:29 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Taineberry:
Saturn craves what it touches, and when it contacts the moon you suffer from the illusion that you are separated from and lack the ability to connect intimately with someone. You may fear rejection. Because of this, you feel inhibited in expressing your emotions and feeling ...

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Do you interpret that as a natal aspect or in synastry?

posted January 06, 2012 03:56 AM            

Well, I guess the "lesson" that you learn differs from person to person ... but in my case the Moon/Saturn NATAL square is all about learning to love and respect myself and develop emotional self-sufficiency so that I am complete in myself whether or not I am in a relationship. i.e. so that I can be with people not because I am emotionally needy and want them to fill a space inside me that feels unloved and unwanted, but because I feel a geniune affinity with them devoid of clingyness and control. This was a long process, as for a long time I would do ANYTHING to feel wanted and loved, and attracted either people who were manipulative or controlling; or people who didn't really care ... which subconsiously reinforced my belief in my own unworthiness.

posted January 06, 2012 04:19 AM            

quote:

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Moon person, you also need to ensure that you are not depending on the Saturn person to fill your emotional insecurities, and then getting upset becuase they don't do it. Are you projecting your emotional expectations on to them, because you are fundamentally insecure

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posted January 06, 2012 09:33 AM            

And in Synastry - yes - the Saturn person generally is the controller, but it must be remembered that this need to control is born out of their own fear that they can't stop things from happening that will threaten the way that they want the world to operate... so they try to impose limits and restrictions and it is only when they realise how pointless this all is that Saturn stops being a heavy and can start accepting differences and change, and deal responsibly and non-judgementally with what IS rather than what they want to impose.

posted January 06, 2012 11:33 AM            

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"The better you feel about yourself, the less you feel the need to show off." — Robert Hand