posted February 01, 2013 04:29 PM            

I liked your interpretation of opposition vs square and it seems to be true in our case. We rarely disagree on anything, but even in our most heated arguments we don't say things we don't mean, or anything to put the other person down. The saying ” we all say things we don't mean when we're angry” has always been true for me (I'm a bit stubborn and hot-tempered sometimes) but I couldn't imagine saying something to him with the sole purpose of insulting or hurting him and I know the feeling is mutual.

We almost always have something to talk about (uranus opposite mercury?) but even when we don't the silence is never uncomfortable. Our conversations are usually quite lively and we can talk about literally anything. I think this might have to do with our sun, Merc, Venus falling in Gemini (chiron/Jupiter are in Taurus).

does that weaken the strength if the stellium falling into two different signs? All 5 planets/asteroid fall within a 10 degree span (Taurus 26 degrees-Gemini 6 degrees) and all of them fall in our composite 11H.
How's that for a ” Uranian” relationship. Composite 11h stellium opposite uranus.

I wanted to add, at least for me, I think uranus/Venus contacts create an unconditional type of love. Like no matter how long or how far comes between us, I'll love him no matter what and in his words ”I could never not love you.” Unconditional

Thank you again!

posted February 05, 2013 10:39 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Lotis White:
Hi Keela!

Sorry, I lost the information you posted. Would you mind posting it again?

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posted February 05, 2013 11:09 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Kerosene:
I've had good synastry with people that just aren't attractive in my opinion...
Maybe a friendship can develop but thats about it.

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posted August 03, 2013 07:05 AM            

I found this to be accurately correct.
I also think that people with intense natals, are more likely to want a relationship that is just as intense in contrast with those who prefer a relationship full of trines.

I will explain a bit further with examples.
My ex and I had a very good synastry with many grand trines and only like a couple of squares and also a very good composite.
Well this didnt work for me. It was good in the beginning but after that it was way too boring.
Instead, I still thing about the guy we had something like a year ago and our synastry was full of karmic, both good and challenging aspects, and the composite was mediocre. I simply cant forget him and I have indications that it goes the same way for him.

So I strongly believe that hard aspects are the ones who make for an unforgettable relationship.

posted August 03, 2013 07:21 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by its_aqua:

So I strongly believe that hard aspects are the ones who make for an unforgettable relationship.

anyone who agrees?

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I do.

I don´t see how that disagrees with Lotis writings though.

BTW unforgettable doesn`t always mean happy or healthy though.

I think you are right though, people with intense natals tend to get bored with only trines in a synastry after a while. (I know I do).

However, there has to be some areas of breathing space or where you can relax into as well, as noone can really exist on high voltage and intensity alone. It is needed, definitely, but what is also needed is some flowing areas.

I was listenting to a discussion about longterm love yesterday.
And the psychologist mentioned that in his opinion four columns need to exist in a relationship, for it to having even the potential to work out in the long run.

1. Love of course (meaning romantic love in a love relationship)

2. Intimacy, closeness, bondedness

3. Sex (yes it is overrated, but without it...)

4. COMMUNICATION

I couldn`t help but seeing four planets in my mind Venus, Moon, Mars, Mercury
(maybe a mix with othersa though)

Also one thing he said that is the absolute NECESSARY condition for love work out the longterm.

BOTH NEED TO WANT IT.

It is such a simple thing to say, but it is worth keeping it in mind. I am getting off topic here I know I know. Sorry.

Another thing that is needed is that people need to be able to communicate with each other honestly about what they really want in a relationship and come to an (honest) agreement. (not one where one compromises out of fear losing the other).

It may sound boring, but I think there is something to it.

Anyway, of course when we are talking about attraction, we are talking about the first stages of love.

I honestly think that for attraction you NEED to have dynamic aspects (conjunction, opposition,s quare). YES, also the square!

I like what Basil Fearrington sais at
0°20-0:50

posted August 03, 2013 07:57 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by its_aqua:
I would like to make an observation Lotis.
Someone, I think it was JKitty, mentioned about how the natals should be the first interpreted before looking into synastries.

I found this to be accurately correct.
I also think that people with intense natals, are more likely to want a relationship that is just as intense in contrast with those who prefer a relationship full of trines.

I will explain a bit further with examples.
My ex and I had a very good synastry with many grand trines and only like a couple of squares and also a very good composite.
Well this didnt work for me. It was good in the beginning but after that it was way too boring.
Instead, I still thing about the guy we had something like a year ago and our synastry was full of karmic, both good and challenging aspects, and the composite was mediocre. I simply cant forget him and I have indications that it goes the same way for him.

So I strongly believe that hard aspects are the ones who make for an unforgettable relationship.

anyone who agrees?

---

Hi Aqua,

Ha! The thing about hard aspects is that they get you all worked up about something. Like you’re compelled to act, and you keep going back to certain issues again, and again, and again, redefining them, and trying to come to some type ‘final arrangement’ or conclusion about the situation. In syanstry, hard aspects are very compelling and exciting, especially when dealing with more ‘fun’ planets like Venus, Mars, Jupiter, and Uranus, to each other, or to Mercury, the Sun, or the Moon.

I think we really do need a few hard aspects in synastry to set things off, and get the ball rolling so to speak. They add a dynamic quality to a relationship. With too many hard aspects though, the relationship can get a little too dynamic, in that it’s rocked so much, and changes so much, that it ends. Hard aspects can bring struggle, and when we struggle for something we tend to appreciate it more then when it’s just given to us. This may be where you’re getting the ‘unforgettable’ vibe from relationships that contain a good amount of hard aspects.

Soft aspects promote stability, and to some may seem boring, but they also make great ‘glue’ for continuity in a relationship, rather then massive highs and lows. Actually, I find trines and sextiles quite fun, and enjoy the positive smooth flow that they have. I think the best bet is to have synastry that contains a good balance of hard versus soft aspects. Usually with soft aspects and conjunctions having the edge of over oppositions and squares, but enough of the later, to keep momentum in the relationship. And I also believe that how our natal chart is set-up is vital to how much we need, or don’t need, hard aspects.

There was a thread about this short while ago

Bias regarding soft and hard aspects http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum24/HTML/220754.html

This was my contribution.

Soft aspects tend to make us satisfied with the status quo. They generate stability, contentment, peace, harmony, simplicity, and ease. Everything flows smoothly without any hiccups, or issues. Soft aspect are a nice relief when we just need some serenity, and freedom from stress in life. Here we’re usually pleased with the direction of events. Soft aspects refresh us and make life pleasant, but too many to lead to boredom and stagnation.

Hard aspects challenge us and generate change. Here we find drama, energy, excitement, problems, disruption, and hard work. Hard aspects require us to get involved and DO something about what’s going on around us. With hard aspects circumstances often conspire to push us into activity and resolve some type of conundrum. Hard aspects promote enthusiasm and incentive for growth, but too many can be stressful and draining.

IN SYNASTRY…

An excess of hard aspects are said to make a relationship too exhausting. But how much is too many will depend on the individual. Some will have a higher tolerance then others. That’s because hard aspects require EFFORT. In relationships hard aspects bring disagreement, confrontation, negotiation, and compromise. They also bring excitement, drama, thrills, motivation, activity, and challenge.

If you have a hard natal chart this can indicate a higher tolerance for hard synastry, as it’s natural for you to function this way anyway. Although, it’s also true that some with hard charts appreciate it when parts of their hard configurations get relief from some nice sextiles or trines. People who have more soft charts natally, generally have a lower tolerance for hard aspects in synastry. Although, sometimes they actually need them to get pulled out ruts, and to be challenged towards growth that they otherwise wouldn’t have aspired to. One or two hard aspects should be sufficient for this. Four or five might too exhausting for those with mainly soft charts. Then there're those with a balance of hard and soft aspects. My guess is these types do better with a good balance of both soft and hard aspects.

The general rule for synastry from most astrologers that I’ve studied is that it’s preferable when the majority of aspects are soft, with some spice added in from a few hard aspects. High soft aspects mean contentment, stability, and agreement. The theory is that if we agree with our partner we’ll like each other more, and are more likely to want to stay in the relationship. Low hard aspects mean that there’ll also be a bit of effort, change, and excitement, in the relationship to keep things interesting. Here, the theory is that there’ll be enough challenge in the relationship to promote growth, but not so much that we become tired of dealing with constant issues, and become discontent with the situation. Which would decrease the likelihood of a lasting relationship.

In terms of hard vs. soft aspects in synastry, most people have there own individual ratio that they personally need in relationships. Usually this involves more soft aspects then hard aspects, with some people needing more or less hard aspects depending on their own nature.

It also depends on what planets you’re willing to work on ‘issues’ with in a synastry. What’s worse, Saturn Square Venus, or Uranus square Venus. Each one will bring different sets of issues to the relationship, that will require both partners to bargain and compromise with each other.

posted August 03, 2013 08:20 AM            

And of course we shouldnt forget the house overlay.

Also, I believe it has to do with the signs involved! I'm not familiar at all with certain signs since I have never encountered them so I dont believe that even if they formed harmonious aspects with my planets, I would be able to tolerate them.

For instance, I really don't get on well with Libras, they somehow are too "quiet" in a sense for me, I'd rather have Leo friends who oppose my Sun Sign.

posted August 03, 2013 09:10 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Lotis White:
It's been a while, so I'm bumping for further discussion.

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I had read this thread in the archives just a few days ago and had been thinking of bumping it. Great minds . . . Hey, where's your Mercury? Mine's at 27 Aquarius.

posted August 03, 2013 09:18 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by its_aqua:
I also think that people with intense natals, are more likely to want a relationship that is just as intense in contrast with those who prefer a relationship full of trines.
anyone who agrees?

---

Absolutely! Natally I've got a Venus-Mars square and my Moon-Sun are opposing in a T-square with Neptune. The man who's "grabbed my attention" also has a Venus-Mars square and also has his Moon-Sun squaring in his natal. What does that tell ya? People with little "internal conflict" would BORE ME TO DEATH. I NEED someone who's "complex" enough to peak my interest!

posted August 03, 2013 09:39 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Lotis White:
[BlI think the best bet is to have synastry that contains a good balance of hard versus soft aspects...And I also believe that how our natal chart is set-up is vital to how much we need, or don’t need, hard aspects.

In terms of hard vs. soft aspects in synastry, most people have there own individual ratio that they personally need in relationships. Usually this involves more soft aspects then hard aspects, with some people needing more or less hard aspects depending on their own nature.
Personal taste and our own charts are so important when it comes to how we feel about one synastry versus another. [/B]

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posted August 03, 2013 09:54 AM            

quote:

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1. Love of course (meaning romantic love in a love relationship)

2. Intimacy, closeness, bondedness

3. Sex (yes it is overrated, but without it...)

4. COMMUNICATION

I couldn`t help but seeing four planets in my mind Venus, Moon, Mars, Mercury
(maybe a mix with othersa though)

Also one thing he said that is the absolute NECESSARY condition for love work out the longterm.

BOTH NEED TO WANT IT.

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posted August 03, 2013 07:41 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Jkitty:
I had read this thread in the archives just a few days ago and had been thinking of bumping it. Great minds . . . Hey, where's your Mercury? Mine's at 27 Aquarius.

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posted August 03, 2013 07:58 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Lotis White:
Well, I've got Mercury at 22 Sagittarius, Asc 25 Sagittarius, and Venus at 29 Sagittarius. My Sun sign is Capricorn. Hey, your Mercury is quite close to my Asc/Venus! And my 3rd house is Aquarius, that's where your Mercury is. I think it explains a mental rapport.

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My Mercury is also opposed by my Uranus at 24 Leo. We've definitely got a connection. With the opposition, I think I flip between octaves

posted June 11, 2014 05:00 AM            

I think that could be moved to IA, too.