posted November 16, 2012 10:32 PM            

Okay. So we've probably all had that experience of meeting somebody with whom we share strong physical attraction synastry, and yet for some puzzling reason we're just not into them like that. And other times we’re head-over-heels. I think the answer to why this happens in the majority of cases is HOUSE RELATED SYNASTRY! Attraction is not purely just about what planets are aspecting what other planets. We can have Venus/Mars with one person and not harbor any romantic feelings for them at all… And have the very same aspect with a different person and be overwhelmingly attracted. This is because the ROLE a person will be playing in our lives is also largely determined by how they influence our natal houses in synastry.

I’ve been into astrology since I’ve been an early teen, and I’ve got a lot of observation under my belt. Of the people around me, myself, and celebrity case studies. As I’ve honed my passion for astrology I’ve started to notice certain patterns, especially with regard to the astrology of romantic attraction. One themes I’ve noticed is that HOUSE RELATED SYNASTRY 'ACTIVATES' ATTRACTION PRODUCING INTERPLANETARY ASPECTS. It’s seems that the physical attraction potential of certain astrological aspects can be either ‘activated’ or not depending on how the other person influences our natal chart through house ruler synastry, house overlays, and house symbolism matches.

But before I get into the house synastry thing, I’ll outline the aspects typically associated with physical attraction (Most of us know these already).

Astrology is REALLY flexible when it comes to physical attraction. There are many combinations of planets that indicate this...

PLANETARY COMBINATIONS INDICATING PHYSICAL ATTRACTION.

Sun/Moon, Sun/Venus, Sun/Mars, Sun/Pluto, Moon/Venus, Moon/Mars, Moon/Pluto, Venus/Asc, Venus/Venus, Venus/Mars, Venus/Uranus, Venus/Pluto, Mars/Asc, Mars/Mars, Mars/Uranus, Mars/Pluto...

Different planetary combinations seem to work better for different people depending on their natal charts, and the rest of the synastry with the partner. I've noticed most people do have their personal favorites based on their experiences. All of the above aspects do work, it's just a matter of preference.

I've also noticed that even if people are the same sex and are straight, that these aspects work for liking each other's look even in just a platonic way. There haven been a few women whose sensual look/vibe I really liked who had Venus in Capricorn in my 2nd house opposite my Cancer Moon in the 8th. These aspects can describe simply admiring someone's attractive features in general, as well to the more romantic/sexual types of attractions.

I also want to mention Venus/Mercury. This aspect is not typically associated with physical attraction in the purest sense. But it can indicate finding each other's mannerisms attractive, flirty little interactions, and good kissing (so I've heard).

WHY HOUSE SYNASTRY IS IMPORTANT.

The 5th, 7th, and 8th houses are the power players when it comes to who we find attractive, and why we find them attractive. If we have a typical physical attraction interplanetary aspect with somebody, and we don't feel it that way, I suspect that the main reason for this is that they may not be hitting any of the 'relationship houses' (5th, 7th, and 8th) in synastry….

People can influence our relationship houses either by putting planets in that house through overlays (Especially if the overlaying planets make important aspects to your natal chart), or by aspecting the ruler of that house in your chart with their natal planets. When people touch the 5th, 7th, or 8th houses in your chart with their natal placements they bring the theme of that house to ‘life’ for you. Almost like they are turning that house ‘on’.

Another way for someone to activate your relationship houses is with a symbolism match... For instance, if you have a Scorpio Dsc, with Uranus in the 7th, and Pluto in Libra ruling the Dsc, and the other person has strong Scorpio/Pluto, Aquarius/Uranus, and/or Libra/Venus in their chart, then they match the symbolism of your 7th house with the makeup of their chart... Creating a symbolism match to your taste and preferences. Symbolism matches are what makes a person seem like they are your ‘type’ in terms of personality and style.

HOUSE SYNASTRY AND PHYSICAL ATTRACTION PLANETARY ASPECTS.

I've noticed over time that house related synastry seems to 'activate' any physical attraction aspects that exist in your synastry with somebody. Like it flicks the switch in our psyche that distinguishes between a platonic relationship and a potential lover. The stronger and more intense such 5th/7th/8th house related synastry is, the more intense and complete the attraction to that person will be.

If, for example, you have Moon trine Mars with somebody, and they also had their Sun in your 5th house, their Venus sextiling your 7th house ruler, and their Moon in you 8th house trining your 7th house ruler… This house related synastry would likely flick the Moon/Mars aspect ‘on’ in a romantic/sexual way. If such house related synastry involving the 5th, 7th, and 8th houses is missing, the Moon/Mars aspect would likely stay platonic, and you may like that person’s energy in a friendly way, but not find them particularly attractive.

The 5th, 7th, and 8th houses (The relationship houses) in synastry seem to be the keys to ‘activating’ the romantic attraction potential of any synastry that you have with somebody.

ACTIVATING ALL THREE OF THE HOUSES IS IMPORTANT.

In romantic relationships, it does work best if the person in question influences all three of the relationship houses in your chart some way or another. The three relationship houses (the 5th, 7th, and 8th) each represent one of the three important levels in all romantic relationships. Romance (the 5th), partnership (7th) and intimacy (8th).

If your partner’s chart connects to all three of these houses, this is a very good sign. As it indicates that the relationship feels balanced and complete for you. Having your partner connect to all three of these houses in at least some way is actually not as hard as it sounds. Your partner could aspect the ruler of one of these houses. Have planets actually in these houses. Or simply have a natal chart that matches the symbolism of one or more of these houses. For example, you have Jupiter in the 7th house, and your partner has important natal placements in Sagittarius (a symbolism match).

It’s also an extremely good sign if your partner, in turn, has all three of their relationship houses activated by you (in some why). Something as simple as a sextile to the ruler of one of the 5th, 7th, or 8th houses will be effective, especially if the other two relationship houses are strong in synastry. This way the relationship will ‘feel’ balanced and complete for your partner.

REQUITED AND UNREQUITED LOVE.

The strongest house 'relationship house' activated in the synastry for each person will determine the flavor of the relationship for them. If only one or two of these 'relationship houses' are activated for one or both of the people in the relationship, then the relationship can feel lopsided or somehow incomplete. Sometimes this even leads to an unrequited love situation, if one person has strong activation of their relationship houses in synastry, while the other person has weak or no activation of their relationship houses.

Of course if there is no relationship house activation for either person in a situation, even if they have Mars conjunct Venus, the relationship will likely stay in the platonic zone. A reverse to this is also true. If you have no typical physical attraction synastry aspects with someone, and yet they activate your relationship houses very strongly, you could see them as very much your type in terms of personality and style, and yet there seems to be a spark missing... Like there’s just not enough passion to build a connection on.

The synastry of romance seems to be a rather complicated balance between each person in the relationship having all of three of the 5th, 7th, and 8th houses activated in some way… And also having a couple of really nice typical physical attraction interaspects in the synastry. Both seem to be necessary for a relationship for worthwhile and viable to both parties.

THE THREE FLAVORS OF ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS.

I mentioned earlier about how the 'flavor' of a relationship is determined by which relationship houses are strongest for each person in the synastry. The symbolism of 5th, 7th, and 8th houses describe what we like on 3 different levels.

The 5th house is about romantic sparks, infatuation, courtship, and falling in love. It's that euphoric 'RUSH' we get when we first meet that special someone who impresses us big time! The 5th house is all about how and why we fell in love with someone in the first place (Most movies and romance novels are about this part of the relationship).

The 7th house is about what we view as 'partnership material' for the long term. And about who we really like and just want to be with in the most basic of ways. That feeling of tender sweet affection that we have for a loved one... That longing to embrace their whole vibe as a person, interact with them, and know them. This comes from the 7th house (The happy couples in typical American sitcoms exemplify 7th house love).

The 8th house is about the private bond that a couple builds up as they learn to trust each other. The 8th house is where we get intimate, reveal our mutual vulnerabilities, share secrets, and negotiate the power balance in the relationship. It's where we combine forces and unite with our partner, in the deepest, most complete ways possible... Sexually, emotionally, financially. (Media example of 8th house relationships? Psychological thrillers and X-rated stuff. Although, hopefully we get a more peaceful type of 8th house relationship than is typical of the average psychological thriller!! The 8th house has a gentle soothing side too).

THE TYPE OF RELATIONSHIP EXPERIENCE EACH PARTNER HAS IS DIFFERENT.

The relationship house that is strongest for each person in synastry will show how the relationship feels for them. For example, if you have your 5th house strongly influenced by your partner (Though 5th house overlays, aspects to your 5th house ruler, or your partner's natal matching the symbolism of your 5th house), then there’ll be a consistent theme in the relationship for you relating to the meaning of the 5th house: Feeling 'in love', being impressed, seeing the other person as adorable and special, a playful tone.

If your partner then has their 8th house strongly influenced in the synastry (Though 8th house overlays, aspects to their 8th house ruler, or your natal matching the symbolism of their 8th house), then there’ll be a consistent theme in the relationship for them relating to the meaning of the 8th house: Sexual attraction, trust, and getting emotional and physical security from the relationship, a serious tone.

Each person in a relationship will have a different experience of the relationship depending on house related synastry, and which relationship house is the strongest for them in the connection. Giving each person in the relationship their own unique experience of the flavor, feeling, or vibe of the relationship. Although, preferably all three of the 5th, 7th, and 8th houses will still be touched to some extent for each partner, even if there’s a different emphasis in the synastry.

EXCEPTIONS TO THE RULE?

Astrology is complex, so I'm sure there is more to the story... Occasionally there may be exceptions to the rule. But in the majority of cases, it's seems that what switches physical attraction producing planetary aspects from platonic to romantic, is house related synastry.

House related synastry shows if a person is able to fit into the role of a romantic partner for us in very specific ways. How they are able to match our individual conceptions of courtship, partnership, and intimacy is revealed by how their chart influences these areas of life (houses) for us. If they don't influence these areas of life for us at all, they simply won't attract us much regardless of what the interplanetary synastry is.

The general trend that I've noticed is that the house person feels more the planet person, and is inspired by them. Although, I have seen a few random exceptions to this... Sometimes, for reasons unknown, the planet person will feel more for the house person. As if they personally feel it's their role to be the house person's lover/partner/intimate, and became attracted to the house person. Perhaps house related synastry goes both ways to some extent. Even if it’s usually felt more strongly on the house person's/receiving side, then on the planet person's/giving side. I think it would be interesting to explore more about what the planet person actually experiences in house related synastry, and how sensitive we really are to ‘being’ in other peoples houses, and touching their house rulers.

Another type of exception that I've noticed is that if two people have a really powerful physical attraction producing aspect... Like Sun exact conjunct Moon, or Venus exact conjunct Mars, there can be some attraction even if the 5th, 7th, and 8th house related synastry is absent. Here, it’s like the power of the aspect is so intense that it can override the 'activation switch' of the relationship houses. In these cases, you may see the person as sexy or good looking… But they won't match what your 'type' is, or fit in with your relationship ideals. As a result the connection usually goes nowhere due to lack of motivation to actually have a relationship with that person. The astrology of romantic/physical attraction is complicated stuff.

Anyway, that’s my astrological theory of why physical attraction aspects sometimes work, and sometimes don’t work, in synastry.

posted November 17, 2012 12:45 PM            

Makes sense to me.

posted November 17, 2012 04:17 PM            

Same thing for composites.

posted November 17, 2012 09:18 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by StacyLewis:
I don't know if I necessarily buy this either, because there's plenty of folks who have their romantic and sexually-based houses activated by other people in synastry, and feel no desire or attraction; and plenty of people who have their "un-sexy" houses like the sixth activated by another person and can't keep their hands off of them.

Same thing for composites.

I think it's just a crapshoot in general where relationship astrology is concerned, and that nothing is guaranteed. I don't think there really are any hard or fast rules one way or another, and that in general that whole area of astrology is probably the weak-link in terms of accuracy, and that when it comes to two people relating to one another, they need to just put the astrology aside totally and just interact with one another and stop expecting anything one way or the other.

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I just wanted to pop back in here to emphasize that I'm not just talking about the 'planets in houses' thing.

House ruler aspects between natal charts are extremely important. And often disappointingly overlooked in astro synastry. Having someone’s Venus conjunct your 7th house ruler… Very sweet and attractive, even if the person in question has NOTHING in your 7th house.

People seem to automatically jump to the ‘planets in houses’ scenario when we think of the role of houses in synastry. While planets in houses are very influential, not including house ruler synastry in a relationship interpretation really limits what we’re able to perceive. If you have Taurus on the 5th house cusp check how Venus aspects your partner’s chart. This can be very revealing of how your partner influences 5th house matters in your chart. The rulers of the signs on the 5th, 7th, and 8th houses cusps in our chart, and how the interact with our partner’s chart, can add so much depth to our understanding of a relationship.

posted November 17, 2012 09:27 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by libraschoice77:
There is one time that I can actually agree on this article, my ex was a Sun in Scorpio, and Moon in Capricorn. His Sun was in my 5th house and his Moon was in my 7th house. There was an attraction, but it mostly came from his end.

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posted November 17, 2012 09:41 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by saggimoongirl:
Interesting read,for a newbie like me. From what I understand, do you mean if a partner's planets touches the 5th, 7th and 8th of my house, it will trigger a stronger relationship/bond ? For eg: my partner's 5th Libra, 7th Saggi, 8th Cap. I have Saggi Moon and Sun Cap, the partner will feel more than me cos his houses are 'activated'... Hmmm *interesting thoughts*

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Yes, you're on the right track. However, it's about way more then just 'planets in houses' in synastry. If your partner has Libra on the 5th house cusp, Sagittarius on the 7th house cusp, and Capricorn on the 8th house cusp.... Then pay attention to how your partner's Venus, Jupiter, and Saturn interacts with your chart. Strong aspects here will reinforces his attraction to you.

posted November 17, 2012 10:07 PM            

For example: bad or difficult sex speaks of the 8th house ruler making a stressful aspect, or really, any aspect to Saturn. This is bad in most cases because, the 8th house speaks of sexuality and sexual sharing. If your partner's Saturn squares your 8th house ruler, the Moon for example, you'll not only feel limited sexually, you're going to feel emotionally wounded from the limitations and explosive from it as well, since the Moon is moody.

On the other hand, a positive aspect to the 8th house ruler of one or both partners from Jupiter would be a total blessing.

posted November 17, 2012 10:22 PM            

In my relationship with my boyfriend, we don't have the typical house placements which make a romantic relationship. A lot of my planets fall into his cadent houses,and my venus falls into his 11th. His planets fall into cadent houses, too, including his venus and moon. His mars falls into my 11th. But our house rulers of the relationship houses aspect each other. His 5th conjuncts my 8th ruler, his 7th ruler trines my 5th, his 8th conjuncts my uranus and squares my moon and jupiter, my 7th sextiles his pluto; our dsc ruler squares his asc ruler, too.

posted November 17, 2012 10:56 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by inthemisosoup:
What an awesome read! I definitely appreciate you taking the time to post this. House rulers are so important in synastry. That's why its frustrating not to have the birth times of someone who's synastry you might look into...the whole picture is not there.

In my relationship with my boyfriend, we don't have the typical house placements which make a romantic relationship. A lot of my planets fall into his cadent houses,and my venus falls into his 11th. His planets fall into cadent houses, too, including his venus and moon. His mars falls into my 11th. But our house rulers of the relationship houses aspect each other. His 5th conjuncts my 8th ruler, his 7th ruler trines my 5th, his 8th conjuncts my uranus and squares my moon and jupiter, my 7th sextiles his pluto; our dsc ruler squares his asc ruler, too.

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Sounds like you’ve got some pretty good chemistry there. And I sooo get the frustration about not having birth times when you're curious.

quote:

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Originally posted by inthemisosoup:

Another example as to why tobs are so important: a guy I've had a crush on forever. Don't know his tob, but all of his personal planets fall into either my 5th, 7th, or 8th house, and we have a lot of typical attraction aspects (venus opp mars, mars trine mars, mars trine venus, venus sextile venus/pluto, etc.). But a relationship never happened, instead we had a very brief kiss which never progressed; plus, a family member of his who happens to my best friend disapproved. So, I bet my his relationship house aren't the ones so heavily aspected in our synastry.

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posted November 17, 2012 11:43 PM            

It may also be worth taking into account the 2nd and the 11th houses in relationship synastry.

THE 2ND HOUSE IS THE HOUSE OF SENUSAL PLEASURE AND HAVING SOMETHING TO OFFER

The 2nd house can have to do with a very basic kind of physical attraction in synastry and overlays. The Sun, Moon, Asc, Venus, or Mars here particularly could enhance physical attraction. This is a very sensual house. People who influence this house in a positive way can also bolster your feelings of self-worth, as if we have something of tangible value to offer in a relationship. A person influencing this house will not make them your romantic ‘type‘… But there’re other benefits to be gained from 2nd house synastry in a relationship context. Like physical attraction, comfort, security, and an increased feeling of self-worth. If the synastry is positive our ‘stuff’ (which includes our body) feels valued, useful, and relevant, within that relationship. The other person wants what you have. It’s a very confirming, secure type of feeling.

THE 11TH HOUSE IS THE HOUSE OF LOVE RECEIVED AND APPRECIATION

The 11th house represents group friendship, but it also represents how others can make you feel special and adored. The 11th house represents the crowd or the people, and is naturally opposite our 5th house. The 5th house represents our heartfelt self expression before others, as well as who inspires us passionately in this expression. Our muse if you will. And the stage on which we express what is special to our hearts. As such, the 11th house theoretically represents the audience to our personal ‘performance’ in the world. The symbolism of the 11th house reveals the response we are looking for from others, and what behavior gives us feelings of approval, and acceptance. Put another way, the 5th house may show who we fall in love with, and what we express… But the 11th house reveals the people who fall in love with us, who are our number one fans. The 11th house reveals the type of people we are able to captivate with our 5th house charisma. We give our passion through the 5th house. And receive the appreciation from others through the 11th house. Think of it like a theater. The stage and the performance is symbolized by the 5th house. And the audience and the applause (or lack there of) is symbolized by the 11th house. When people positively influence our 11th house through synastry and overlays, it’s as if they know just the right way to treat us to make us feel important and loved. People who influence our 11th house make us feel that what we have to express is worthy of applause. Like we are accepted and valued for our uniqueness, and welcomed into the fold of that person’s life.

As with the 5th, 7th and 8th houses, look at the sign of the cusp, and the condition of it’s ruler by sign, house, and aspect… synastry and overlays involving these houses will activate these themes in a relationship.

posted November 18, 2012 12:00 AM            

My confusion was in this he has capricorn as the 8th house, so the ruler is Saturn. His saturn falls in her 2nd house . Does that mean his 8th house is not activated? Or her 8th house is not activated?Just got a little muddled understanding the ruler aspect.

What does this chart say about their energies? They have a lot of planets in each other's 7th houses. But is it significant?
Pl. help me understand.
Thanks.

posted November 18, 2012 01:20 AM            

quote:

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I think it's just a crapshoot in general where relationship astrology is concerned, and that nothing is guaranteed.

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posted November 18, 2012 02:04 AM            

THE HIDDEN INDICATORS OF ATTRACTION…

After looking the obvious indicators of romantic attraction, as is shown directly by the 5th ,7th and 8th houses, I’ll start examining the HIDDEN INDICATORS OF ATTACTION in the person’s chart…

Our SECONDARY 5th, 7th and 8th house cusps…

Just as we all have the PRIMARY 5th , 7th and 8th house cusps in our chart, which we all know about, there are also other houses in our chart which function as secondary versions of these houses. A backup, if you will, that provides extra information about our tastes in that area of life… These ‘backup’ houses are called SECONDARY HOUSES, and I’ve found, they can be amazingly revealing in terms of our romantic tastes when scrutinizing the secondary 5th, 7th and 8th house cusps and rulers…

I’ll continue to explain this using the Dsc as an example. But remember that EVERY house in your chart (including the 5th and the 8th ) has another secondary house that functions in a supplementary way regarding the theme that house.

Here’s how it works… (Using the Dsc as an example)

Every sign in the zodiac is naturally linked (on a symbolic level) to a certain house cusp in our chart… Aries is linked to the 1st house, Taurus is linked to the 2nd house, Gemini is linked to the 3rd house, Cancer is linked to the 4th house, and so on….

So if you want to know which of the house cusps in your chart are symbolically linked to your Dsc… look at the sign of the 7th house cusp (our PRIMARY 7th house), and then find the house in your chart that is symbolically linked to your Dsc cusp sign. For example, if you have a Pisces DSC look at the 12th house. In the case of a Pisces Dsc, the 12 house will revel supplementary information about who you are attracted to, and who you have chemistry with. Also look at planets in the 12th, the sign of house ruler, and how this ruler is aspected. In another example, if you have an Aquarius Dsc look at your natal 11th house for extra clues on what you like in partnership. For a Capricorn Dsc look to the 10th house. For a Virgo Dsc look at the 6th house. For an Aries Dsc look at the 1st house, and so on through the zodiac….

The house symbolically linked to the DSC sign is the ‘SECONDARY DSC’ and it can function as an extension of the 7th house….. In terms of what you attract, what type of partnership experiences you have, and what you look for in a partner…. It’s like the secondary Dsc is an ECHO of the primary or original natal 7th house…. The first time an echo bounces it is the clearest and the loudest…. And this echo is shown by the house symbolically linked to the sign on 7th house cusp…

Looking at it in another way… People with an Aries Dsc look for others who ‘energize’ their personality and self assertion…. So when a partner places planets in Libra or Scorpio in this persons 1st house, it will feel like natural partnership material for them. Same thing for people with a Gemini Dsc… They look for those who will energize them in the area of communication…. So when people put planets in this person’s 3rd house of communication, it also brings to the fore issues of partnership… And for people with a Sagittarius Dsc, they look for others that they can share their beliefs with, and explore with, both mentally and physically… So when people put planets into this person’s 9th house it inspires them to want to join forces with this person… And as you can guess it continues like this on through the zodiac using Dsc signs…

FOR ANYONE STILL CONFUSED ABOUT LOCATING THE ‘SECONDARY DSC’…

Here’s a list of the house cusps to look to as an extension of your DSC for each rising sign. These house cusps are symbolically linked to the sign on your DSC… showing what other traits you are attracted to in others, apart from just what the DSC alone shows.

Aries rising, Libra DSC… The 7th House has double importance.

Taurus rising, Scorpio DSC… Look to the 8th House.

Gemini rising, Sagittarius DSC… Look to the 9th House

Cancer rising, Capricorn DSC… Look to the 10th House

Leo rising, Aquarius DSC… Look to the 11th House

Virgo rising, Pisces DSC… Look to the 12th House

Libra rising, Aries DSC… Look to the 1st House

Scorpio rising, Taurus DSC… Look to the 2nd House

Sagittarius rising, Gemini DSC… Look to the 3rd House

Capricorn rising, Cancer DSC… Look to the 4th House

Aquarius rising, Leo DSC… Look to the 5th House

Pisces rising, Virgo DSC… Look to the 6th House

Can you see the pattern now?

Celebrity examples…

Ryan Reynolds has late Virgo rising, with a Pisces Dsc. His secondary 7th house is the 12th house. So he’s attracted to Pisces and 12th house energy in his love life. He married Blake Lively who has a stellium in early Virgo (Sun, Mercury, Venus, Mars, and possibly the Moon) all falling into Ryan’s 12th house… Blake’s Asc is unknown, so we can only guess as to why she was attracted to Ryan.

Angelina Jolie has her planets falling in Brad Pitt’s primary 5th 7th and 8th houses. Brad has Sagittarius rising with Gemini on the 7th house cusp, Aries on the 5th house cusp, and Cancer on the 8th house cusp. Angelina has Sun/Mercury in Gemini, Moon/Mars in Aries, and Venus in Cancer. From Angelina’s side, she has Capricorn on her Dsc. This matches Pitt’s Capricorn Moon/Venus energy, but not his Sagittarius Sun… Well, Angelina’s secondary Dsc is her 10th house cusp. She likes 10th house energy in her love life because of her Capricorn Dsc. Angelina has Jupiter in Aries conjunct her Mc… And Brad is a Sag Asc/Sun ruled by his Jupiter also in Aries…

Katie Holmes has Leo rising with Aqua on the DSC. She likes Aquarius and 11th house energy in her love life. Tom Cruise’s Sun falls in Cancer in her 11th house… Tom Cruise has Scorpio rising with a Taurus DSC. He likes Taurus and 2nd house energy in his love life. Katie’s Sun falls in Sagittarius in his 2nd house. (I know they’re divorced now, but since they were married in the 1st place I’m keeping the example)

Since Tom and Katie are now divorced, lets have a look at their exes, and how they fit into this pattern as well.

Before Tom, Katie was engaged to Chris Klein who had his Sun in Pisces in her 8th house, his Mars in Pisces in her 7th house, and his Venus in Aquarius in her 6th house but in the sign of her Dsc. Plus his Mercury in Aries trines her 5th house ruler Jupiter. He doesn’t hit her secondary Dsc (the 11th house) but since he has his planets in her primary 7th and 8th houses this isn’t necessary for attraction to occur.

Tom has previously been married to Nicole Kidman, and had a several year long relationship with Penelope Cruz.

With Nicole, her Sun in Gemini was in Tom’s primary 8th house, and her Moon in Sagittarius was in was in Tom’s 2nd house. His secondary 7th house due to his Taurus Dsc. So Nicole's Moon is in Tom's secondary 7th house.

Interestingly, from Nicole’s side she has the same Asc as Tom (Scorpio), giving her a Taurus Dsc. Her 2nd house is her secondary 7th house as well. In Nicole’s case, she has the Moon in her second house (the previously mentioned Sagittarius Moon) which adds an attraction to Cancer/Moon types to her profile. Naturally, this is part of why she fell for Tom (a Cancer Sun), and her current love Keith Urban (He has a Cancer Asc, and a Cancer Moon). Also Keith is a Scorpio Sun (Tom’s Asc) and Nicole’s Pisces 5th house cusp ruler Neptune is in Scorpio.

With Penelope, she very much influenced Tom’s primary 7th, and 5th houses. Her Sun in Taurus was smack in his 7th house, and her Pisces Venus and Jupiter were in his 5th house.

From Penelope’s side, she her chart shows an attraction to Tom both in a very obvious primary way, and in a secondary Dsc way. She has a Cancer rising, with a Capricorn Dsc, and her Dsc ruler Saturn is in Cancer (Tom’s Sun sign). Her 5th house cusp is Scorpio (Tom’s Asc). Penelope’s Capricorn Dsc means she likes Capricorn and 10th house energy in her love life. Her 10th house cusp is Aries, ruled by Mars in Cancer (Tom’s Sun sign again). And, Penelope’s Sun in early Taurus falls at the end of her 10th house, adding an attraction for Leo/Sun people to her profile. Both Tom and Javier Bardem (Penelope’s current husband) have Moon in Leo. Speaking of Javier, his Venus/Saturn conjunction in Aries falls into her 10th house (and thus her secondary 7th house). The combination of Venus and Saturn also symbolically matches her Capricorn Dsc. Javier is a Pisces Sun, and this resonates with Penelope’s Neptune in the 5th house, as well as her Pisces Venus.

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With these examples hopefully you can see how house overlays, and also the signs showing up in the partners chart, are further explained by the secondary Dsc. Also look at aspects from the partner’s chart to the Secondary Dsc ruler to further explain your chemistry with that person.

This same pattern can be used on all your other house cusps including the 5th and the 8th if you are interested in looking more deeply into your romantic tastes….

Using myself as an example…. I’ve got Aries on the 5th house cusp, so when people put planets in my 1st house there’s also a romantic overtone added to this overlay. Along with the typical 1st house themes of strengthening my identity, and personal presence… This maybe because with my 5th house cusp being in Aries, these types of issues press my ‘romantic excitement’ buttons, so to speak. Having my sense of identity strengthened and acknowledged by another would feel more exciting and ‘romantic’ for me, then average, because it brings the themes associated to my 5th house cusp sign to ‘life’.

Funnily enough, I get a similar type of experience if someone else’s natal Mars strongly aspects my chart, and also I tend to notice them more if their Mars is strongly aspected with in the context their own chart as well. Like if a person has Mars conjunct the Sun for instance. Or if they have their Mars strongly aspecting my important parts of my chart….

Again, I think this is part of the ‘echo’ that comes from the primary natal 5th, 7th and 8th houses… And by ‘echo’ I’m referring to those relationship connections that include, and also go beyond, direct 5th, 7th and 8th house overlays (which we are all traditionally taught to see as the be all and end all of relationship synastry and overlays)… You have to stretch you mind a little to see these ones. But with practice you'll start to notice some repeating themes, similar to what I’ve written above.

posted November 18, 2012 02:27 AM            

No, seriously, thank you so much for your expertise/research and for sharing it with us~ Lotis White

I'm very much still at my introductory phase in understanding synastry and composites (draconics,and transits), there all Greek to me still. *which is sad, if they really were Greek I should understand it all so much better... anyway.

I've read through everything in this thread several times today alone and it is only 2AM,... but, since I recently happened upon the birth information for someone of particular interest to me, and started to test out synastry reading, I can't tell you how invaluable it's been~! Mostly everything I've come across online hasn't stuck, or had enough detail to make a clear idea to work from, or worse yet used astro-lingo that I'm just not ready for... I even contemplated looking into if they have a synastry book for dummies out there somewhere... haha

Just getting my feet wet, but after going through everything here has definitely helped make the picture so much clearer in the charts I've been comparing. I desperately needed that~ so thanks again.

posted November 18, 2012 02:51 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by SaturnineMoth:
ahh~ now I get it! ~epiphany~lol

No, seriously, thank you so much for your expertise/research and for sharing it with us~ [b]Lotis White

I'm very much still at my introductory phase in understanding synastry and composites (draconics,and transits), there all Greek to me still. *which is sad, if they really were Greek I should understand it all so much better... anyway.

I've read through everything in this thread several times today alone and it is only 2AM,... but, since I recently happened upon the birth information for someone of particular interest to me, and started to test out synastry reading, I can't tell you how invaluable it's been~! Mostly everything I've come across online hasn't stuck, or had enough detail to make a clear idea to work from, or worse yet used astro-lingo that I'm just not ready for... I even contemplated looking into if they have a synastry book for dummies out there somewhere... haha

Just getting my feet wet, but after going through everything here has definitely helped make the picture so much clearer in the charts I've been comparing. I desperately needed that~ so thanks again.

[/B]

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posted November 18, 2012 03:33 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by rajin:
Hi Lotis,
Your article makes for a very interesting read. It is very thoughtful and it looks like you have studied it in-depth to gain such a good insight on the subject.
I got a little confused. Hope you can resolve it.
I am posting a synastry chart.

My confusion was in this he has capricorn as the 8th house, so the ruler is Saturn. His saturn falls in her 2nd house . Does that mean his 8th house is not activated? Or her 8th house is not activated?Just got a little muddled understanding the ruler aspect.

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Here’s what I see. He has a Capricorn 8th house cusp. Her Moon is in Capricorn falling into his 8th house. Her Capricorn Moon is activating his 8th house. His 8th house IS activated.

Also, his 8th house cusp is ruled by Saturn in Taurus. To see if his 8th house is ‘activated’ again we look to see how his Saturn is aspected by her planets…

The synastry image above shows that his 8th house is indeed activated again because his Saturn in Taurus is sextiled by her Mars in Pisces. Mars aspecting the 8th house ruler is a good sign. Mars is about passion.

His 8th house ruler falling into her 2nd house is also an indication that he is desirous of what she has. This would be very supportive of any physical attraction indicated elsewhere in the synastry.

quote:

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Originally posted by rajin:
What does this chart say about their energies? They have a lot of planets in each other's 7th houses. But is it significant?
Pl. help me understand.
Thanks.

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posted November 18, 2012 04:47 AM            

------------------
Sun in Virgo conjunct Venus ( 11th House )
Moon in Libra
Rising sign Libra

Honesty is Confidence - Hoodie Allen

posted November 18, 2012 06:36 AM            

thank you for pointing out the importance of 2nd and 11th house as well!

Esp, the 2nd house is very undervalued I think, but it has a lot to do with our identity (how we give ourself in physical or even sexual terms), and I find that my 2nd house ruler depicts my own behaviour in regard to approaching sensual or sexual relationships more closely than the 1st house ruler, thought he 1st house ruler is very descriptive of my overall personality.

1st house ruler is Jupiter in Pisces in 3rd.
2nd house ruler is rx Saturn in Cancer in 8th btw.

Another thing, how would you weigh in the Black Moon aspects in the planetary attraction aspects?
I find her to be important, but at the same time not easy to grasp.

Let`s say a guy`s Venus is sextiles a girl`s Sun and Mercury and conjunct her BML exactly. Would it matter? I feel it does, but was wondering about what you think.

Another thing I have observed is that oftentimes people relate to aspects that relate to their natal relational symbolism.

Example:
My 7th house ruler is Mercury in Sagittarius in 1st house.
I feel that for me 1st house synastry feels more romantic than for many other people, and I have observed that Mercury and Jupiter-aspects in synastry are very personal to me.

Also, the ruler of my 8th house is in Aquarius. And for some reason Uranus aspects feel very intimate to me.
Since I have Moon in Aquarius, I really love Moon-uranus-aspcts, even the square! The square never feels threatening to me, just exciting and actually makes me feel "understood".

Another example:
A guy I know of has Uranus in 7th house and a mutual reception of the rulers of 7th and 11th house, Venus in 11th house sextile Uranus.

his girlfriend has a big stellium in Aquarius (Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, Jupiter - I kid you not!), and their synastry is sextile-riddled (well,the phase of Aquarius relates to the closing sextile in phasal relationships), and they even have some difficult Uranus aspects.

His Uranus squares her Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, Jupiter.

There is a bit of space in their relationship, as they often work in different cities; but as far as I`ve known there haven`t been any break-ups or infidelities on either part. They have been in a relationship for 7 years now I think.

I suspect that the fact that they both have strong Uranus-accent in their relational pattern, makes them really well suited to each other and even thrive on the Uranus-squares that might make anyone else run the opposite way.

In the same respect I think a 3rd house, 6th house, 12th house, 9th house can feel surprisingly romantic and attractive to someone, who has a connection between these houses and Venus, 5th, 7th or 8th house.

posted November 18, 2012 09:37 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ceridwen:
Lotis,

thank you for pointing out the importance of 2nd and 11th house as well!

Esp, the 2nd house is very undervalued I think, but it has a lot to do with our identity (how we give ourself in physical or even sexual terms), and I find that my 2nd house ruler depicts my own behaviour in regard to approaching sensual or sexual relationships more closely than the 1st house ruler, thought he 1st house ruler is very descriptive of my overall personality.

1st house ruler is Jupiter in Pisces in 3rd.
2nd house ruler is rx Saturn in Cancer in 8th btw.

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Your welcome. Interestingly, I once watched something on YouTube where this one astrologer talked about how the 2nd house is how we behave when it comes to physical intimacy, while the 8th house is actually more about how we want our partner to behave. Similar to how the 1st house is our personality/ while the 7th how delineates our partner’s personality. The 2nd house/ 8th house dynamic is about physical intimacy and comparing resources, while the 1st house/ 7th house dynamic is about temperament, and comparing people’s general worldview.

I think this makes sense. My second house cusp is Capricorn, ruled by Saturn in Virgo, and I am a rather conservative girl. Not unaffectionate. Just very fussy. Ha ha!

My temperament is definitely more in tune with my 1st house… Sagittarius Asc, ruled by Jupiter in the Cancer in the 7th, and Venus and the Sun in the 1st. I tend to be cheerful and polite. I emphasize the positive and ’make nice’ with people.

With your 5th house cusp in Taurus I get how your have a special appreciation for the 2nd house!

quote:

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Originally posted by Ceridwen:
Another thing, how would you weigh in the Black Moon aspects in the planetary attraction aspects?
I find her to be important, but at the same time not easy to grasp.

Let`s say a guy`s Venus is sextiles a girl`s Sun and Mercury and conjunct her BML exactly. Would it matter? I feel it does, but was wondering about what you think.

---

There was a thread I did on The BML a while back. I got curious about it and did some research. Here’s part of what I came up with…

***
I’ve just started taking more of an interest in The Black Moon Lilith, and here’s the impression that I’ve got so far…

The Black Moon is the apogee of the Moons orbit, the point that is farthest from the earth. While the Moon itself represents something safe and familiar that gives us a feeling of security, the point of orbit for the Moon that is farthest form the earth itself (The Black Moon Lilith) is more like an anti-Moon… And opposite to the Moon in symbolism in many ways… It represents something dark, scary, and unknown but also fascinating.

In terms of image for women, the Moon represents what type of girl feels safe, familiar, nurturing, and vulnerable to a guy… Basically the good girl that he can trust, wants to marry, and protect and take care of… The girl who will (in theory) respect, and look up to him… The Moon supports the Sun and follows his lead… She is the Mother/Wife archetype…. Trusted, known, safe, innocent… (Now if a guy has a challenged Moon, his idea of what feels ‘safe’ and ‘familiar’ about a girl might be messed up… But that’s a whole other thread).

Lilith is the opposite… The women who is unfathomable, dangerous, rebellious and sexual… Here rather then the Wife/Mother (Moon), or even the Beautiful Maiden/Girlfriend (Venus)… You have the mistress, the forbidden lover, the hooker, the ’bad girl’, and the manipulative witchy vixen…. A women who’s unpredictable, mysterious, and probably into something dark or taboo… Like black magic… She might be a scandalous b!tch… And yet she has an unattainable kind of allure about her… She’s like a guilty pleasure….

In terms of women’s roles… The Moon is the girl a guy wants to protect, Venus is the fair beauty the he goes wild for, Neptune is ethereal glamour ideal that enchants him… And if the Lilith does say something about a guys taste in women, it probably relates to what type of girl is like a secret guilty pleasure for him… Bewitching, but dangerous or unattainable somehow.

***
Personally, I have limited experience with Lilith in synastry so I’m still in my early stages of figuring it all out. I’m not sure I’d be able to give that much of a good synastry interpretation of The BML at this point. But I do suspect she is significant…

What I can say is that natally I have the averaged BML at 27 Gemini opposite my Venus at 29 Sagittarius, and oscillating BML at 5 Cancer opposite my Sun at 5 Capricorn. I’m no ‘bad girl’, and actually take pride in my steady, trustworthy nature, but…. In a way I suppose I am kind of spooky. I’ve always been interested in things like psychic phenomena, astrology, and other metaphysical stuff like that. Stuff that many people consider to be mysterious, and unknown. I think that ties in really well with the symbolism of Lilith, as being connected to secret, unfathomable, and yet fascinating things. I also think Lilith is a rather wily and insightful little astrological point. She has a clever way of figuring out things in a covert kind of way… The BML seems to be a very Scorpionic-like influence. When it comes to attraction between the sexes The BML seems to relate to attraction to those who appear to be enigmatic, mysterious, forbidden, allusive, dark, crafty, wily, fascinating, and a little bit spooky or scary. They attract you but also sort of give you the creeps. You’re not sure if they’re playing a game with you or not, and they keep you guessing. There could be a sort of ‘Cat and Mouse’ type of scenario here, where no one is really sure who is the cat and who is the mouse. I think the Lilith person is capable of seeming like the mouse, and then turning out to be the cat.

Personally, even though I've got Lilith strong in my chart, I’m not into games. But if this point were to manifest in a negative way, I can see how it could turn into that type scenario. In my case I’m just kind of nosey and crafty about finding out things. I feel I still have a long way to go to completely understand The BML, so the jury's still out.

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ceridwen:
Another thing I have observed is that oftentimes people relate to aspects that relate to their natal relational symbolism.

Example:
My 7th house ruler is Mercury in Sagittarius in 1st house.
I feel that for me 1st house synastry feels more romantic than for many other people, and I have observed that Mercury and Jupiter-aspects in synastry are very personal to me.

---

So true! ANY house can be ‘romantic’ if our astrological symbolism indicates it. Where our 5th, 7th, and 8th house rulers fall, and where our secondary 5th, 7th, and 8th, houses are, definitely impact our taste. My Dsc ruler Mercury is in Sagittarius in the 12th house, conjunct the Asc. I’ve noticed that I like both 1st and 12th house synastry, and I seem to find Neptune/Venus aspects really attractive.

My secondary 7th house is the 3rd, and to me there’s always been something kind of ’magic’ and interesting about people putting planets in my 3rd house or aspecting it’s ruler. It attracts me.

With you, the 1st and the 2nd houses could feel quite 'romantic', with the 5th and 7th house rulers sitting in the 1st, and your 5th house cusp falling into Taurus.

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ceridwen:
Also, the ruler of my 8th house is in Aquarius. And for some reason Uranus aspects feel very intimate to me.
Since I have Moon in Aquarius, I really love Moon-uranus-aspcts, even the square! The square never feels threatening to me, just exciting and actually makes me feel "understood".

Another example:
A guy I know of has Uranus in 7th house and a mutual reception of the rulers of 7th and 11th house, Venus in 11th house sextile Uranus.

his girlfriend has a big stellium in Aquarius (Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, Jupiter - I kid you not!), and their synastry is sextile-riddled (well,the phase of Aquarius relates to the closing sextile in phasal relationships), and they even have some difficult Uranus aspects.

His Uranus squares her Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, Jupiter.

There is a bit of space in their relationship, as they often work in different cities; but as far as I`ve known there haven`t been any break-ups or infidelities on either part. They have been in a relationship for 7 years now I think.

I suspect that the fact that they both have strong Uranus-accent in their relational pattern, makes them really well suited to each other and even thrive on the Uranus-squares that might make anyone else run the opposite way.

In the same respect I think a 3rd house, 6th house, 12th house, 9th house can feel surprisingly romantic and attractive to someone, who has a connection between these houses and Venus, 5th, 7th or 8th house.

---

I can relate. My 8th house cusp is Cancer, ruled by the Moon in Cancer also in the 8th house… Aspects to my Moon feel very intimate, and show how I’m able to reach a deeper level with somebody…

In the beginning of an attraction, I tend to look more for the characteristics of my 5th, and 7th houses. My 5th house energy being Aries/Leo, and My 7th house energy being Gemini/Sagittarius… I’ll fall for someone initially for their passionate, outgoing, charming nature and their sense of humor. But in order to actually bond with that person, in a complete way… I need some Cancer/Scorpio watery type qualities in a guy. I like men with fire Sun’s the most, particularly Aries and Sagittarius, but a watery Moon aspecting my Moon is like a big relief. It gives me permission to be myself, relax, and let my barriers down around that person. I particularly love Moon/Moon aspects, and with my 8th house ruler being in Cancer that makes sense. Other planets in positive aspect to my Moon are nice too.