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Author
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Topic: Venus square pluto----scared of a real relationship?
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Rosalind
Knowflake Posts: 3063
From:
Registered: Mar 2011
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posted December 18, 2013 09:32 AM
  
The answer is simple. Yes. Its true. and its true because we fear that the person doesn't love us or may lose it and end up again alone.
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StrandedSaturn
Knowflake Posts: 92
From: Death Valley, CA
Registered: Dec 2013
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posted December 18, 2013 10:15 AM
Venus Square Pluto gives the native a burning possessiveness if they like someone. They are all too aware of how bad this can get, and so they try to make sure the person is even worth the trouble. They can kind of develop a bitter attitude after many failed relationships, these however were no doubt a way to prepare them to be mature and wait, being patient is a thing they don't have they want a person of their desire RIGHT NOW. However, they learn after a while that admitting this gives the other person complete control, and that in the end the sad truth is that you have to be vulnerable to hurt to be in a relationship, something they do not want any part of. Another thing is, they can be attracted to .. let's say... gothic romance stories or something of the like. Tales of heartbreak, dramatic music etc. They have a dark flair for arts and also controversial art. Scared of a relationship? They can scare the people they like away, in fact I'd say men with this aspect especially can intimidate women, without even trying to. The women can sense the danger in them. They know this which only makes them feel more alienated and bitter. They may feel like ''I didn't ask to feel this intensely about love'' and get caught up in a pity party which ultimately only makes things worse. They'll respect an honest straight forward lover. If you lie to them or make them not trust you, you can forget about it. Also count on them to keep the relationship mostly secret from family and friends. Don't be mad it means they care about it enough. They can be violent if you make them jealous. IP: Logged |
Violets
Moderator Posts: 3887
From:
Registered: Apr 2011
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posted December 18, 2013 10:16 AM
Too many dp today.  IP: Logged |
Rosalind
Knowflake Posts: 3063
From:
Registered: Mar 2011
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posted December 18, 2013 10:19 AM
quote:
Originally posted by StrandedSaturn:
Venus Square Pluto gives the native a burning possessiveness if they like someone. They are all too aware of how bad this can get, and so they try to make sure the person is even worth the trouble. They can kind of develop a bitter attitude after many failed relationships, these however were no doubt a way to prepare them to be mature and wait, being patient is a thing they don't have they want a person of their desire RIGHT NOW. However, they learn after a while that admitting this gives the other person complete control, and that in the end the sad truth is that you have to be vulnerable to hurt to be in a relationship, something they do not want any part of. Another thing is, they can be attracted to .. let's say... gothic romance stories or something of the like. Tales of heartbreak, dramatic music etc. They have a dark flair for arts and also controversial art. Scared of a relationship? They can scare the people they like away, in fact I'd say men with this aspect especially can intimidate women, without even trying to. The women can sense the danger in them. They know this which only makes them feel more alienated and bitter. They may feel like ''I didn't ask to feel this intensely about love'' and get caught up in a pity party which ultimately only makes things worse. They'll respect an honest straight forward lover. If you lie to them or make them not trust you, you can forget about it. Also count on them to keep the relationship mostly secret from family and friends. Don't be mad it means they care about it enough. They can be violent if you make them jealous.
This. I have Venus in Leo square Pluto in Scorpio.
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StrandedSaturn
Knowflake Posts: 92
From: Death Valley, CA
Registered: Dec 2013
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posted December 18, 2013 10:23 AM
Let me also say that they despise any kind of superficial relationship. If they know someone is in one or has superficial relationships they lose respect for them as a person and thus may distance themselves depending on their chart.They themselves can get caught up in lust and then what follows that is self hatred and guilt. If you ever see one ''sleazing'' it you can believe they aren't having a good time as it seems. IP: Logged |
Rosalind
Knowflake Posts: 3063
From:
Registered: Mar 2011
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posted December 18, 2013 10:25 AM
quote:
Originally posted by StrandedSaturn:
Let me also say that they despise any kind of superficial relationship. If they know someone is in one or has superficial relationships they lose respect for them as a person and thus may distance themselves depending on their chart.They themselves can get caught up in lust and then what follows that is self hatred and guilt. If you ever see one ''sleazing'' it you can believe they aren't having a good time as it seems.
Exactly.
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Violets
Moderator Posts: 3887
From:
Registered: Apr 2011
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posted December 18, 2013 10:26 AM
I have the opposition.  I had to find the right person to not feel uncertain and unstable in my relationship. And yes, when I realized how important and deeply connected our relationship was in the beginning, I did run for my life. But I realized I was running away from something because it was unfamiliar territory (he loves me for who I am on a soul level, not for what I can do for him on a physical level, and vice versa). I have definitely scared a few guys off with my...uhm...intensity. Yep. *facepalm* IP: Logged |
StrandedSaturn
Knowflake Posts: 92
From: Death Valley, CA
Registered: Dec 2013
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posted December 18, 2013 10:26 AM
What happens here is: Venus falls in love and Pluto is there to say ''is this real what is this? don't trust this, can you trust this?'' and that's always a battle going on with this aspect. Pluto tears down everything it comes into contact with in a hard aspect and in this case, that means love. They may only learn after several of these times of tearing things down and rebuilding them. IP: Logged |
Violets
Moderator Posts: 3887
From:
Registered: Apr 2011
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posted December 18, 2013 10:29 AM
I had to wait until T Pluto squared my natal Venus for any of this to take place. That was monumental for me. I'm very thankful for that transit.IP: Logged |
StrandedSaturn
Knowflake Posts: 92
From: Death Valley, CA
Registered: Dec 2013
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posted December 18, 2013 10:30 AM
To get one of these people you have to convince them that everything is really okay. They believe all relationships are superficial mostly. and thus that makes them feel alienated and like no one is genuine except them. The jealousy isn't just with their current lover either, they can be jealous of other people they see as ''happy'' they'll immediately think ''they are just faking that happiness''but secretly they'll want that too. But not if it's not genuine.IP: Logged |
HPDBlue
Knowflake Posts: 93
From: Pluto's shoes
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted December 18, 2013 04:34 PM
I've pluto Q venus, does that count? lolIP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 9937
From: Uranus
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted December 18, 2013 05:11 PM
I have Venus square Pluto and in the past I would have answered no to this but I'm starting to realize I am guilty of pushing away people who love me. In high school I had two girls who were crazy about me and pushed both of them away. I was attracted to both of them and liked them a lot but I was freaked out when they expressed real feelings for me. This could also be a result of my aqua placements wanting to stay free and independent but Pluto definitely adds to the problems. I also have moon opposite Pluto, moon square Venus, and Venus square mars. I guess I'm a lost cause when it comes to healthy relationships.lolIP: Logged |
Violets
Moderator Posts: 3887
From:
Registered: Apr 2011
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posted December 18, 2013 05:31 PM
^ I actually know what you mean. I always attributed the "love of the chase" to my Venus in Aries, and the drama in my relationships to Plut/Venus opposition. But apparently they just worked together to make my past relationships...not superficial by any stretch, but certainly not based on a deeper, more spiritual love.If I thought someone actually liked me for who I was, I was kind of repulsed. It was almost like they had to NOT like me in order for me to take interest, or to only like one thing in particular. There was always a sort of dysfunctional type of love in those relationships, and they were long-lasting (too long, in retrospect). But it still took some major transits for me to look at it from a different perspective. And yes...I recoil from people who come across as shallow, for the most part.
I have a lot of undesirable aspects in my chart, but this one is probably one of my absolute least favorites. IP: Logged |
IMoppedtheFloor
unregistered
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posted December 18, 2013 05:47 PM
I think all the talk of Venus-Pluto despising real (or imagined) superficiality is run-off from the Scorpio tie-in (the association between Pluto and Scorpio). In general I noticed that heavily Scorpionic people have a misguided sense of emotional superiority where depth is concerned. "Look at me I'm screaming and crying and cutting myself I MUST feel things deeper than you do YOU ARE ALL SO SHALLOW!"If I had a dollar for everything someone Scorpionic has babbled that "I despise surface level things I AM SO DEEP" I'd be one rich fudrucker. I can sorta speak on this because I'm part of that crew myself with Venus parallel Pluto so it's not like I'm pitching rocks at a team I'm not a member of. But honestly? I haven't noticed people with Venus-Pluto placements as being any more profound or deep, in love or in other things, than anyone else, same for other Scorp placements. A guy I know with Venus opposite Pluto (who made a pretty good show of pretending he was into me), seemed pretty lala-headed and even kind of ditzy to me - the male equivalent of a bimbo, albeit a sweet (and very aesthetically pleasing) one. I have noticed though that they tend to have a harder time getting control of their emotions and they're usually the ones to make a dramatic emotional scene in a room that was entirely unnecessary and make everyone else in the room extremely uncomfortable. Again, I have Pluto Moon myself so it's not like I'm idly slamming other ppl, this stuff applies to me too although with my Uranus on the angle and Aqua ascendant I'm not quite as bad as it can get with that. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 9937
From: Uranus
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted December 18, 2013 05:51 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Violets:
^ I actually know what you mean. I always attributed the "love of the chase" to my Venus in Aries, and the drama in my relationships to Plut/Venus opposition. But apparently they just worked together to make my past relationships...not superficial by any stretch, but certainly not based on a deeper, more spiritual love.If I thought someone actually liked me for who I was, I was kind of repulsed. It was almost like they had to NOT like me in order for me to take interest, or to only like one thing in particular. There was always a sort of dysfunctional type of love in those relationships, and they were long-lasting (too long, in retrospect). But it still took some major transits for me to look at it from a different perspective. And yes...I recoil from people who come across as shallow, for the most part.
I have a lot of undesirable aspects in my chart, but this one is probably one of my absolute least favorites.
well with me it's like a bunch of negative emotions come to the front when someone actually has feelings for me. I sometimes experience fear, revulsion and guilt all at the same time. The fear is that I will lose my freedom and/or get hurt in the process. The revulsion is a reaction to their intense feelings for me. The guilt comes from feeling responsible for that person and having power of them. The last one is what scares me the most. A big part of me is scared of being depended on by a woman and letting her down. When I am the one pining over someone I don't feel responsible for the other persons emotional well being because I'm the one with feelings. It's not real but it's safe.IP: Logged |
IMoppedtheFloor
unregistered
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posted December 18, 2013 05:56 PM
I think Earth signs are actually the most profound and deep - when they take the time to stop chasing after money and material things and stop focusing on practical issues for longer than two seconds. Some of the stuff that comes out of them is mindblowing, so even though the textbooks always pin that on scorpio and pluto placements I'm going to have to disagree with that because I dont think I've ever really seen a profound pluto/scorp person. Ive seen them all self-proclaim that but I've never heard anything come out of them that was truly deep.IP: Logged |
Ellynlvx
Knowflake Posts: 10239
From: the Point of Light within the Mind of God
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted December 18, 2013 06:05 PM
I have the Conjunction as a chart Ruler. I never took it in for many years, but it is true. I go WAY overboard and push people away. Especially if I like them a lot. I once read that it was because you know deep inside that you can NEVER be one with another forever. That relationship role can only be fulfilled within oneself, as a personal welcome for the Higher Guardian Angel. The Higher Self. When you turn that intensity to the Source, that's really the best way. Of course, Polarity keeps us all alive. IP: Logged |
Odette
Moderator Posts: 4584
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted December 18, 2013 06:26 PM
RAS - How do you think things will play out when my Sun in Aries is square his Venus in Capricorn and opposite his Pluto in Libra (in synastry)?Also, early next year - transiting Pluto will conjunct his Venus (Cap).. transiting Uranus will conjunct my Sun (Aries)... and transiting Jupiter in Cancer - will turn the whole thing into a grand cross (with his natal Pluto in Libra being the last point of the grand cross).
I think this happens in late February. I'm curious.. how would you interpret this?
Is it going to explode - or just get more intense? O_O I do have a natal Venus/Pluto opposition (he has he square, as I was saying..) - but our Venus/Pluto are not in close aspect.
The only aspect is a 2' deg orb sextile from my Pluto (Scorpio) to his Venus (Capricorn). IP: Logged |
RunAroundScreaming
Moderator Posts: 8139
From:
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted December 18, 2013 09:42 PM
I hear ya ^I run away when someone has real feelings for me too. But feel comfortable when it's unrequited. It even applies to me in friendships sometimes IP: Logged |
King1
Knowflake Posts: 39
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted December 18, 2013 10:08 PM
quote:
Originally posted by RunAroundScreaming:
I hear ya ^I run away when someone has real feelings for me too. But feel comfortable when it's unrequited. It even applies to me in friendships sometimes
lol this is not Venus-Pluto... but its your libra rising :-D IP: Logged |
DialecticLady
Knowflake Posts: 373
From:
Registered: Sep 2013
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posted December 18, 2013 11:15 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Violets:
I have the opposition. I had to find the right person to not feel uncertain and unstable in my relationship. And yes, when I realized how important and deeply connected our relationship was in the beginning, I did run for my life. But I realized I was running away from something because it was unfamiliar territory (he loves me for who I am on a soul level, not for what I can do for him on a physical level, and vice versa). I have definitely scared a few guys off with my...uhm...intensity. Yep. *facepalm*
Cool Violets! Do you have some 12th house synastry with him? IP: Logged |
Violets
Moderator Posts: 3887
From:
Registered: Apr 2011
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posted December 18, 2013 11:20 PM
quote:
Originally posted by DialecticLady:
Cool Violets! Do you have some 12th house synastry with him?
Haha. Yes, his Sun, Venus, and Vertex are all conjunct and in my 12th.
My NN is conjunct his Neptune in 12th, and my Neptune is in his 12th as well (loosely conjunct).  IP: Logged |
DialecticLady
Knowflake Posts: 373
From:
Registered: Sep 2013
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posted December 18, 2013 11:47 PM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
The revulsion is a reaction to their intense feelings for me.
Can you say more about this please? I can't understand "the revulsion thing". IP: Logged |
DialecticLady
Knowflake Posts: 373
From:
Registered: Sep 2013
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posted December 18, 2013 11:56 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Violets:
Haha. Yes, his Sun, Venus, and Vertex are all conjunct and in my 12th.
My NN is conjunct his Neptune in 12th, and my Neptune is in his 12th as well (loosely conjunct).
When I read "soul level love" I thought "it MUST be 12th house something" hahaha! thanks  IP: Logged |
bansheequeen
Knowflake Posts: 569
From: Beachville, USA
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted December 19, 2013 09:19 AM
Good to knw as the guy I'm interested in has this aspect! And I can sense it in him too. He's so scared of getting close but he yearns for it. I am this way as well, but I just go for it. **** it, if it ends bad then I'll either get destroyed or pick up the pieces. I have venus sextile pluto so not too heavy on my end haha. So I'm not sure how to deal with someone like this, or if I can even hope to get him out of this shell and keep him from feeling like running. ?IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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