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Author
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Topic: Venus square pluto----scared of a real relationship?
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StarlightSmileSupreme
Knowflake Posts: 9029
From: neptune
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted December 19, 2013 09:23 AM
  
My personal experience with this aspect? It's difficult for them to love because of what they experience in the past. They need to let go of their past and transform their nature through love.IP: Logged |
bansheequeen
Knowflake Posts: 569
From: Beachville, USA
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted December 19, 2013 09:41 AM
quote:
Originally posted by foxxyxo:
classic venus square pluto for ya, how awful because from the vibe and sound to her songs makes it seem as though she had a husband who died on her or something, or her whole family died, but to make albums about one guy she never was in a relationship with....wow, this aspect must be torturethats actually what i thought when i first saw her music vid, i thought her husband died or he cheated on her or something. like how other way could this woman be so sad
I can relate haha. When I fall I fall hard hard hard. I want to live and breathe the person. Crawl in their skin. Be intimate while grabbing their face and looking deep into their eyes. Etc. Literally can not stop thinking about him. Yet I am paralyzed when they are actually in front of me. Something about the themes of death relating to love just seem more real? Like that is the love I am capable of for someone if they would just tap into it and not be afraid. So when I do see someone and have feelings for them in any way, I kind of like get tuned into that part of me. Because I want to feel love to the deepest edges and I can in fantasy or through art. When I love someone it's painful for me. I would do anything for them. Die if I have to. Cut myself open and bleed if they asked me. But that's how I know I love them. I don't have a hard aspect though. I have a pretty easy one. I think this is just me as a person speaking. IP: Logged |
nikki01
Knowflake Posts: 187
From: neptune
Registered: Feb 2012
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posted December 19, 2013 01:38 PM
i know a woman with venus sextile pluto..claims she doesnt want to be in a relationship..
I have the square..i chase what i cant have but when i get them its like i never wanted them lol...when they play hard to get im in it againIP: Logged |
nikki01
Knowflake Posts: 187
From: neptune
Registered: Feb 2012
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posted December 19, 2013 01:51 PM
quote:
Originally posted by bansheequeen:
I can relate haha. When I fall I fall hard hard hard. I want to live and breathe the person. Crawl in their skin. Be intimate while grabbing their face and looking deep into their eyes. Etc. Literally can not stop thinking about him. Yet I am paralyzed when they are actually in front of me.Something about the themes of death relating to love just seem more real? Like that is the love I am capable of for someone if they would just tap into it and not be afraid. So when I do see someone and have feelings for them in any way, I kind of like get tuned into that part of me. Because I want to feel love to the deepest edges and I can in fantasy or through art. When I love someone it's painful for me. I would do anything for them. Die if I have to. Cut myself open and bleed if they asked me. But that's how I know I love them. I don't have a hard aspect though. I have a pretty easy one. I think this is just me as a person speaking.
you hit the nail on the head.. This is soooo me i have the square...just dont know how to express it dumb struct when they in front of me but i can express over texting IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 9937
From: Uranus
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted December 19, 2013 02:27 PM
quote:
Originally posted by DialecticLady:
Can you say more about this please? I can't understand "the revulsion thing".
Idk how to describe it really. it's like part of me really wants my feelings to be reciprocated by her but if she does it feels weird and unnatural to me and I freak out. IP: Logged |
bansheequeen
Knowflake Posts: 569
From: Beachville, USA
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted December 19, 2013 06:39 PM
Yeah it's way more than I could ever even hope to be able to express. It's a hunger. It's pain. But it's the best. I'm just so afraid of expressing it, because I haven't met anyone that can match my intensity in love. Or maybe we are all that afraid.I think because pluto is all about transformation, maybe people with harsh aspects just are trying to learn from these experiences so that they can hope to be more open and unafraid one day. If the push pull you all describe is because of fear of rejection and that the person won't add up, rather than because you really just wanna be away. Though I know pluto can drive someone in the opposite direction as well. All the messed up crazy relationships I've been in has made me more cautious but at the same time less afraid. Because I've been driven to the point of trying to kill myself. And I'm still here. So I will survive somehow. Though maybe when I do find the REAL thing I won't have any hope of surviving. But that's fine too. I'd rather be consumed. Right now my life is meaningless. IP: Logged |
Violets
Moderator Posts: 3887
From:
Registered: Apr 2011
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posted December 19, 2013 07:27 PM
Eh...I was always consumed by some sexually charged, emotionally volatile relationship when I was younger (not really that long ago, honestly). I naturally assumed that every relationship should read like a Bronte novel or a David Lynch film. And those were the types of relationships I had, with people who were of the same inclination.I assumed that sex and passion (including anger and jealousy) with a dash of friendship were love, and that anything more emotional or pleasant than that was for smurfs or something. It's still kind of a hard pill to swallow sometimes, but I'll always be grateful that my definition of Love was expanded and explored to a deeper level. IP: Logged |
Enneline
Knowflake Posts: 1285
From:
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted December 19, 2013 07:30 PM
I have venus square Pluto and I am a supposed run away bride but I would say that I just haven't met the one yet  IP: Logged |
Ltownboogie
Knowflake Posts: 104
From: USA
Registered: Jun 2013
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posted December 25, 2013 02:35 PM
I love this thread. I have Pluto(Scorpio) Square Venus (Aquarius), and I can relate to somehow pushing those away that I have feelings for. This is generally done COMPLETELY subconsciously though.For Example: When getting to know someone, on the day after the first time we met each other, I completely unleashed all of my baggage. I just laid out the fact that I was recently divorced, had a crazy ex, didn't live extremely close to him, had a child, etc.. In the moment I thought "If I am going to have any kind of real thing with this guy, he needs to know these things".. I thought I was doing us both a favor, but then realized afterward that it just probably came off as really crass. In other cases I just seem to thoroughly embarrass myself on one of the first couple of dates when I feel like I may be interested in that person. Again, totally subconsciously.. IE: Getting too intoxicated (Pisces sun in the 8th house here) and saying or doing something embarrassing. I can also relate to all of the pluto, obsessive, power, talks. I am highly Plutonian though, and have Venus Square Mars as well, which I'm sure affects all of the above behaviors. The bottom line is that I am not afraid of a relationship. I am afraid that the intense feelings that I have will not be reciprocated, and therefore (although subconsciously) tend to ruin the chances I have right from the get-go, generally. IP: Logged |
ash20
Knowflake Posts: 698
From:
Registered: Mar 2013
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posted December 25, 2013 04:38 PM
If i wanted to keep a guy with this aspect would i have to play hard to get all the time? .. And how to get someone with this aspect to come back to you? Would it be ok to tell him i feel like i need him and that i hate when we're not talking? Or would that make him feel like he has the upper hand and can do as he pleases with me???Im so in love with him and i can't let him go, even if he's mean to me sometimes. Any advice? IP: Logged |
Violets
Moderator Posts: 3887
From:
Registered: Apr 2011
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posted December 25, 2013 05:34 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Ltownboogie:
I love this thread. I have Pluto(Scorpio) Square Venus (Aquarius), and I can relate to somehow pushing those away that I have feelings for. This is generally done COMPLETELY subconsciously though.For Example: When getting to know someone, on the day after the first time we met each other, I completely unleashed all of my baggage. I just laid out the fact that I was recently divorced, had a crazy ex, didn't live extremely close to him, had a child, etc.. In the moment I thought "If I am going to have any kind of real thing with this guy, he needs to know these things".. I thought I was doing us both a favor, but then realized afterward that it just probably came off as really crass. In other cases I just seem to thoroughly embarrass myself on one of the first couple of dates when I feel like I may be interested in that person. Again, totally subconsciously.. IE: Getting too intoxicated (Pisces sun in the 8th house here) and saying or doing something embarrassing. I can also relate to all of the pluto, obsessive, power, talks. I am highly Plutonian though, and have Venus Square Mars as well, which I'm sure affects all of the above behaviors. The bottom line is that I am not afraid of a relationship. I am afraid that the intense feelings that I have will not be reciprocated, and therefore (although subconsciously) tend to ruin the chances I have right from the get-go, generally.
Hahahahaha! Also Pisces Sun in 8th here, and I can so relate. I also generally dump all of my baggage around the second encounter, if I like them. And there is A LOT to tell people, and it's probably quite scary for "normal" guys.
Thankfully (or not), I'm not very attracted to "normal", so there have been quite a few who didn't mind my baggage, had plenty of their own, and we just entered into a sort of bizarre, unspoken agreement. I also used to really use that raw, Pluto/Venus energy to my advantage. That energy can really draw people in, I think. I did scare off a couple of smart, attractive guys who probably could have dealt with my crazy life story, but not the crazy jealousy/insecurity.
But that's okay. My husband took it all in stride, and I took his crap in stride. Instead of a dysfunctional agreement, we try to become better people with each other.  IP: Logged |
bansheequeen
Knowflake Posts: 569
From: Beachville, USA
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted December 25, 2013 06:29 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Ltownboogie:
I love this thread. I have Pluto(Scorpio) Square Venus (Aquarius), and I can relate to somehow pushing those away that I have feelings for. This is generally done COMPLETELY subconsciously though.For Example: When getting to know someone, on the day after the first time we met each other, I completely unleashed all of my baggage. I just laid out the fact that I was recently divorced, had a crazy ex, didn't live extremely close to him, had a child, etc.. In the moment I thought "If I am going to have any kind of real thing with this guy, he needs to know these things".. I thought I was doing us both a favor, but then realized afterward that it just probably came off as really crass. In other cases I just seem to thoroughly embarrass myself on one of the first couple of dates when I feel like I may be interested in that person. Again, totally subconsciously.. IE: Getting too intoxicated (Pisces sun in the 8th house here) and saying or doing something embarrassing. I can also relate to all of the pluto, obsessive, power, talks. I am highly Plutonian though, and have Venus Square Mars as well, which I'm sure affects all of the above behaviors. The bottom line is that I am not afraid of a relationship. I am afraid that the intense feelings that I have will not be reciprocated, and therefore (although subconsciously) tend to ruin the chances I have right from the get-go, generally.
Wow I am super interested right now in someone with that aspect in those signs  So I am totally stalking this thread. Though weirdly I can really relate to all of this. I used to dump all my baggage out until I learned some restraint so now I do the whole draw them in and make them ask thing. Very calculated and some may even call it manipulative x.x but meh. Because I realize that even if they would have gone that far with me, unloading my baggage too early might make them still freak out. But I still try to do ti early enough so they know what they're in for.... I need someone that can be THAT intense with me and the way I look at it, if theyre the type of guy to get scared off, then they can't handle it. End of story. IP: Logged |
dadoo
Knowflake Posts: 393
From: Mercury
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted December 25, 2013 07:41 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Violets:
I had to wait until T Pluto squared my natal Venus for any of this to take place. That was monumental for me. I'm very thankful for that transit.
I wish I had taken advantage of that square too. We must have had it at the same time.
I obviously haven't and this aspect is still messing with my relationships big time. As far as I'm concerned, I kind of get an "I reap what I sow" feeling out of it, but I have nothing to say in my favor when I look back on the collateral damage. IP: Logged |
whaaat
Knowflake Posts: 288
From: Portland, MA,U.S
Registered: Jun 2013
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posted March 27, 2014 01:45 AM
.IP: Logged |
RunAroundScreaming
Moderator Posts: 8139
From:
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted March 27, 2014 09:06 PM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Idk how to describe it really. it's like part of me really wants my feelings to be reciprocated by her but if she does it feels weird and unnatural to me and I freak out.
Yes this, exactly. It's like i suddenly feel suffocated like no no youre being clingy!!
And also yes to the person who said that bc of this aspect they felt real love could only be raw and passionate sex. I changed my mind about that one, though. ------------------
Cancer: eternally the mother of the zodiac... ebay compatibility readings | testimonials | Past readings | Ideal compatibility (3rd post) | Q&A | What's a Love stellium? | Most important aspects descriptions | Aspects to avoid | Guide to Chinese Zodiac Appearance | The Order in Astrology IP: Logged |
pocaloca
Knowflake Posts: 490
From:
Registered: Dec 2013
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posted March 27, 2014 09:37 PM
I would come to this one tomorrow ...promise xIP: Logged |
pocaloca
Knowflake Posts: 490
From:
Registered: Dec 2013
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posted March 28, 2014 07:23 PM
quote:
Originally posted by bansheequeen:
.....When I fall I fall hard hard hard. I want to live and breathe the person. Crawl in their skin. Be intimate while grabbing their face and looking deep into their eyes. Etc. Literally can not stop thinking about him. Yet I am paralyzed when they are actually in front of me.Something about the themes of death relating to love just seem more real? Like that is the love I am capable of for someone if they would just tap into it and not be afraid. So when I do see someone and have feelings for them in any way, I kind of like get tuned into that part of me. Because I want to feel love to the deepest edges and I can in fantasy or through art. When I love someone it's painful for me. I would do anything for them. Die if I have to. Cut myself open and bleed if they asked me. But that's how I know I love them.
Spot on bansheequeen. I am Venus square Pluto and that what you describe is exactly how I feel when in love...Its very painful Funny thing is that I am a perfect woman for a man I dont love deeply, but for those I feel strong for I am a torture cos I cant show it no matter how badly I want to. IP: Logged |
pocaloca
Knowflake Posts: 490
From:
Registered: Dec 2013
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posted March 28, 2014 07:31 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Ltownboogie:
I love this thread. I have Pluto(Scorpio) Square Venus (Aquarius), and I can relate to somehow pushing those away that I have feelings for. This is generally done COMPLETELY subconsciously though.For Example: When getting to know someone, on the day after the first time we met each other, I completely unleashed all of my baggage. I just laid out the fact that I was recently divorced, had a crazy ex, didn't live extremely close to him, had a child, etc.. In the moment I thought "If I am going to have any kind of real thing with this guy, he needs to know these things".. I thought I was doing us both a favor, but then realized afterward that it just probably came off as really crass. In other cases I just seem to thoroughly embarrass myself on one of the first couple of dates when I feel like I may be interested in that person. Again, totally subconsciously.. IE: Getting too intoxicated (Pisces sun in the 8th house here) and saying or doing something embarrassing. I can also relate to all of the pluto, obsessive, power, talks. I am highly Plutonian though, and have Venus Square Mars as well, which I'm sure affects all of the above behaviors. The bottom line is that I am not afraid of a relationship. I am afraid that the intense feelings that I have will not be reciprocated, and therefore (although subconsciously) tend to ruin the chances I have right from the get-go, generally.
!!! wow!!!...yes damn it, 100 percent.
I turn very nasty and uncontrolled with those I feel for.Like I want to show the ugliest sides of my persona..I even turn to be a beast I am not actually, total stranger even to myself doing things I would not usually..like I want to scare and **** off the object of my desire. 
IP: Logged |
Dancing Maenad
Moderator Posts: 1838
From: The Harvest
Registered: Mar 2014
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posted October 08, 2014 12:14 PM
Ha.. This actually explains a lot. ------------------
~the raving one dancing in the nude~ IP: Logged | |
Lindaland
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