posted June 24, 2013 11:56 AM            

We work in the same office and we got to know each other when our mutual friend invited the two of us for drinks together. After a few sessions, one night we decided to go for supper together after getting really drunk and he drove us back to his place. I didn't want to sleep with him so i said no and i wanted to go home. So he was dropping me back to my car when we started making out and the alcohol got the best of me and we went back to my place and had sex. After sex we cuddled and he asked me if I wanted to go on a holiday with him and he was very sweet. He left the next morning since we needed to be at work and he texted me that it was fun and if we can do it again.

The next week, we went for drinks again and we left separately but he followed my car to my house. He was reluctant when we got there since he had a lot to do the next day, but he came over and we had sex again. This time he didn't stay over and was going to leave right after. I was kinda hurt by it. We were having a smoke before he left and then he started to tell me about the major problems he was having with his family and how he was so mad and upset with everything going on. He made me promise not to tell anyone. We sat for awhile talking about it and he eventually left.

After that things got weird. I would ask him out and he would always say he had plans or he was tired. But every time we see each other in the office, he would stare at me intensely. I kept trying to ask him out or make conversations with him and he wouldn't budge.

Last week, we were texting (again initiated by me) and he said he was nearby and if i was free to come out now. We bought some drinks and went to the park to drink it and he told me honestly that he made up that he had plans to avoid me cos he was afraid i wanted something more from him. I told him I didn't (i lied) and he said that he didn't want a relationship. He also asked me if i told any of our coworkers about his family problems because he thought people were suddenly being extra nice to him. I told him i didn't and it was not my story to tell. We had a really great and open conversation that night but most of the time we were talking about him. I called him a player when he told me he has been with many women and he said he wasn't. But he told me about how he has slept with 3 girls in the same day. He also said i should stop getting jealous around him (which i have been) and i told him i couldn't help it and he said fine he understands cos he would get jealous if it happened to me too. We slept together again that night and it was amazing.

I didn't text him the whole week and i was hoping he would text me first. But i always lose this battle and end up texting him first. I asked him if he wanted to catch a movie and he said he was busy with his family.

posted June 24, 2013 12:06 PM            

Don't fool yourself.
He explicitly told you that he doesn't want a relationship with you.
And he's proving it by his actions.

He likes women.
Plenty of 'em.
You know that, right?
There's no place for a relationship in his life.
He wants to have his fun.

So either you two stay FWB or you stop seeing him and move on.

It sounds like you want a relationship, and unfortunately, he can't give you that.

If I were you, I'd fix some boundaries for myself.

It's about the sexy times, and you can take it or leave it, but don't try to change it.

Cause Scorpio men (actually, men in general) play on their own terms.

posted June 24, 2013 12:53 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by happyaskings:
Yes, he is using you for sex. No, there is no chance of a relationship.
Sorry.

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posted June 25, 2013 04:39 AM            

He very specifically told you he doesnt want a relationship with you. No mixed signals, no mixed feelings. He has already made what he want clear. Whether he is a Scorpio, a Libra, a Taurus- he is a man who told you that he doesnt want a relationship with you.

The only thing he wants is sex, and believe me if sex isnt great, next time he finds a girl who has a better chemistry with you, he's not gonna even want sex with you.

I know you are thinking that yeah he may not want a relationship right now, but if i stick around he may change his mind etc etc. I think this pattern barely ever happens with men. The thing that is bound to happen is to ultimately have a relationship with somebody else.

Somebody mentioned Scorpionoc mind games above, but he isnt even playing a game. He told you he doesnt want a relationship and assuming fro what you told us you arent teens or in your early twenties, you are both grown up people.

Telling him you arent looking for a relationship and at th e same time getting jealous around him, only shows to him that you do want a relationship, and Scorpios are pretyy intuitive and feel what other people really feel so he probably feels you want something more and obviously doesnt care about it.

posted June 25, 2013 05:12 AM            

Therefore, by including you in his "family dramas and problems" and asking you to keep it a secret and trying to make you feel special. He is counting on that building an emotional closeness from you to him, that simply isn't reciprocated from him to you.

If he genuinely wanted anything other than a sexual relationship with you, he would reply to your texts, even initiate sometimes, and actually accept your invitations to dinner and or other activities.

You had a long conversation that revolved mostly around him? Well that tells me he is only interested in himself and has no desire to find out anything about you.

He's slept with 3 different girls in the same day? If he isn't in a relationship, and neither were they, I don't see anything that should be wrong with that. It's not what society considers normal but each to their own, just hope everyone is clean of stds and safe.

He poked to see if you cared by telling you to stop being jealous, you admitted you were, this tells him that he has you hooked emotionally and can carry on getting what he wants.

Does he just want you for sex? Chances are he doesn't want you for anything. He probably only gets in touch when he isn't or cannot get sex from his other FWB.

He is emotionally manipulative, immature, self focused, and not interested in anyone but himself.

It is totally up to you, what you do. Just make sure that you understand fully what you choose to do and the potential consequences either way. I wish you the best.

I'm a Male Venus in Scorpio by the way, not the same, but I think it is probably one of the few Male perspectives and opinions you might get.

posted June 25, 2013 05:28 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Swift Freeze:

He is emotionally manipulative, immature, self focused, and not interested in anyone but himself.

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I totally agree with your whole post, except for that part. How is he manipulative? He was pretty clear about what he thinks of a relationship with her-he doesnt want one.
I wish more men were upfront like that, cause then so much drama would be avoided.
I think the definition of a manipulative man is far from what she described. If he really was manipulative he would leave things in a vague way, in order to confuse her and make her believe there are chances he wants something more. Instead, he made clear he doesnt want a relationship, and his actions are in accordance with his words, since he doesnt initiate texting first and replies negatively to her invitations for a movie.

Im far from defending men, in fact I have been surrounded by douche-bags, but I think it's a bit unfair to call someone manipulative when they have stated what they want.

posted June 25, 2013 11:09 AM            

Have sex them run and hide.

Wait a few more years until their annoying transits get better.