posted July 24, 2013 04:47 PM            

I have noticed that “soft” is often interchanged with “good” just like “hard” is with “bad”. Meaning people tend to associate soft aspects with positive influence and hard aspects with negative influence. I am finding that to be a very inaccurate approach.

Here’s an example – Saturn. All aspects to this planet seem to incorporate its traditional negative qualities including trines and sextiles. It’s just that the conjunction and the hard aspects are stronger.

I’ve found this tendency to see things as good and bad extremely prominent in synastry. When people see an abundance of squares they run, when they see an abundance of trines they rejoice.

I’m a bit befuddled about how to interpret aspects now. It seems like subjectively any aspect can be portrayed as worst or best.

How do you decide when an aspect will work positively or negatively? I think it’s very dependent on the person or people’s maturity level in regards to dealing with a certain aspect.

posted July 24, 2013 06:14 PM            

Hard aspects are good for action and growth, but there's a price to pay - that of peace / serenity.

If you want change, something has to happen to make you want that change.. If everything were always good and easy peasy, no one would ever question anything, there'd be no evolution and no room for growth / development.

And conversely for flowing aspects - they're supportive and make you feel content with the way things are, but sometimes it gets boring and too predictable, like things are stagnating.
So it's easy to take things for granted and basically not even notice the "good" anymore.

posted July 24, 2013 08:15 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by meyray:
I think it’s very dependent on the person or people’s maturity level in regards to dealing with a certain aspect.

What soft aspect have you seen to have a negative influence and what hard aspect have you seen to have a positive one? Share experiences about both natal aspects and synastry aspects.

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Doux Reve: Big thumbs up to everything you said!

Meyrey: Yes, maturity makes a HUGE difference. I think the same aspect can be used different ways and oftentimes are at various points in a person's life. It all comes down to choice -- and I believe that how we make use of the energies in our chart is completely up to us.

I like to think of the chart as a sort of road map of your soul, but where you chose to go within it and what route you chose to get you from where you are to where you want to be is really up to you. Most people aren't aware that a map even exists or are skeptical of its accuracy, but if you have one and know how you can use it, it's of great value.

Same goes for relationships: cultivate, reject, learn and move on, etc. This one is a little trickier only because two people need to make choices and sometimes they choose different things. That would be like having a traveling companion with a different agenda. How will you both handle that? Compromise or split up? Split up and get together again? Go from point A to point B, split to explore, meet up and go together to point C, split to explore, meet up and continue to point D, ad infinatum. Yep, choices! Got to love 'em!!!

posted July 24, 2013 09:43 PM            

Channeling and Invigorating!

posted July 24, 2013 10:15 PM            

Hard aspects challenge us and generate change. Here we find drama, energy, excitement, problems, disruption, and hard work. Hard aspects require us to get involved and DO something about what’s going on around us. With hard aspects circumstances often conspire to push us into activity and resolve some type of conundrum. Hard aspects promote enthusiasm and incentive for growth, but too many can be stressful and draining.

IN SYNASTRY…

An excess of hard aspects are said to make a relationship too exhausting. But how much is too many will depend on the individual. Some will have a higher tolerance then others. That’s because hard aspects require EFFORT. In relationships hard aspects bring disagreement, negotiation, and compromise. They also bring excitement, drama, motivation, and challenge. If you have a hard natal chart this can indicate a higher tolerance for hard synastry, as it’s natural for you to function this way anyway. Although, it’s also true that some with hard charts appreciate it when parts of their hard configurations get relief from some nice sextiles or trines. People who have more soft charts natally, generally have a lower tolerance for hard aspects in synastry, although, sometimes they actually need them to get pulled out ruts, and to be challenged towards growth that they otherwise wouldn’t have aspired to. One or two hard aspects should be sufficient for this. Four or five might too exhausting for those with mainly soft charts. Then there are those will a balance of hard and soft aspects, my guess is these types do better with a good balance of both soft and hard aspects.

The general rule for synastry from most astrologers that I’ve studied is that it’s preferable when the majority of aspects are soft, with some spice added in from a few hard aspects. High soft aspects mean contentment, stability, and agreement. The theory is that if we agree with our partner we’ll like each other more, and are more likely to want to stay in the relationship. Low hard aspects mean that there’ll also be a bit of effort, change, and excitement, in the relationship to keep things interesting. Here, the theory is that there’ll be enough challenge in the relationship to promote growth, but not so much that we become tired of dealing with constant issues, and become discontent with the situation. Which would decrease the likelihood of a lasting relationship.

In terms of hard vs. soft aspects in synastry, most people have there own individual ratio that they personally need in relationships. Usually this involves more soft aspects then hard aspects, with some people needing more or less hard aspects depending on their own nature.

It also depends on what planets you’re willing to work on ‘issues’ with in a synastry. What’s worse, Saturn Square Venus, or Uranus square Venus. Each one will bring different sets of issues to the relationship, that will require both partners to bargain and compromise with each other.

posted July 25, 2013 05:29 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Lotis White:
Soft aspects tend to make us satisfied with the status quo. They generate stability, contentment, peace, harmony, simplicity, and ease. Everything flows smoothly without any hiccups, or issues. Soft aspect are a nice relief when we just need some serenity, and freedom from stress in life. Here we’re usually pleased with the direction of events. Soft aspects refresh us and make life pleasant, but too many to lead to boredom and stagnation.

Hard aspects challenge us and generate change. Here we find drama, energy, excitement, problems, disruption, and hard work. Hard aspects require us to get involved and DO something about what’s going on around us. With hard aspects circumstances often conspire to push us into activity and resolve some type of conundrum. Hard aspects promote enthusiasm and incentive for growth, but too many can be stressful and draining.

IN SYNASTRY…

An excess of hard aspects are said to make a relationship too exhausting. But how much is too many will depend on the individual. Some will have a higher tolerance then others. That’s because hard aspects require EFFORT. In relationships hard aspects bring disagreement, negotiation, and compromise. They also bring excitement, drama, motivation, and challenge. If you have a hard natal chart this can indicate a higher tolerance for hard synastry, as it’s natural for you to function this way anyway. Although, it’s also true that some with hard charts appreciate it when parts of their hard configurations get relief from some nice sextiles or trines. People who have more soft charts natally, generally have a lower tolerance for hard aspects in synastry, although, sometimes they actually need them to get pulled out ruts, and to be challenged towards growth that they otherwise wouldn’t have aspired to. One or two hard aspects should be sufficient for this. Four or five might too exhausting for those with mainly soft charts. Then there are those will a balance of hard and soft aspects, my guess is these types do better with a good balance of both soft and hard aspects.

The general rule for synastry from most astrologers that I’ve studied is that it’s preferable when the majority of aspects are soft, with some spice added in from a few hard aspects. High soft aspects mean contentment, stability, and agreement. The theory is that if we agree with our partner we’ll like each other more, and are more likely to want to stay in the relationship. Low hard aspects mean that there’ll also be a bit of effort, change, and excitement, in the relationship to keep things interesting. Here, the theory is that there’ll be enough challenge in the relationship to promote growth, but not so much that we become tired of dealing with constant issues, and become discontent with the situation. Which would decrease the likelihood of a lasting relationship.

In terms of hard vs. soft aspects in synastry, most people have there own individual ratio that they personally need in relationships. Usually this involves more soft aspects then hard aspects, with some people needing more or less hard aspects depending on their own nature.

It also depends on what planets you’re willing to work on ‘issues’ with in a synastry. What’s worse, Saturn Square Venus, or Uranus square Venus. Each one will bring different sets of issues to the relationship, that will require both partners to bargain and compromise with each other.

Here I’m talking about squares and oppositions vs. sextiles and trines. Conjunctions are hard in the sense that they have a very potent impact, but they tend to provide agreement rather then disagreement. The issue with conjunctions is intensity, rather then conflict resolution. They can be hard or soft depending on what planets are involved, and how we personally feel about having those planets fused in a relationship. Some people might actually be fine with a Venus/Saturn conjunction depending on their own natal chart, although there’ll be a lot of people out there that would dislike this combo. Personal taste and our own charts are so important when it comes to how we feel about one synastry versus another.

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I agree with what you said.
The hard aspects tend to turn the volume/ intensity up quite a bit, and it very much depends which planets are aspected.
But in my observation it is usually the hard aspect that make you pay attention.
A synastry full of trine and sextiles might feel wonderfully smooth and harmonious, just that you probably will not even notice that much.
You need some hook to draw you in and that is usually some of the hard aspects, and then something that makes it worthwile to stay; that can be either hard aspects, cause you really want that level of excitement and intensity, or the soft aspect because they are like the soft cushion you like to cuddle into and just feel comfortable and well with.

I also always check back with the natal charts, if I see hard aspects between relationship planets and outer planet especially.
If I see a synastric Venus-Uranus-square or opposition or even conjunction, I check to see what comes up in the natal. Has one person, or both, Venus in strong aspect to Uranus? Uranus conjunct the DESC-ruler or in 7th house?
Or has she Venus in Capricorn square Pluto? (my placement, which explains why despite all excitement of Venus-Uranus, it doesn`T work for me in relationships, whereas SAturn-aspects, even squares and opositions, are not that much of a problem).

Like here http://theinnerwheel.com/2009/09/21/synastry-studies-the-inner-script/

I disagree a little though, in that we do not grow out of Sun and Moon as what we are seeking in relationships, because we express it more ourselves. I don`t see why this should be an either - or - situation.
I can be living out my Sun and yet be attracted to it.
However, what is true is that maybe this neediness, this "you complete me, make me feel whole" feelings wanes a little, cause we might realize that we are already whole on our own, and whatever we react strongly to in the outside, is a reflection of what already is inside of us (or the polar opposite sometimes).

At least with the planets in terms of your partner image; it might be different with lacking elements for example or hemisphere-emphasis.
Something, btw, I think we underestimate quite a lot; I don`t see it talked about really in terms of relationships, but this is our first and basic orientation in the world, and I am sure it plays a role.
Or maybe it only does if ther are disbalances, as in my chart with SAturn being the only planet on the Western hemisphere; being the only planet in personal signs; the only planet in social houses (so he is a 3 times singleton. lol)

posted July 25, 2013 05:53 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Jkitty:
Oh, I just read this wonderful article on the phasal relationship between planets and how it impacts the interpretation of an aspect. This might help:
http://theinnerwheel.com/2010/10/08/first-steps-phasal-relationships/

Hmmm. It appears my "girl planets" are chasing my "boy planets", but they are about to get burned by squares and oppositions.

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thanks for bringing this article back to my memory. Actually I have the book by Jeffrey GReen, too.

In my case, I am a waxing-kind of girl, aspect wise.

Pluto 9 Libra
Venus 6 Capricorn
- waxing applying square

Mars 5 Sag
Venus 6 Cap
- waxing separating semisextile

Sun 26 Sag
Moon 17 Aquarius
- waxing applying septile

Well the last twos are minor aspects of course.

posted July 25, 2013 06:15 AM            

quote:

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The Third Quarter Moon Type (90-45’ behind the Sun); Keyword: Reorientation / future orientation, inventive and forceful

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posted July 25, 2013 06:27 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Doux Rêve:
And I'm a waning kind of girl, Ceri.

[QUOTE]The Third Quarter Moon Type (90-45’ behind the Sun); Keyword: Reorientation / future orientation, inventive and forceful

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We complement each other then.

posted July 25, 2013 07:02 AM            

quote:

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http://theinnerwheel.com/2010/10/08/first-steps-phasal-relationships/

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>Jkitty
>Ceridwen
>Doux Rêve

posted July 25, 2013 07:15 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Doux Rêve: http://www.northstarastrology.net/Moon.html

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Thanks for the article too, Doux! It was very thought-provoking.

quote:

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The New Moon Type (0-45’ ahead of the Sun): Keyword; Emergence / subjective and impulsive/projection of one’s personal concepts onto the world

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posted July 25, 2013 07:26 AM            

Neptune 22(50’) Capricorn
Mercury 22 (34’) Libra
waning applying square

Uranus 20 Capricorn
Mercury 22 Libra
waning separating square

posted July 25, 2013 07:29 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by meyray:
>Jkitty
>Ceridwen
>Doux Rêve

First thank you, Jkitty for the great article! I understand the concept but one thing confuses me. How do you define a conjunction as waxing or waning? Do you do it only by seeing if it's applying or separating?

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You have two planets, let`s say Pluto and Venus.

You view the slower one as fixed.
In this case Pluto. Then you check where is Venus?
Is it moving away from Pluto towards the opposing point?
Then it is waxing.

If it is between opposition and conjunction it is waning.

Example:

Pluto is in Libra.

Venus in Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius, Pisces, would be waxing.

Venus in Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo would be waning.

For Aries and Libra you have to take the degrees into consideration.
Pluto on 9 Libra, Venus on 6 Libra - waning.
Pluto on 9 Libra, Venus on 12 LIbra - waxing.

It is like the phases of the Moon actually.
Sun-Moon-conjunction is New Moon. If the Moon is moving towards fullmoon, it is waxing (gaining more and more light).

If it is moving away from fullmoon to New moon, it is waning - shrinking in light.

posted July 25, 2013 07:37 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ceridwen:
Like here http://theinnerwheel.com/2009/09/21/synastry-studies-the-inner-script/

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This is gold! Thank you so much Ceri! Where has this site been all my life?