posted April 25, 2014 05:49 PM            

I came back here today because I was being drawn as though a rope was tied to my heart, tugging me in. I questioned it even as I hit the number for the last page of these posts. ("But I'm too far behind! I have to catch up first! I don't have the time to pull together the chart info I was working on so that I can post that and THEN try to catch up!" yaddayaddayadda).

Regardless. I am here. I read your channeling. That is why I was drawn here.

No accidents. Ever. No coincidences. Ever.

And the 11:11's in my life over the past few days hit a peak last night at --- 11:11. (Two of them, right on top of each other.)

I've always "known" there is Karma, capital K, with Jace. Excuse me. He was my husband's BOSS. I met him while I was MARRIED to his EMPLOYEE. Is that not a karmic set-up? And it is becoming clear that we are probably not meant to unite in this timeline.

I also released Jace - again - recently. I do believe we were meant to brush up against each other. His soul saved me from a terrible marriage - because his soul knows my soul's plan and I wasn't following it. He helped to get my feet on the right path. Meanwhile, he is probably not following his soul's plan either. His numerological life path is a 7 - a spiritual path. He is focused on materialism and the trappings (the trap) of "success". (Oddly, my life path is an 8, material success. And I'm following a far more spiritual path. I've always thought that that was a telling joint choice for our two souls to make; each of us could have supported the other, had we been together.) But whatever he chooses or I choose, these choices/lessons also have to play out.

Bottom-line, I treasure this man's soul. I wish him the very best. I release him with love to live his own life and to learn what he is here to learn.

And I'm opening my heart to whatever the Universe presents to me for my Highest Good and Highest Learning. And New Guy appears to be a big part of this.

So New Guy isn't my Twin Flame. Nope. That one apparently wasn't in the cards. But there are too many connections - psychic, emotional, intellectual, intense physical attraction, and "soul familiarity", for this man to have simply stumbled blindly into my life. He is a high-level soulmate. I feel it. I know it. He does too and has said so in similar words.

The way we met has all of the marks of Divine Timing and Divine Provision. It simply would have been too easy to have missed each other. Missing each other was never in the Divine cards.

When we get out of our own way and surrender, miracles happen. When we stop pleading and asking and not just accept, but OFFER our entire situations to Source and then remain in faith that everything always works out for the best, miracles happen.

But this is a journey. Through amazement at these Twin Flame synchronicities/connections/soul calls. Through either rejoicing if a full reunion works out or bewilderment and pain if it doesn't. To, somewhere along the way, acceptance of What Is.

And part of What Is is that we are never really separated from our Twin Flames anyway. We're so focused on the physical reunion that celebrates the entire connection that we forget. Not only is the Twin Soul inside of us, it IS us. The Twin Flame is YOU. We are always connected. The connection can't be broken.

I'm not at the helm of the life of any other soul. Just my own. And at 54, it's about damn time I started owning and using everything I've been gifted and say "Thank You" with every iota of heart I have.

I guess this turned into my own kind of rant. It wasn't meant to be that. (And it isn't directed at any of "you". I so totally include my own experiences in all of this. I've done it ALL.) I simply "get" why I was pulled here. That message.

Life goes on. If we let it. Life is GOOD. If we EMBRACE it.

Thank you, Indigo.

posted April 25, 2014 06:00 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by tgem:
Sorry for the rant...please don't take it personally. It just hurts...bad..you know the feeling.... And apparently there's nothing more to do. Unfinished business will remain unfinished business...I guess.

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I do, actually. Your rant was completely understood - in every way. Don't apologise for honesty, or an unabashed expression of emotion; unedited feelings. I used to do that - I have for FAR too long.

I don't feel, on any level, that you business will be unfinished. I simply feel that you're ... inside a room of illusion. A version of you is running the projector that the rest of you sees. You like this vision - too much to give it up.

But you must. Unless you shut it off and view your environment as it TRULY exists, you won't realise what you're missing - the opportunity cost. Only once you've stopped creating the illusion, you'll see the time you've been wasting in this self-administered fantasy space - for yourself.

posted April 25, 2014 06:57 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by tgem:
WHO the HECK is HIM??!!

As in my real TF??!! Ok I get it, I get it ...maybe I am hiding...but what the HECK am I supposed to do? I live in a small town in which my reputation has gone down the crapper with all the people I used to associate with.. I've applied for like 20 jobs but yet can't seem to begin my life...so why am I even here? In this place? Why can't I just go home? To be with my family and friends that truly love me and care about me? Why do I have to be HERE?! In a place where I will inevitably have to face HIM??!! If the heavy karma is cleared, why does it still hurt so bad? And if he is on a different path then why is my name etched smack on top of his NN??!!

Can she tell me that? Anything? I feel like such a fool...

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NNODE connexions simply indicate that: a connexion. One was clearly made. It takes a bit more to indicate whether or not that connexion goes beyond what it presently is - or was.

Take my case.

MELETE (my surname) is conjunct his VALENTINE (0º20); AUBRIET is also rising (0º90). Believe it or not, his surname is also parallel my ASC (0º18).

But, I hear you say, 'of course there'd be such connexions with your name asteroids. He's your Twin Flame!'

Except he isn't. He's my Guardian.

Linkages I have with Fate are more in line with our given names and surnames being conjunct personal points in our natals, our given names being conjunct in synastry, and so on.

Your given name being conjunct Cusp's NNODE seems right in line with the relationship you've had. Whether that resumes in the future is yet to be determined by other factors.

We become 'stuck' in a place when we have karma there. But you may be blinded by the fact that Cusp is also there, incorrectly deducing that THAT's why you are, too.

Since you have karma together, it's likely you've both been drawn to that particular place - in which some of it began. But it seems to me that the part which the two of you had to play has come and gone. There's more for YOU to do now, and it doesn't involve him.

Choosing to be with a family - no matter how dull or volatile the marriage - is strong indication of unresolved karma all on its own.

Unfortunately, due to that whole free will thing, we can throw ourselves onto a whole new path. I know it's said that nothing can ever separate you from your Twin Flame because you simply 'are'. I feel that's true, somewhat, and we simply allow ourselves to fear a separation here in the material plane.

I know that what I feel, now, is that your time together has completed in phase. He's already generated negative karma from the way he treated you. It's not unrecoverable - but it'll take time and work. That time and work seems to be going into his marriage - for whatever reason.

That's his choice. For whatever reason. It's best to let it, and to accept it. My greatest unhappiness has stemmed from attempts to control what I can't.

Sometimes the best thing to remember is the locus of control; what we can control, what we can influence, and what lies outside of both.

Sadly, you have no control over Cusp. Actions have brought you both away from each other, but you're being 'directed' to stay in the location where you're presently living. That tells me it's the place you need to be near at this time. Not Cusp.

posted April 25, 2014 07:02 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by maira:
I think that you're a good medium, Indigo, and as I've said, you strike me as someone who is 'walking the walk'. Have you read "Conversations with God" by Neale Donald Walsch? It's really good, not as religious as one would expect

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posted April 25, 2014 07:03 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by maira:
...and a quote:

Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes.
Because for those who love with heart and soul,
There is no such thing as separation.
~ Rumi.

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posted April 25, 2014 07:56 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by micole maree:
Indigo,

I came back here today because I was being drawn as though a rope was tied to my heart, tugging me in. I questioned it even as I hit the number for the last page of these posts. ("But I'm too far behind! I have to catch up first! I don't have the time to pull together the chart info I was working on so that I can post that and THEN try to catch up!" yaddayaddayadda).

Regardless. I am here. I read your channeling. That is why I was drawn here.

No accidents. Ever. No coincidences. Ever.

...

I guess this turned into my own kind of rant. It wasn't meant to be that. (And it isn't directed at any of "you". I so totally include my own experiences in all of this. I've done it ALL.) I simply "get" why I was pulled here. That message.

Life goes on. If we let it. Life is GOOD. If we EMBRACE it.

Thank you, Indigo.

---

I don't have anything to add. It echoes what I've been thinking, feeling, and sensing everywhere - in everything. So, thank YOU, Michelle. I couldn't put it better myself.

posted April 26, 2014 12:03 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by tgem:
"Well he just has the Scorpio Asc eyes... it's a pretty distinct stare that seems like it could burn into your soul and know all your secrets lol. Also his mannerisms and even the way he dresses give an impression of wanting to be secretive or "hidden". It's hard to explain but even in casual situations Scoprio Asc's are defensive but sneaky about it, they'll try to understand your intentions before revealing their true thoughts/feelings. What makes you think your guy is a Scorpio Asc? I'd love to hear your thoughts!"

@FireMoon- yes he has that deep penetrating stare that wants to strip you down to your soul. His eyes are brown but a bit watery....yet that stare! Oh My! Anyway, he has dark features, dark hair. He's the type of person that can get very defensive, moody and is actually pretty
Sensitive. He can snap back on a dime when hurt even if it wasn't intentional. He's pretty private but wants to find out everything about you..good and bad. Does any of this sound like your Scorpio Rising?

The thing is he has a Pluto singleton in his chart which can give off that Scorpio energy. Not only that, he has a Cap stellium (sun, mercury, mars) so he gives off a lot of Cappy vibes as well. So it's hard to really pin down what his ASC really is, without knowing the exact birth time. However, after knowing him pretty closely for two years...my gut just yells Scorpio rising. I'd actually be shocked if he wasn't.

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Hey sorry again for the delayed response, but yeah a lot of that sounds like this guy too. I'd say he even prefers darker clothes and when it's casual will wear things like hoodies, sun glasses, etc... in his fb profile pics his face is almost always hidden in some way or not actually shown. I feel like internally he has this spy/secret assassin persona or fantasy lol

Interesting your guy has so much Cap... What's his moon sign?

posted April 26, 2014 12:14 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LeeLoo2014:
Hi, FireMoon, it seems you are meant to experience some intense things together, based on that composite. I was asking you about the Taurus/Scorpio axis because in the composite there is a rectangle formed by the two quincunxes that looks like a channel of energy and as I suspected, it activates his Mars and the Eros/Valentine conjunction in your natals (the median of the rectangle falls there). Are you guys into tantra or something similar? Because if you are not, I think you should be I also see a lot of Mercury connections in the synastry that make me think of the same thing.

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posted April 26, 2014 01:08 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by FireMoon:
Thanks LeeLoo, that makes sense... And I didn't really know anything about tantra at the time, but some of that just happened naturally... Not to be overly graphic but we'd give each other long massages with oils and all that lol and experimented with certain things. But the level of intimacy that could've brought scared me tbh so I held back to an extent. But now I see the potential... Although were not together right now or sleeping with each other, and who knows if we ever will again really..

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Tantra is actually a very different sort of thing. To be graphic, if there was orgasm - specifically, an ejaculation - it's not true tantra.

posted April 26, 2014 01:18 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by FireMoon:
Although were not together right now or sleeping with each other, and who knows if we ever will again really..

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posted April 26, 2014 10:52 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by IndigoDirae:
Tantra is actually a very different sort of thing. To be graphic, if there was orgasm - specifically, an ejaculation - it's not true tantra.

This is why a lot of people have a difficult time with actual tantra.

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Lol yeah it's really interesting... There's still a lot I don't know about it I just realize now there's the potential for some intense stuff with him I probably wasn't ready for earlier...

quote:

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Originally posted by IndigoDirae:
What happened?

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Well it's a long story but basically things were always off and on and he's with someone else right now. We've both dated other people in the past and remained friends but this time was really hurtful because we'd actually been in a position to try to make things work when he just jumped into a relationship with someone he'd basically just met and didn't bother explaining to me... So hence things ending on bad terms and us not speaking for over a year.

posted April 27, 2014 02:32 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by FireMoon:
Well it's a long story but basically things were always off and on and he's with someone else right now. We've both dated other people in the past and remained friends but this time was really hurtful because we'd actually been in a position to try to make things work when he just jumped into a relationship with someone he'd basically just met and didn't bother explaining to me... So hence things ending on bad terms and us not speaking for over a year.

Honestly I don't see it lasting between them but I don't know. We've talked and made apologies recently but it's nothing more than friendship-and even that is on shaky ground, so I'm definitely not expecting anything or trying to interfere in his relationship. I've just had to accept we'll probably never be together and that's fine. The weird thing is we should both be graduating this semester and moving on with our lives (neither of us have wanted to stay in this state/area) but we both find ourselves unable to do that financially and stuck here in this sort of limbo... And now he wants to work together on this freelance type of project, which I have no idea what to think about.. If it actually took off and was successful we'd be connected through it for a long time probably, and I don't know how staying "just friends" would play out. And idk if this is just his way of re-connecting or what his real intentions are either so yeah just trying to stay neutral about the whole thing and not start hoping or thinking irrationally lol

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I can certainly relate to the freelance project part, and being concerned at being connected to something long range. It's the same with Fate and I with the TV series.

In either case, when someone breaks away from someone else, especially when they have a soul connexion, they do so because THEY're not ready to take it further.

Fortunately, you're young and both of you seem to be tied to the location you're in at present - with the possibility of being tied together for even longer.

posted April 28, 2014 03:01 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ceridwen:
Indigo,

what do you think in my case?

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I'm a bit behind, but also surprised at the silence here!

posted April 28, 2014 03:29 PM            

The rest is silence.

posted April 28, 2014 03:30 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ceridwen:
I had an important holiday I think, but good?
No, I don`t think so.

What I mean is what do you feel about Mr Sag and me, why has he been sent into my life? Wha`s the sense or the purpose of it all?

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You, too, huh? :hug:

That dream, about a month back, was very telling to me. When you filled in even more details regarding Jude versus Mr Sag, it also made certain things make a bit more sense.

Strangely, and regardless, however, that dream was too clear, too obvious. Perhaps because it was such an overwhelming feeling. The connexion between the two of you was, frankly, so beautiful, and so bright.

I absolutely see the two of you together. There isn't any doubt or question. You're always holding hands, and joined. I'd VERY much like to see this be realised here, in the physical plane.

In the dream I had, you were, even though it had been recent. But timing that ... I don't know. I was here in LA. The sun was shining, and it was cool. That could've been this spring, or next spring - or the spring after that. It felt more near than distant.

Perhaps, from our vantage, we can't possibly imagine certain things.

Like the way Fate hates me. Again.

And I can't keep encouraging, supporting, and caring for a man who can only react with spite when I do. It's becoming less to me about what's in his heart, and what he secretly knows - and more the way he chooses to treat me so harshly, when I'm at my most loving.

But you and Mr Sag are different. At least, in my view. There's no bad blood. No perceived betrayals. No cold war. It seems to me, that over time, synchronicity will bring you to the moment at which everything truly begins.

posted April 28, 2014 03:32 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ceridwen:
Good night sweet prince.

The rest is silence.

(yes I know I reversed the order, but it seemed... fitting)

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posted April 28, 2014 03:40 PM            

But you seem very bright and luminous to me, I wonder if it's not projected onto anyone you would like

posted April 28, 2014 03:40 PM            

Maybe what you sensed in that dream, was our spiritual / astral togetherness, which I still believe in was real. Somehow. Some of it at least.

As for the other thing, it is quite impossible. It seems like he has gotten married (even though the idiot is still not wearing a wedding ring! Can`t he make it a little more obvious? ) and that they are expecting a son in july.

So I suppose I must simply have gotten it all wrong and misinterpreted it.

The article was not a literal interview, taking pieces and bits from other articles and interviews, but it seems that this and some other paragraphs were at least based on an interview (even though they got his age wrong, but thath appense easily if someone is born at the end of the year. lol).

It also fits with the feeling of disconnection I have had for some weeks now, and besides actually I was dreaming of him on thursday night and in this dream he WAS wearing a ring, and I also heard some whispiers in the back of my head about her being pregnant.

Of course this could have been just my doubt, fear and the desperate attempts to find a way to let go of him.

ut now in the light of that article published today, maybe it was more than just a manifestation of my fears.

It is what it is, and apparently I was wrong. Once again.

posted April 28, 2014 03:55 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LeeLoo2014:
Strangely, I have the same feeling of brightness and joy about you two, Ceri.

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That is what it had been once, when it all began (for me). And it was him who brought the brightness (back) into my life.
He reminded me of the girl I once had been.

This one, sort of: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MEVYsnGWhTA

And I bathed in the carefreeness I felt whenever he was around, that spark of "Anything`s possible", no star unreachable, a sky without limits.
He probably simply reminded me how it is to be a Sagittarius.

BUT over time I have grown too fixated on him, it has become too much. Sliding right into the Venus-Pluto-square in our composite I guess.

We have never even be together, and still it hurts. (and yes I remember that feeling - and it doesn`t matter what reality is, what the real status is of a connection, that which hurts is the death or let´s rather say the farewell to a dream. A dream that unfortunately has become a hope has become an expectation. Why do they always do that? Dreams I mean? They have the tendency to become expectations and that is no good, as I have seen over and over again).