posted March 08, 2014 01:09 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by IndigoDirae:

As to the interpretation, maybe it's Ceri's influence but I've gotten to where I really value my orbs being the tighter the better.

For example, along an axis, I might allow wider orbs if one part of it is exact - or near to exact.

If something is exactly conjunct the VX, then something could be as wide as an aspect to a luminary. That's the ONLY reason I consider the ASC/VX DW to be as it is; his to mine is exact, mine to his is 8.

Otherwise, I tend to stick with 2-3 degrees at absolute most.

How wide are the orbs you're using in this configuration?

---

Okay, I'll give you what I have at this point.

Me:

SATURN Cap 1.01
VX Cap 2.18

MOIRA Can 2.0
AVX Can 2.18

VENUS Vir 1.17
PLUTO Vir 5.03

AMOR Pis 1.07

TN Lib 4.02 (Nodes are square)

Him:

SN Cap 2.07
AMOR Sag 29.06

NN Can 2.07
VENUS Can 6.49

SATURN Pis 4.45

My SATURN (Cap 1.01) conjunct VX (Cap 2.18)
conjunct His SN (Cap 2.07)
and opposed His NN (Can 2.07) and My Moira (Can 2.50)

My SATURN (Cap 1.01) conjunct His AMOR (Sag 29.06)
and opposed His VENUS (Can 6.49) (wide orb - okay with planet?)

His SATURN (Pis 4.45) conjunct My AMOR (Pis 1.07)(wide orb)
and opposed My VENUS (Vir 1.17) and My PLUTO (Vir 5.03)

DW Venus-Saturn opposition.

Interestingly,

His DESTINN (Aqua 14.32) conjunct My DSC (Aqua 16.57)
(and opposed my ASC in Leo (ruled by SUN) )
My DESTINN (Sag 15.03) could be conjunct his MOON (no birth time)

and

His KAALI (Leo 3.53) conjunct My Michelle (Leo 2.44)
(This was described to me as him giving me Kundalini energy. Sounds like the Kundalini he gets from me with the Saturn-Pluto opp, except that in his case, it is forced.)

Also:
His CHIRON (Pis 18.31) trine My EROS (Sco 18.43)
My CHIRON (Aqua 23.13 trine His EROS (Gem 19.50) (wide)

His PSYCHE (Aqua 13.51) conjunct his DESTINN (Aqua 14.32) but too far for the conjunction of these to then conjunct my DSC (Aqua 16.57). However, his ANGEL (Aqua 17.25) is also conjunct my DSC.
My ANGEL (Aries 29.xx) trine his AMOR (Sag 29.06).

There's more of course, but these are the highlights so far.

posted March 08, 2014 04:05 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by IndigoDirae:
I think so, too, summerlite. To realise that, against all logic, ALL sense, though it's exactly what you want, something major is still missing, and there's NO rhyme or reason to it.

---

Yeah, well maybe.

Just for the first time in my life I feel nothing is missing.

I`ve always had this restless feeling inside (a bit like Tristan in "Legends of the fall") , always been looking for something elusive, that I couldnīt even really name.
I have been obsessed with finding out who my tf is and these things.

Just since mr Sag stepped into my life, all this has ceased. I donīt really care if he is my tf or someone else is anymore. Maybe he is. Maybe he is a catalyst. Maybe he is karmic. Whatever.

It just feels heavenly, the falling away of the restlessness inside. For the first time I feel like I am PRESENT (in my own life), at every single moment. And that is what I am living now, every single moment.

posted March 08, 2014 04:21 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ceridwen:
Yeah, well maybe.

Just for the first time in my life I feel nothing is missing.

I`ve always had this restless feeling inside (a bit like Tristan in "Legends of the fall") , always been looking for something elusive, that I couldnīt even really name.
I have been obsessed with finding out who my tf is and these things.

Just since mr Sag stepped into my life, all this has ceased. I donīt really care if he is my tf or someone else is anymore. Maybe he is. Maybe he is a catalyst. Maybe he is karmic. Whatever.

It just feels heavenly, the falling away of the restlessness inside. For the first time I feel like I am PRESENT (in my own life), at every single moment. And that is what I am living now, every single moment.

I donīt know when this restless mindsearching will start again (it usually always comes back again - though it has been silent and calm for quite some time now, months even, which is the longest period I had eve been given so far), but until it does I simply enjoy the breathing pause and marvel at the feeling that indeed for once nothing is missing at all. Everything is as it should be (at this moment in time), and what the future brings? Well let`s go there and find out.

---

Honestly, that sounds WONDERFUL. I say enjoy it!

I'm stuck here hoping that it's not true, which then means I'm questioning someone I actually do find to be providing very valuable insight.

Sigh.

posted March 08, 2014 09:04 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ceridwen:
Yeah, well maybe.

Just for the first time in my life I feel nothing is missing.

I`ve always had this restless feeling inside (a bit like Tristan in "Legends of the fall") , always been looking for something elusive, that I couldnīt even really name.
I have been obsessed with finding out who my tf is and these things.

Just since mr Sag stepped into my life, all this has ceased. I donīt really care if he is my tf or someone else is anymore. Maybe he is. Maybe he is a catalyst. Maybe he is karmic. Whatever.

It just feels heavenly, the falling away of the restlessness inside. For the first time I feel like I am PRESENT (in my own life), at every single moment. And that is what I am living now, every single moment.

I donīt know when this restless mindsearching will start again (it usually always comes back again - though it has been silent and calm for quite some time now, months even, which is the longest period I had eve been given so far), but until it does I simply enjoy the breathing pause and marvel at the feeling that indeed for once nothing is missing at all. Everything is as it should be (at this moment in time), and what the future brings? Well let`s go there and find out.

---

posted March 08, 2014 09:07 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by IndigoDirae:
Honestly, that sounds WONDERFUL. I say enjoy it!

I'm stuck here hoping that it's not true, which then means I'm questioning someone I actually do find to be providing very valuable insight.

Sigh.

But if it IS true, then ... God, what a headache.

---

I hope that you can figure things out soon, Indigo.
You really deserve to have some peace of mind and be happy... You all here do.

posted March 08, 2014 09:41 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by IndigoDirae:

.....You need to TOTALLY let go and trust the higher forces of destiny at work to help you get where you're needing to go.

So the MPs would then be AVX/SNODE and VX/NNODE.

Think about it.

Your Freewill / Karma is united with your Fate / Destiny.

If you understand that what you experience as uncontrollable and outside of your ability to comprehend are the very things YOUR soul designed and put forth - you should be moving closer to realising the ultimate magnitude of your destiny. That YOU are in total control of what you experience here, and that what you must ultimately and completely trust in, and give yourself over to - is YOU.

---

Wow! Indigo, that is such a great message. So, I can breathe a huge sigh of relief and simply do as I wish - no worrying whether I am missing out on my destiny. Firstly, my destiny is to be me and to embrace all that comes from within. And once I do that, all that is meant to happen will. That is such a break!

posted March 08, 2014 10:44 AM            

Tropical Composite:

Anubis: Cap 14°38
Neptune: Cap 15°16
Uranus: Cap 12°04
(His natal Chiron & Name-asteroid: 13°–14° Cancer)

Angel: Cancer 17°53
Aura: Cap 20°22
Vertex: Cap 19°48
(His natal Atlantis: Cancer 17°)

------------------

Helio Composite:

posted March 08, 2014 10:53 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by IndigoDirae:
tgem,

Did he say you ARE supposed to have a physical relationship? That it needs to be sexual?

---

No, because Cusp's Saturn is conjunct my mars, in tropical synastry, he said it would be "bad luck" to have a sexual relationship in this lifetime.

In regard to the VTX/anti-VTX axis, my natal sun is conjunct my AVX in the 11th by 2.5.

Cusp's jupiter and BML conjunct my sun/Anti-VTX by 4 and 2 degrees respectively. His Saturn is also parallel my sun/anti-vertex..

posted March 08, 2014 10:56 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ceridwen:

BTW Mr Sag and me have almost an Anubis-Anubis-conjunction. Too wide to count, but both conjunct composite ASC from both sides, mine from the 12th house, his from the 1st house.

---

quote:

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Originally posted by Ceridwen:

oh I was wrong, it is still in orb, though widely. 3°42
but also parallel: 0.40

---

Lol we have that too.
My Anubis is on Cap 16°, his is on Cap 12°, conjunct Vega.
They are parallel as well at 0°13

posted March 08, 2014 11:03 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by tgem:
No, because Cusp's Saturn is conjunct my mars, in tropical synastry, he said it would be "bad luck" to have a sexual relationship in this lifetime.

---

Oh dear, Virgo guy and I have my Mars opposite his Saturn (2°)

posted March 08, 2014 11:15 AM            

Angel is at 11°11 Libra, in the 11th house

posted March 08, 2014 11:47 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Lavender CrystalSwan:
Oh dear, Virgo guy and I have my Mars opposite his Saturn (2°)

Who said that?

---

IQ did..he said our synastry shows a lot of karmic debts (supposedly). Having a sexual relationship in this lifetime with my mars conjunct his Saturn would bring bad luck as it would make for negative karma?? I don't know..he has not seen our Helio composite though with all SM/TF possible stuff in it.

posted March 08, 2014 12:09 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ceridwen:
Lavender,

I was thinking about you for the last two days, wondering where oyu had gone. Glad you are back.

---

posted March 08, 2014 12:25 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by IndigoDirae:
Honestly, that sounds WONDERFUL. I say enjoy it!

I'm stuck here hoping that it's not true, which then means I'm questioning someone I actually do find to be providing very valuable insight.

Sigh.

But if it IS true, then ... God, what a headache.

---

I feel happy and pretty carefree. I like feeling that way.

As for you, what do you hope it is not true?
Fate your tf?
If it was true, or if it was not, would either option change the way you feel about him?

posted March 08, 2014 12:25 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ceridwen:

Just for the first time in my life I feel nothing is missing.
...

I donīt really care if he is my tf or someone else is anymore...

For the first time I feel like I am PRESENT (in my own life), at every single moment. And that is what I am living now, every single moment...

for once nothing is missing at all. Everything is as it should be (at this moment in time), and what the future brings? Well let`s go there and find out.

---

Ahh, now I know why I lost my internet connection yesterday when I tried to post the following. It was because I was waiting for Ceri to write those words, since she said it much more eloquently than I ever could. But here is what I wanted to say:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ceridwen:

It is not easy to explain, but I am in an emotional healing phase, not in an emotional waking-up-phase (and probably in this regard more like a 17 year old than a grown-up woman. Yes I missed THAT much in my earlier life), but this phase needs to be honored and it needs time.

I am just learning to be happy and enjoy my life as it is now, and also start getting reacquainted with myself, or rather a part of myself that had been buried deep for a long time; this is why I can`t or don`t want to act, like it is "socially expected"...

And as for Mr Sag - seriously and honestly he`s probably better off without me in his life; heck, I sometimes feel even too complicated for myself. lol

---

I have read this thread daily, but have not participated except when astrological aspects have been discussed, because I can't relate to much of the discussion: I am currently in a relationship with someone who may, or may not, be my twinflame. Even if twinflames exist, it doesn't matter to me whether he is my twinflame: I'm living in the here and now, and he is (at least for now) a good match for me. I also don't know that my world/spiritual view (which is non-dualistic) has room for the concept of twinflames. I think my soul is whole and complete just as it is, and that all of us are part of the same essence, the One. So, to me, we're even more than twins or quintuplets!

I am also older than anyone else in this thread. I've been afraid to say anything that might offend, and I want to honor and respect the depth of your (plural your) feelings.

But I have had some concerns that some of you are torturing yourselves needlessly.

I hope, however, that everyone can relate to Ceri's statement quoted above, and many other wise statements of hers in this thread. Even if you believe in twinflames, and even if you think you've met your twinflame, and even if you can't be in a here-and-now, in-the-flesh relationship with him, my hope for each of you is that you focus your energy on yourself, and on being the best you that you can be, not on your twinflame.

When I was in my 20s and early 30s, I was so hurt by relationships that failed that I turned inward and just wasn't interested for many years. Some might say too many years. I also felt I was too complicated for most people, including myself. I longed for and dreamed of the other, whoever that was. It was only when I finally accepted and made peace with who I was, helped along by a life-threatening medical issue, that I was able to be truly open to a relationship. While there is a part of me that wonders what life would be like if I'd lived a more traditional life, married, and had children and grandchildren, I know that I have lived the life I was meant to live, and I'm happy and at peace with that. After one failed relationship, from which I learned much, I'm now 6+ months into another relationship. If anyone had told me in my 20s, 30s, or 40s that my late 50s and early 60s would be the happiest, most sexual and romantic of my life, I'd have thought they were crazy.

My wish for those of you who are in pain and struggling is that you will find yourself earlier in life than I did. When you do that, you will be with your soulmate(s) or twinflame(s), whether there is a second human directly involved in-the-flesh or not.

I guess my bottom line (and best bit of advice) is that life has taught me that if I find myself in constant or frequent pain, longing too often for someone or something outside myself, then I have not yet found myself. Once you do that, when you lose the connection with yourself, which from time to time you will, it's much easier to find your way back.

It really isn't about finding or being with your twinflame, it's about you.

posted March 08, 2014 12:26 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Lavender CrystalSwan:
I went to check the astral/etheric asteroids in our composites.

Tropical Composite:

Anubis: Cap 14°38
Neptune: Cap 15°16
Uranus: Cap 12°04
(His natal Chiron & Name-asteroid: 13°–14° Cancer)

---

See? Anubis-Neptune.

posted March 08, 2014 12:28 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by tgem:
No, because Cusp's Saturn is conjunct my mars, in tropical synastry, he said it would be "bad luck" to have a sexual relationship in this lifetime.

Thoughts?

---

My parents have a DW Mars-Saturn-conjunction in their synastry. I suppose they must be quite happy with their sexual relationship, or why would my mum had felt the need for getting a pregnancy test in her 50`s?
If you donīt have sex, you would certainly not need a pregnancy test either.

Thanks, Mum. TOO MUCH INFORMATION for your daughter.

posted March 08, 2014 12:30 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Lavender CrystalSwan:
Lol we have that too.
My Anubis is on Cap 16°, his is on Cap 12°, conjunct Vega.
They are parallel as well at 0°13

Looks like Anubis takes almost 5 years to complete a return too, like Psyche and Link.
I wanna know what other asteroids have a 5 year return cycle, besides those lol.

---

Yeah these 5 years creep up, don`t they?

posted March 08, 2014 12:32 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Lavender CrystalSwan:
LOL btw I found something funny in our Draco Composite:

Angel is at 11°11 Libra, in the 11th house

Sabian:
Miners are emerging from a deep coal mine.
Depth of participation in the world's work. Whole-souled giving of self to service; or inability to bring self to effort.

---

LOL

And I love the Sabian, so deep, literally.

posted March 08, 2014 12:33 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Lavender CrystalSwan:
I hope that you can figure things out soon, Indigo.
You really deserve to have some peace of mind and be happy... You all here do.

Best wishes

---

Thanks, Lavender. It's oddly helped me finish the sequel to the novel of which I shared the snippet. (It was originally a trilogy.) I just didn't WANT it to be THAT way, and now, rereading the manuscript from '95, I see it MUST be. Augh.

Strangely enough, it's got my main character shouting at the guy to whom she's (oh, God, really? 'Fatebound' - because I guess it sounded really cool at 14 :laughing , basically the other main character, about how she just left her peaceful, safe life, with a man who loves her, in order to fulfill some prophecy she had no hand in creating, and is feeling yanked around by the whole thing.

It's a friggin' mess.

Both of them love each other SO much, with SO much intensity that neither knows how to be vulnerable to the other after SO much pain. So it becomes this thing of, 'damn it, I had successfully run away from this!' and 'so had I!' and 'why are you even here?' and 'I don't know! I was TRYING to do the right thing!'. Whatever THAT is.

And they both end up wanting to be freed of the whole thing, because it does NOT fit into their lives, this all-encompassing relationship they're supposed to be having in order to (literally) heal a rift and bridge a gap between their two worlds.

Wow. Thanks, 14-year-old self. You gave me my life's dilemma and I didn't even know it at the time. I was just young, full of possibility and hope, writing away furiously, because I wanted to be a writer some day, and dreamt of Hollywood, and being somebody who shared stories with millions.

Sigh. This is so hard.

I guess I knew iQ was going to say it was. But - Jesus. SUCH certainty. No 'definite soulmates with the possibility of'. No 'indication of this and maybe even that.' No, no.

YOU BOTH ARE TWIN FLAMES. YOU BOTH NEED TO BE TOGETHER.

Jesus H.

What if I can't? What if I'm just not strong enough? Am I failing at everything?

I don't want to 'deny something to millions of people', but damn it, I have NO place to start. I NEED TO BE HERE NOW. But will I lose him forever? God, will -I- have to run to Phoenix, like a friggin' lunatic and stop a wedding some day?

Heh. Life doesn't work like Valdonia. You can't not marry another because you're Fatebound. (If THAT's not a convenient little plot device? :laughing

He's so mad at me right now. I don't even know why. He's just angry. At me. For something. The fact I didn't answer when I was ill, and then when he called the day after his allusive status update? RIGHT after work? I texted him RIGHT back. I was with a client. And then I started coding for the rest of the night. He texted me back 'K' and that was it. I even explained to him I was sorry that time got away from me a couple of hours later. No response.

Since then, he's been doing the 'Facebook silent treatment' thing. Augh. His friends Like my comments, he'll Like THEIR comments - but he won't Like mine.

How primary school can you get?

But I can't do this anymore. I can't condone his hurting me. If he wants to pay friggin' attention, I gave him all he needs to get himself set up in the game, since LACHESIS is going back up now.

I'm not going to chase after him.

... I accidentally typed 'her', rather than 'him'. WTF. YOU'RE not going to chase after ME? - I want to say. Then stop being an immature cretin when you don't get your way! And - AND - if I DO matter to you enough to where if I don't answer a couple of calls in a row, you FREAK OUT - then stop pretending you hate me where it counts!

AUGH!

I could bash my head into a wall. AND his. MOSTLY his.

SEE? SEE WHAT I MEAN?

HTF is this supposed to work - EVER?

Maybe the Universe made a mistake. Or, maybe it's all bunk. Maybe none of it's true. Maybe we're just all relating to some similar childhood wound, and we ALL JUST NEED TO GROW UP!

posted March 08, 2014 12:46 PM            

'I don't think God hates anyone... But if he does, I bet it's the type of people who never leave the country, refuse to try new food or culture, even though they believe he created the whole world for Humanity.

Imagine how ****** you'd be if you built a perfect mansion for someone to live in and the only room they bothered going in was the den.'

Okay, for one, WOW, I agree 110% - one reason I love the Internet - but secondly ....

There's no disclaimer. No, 'if I believed in God,' or 'if God existed then,' just flat out - 'I don't think God hates anyone'.

Clearly it's about ethnocentricity, too - something I also hate. Augh. Judgement. Prejudice.

But what a status update ... something real, too. Not just a one-liner. Not just a joke.

He's been slowly moving from agnosticism not into atheism, but some form of belief. Not necessarily Christian belief, since he didn't capitalise 'him', or 'he', but ... his own version.

We don't talk about religion and spirituality anymore. And, when we did, it was long ago. We used to have the exact same understanding of the world - science, religion, and spirituality. Then ... after reconnecting in 2012, it sounded as if he was shifting into atheism. He really didn't want to discuss it. Any of it.

posted March 08, 2014 01:04 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ceridwen:
Lavender,

I was thinking about you for the last two days, wondering where oyu had gone. Glad you are back.

---

I've just been taking a short break.
Needed to center and "recharge" myself a bit.