posted March 15, 2014 09:24 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Lavender CrystalSwan:
My natal IC widely-conjuncts your Dr. Asc by 4°
My natal Jupiter conjuncts your Dr. Sun by 2°
My natal Juno conjuncts your Dr. Chiron 0°05

Lol

---

posted March 15, 2014 09:30 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by tgem:
I agree. I have NEVER in my life had feelings, hurt, longing in the way I do for him....and for that reason...I am so thankful to have met him. Because I didn't know I could have these feelings (almost unaspected moon in the 12th.). I always thought the romance movies with the sexual attraction and the romance and the soul transforming love was a bunch of BS romanticized by Hollywood...I had almost become so skeptical of it's existence...and then I met him.

He awakened part of me I never knew existed.... I wanted to believe it was there...but nothing had quite "activated" it.

...then him...his eyes...the stare...the breaking down all of my defenses (no matter how high I built my wall) only to leave me naked...completely psychologically naked....like he could see all my flaws ( and I was a MASTER at covering them up - ASC conjunct jupiter.).

---

You sound so much like me...and I have that Aries Mercury opp Pluto too btw.

@ LC Swan, it's ok...the pain and doubts..it happens from time to time, but it will pass...

@ Michelle, I noticed you mentioned your age, which also means you're going through another Saturn return right now...
I'm sending love to your daughter too

And Ceri, that quote from "The Notebook"...You know, I'm not even into romance films (or novels) like that, but that film got me. "Your Mother is My Home..." (he says to their grown kids in that later scene) is one of my favorite quotes from that film, and precisely how I feel about Him (and I've said often enough)... He is Home.

Anyway, I see Persona charts have been mentioned. I think I mentioned it before, but my Moon persona mirrors his natal chart...I thought that was funny.

Re. Alma:
We have an exact Psyche-Juno conj. with Alma a few degrees away, and Alma-Unitas conj, but no exact Alma-Juno aspect. We also have that exact Psyche-Union opp. I mentioned before. We do have a DW Alma-NNode trine, and our Almas square in the d-synastry.

Re. Saturn-Sun conjunction:

We do have this one between our trop. and draco natals:

His t-Sun conj. My d-Saturn by a degree
His d-Saturn-MC conj. My t-Sun by 4 (yes, I know that's wide). His d-spirit is exactly on my t-Sun, also.
My d-MC conj. His natal MC-Saturn

posted March 16, 2014 01:26 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ceridwen:
Don`t.
If you do the cycle wil repeat itself over and over again, and you will find yourself at the exact same point and have to go through it again.

Try to endure the ache, the pain, the longing.
It is part of your heart chakra activation. It is part of your love. it actually shows the depth of your love.

It will fade again, not the love, the pain I mean.
Isn`t he worth it to go through it?
Would your life be better without having known him?

Seriously, if the answer is YES, I am going to doubt he is your tf.

OF course it freaking hurts me, too. But call me a masochist, at the same time I marvel at it.

Well, I always decided to block out the pain, rationalize it all away, seeing him never again.
But to be honest I feel so much more at peace since I stopped doing that (in the grand at least - of course there ar emoments, or days when I push him away).
And through it all I know for a fact that my life is so much more worthwile because he touched it, even through the insecurities, doubts, sadness and ache.
It`s worth it. Every step of the way.

---

Ohhhhhhh....

I just got back home and settled in to catch up here.

These words Ceri. These words.

You're absolutely utterly right on. There have been times I've just fallen apart, wishing this pain would go away, wishing I had never had the first dream and every unbelievable thing that followed. But he awakened me. HE is the one that grew me enough to leave my abusive ex. He showed me the possibility of a life of joy instead of despair. He gave me hope. He opened my heart.

He gave me a life again.

Yes, it hurts. But your words help me to see that it is worth the pain.

"There are no accidents."

"Every thing happens for a reason."

"Always expect something wonderful to happen."

I truly believe these things. I do believe Jace's arrival is a precious gift. But I've been treating him and everything that has happened around him as a kind of curse simply because it hasn't met any of the pictures I have.

Thank you for speaking to my heart and I suspect, to our hearts. I have to keep reading and catch up.

Yes. It's worth it.

posted March 16, 2014 03:12 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by MorpHnStorM:

@ Michelle, I noticed you mentioned your age, which also means you're going through another Saturn return right now...
I'm sending love to your daughter too

---

Morph, thank you. Especially for my daughter's sake.

Re: Saturn return. This is new to me. I always thought they were 29 year cycles, so I thought I had four more years to go. I'm off to go and research that one for sure because clearly I got it wrong somewhere along the line! (And being in the midst of one might just explain a few things!)

posted March 16, 2014 03:37 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by micole maree:
Morph, thank you. Especially for my daughter's sake.

Re: Saturn return. This is new to me. I always thought they were 29 year cycles, so I thought I had four more years to go. I'm off to go and research that one for sure because clearly I got it wrong somewhere along the line! (And being in the midst of one might just explain a few things!)

---

posted March 16, 2014 05:06 AM            

I think I had sex.

Right. Helluvan opener, that one ....

Lemme back up. Because, frankly, I'm flummoxed.

This evening, I was rather sleepy and contemplative. I took a meditative nap, reflecting upon everything; namely, the concept itself. Trying to visualise it in my brain. To break it down into something I could easily understand. Something more concrete.

Because, really. It's a bit to swallow.

Those were my thoughts, I recall, when something ... happened. No better way to articulate it. I think I may've been saying something to him aloud - but I can't remember what, or why.

I do know I was seeking guidance from the Universe. A kind of, 'how can this be real?' line of thought. Honestly, if we get back to brass tacks - that's tough. It's a sort of suspension of disbelief. Sometimes, I feel a need to reaffirm why. Or what. Or how.

It didn't happen immediately. I honestly didn't catch it at first. See, I really am rather asexual. I don't have, erm, 'stirrings', shall we say? - as others do. Now, very rarely, it'll feel as if I do.

This was one such time.

And I thought ... well, isn't THIS inconvenient? My whatever-you'd-like-to-call him did a dumb thing and is recovering through chiropractic. (He's very scoliotic, so that doesn't help.) Needless to say, it's been ... huh. Right. It'll be over a month when we see each other next and, erm, resume.

But it should've been tomorrow. And, I was a bit looking forward to it, actually. No idea why. It's not like there's any passion or mind blowing experience there. It's very experimental, a bit playful, lighthearted and curious. Which is endearing, given our not-spring-chicken statuses.

Imagine then my surprise when, during my reflection, I start feeling ... an urgency. Then, which is absolutely unprecedented, a ... how to best describe this? Hm. It's hard to articulate in 'polite company'.

There's a sensation that's rather unique to women in 'that position'.

I was feeling THAT. I was not only feeling THAT, but less than maybe 30 seconds following feeling the initial urgency.

Crazy as it sounds, I thought, oh, no; it's Saturday night. Is he ... ? Is THIS? ...

But I wasn't a spectator here, judging from the physical element. I was co-starring in this bizarre unfolding one-act play. I wasn't feeling his side of things. I was just ... FEELING.

I'd mentioned having this experience in conjunction with hypnagogia. Only upon waking from a dream to find rather illicit physical sensations underway.

This was that - cranked to an 11, and lacking the prerequisite Theta waves.

I was awake. Cognisant. Fully evaluating things. I was paying extra precise attention to each second, asking myself, ' ... is this really, really ... REALLY?'

And that's when things got weird.

(Right, like it was perfectly commonplace before. Hah. Bear with me.)

Something ... some part of me took over in pure autopilot. Some part of me was ecstatic. Some part of me said, 'get the eff out - I'M driving!'

And, frankly? I was too curious not to let it.

Okay, not just curious; I was flat no longer in control. This other part of me was desperate not to lose whatever this was, and I was intrigued and along for the ride.

And ... forgive my being so candid, but what a ride.

Once I consciously made the decision I was giving into this, I was 'going there', I was ceasing to ask questions, to be afraid, to demand to have control - THAT's when it all happened.

The sensation of hypnagogia overtook me; the disorientation and dizziness. The lightheaded feature of it. But it wasn't frightening, and it wasn't legitimate sleep-paralysis, so no hearing things like the rush of blood in my ears and so on.

But the extreme lightheadedness, and the tactile sense of 'falling' was there.

I later told myself, well, THAT's normal. Except ... it wasn't. Did my blood pressure rise? Not significantly. Did my brain go through the usual chemical changes of arousal? Only slightly.

Slightly.

Physical exertion? Zero.

And yet ... and ... yet ...

... Wow.

I lost total sense of anything around me. I no longer felt anchored in physical space. I no longer felt my body. The lightheaded sensation, the feeling of 'falling' without moving ... something about it led to an overall tingling in my entire body which made me feel as if I was completely incorporeal for several seconds. A bit longer. Easily half a minute. But not quite a full one.

Wow. That's all I could take! Apparently.

I was floored. I still am! Once I'd returned to reality, I was just blinking and processing. But by ten minutes after, I realised ... my body, my brain, everything about me said I'd just been through a sexual experience. The kind you share with another person, that is. Heh.

I've NEVER ... I couldn't even IMAGINE such a thing like this in THESE prosaic circumstances. Awake? Fully cognisant? Wow!

I just lay there for a short while, turning over and curling into my pillow, the strangest feeling of utter exhaustion and satiation.

Somehow, I was entring the resolution phase, and I'd never fully engaged any of the others required for it! Certainly not physically, but, holy God - in every other possible way.

Oh, and THIS was the song that played IMMEDIATELY after.
http://youtu.be/4KB-vqx56EE

It's one of those which NEVER plays; I only heard it because the artist DJ'd one weekend back in October. Yeah. Otherwise, they NEVER play this song.

I ... nearly fell over.

Wow. THAT song. Of ALL songs.

I just started laughing. I did! Aloud. Like a crazy person.

So. Without further ado ...

posted March 16, 2014 07:45 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by tgem:
I agree. I have NEVER in my life had feelings, hurt, longing in the way I do for him....and for that reason...I am so thankful to have met him. Because I didn't know I could have these feelings (almost unaspected moon in the 12th.). I always thought the romance movies with the sexual attraction and the romance and the soul transforming love was a bunch of BS romanticized by Hollywood...I had almost become so skeptical of it's existence...and then I met him.

He awakened part of me I never knew existed.... I wanted to believe it was there...but nothing had quite "activated" it.

...then him...his eyes...the stare...the breaking down all of my defenses (no matter how high I built my wall) only to leave me naked...completely psychologically naked....like he could see all my flaws ( and I was a MASTER at covering them up - ASC conjunct jupiter.).

Gosh...too much wine I guess. But I do wonder....I really really do...if he privately thinks/longs for me the same way. Does he even realize the connection? Will he ever? Ouch...ouch...

---

However, what you wrote there about the pain, it reminded me of something last year.
Incidentally not even two weeks after he got into a relationship, I Saw him again.
He saw me there in the audience, but he chose to blatantly ignore me.
Not because he didn`t really see me – he did-, but he did not WANT to see me. Period.
Why? I was wondering what had I been doing wrong?
He used to look and smile so openly at me, and now he wouldn`t even meet my gaze for just a couple of seconds.
It was not that I had been overdoing it. At this point, we hadn`t crossed paths for half a year (exactly btw). I am not sure he even spotted me there on the march-musical. And even if he did that was 3 months ago.
Surely it is not too much seeing him once in a while on a stage, right?
Or does that make me a nuisance?
And if so, why not before? He really liked to see me the occasions before that one.
Just then – it was so so strange.
Of course I did not know he had gotten into a relationship rather freshly, I just felt that things were REALLY off.
And despite not fully looking at me, well, he did cast me these sideway glances. Looking when he hoped I would not pay attention.
Newsflash, I ALWAYS do. Lol
At one point when he had to pass my seat to go off stage, he did look at me quite long. Not a smile. A smirk rather. But not the happy kind. He had never given me a fake smile before. What was he trying to not let show behind it? Embarassment?
Discomfort, about me being there?

Why? I never did anything to him. Heck I never even talked to him that much. Not like most of his fans, and he always is nice to them. Seems to like to interact with the audience.
And when did I turn to be a person “non grata”?
All I realized and knew was that it probably was very “inconvenient” that I had been ther that night.
I have that annoying habit I guess, turning up again, when it is really inconvenient. Lol

When I walked to my hotelroom, I could sense him walk beside me. I mean, the feeling of his presence was so overwhelmingly strong, and for the first time in my life, I hated it. I rather want it was gone. Going back to how I was before meeting him.

And it was not only because I was feeling sad or disappointed. Though that may have been part of it, usually sadness and disappointment feels for me like numbness, like an absense or muffling of feelings.
But THIS, just imagine a blade that has just been forged in fire (and still is glowing with fire) being plunged into your heart. That is approximately how it felt like. I really felt like I had been stabbed, but not in my back, but pretty much right into my midsection, and I have even seen it coming. THAT is what has been the most startling to me, even more startling than him ignoring me. Though of course that hurt.

Actually a few minutes after that I was sitting in my hotelroom, and I was completely out of my mind. Today, thinking of that I hardly recognize myself in that scene, cause I was really crying and sobbing, about the fact that some random performer did not look at me during taking his bows. How ridiculous!
Just that he is not any random performer, and I remember him acting so differently when it comes to me.
Anyway so I was just mumbling again and again: "Make it stop. Please make it stop."
And since I am me, I suddenly had that scene from "Vampire Diaries" in front of my inner eye, when Elena breaks down, and Damon just tells her: "Switch it off.".

However, I could feel someone – maybe my Higher Self- listening up and then asking: "Is that what you want?"
on some level, I feel almost as if I had said: "Yes, this is what I want", it would have stopped; it would have been over that very moment. But it was one of these moments when I can`t lie, not even to myself, so I said:

"No. What I want, what I really want is that he loves me back. That he feels the same. That he tosses and turns and can`t find sleep at night, because the image of me is haunting him. That he feels like he burns like the sun, just because I smile at him."

Seriously, up to that outburst of mine, I had not even really an idea I was feeling that way! Lol
Not the kind of feeling you would expect from an Aqua-Moon and Cappy-Venus.

Well, and then, usually after I have seen him so close up, I can feel him in my mind, and his chattering is keeping me awake. Feels even like overhearing physical mind-chatter or otherwise chatter. But not so that night. I think I even said it aloud: "The connection/ line is dead." As this was how it felt, like a telephone line that had gone dead, maybe cause noone is on the other speaker. lol

Anyway, and then out of nothing, very suddenly, about 2-3 hours after the show, and I was preparing to sleep, I suddenly heard a noise inside my mind, as if someone had very noisily shut a door, and then I heard his voice, physically, in the back of my mind, more clearly than ever before, and what he said was: "Damn it! I messed up. Messed up REAL BAD this time." And some more cussing words.
No clue what he had been messing up, he was giving an outstanding performance on stage.

Oh and yes, it even got worse, despite that I decided to visit the next concert of his, and that was the lowest point of low.
At some point, after some woman in the audience apparently getting into too much of a flirting mode with him (well he pretty much pushed her to, with his playfulness, but at some point he must have realized it might go too far. Lol), he mentioned that his “future mother-in-law” was in the room, too, and she would have to discuss it out with her. Lol
Not feeling like laughing that moment though. In fact, had it been before the intermission or had I ben sitting at an aisle, I would have gotten up that moment, walked out of there and never looked back anymore. But I wasn`t. I was pretty much squeezed into the crowd with no real way for getting out there.
Of course I decided this wsa the final time I would be seeing him, and I meant it, when I left that night, I left with the knowledge that I wouldn´t be back, this was it.
Surprisingly he really opted for torturing me that night, again, by pretty much almost falling into my lap, while doing his little –through-the-audience-walks. That was before though, before he mentioned his future mother in law.
And well, I remember at one point he was sitting down at the piano, and playing some notes of a song, and it seemed to familiar, but he would only play the first notes, teling the audience to guess the song, or he would not continue playing it. He was serious. He was playing the first three-five notes several times, only these, no one in the audience seemed to know it. Usually they are all always talking with him, this night, no one did. I sort of knew the song, but like always I did not quite to say something. Lol
Eventually I did so though, cause he was really holding the audience hostage with these same notes he was playing over and over again.
The song, I had to guess (well it felt like I had to. Lol), was “Everything”

“You're a falling star, you're the get away car.
You're the line in the sand when I go too far.
You're the swimming pool, on an August day.
And you're the perfect thing to say.

And you play it coy, but it's kinda cute.
and when you smile at me you know exactly what you do.
Baby don't pretend, that you don't know it's true.
'Cause you can see it when I look at you.

And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, you make me sing.
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.

You're a carousel, you're a wishing well,
And you light me up, when you ring my bell.
You're a mystery, you're from outer space,
You're every minute of my everyday.

And I can't believe, uh, that I'm your man,
And I get to kiss you baby just because I can.
Whatever comes our way, ah, we'll see it through,
And you know that's what our love can do.

And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, you make me sing
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.

So, La, La, La, La, La, La, La
So, La, La, La, La, La, La, La

And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, You make me sing.
You're every line, you're every word, you're everythi-i-ing.
You're every song, and I sing along.
'Cause you're my everything.
Yeah, yeah”

-------------
I didn´t really think he identified me as the one who had been solving his little mystery/ riddle, but at the end of the concert he was giving me some very hard to decipher looks. Lol
And I was just thinking: No, not now. That really is not a good day to break the silence-mode.
After all I was leaving him behind, right? I had to.
I did. I thought so for almost a month, which was the crappiest month in all my life.
And eventually I figured that it`s not worth it. The pain of staying away, forcing myself to stay away, is so much greater than seeing him at least now and then. Yes, this makes me probably pathetic. But if so, then that is what I am.
Despite it all, I feel better with him occasionally passing through my life, then not having him in it at all.
And I surrendered to that. I accepted htat if that is all he want me to be, part of the audience, a fan maybe, all there ever can be, then it is like it is. I surrender.

Curiously I never felt the sting again about his possible engagement. Well it was a joke anyway. LOL
He wasn`t serious about it. Just joking on stage. Of course he has a girlfriend, and hem ight get engaged to her eventualy. Or not. Who knows.
Anyway, he sort of stopped mentioning any kinds of future mothers in law, from that day of the concert on.
Maybe someone told him his jokes really suck sometimes. Lol

And for more recent times, he really has returned to his old ways, of giving me the nice and sunny looks again. Just now I really know how precious this is. So yes it WAS a big deal to approach him despite all the weirdness of the last half year going on. And YES it was a surprise, when he was so warmly responding to me, both, when I actually talked to him, but also 2 weeks ago,w hen he spotted me in the audience, and I saw that birth of a smile again.

If that is all there is and ever can be, I will gladly accept it.
Cutting him out of my life and heart, it doesn`t work anymore. Not without ripping out my heart completely. He is too much entwined with this.
Of course I will hae to think of a way to move on with my life, as he does with his, and not spend a life on dreams that will never come true.
I don´t quite have an answer to that part of the puzzle, but time will tell. For now I am just going with the flow, and I intend to continue that way. We will see.

posted March 16, 2014 08:02 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Mystic_Cat:
Could someone explain to me what Twinflame astrology is? Cheers.

---

The astrology that is specific to twinflames.

Since I am still in the process of figuring out WHAT exactly twinflames are, I can`t really give a definite answer to that question.

Just in my opinion, that since twinflames are the most unique and rare soulconnections (but again, it depends on what you believe), the astrology needs to reflect that uniqueness, rareness and sense of merging or fusion/union).

So from that line of thinking I am convinced that the angles MUST play an important role, along with Moon (and VErtex), and especially conjunctions, possibly parallel and antiscia as well.

posted March 16, 2014 08:20 AM            

yes, what you wrote there, I tried to describe about the even the event chart I posted.

Actually it happened after that, too.
One time I remember, in the afternoon, in bright sunshine. No excuse there that I was just on the brink of falling asleep.

" I don't have, erm, 'stirrings', shall we say? - as others do."
I used to be that way, too.

Now,well, things have shifted a bit. lol

".. an urgency."
you put it nicely there.

Actually I felt a bit of it last night as well. 10.p.m. but just a feeling passing through. lol

Not with the same urgency than I recalled it to be sometimes. Usually prancing out of nowwhere.

"I was just ... FEELING."
This.

"I was awake. Cognisant. Fully evaluating things."
That is what I was trying do describe, and I failed to comprehend.

"some part of me took over in pure autopilot. Some part of me was ecstatic. Some part of me said, 'get the eff out - I'M driving!'"
Exactly.

"The sensation of hypnagogia overtook me; the disorientation and dizziness. The lightheaded feature of it. But it wasn't frightening, and it wasn't legitimate sleep-paralysis, so no hearing things like the rush of blood in my ears and so on."
Also, same experience here.

"But the extreme lightheadedness, and the tactile sense of 'falling' was there."
Yes. A floating feeling. A feeling like merging with, well, something. I don´t know, just merging I suppose.

"I lost total sense of anything around me. I no longer felt anchored in physical space. I no longer felt my body. The lightheaded sensation, the feeling of 'falling' without moving ... something about it led to an overall tingling in my entire body which made me feel as if I was completely incorporeal for several seconds."
Yes.

"my body, my brain, everything about me said I'd just been through a sexual experience. The kind you share with another person, that is. Heh."
Same.

"I just lay there for a short while, turning over and curling into my pillow, the strangest feeling of utter exhaustion and satiation."
I remember that day when it happened in full sunlight, I was running around for hours afterwards, experiencing a high-feelings, as if a lot of endorphines had been released into my blood. For at least 30 minutes straight I would break out in uncontrollable giggles now and then. It was startling, really, given nothing REAL happened, and I am usually not one to giggle out of nothing, but I just felt "high". lol
How was that even possible?

Daydreams usually do not result in that for me, and usually i have control over my daydreams. THIS was a surprise. lol

"I just started laughing. I did! Aloud. Like a crazy person."
Oh yes, I can relate.

posted March 16, 2014 09:01 AM            

in your chart - are the angles right?

If so, WOW.
All on 00 cardinal, with Vertex exactly on DESC.
Something totally new started. Powerful stuff.

EROS-LUST-conjunction on the IC - so at the very core-basic level this was a well lusty experience.

Anubis-Psyche-conjunct on the 5th house cusp. An astral (kind of) or rather interdimensional meeting, having to do with expressing love and emotions.
(interstingly enough in the chart from last august when it happened for me, Anubis was conjnct Psyche as well.).

Not at all coincidental that it is configured with his ASC, right? And your Vertex I believe?

Just think of the sabian of 1 Aquarius "An Unexpected Thunderstorm"

With the opposition of EROS to DESTINN, it was kind of a destined erotic encounter.

Sun in 6th house trines Saturn - well this has me stumped, except for that the 6th house and SAturn both deal with physical matters, and might relate to the fact that you felt it in your body. Of course taking place in water signs, the spiritual world touching the physical one?

Moon in Virgo in 12th - again earthly matters involving spirit.

trine to sensual Amor in 8th house - emotional love was there.

Valentine sextile 7th house Uranus exact. The love and romantic feeling came all of a sudden and as a surprise, but with the sextile, welcome.

Union opposite Venus from 11th to 5th. Giving and receiving of love and attraction. being in Leo and Aquarius strengthens the theme of lovers and friends.

posted March 16, 2014 09:12 AM            

both, you and Indigo, have been so spot on interpreting that event chart. Thank you.

"It would be a mixture of soft vulnerability and nakedness of the soul (Chiron in Pisces in 4th), combined with some intense, expansive, and (spiritually) sexual energy (Kaali conjunct Spirit on Asc in Sag), with a touch of pure desire (Lust in Virgo)"

That is what it was. Perfectly put. Totally naked soulwise, sexual energy, and this strange mix of pure desire and swellng of the heart. not to mention the floating sensation.

"Jupiter on the Desc in Gemini would give it a lovely, joyous, high-energy, up-beat and playful vibe."
Yes, I wasn`t scared at all, event hough I did not quite comprehend what happened, but it felt uplifting.

"Though there may be some confusion/unclarity regarding the emotional atmosphere of the event?"
Ys, as I said, I did not understand. I rationalized it later on.

"This event was fated for sure and it will likely be life changing as well...
And it being in the 8th house could very well explain the nature of that "turning point" "
Yes, it was a real turning point.

"Pluto square Proserpina on the MC, opposing Amor - Simply stunning!! –despite it being harsh aspects lol. "
It was even more important, as this is one of our strongest (harmonious) soulmate pairings in synsatry.

his Pluto sextiles my Proserpina exact, my Pluto trinesh is Proserpina by 1 degree.
The composite has the exact square. Pluto on 15 LIbra to Proserpina on 14 Cap - so the composite angle was mirrored, just not quite in orb. lol

posted March 16, 2014 09:29 AM            

thank you for your interpretaton of my event chart. So amazing!

• 11° SAG rising. (Duh. ;p)"
It had to be I suppose.

Our first meeting chart has Sag rising. 9 degree though.

Conjunct my Neptune-NN on 10 Sag, his MErcury on 9 SAg.

"• 1H SPIRIT-KAALI trine 4H AMOR. (While not exactly angular, the closeness to the 5C feels more fitting.)"
Actually it is angular.
Well I opted for equal houses here, because of their close interrelation with the ASC. BUT of course that means that MC and IC can be hovering anywhere else but not necessarily at the cusp of 4th house.

HEre thee IC is exactly conjunct 5th house cusp. And Uranus-AMOR conjunction falling right onto the IC - thus angular-, and th house cusp.

It definitely makes sense.

"• 5H DESTINN-VALENTINE-SUN-MARS. I mean, wow."
Yeah me, too. I was like this

Looking at some Sabians:

Sun: The Possibility For Man To Gain Experience At Two Levels Of Being

That is what happened, right?
Actually I always interpreted this one as indicative of the astral or interdimensional connections.

continuing this later on

The fact that MARS is involved seems more to denote action rather than friction, in my view.

That DESTINN's 1° orb conjunct SUN-MARS sells it for me. And in ARIES? Hello! That's got some movement to it.

• UNION-VENUS? Kissing the 6C, but still 5H. The degree seems significant. Late. Like we're rounding something up.

That the stellium is occurring in 5H from 22° to 28° ARIES, really, since the SUN is there, all conjunct, is VERY eye-catching.

This means the MP between them are ALL conjunct one another, more or less. For example:

SUN = VALENTINE / DESTINN

I mean, DESTINN is perfectly placed.

DESTINN = SUN / VENUS
DESTINN = MARS / UNION
DESTINN = MARS / VENUS
DESTINN = VALENTINE / VENUS

It's :jaw-drop:'ing.

PLUS ... it's ALL beautifully trine that 25° LEO ANGEL from the 9H.

This is an elevated, beautiful, romantic energy. Wow!

Okay. Where's CAMELOT, ARTHUR, GUINEVERE abs LANCELOT in all this?

Seriously!

There's just one thing that gets me.

6H GEM MOON.

It seems rather prosaic for such a dramatic, theatrical, ardent, passionate configuration. I like how it's exactly trine NEPTUNE, even if it's 3H. That can be a very soulful conversation.

It's the fact it's just so ... uninvolved. It's also so close to being conjunct JUPITER, but just missing it. Like it's trying to be SOMETHING, but can't commit to anything here - except the NEPTUNE trine. It's a start! But, c'mon. It's NEPTUNE. That's very, well, variable.

It's disposited by 29° PISCES MERCURY in the 4H, but not on the IC.

I find this interesting.

It's only real aspect is that NEPTUNE trine, in an Air sign AND house (so, all intellect and concept here), but its dispositor is none other than PISCES MERC.

See where I'm going?

It's not coincidence it's a GEMINI MOON, in VIRGO's natural house, trine only NEPTUNE in GEMINI's natural house, and disposited by MERCURY (which RULES both) IN PISCES.

Hmmmm. Emotion or intellect. Logic or passion. Feel it, or think it. Head or heart ... which will it be?

That degree isn't whistling Dixie, either. 29°? Either way, we're approaching an 'end-game' of sorts here. But being SO near-to 00° ARIES? This is a major changeover.

As the Aries Point is such a potent, public, 'notice me!' degree signifying new beginnings, this Watery MERC is just on the edge of stepping into not just the light, but the spotlight.

The trick is to tap into the passionate, Fiery ARIES smorgasbord. The wondrous blend of ARIES and LEO. (And, since MARS is part of it, it's a loop. That energy is all self-contained, and HUMMING with possibility to the point you can almost hear it.

How?

I think the answer lies in 25° CANCER VERTEX.

Thankfully, its dispositor is the MOON. There's a direct, though unconscious relationship. The MOON can draw from this point which is exactly opposing the heart of the ARIES stellium.

But, oh, dear. It's 8H. And, as expected, the MOON is 8R. The road to redemption, so to speak, is not smooth and unblocked. This vacillating, wavering, 'A or B?' is at the heart of the vulnerability quandary.

And it IS that, most definitely.

But, again, VERTEX, gateway to the unknown, championed by the Fates themselves, is energetically - and powerfully - linked to the ARIES stellium. In this way, the 8H leads to the 5H. Backwards-seeming, no?

Fortunately, the degree here is now 25° CANCER, not 04° GEMINI. It's getting a gentle nudge from 25° LEO ANGEL which is in perfect harmony with the 5H stellium.

It's all right there, Ceri.

Trust in the forces beyond our understanding, our comprehension, reach, and control. Let the beauty of that unknown overtake you; give in to the deepest yearnings of the heart; the stirrings of the soul.

That way, lies a sort of romantic paradise charted and blessed by those very same forces.

To try and control it, to refuse surrender, to analyse, debate, and reason, will allow you to drift, and wander, your own peaceful mental maze. Instead, break the solitary pattern by tapping into the greatness within your grasp - by nothing more than trusting yourself to it.

posted March 16, 2014 09:46 AM            

I wonder if it had something to do with the full moon? I had a dream about Cusp last night. I rarely dream about him...or at least remember my dreams. But I did this one. Unlike the last one I had of him some time ago, this one was different..so positive. I remember me loving and kissing on his two beautiful little girls. And then I remember him looking at me and for the very first time, kissing me so very gently...like it was our first kiss... I know it wasn't a fantasy..because I daydream about him and have control over those. This one I seemed to have no control over and I was over the moon..when he finally kissed me for the very first time...even if it was in a dream. It just felt too real. I would like to cast an event chart and see what might have been going on...given last night was significant (4 yr. anniversary of our meeting.)

Anyway, Ceri your remarks made me realize something. I cut Cusp out of my life two years ago in May thinking I was better off without him....he was married...there couldn't be a relationship...and I definitely couldn't continue to deal with his jealous wife anymore. I thought it was for the best....I thought I was doing the right thing. Move on, get over him..if he was only a catylast then his job is done right?

posted March 16, 2014 10:08 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by IndigoDirae:
So. Without further ado ...

---

Wow. Check out that grand cross of Mars/NN/Aura, Psyche/Anubis, Lilith and SN.

posted March 16, 2014 11:19 AM            

Have you reached any conclusion, even temporary, about the possible clues of a twinflame synastry?

posted March 16, 2014 12:20 PM            

Don´t quote

I will take them off again, but just for now want to see them in sequence. lol

april 2008

[/URL]

may 2008 (just before meeting him actually, a few days)

[/URL]

january 2010

[/URL]

autumn 2012 (before deciding to lose weight)

[/URL]

End 2013

[/URL]

beginning 2014

[/URL]

Today

(Actually the blouse is pretty wide already, so that distorts a little. Still comparing 2008 or 2012 with 2013/ 2014 - I am very very happy to have been able to come this far, and of course will continue)

[/URL]

posted March 16, 2014 12:25 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by tgem:
... I remember me loving and kissing on his two beautiful little girls ....

---

These words. There's something about these particular words that prompted me to act immediately.

A woman bends to nuzzle and 'kiss-attack' two young girls, who giggle at the onslaught of affection. She's their mother in every sense of the word; her love goes beyond the earthly plane, and there's an energy - a contentment surrounding all.

I'm not sure what to make of it, except that his children are HEAVILY involved in his karmic picture here.

I felt last night that what iQ said regarding your MARS / SATURN synastry isn't to be taken lightly, or disregarded. I have a different sense of iQ than I do Mel. While Mel and I often disagree on a level of 'colleagueship', iQ is pushing the limits of what my rational mind will allow me to comprehend in this earthly realm. My mind will go: 'that's madness!' but my soul chimes in, 'it doesn't make it any less correct.'

I feel this in regards to his delineation. There is SOMETHING lurking in this particular linkage. It needs to be thoroughly investigated.

You may come to understand through angles, progressions, MPs, and aspects how the energy could be sublimated, channelled, worked through - and so on.

But in its 'raw state', it IS there, and it IS a bugbear.

posted March 16, 2014 12:38 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by tgem:
Indigo, was that an event chart of your experience? How do you do an event chart? That really sounded beyond profound!!

I wonder if it had something to do with the full moon? I had a dream about Cusp last night. I rarely dream about him...or at least remember my dreams. But I did this one. Unlike the last one I had of him some time ago, this one was different..so positive. I remember me loving and kissing on his two beautiful little girls. And then I remember him looking at me and for the very first time, kissing me so very gently...like it was our first kiss... I know it wasn't a fantasy..because I daydream about him and have control over those. This one I seemed to have no control over and I was over the moon..when he finally kissed me for the very first time...even if it was in a dream. It just felt too real. I would like to cast an event chart and see what might have been going on...given last night was significant (4 yr. anniversary of our meeting.)

Anyway, Ceri your remarks made me realize something. I cut Cusp out of my life two years ago in May thinking I was better off without him....he was married...there couldn't be a relationship...and I definitely couldn't continue to deal with his jealous wife anymore. I thought it was for the best....I thought I was doing the right thing. Move on, get over him..if he was only a catylast then his job is done right?

But I have been more miserable these last two years (this past one especially) then I ever have! ....and it really makes me wonder..."am I really better off with him not in my life at all?" As difficult as the relationship was when we were friends, part of me would give anything to have some of those moments back...if even just briefly. I don't know.

---

Ah T-Gem,

that dream.

I was dreaming last night, too. Don`t quite recall him, but he has been there. I was recalling more about the place though.
Just hugging the walls to a castle -not quite the one in the village we love so much, but similiar, and hey, 9th june, him and me will be there! - Anyway *clears throat*

I was looking out of the window (still trying to pick my room in that appartment -my family was there, too, including my auntie- only a temporary one, but I wanted to have the room, not quite at the end of it, but I think the second room, looking out of the window I could spot this statue, and I looked at this little house, more a hut.
There was something written on this "Peter`s *place*" Not sure about the second word, but it was an alliteration.

And I remember thinking about Fay. Hearing a voice inside. Remember that story you thought of? The one about Fay?
It still needs to be written, she wants you to write it.

LOL

So my story-ideas come back haunting me. I know thout I will have to get back to that village to start writing, if I can really capture the images and the inspiration, that is
Strange dream.
He was somehow present as well, but just like behind the cameras, you know?
But then again he is always there.

Peter? Really?
Such an ordinary name!
(I always knew I couldn`t write that story until I as told "his" name. But Peter? Why not something extraordinary?
I mean the other one, Adrian, yeah that is a name my fantasy can work with, but Peter? So down to earth, so real. LOL
Funny enough Mr Sag`s name starts with a P, too. and my guardian`s soul name also - diff. name though, and neither being Peter).

OH I disgress.

But yes, from 2008 to 2010 I DID cut him out of my life, and I managed fairly well, except I was sick pretty much all the time. lol
But i was, numb. I didn`t know the difference, really. I did not know how alive life can feel.

But when I re-experienced that, there was not really a turning back, though I tried, in 2012 for half a year, and then in 2013 for 3 or 4 weeks. THAT was all I was able tom anage then, 3-4 weeks.

2 years - 9 months - 3 weeks; somehow it feels like it`s getting closer and closer.

Now? I don´t TRY anymore to stay away. To what purpose? What do I need to prove with that? To whom?
That Ican live without him?
Sure I can. I have done before meeting him.
It is not a question if I cannot exist without him. I simply don`t want to.
My life feels so much more alive and sparkly and happy and serene and live-worthy when he is part of it.
So that is how it is.

posted March 16, 2014 12:49 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by IndigoDirae:
These words. There's something about these particular words that prompted me to act immediately.

A woman bends to nuzzle and 'kiss-attack' two young girls, who giggle at the onslaught of affection. She's their mother in every sense of the word; her love goes beyond the earthly plane, and there's an energy - a contentment surrounding all.

I'm not sure what to make of it, except that his children are HEAVILY involved in his karmic picture here.

I felt last night that what iQ said regarding your MARS / SATURN synastry isn't to be taken lightly, or disregarded. I have a different sense of iQ than I do Mel. While Mel and I often disagree on a level of 'colleagueship', iQ is pushing the limits of what my rational mind will allow me to comprehend in this earthly realm. My mind will go: 'that's madness!' but my soul chimes in, 'it doesn't make it any less correct.'

I feel this in regards to his delineation. There is SOMETHING lurking in this particular linkage. It needs to be thoroughly investigated.

You may come to understand through angles, progressions, MPs, and aspects how the energy could be sublimated, channelled, worked through - and so on.

But in its 'raw state', it IS there, and it IS a bugbear.

Does that make sense? I haven't had my coffee yet.

---

posted March 16, 2014 12:50 PM            

continuing my responset o your interpretation of my event chart

"
That DESTINN's 1° orb conjunct SUN-MARS sells it for me. And in ARIES? Hello! That's got some movement to it."
Yes, definitely.

The sabian

"A Man Possessed Of More Gifts Than He Can Hold"

Don`t let me get into the imagery that produced in the context

"DESTINN = SUN / VENUS
DESTINN = MARS / UNION
DESTINN = MARS / VENUS
DESTINN = VALENTINE / VENUS"
I did not even notice. But you are oh so right!

"Hmmmm. Emotion or intellect. Logic or passion. Feel it, or think it. Head or heart ... which will it be?"
As I said I tried to rationalize it away. Apparently I failed.

"As the Aries Point is such a potent, public, 'notice me!' degree signifying new beginnings, this Watery MERC is just on the edge of stepping into not just the light, but the spotlight."
Yes, totally true.

"Fortunately, the degree here is now 25° CANCER, not 04° GEMINI."
Interestingly that means Moon was on the exact antiscion of Vertex-axis.

BTW HIS natal Venus is on 25 Capricorn and his Juno on 27 Cancer.

"Trust in the forces beyond our understanding, our comprehension, reach, and control. Let the beauty of that unknown overtake you; give in to the deepest yearnings of the heart; the stirrings of the soul.

To try and control it, to refuse surrender, to analyse, debate, and reason, will allow you to drift, and wander, your own peaceful mental maze. Instead, break the solitary pattern by tapping into the greatness within your grasp - by nothing more than trusting yourself to it.

I think it could be wonderful, indeed."

posted March 16, 2014 12:51 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by tgem:
"And I remember thinking about Fay. Hearing a voice inside. Remember that story you thought of? The one about Fay?
It still needs to be written, she wants you to write it."

Ceri!!! That's my middle name!!!! Spelled the Exact same way 😳

---

Are you kidding me?

LOL You don`t have very light blonde hair (with a slight streak of red) and sort of luminous (jadegreen I believe, but could also be a shade of blue) eyes though, do you?