posted November 17, 2014 06:50 PM            

Saturday night he was accusing me of being vague/lying about having another guy (We're not a couple, mind you and I told him I am keeping my options open)

Sunday, after asking to see me, he changed his mind and seemed apathetic

I am thoroughly frustrated & I have felt like withdrawing is in order to regain some perspective & not to acknowledge his bad behavior

posted November 17, 2014 06:58 PM            

Pulling away completely will only make him resent you, and either attack stronger, or cut you off altogether.

posted November 17, 2014 07:13 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by moonstruck87:
IV, thank you. I appreciate your feedback. I do agree that perhaps verbalizing my need for space is necessary. Honestly, I just wasn't sure if he would CARE.

I didn't want him to think that I was just saying it to be attention seeking, you know?

I know he likes me, I mean I'm not sure why else he would put in the energy to get so possessive of me.
But I do feel overwhelmed and toyed with. I love him, and I do want to be with him, but he doesn't ACT on initiating spending time with me. I pointed that out to him the other night when he was accusing me of lying. I told him he need not be concerned what I have going on with another guy, that I'm not committed to anyone at this time and that if he wants to spend time with me he just needs to act on it

I'm having a hard time seeing the forest for the trees right now. :-/

---

posted November 17, 2014 07:59 PM            

I have a hard time understanding him because he's so demanding of details about me seeing other men and says he "doesn't care", that he just wants me to be up front... I have been up front, as I said earlier, I've told him I'm keeping my options open

I would totally commit to him IF he were putting forth the effort to spend time with me, but he's so concerned with what I'm doing with other people

It feels childish really and my patience is running thin. I haven't done anything wrong & it's wrong of him to make me feel like I have.

posted November 17, 2014 08:51 PM            

So he said "okay if that's how you feel"

Then I felt like maybe I hadn't given things enough time to play out and when I told him that he wrote me off and started to be cruel

So after months of me reaching out in attempt to reconcile only to be ignored or given one word answers, he pops back in my life last month (I had stopped attempting to reach him for about two months at this point)

So now that he's back I'm suspicious of his motives. I've been a bit distant, but I do reciprocate messages when he reaches out.

We have only seen each other once (last Sunday) since May...

Again, not sure what he wants and his possessive behavior is new to me as he was telling me before he didn't want a relationship "right now" or to lead me on

posted November 17, 2014 09:22 PM              

quote:

---

Originally posted by lvASTRO:
He's getting attached and is at the point where he fears losing you. This is where possessive and jealous behavior comes in.

Pulling away completely will only make him resent you, and either attack stronger, or cut you off altogether.

Be up front with him. Tell him EXACTLY how you're feeling and that he is coming on too strong. If you are upfront, he will appreciate it. Pulling away, but not telling him, even if for space, SEEMS like a game/manipulation, and the Scorpio will not appreciate it/see right through.

---

Excellent!

Yes, if you intend to have a future with this person, don't.

posted November 17, 2014 09:25 PM            

Tips tips? Lol

I did tell him, as previously mentioned, that if he wants me he shouldn't worry about my dealings with anyone else but rather should focus on spending time with me. So I'm not sure what else to add to that. He knows what he needs to do. I can't make him do it.

And also, I know that just bc a Scorpio chases you doesn't mean they really want you so that's a concern I have too

posted November 17, 2014 11:19 PM            

I am heavily Scorpionic, and the thought of my object of interest saying, "Don't worry about what I do with others, just spend time with me," would INFURIATE me. This doesn't excuse any of his actions, but have you considered that maybe he wants you, for you--like, to be an item? Have a straight up conversation with him.

He will hold back until he knows that he has you and can trust his feelings to you. Scorpios are usually not the first to lay it on the table.

My partner is also heavily Scorpio, more so than I, and was not forthcoming with such information. The moment he knew that I was 'his,' the emotion, feeling, intimacy, his time and dedication--everything but the kitchen sink came flowing from behind a dam of his own initial hesitancy.

posted November 17, 2014 11:46 PM            

He said he doesn't care who else I'm seeing at all and that he was joking around & told me I need to learn to take a joke

He says he doesn't know what he wants with me or anyone.

So when I got emotional he asked me why I was upset and I told him I was disappointed and he asked me why and I told him I was hoping we could get to know each other better still and that I like knowing where I stand with people

He says that he doesn't know what he wants (again) and told me not to upset myself over such stupid things

So there ya have it. I over analyzed it all apparently.
I'm disappointed bc I feel like he's put me thru the ringer, but I am glad I know.

posted November 17, 2014 11:53 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by moonstruck87:
Well I spoke to him tonight & asked him what the other night and his accusations about me lying meant

He said he doesn't care who else I'm seeing at all and that he was joking around & told me I need to learn to take a joke

He says he doesn't know what he wants with me or anyone.

So when I got emotional he asked me why I was upset and I told him I was disappointed and he asked me why and I told him I was hoping we could get to know each other better still and that I like knowing where I stand with people

He says that he doesn't know what he wants (again) and told me not to upset myself over such stupid things

So there ya have it. I over analyzed it all apparently.
I'm disappointed bc I feel like he's put me thru the ringer, but I am glad I know.

I think now the best thing is for me to drop off his radar. I can't handle not knowing where I stand with someone and just letting them have their way with me when I've made my feelings known to them.

---

That's terrible. =(
I'm sorry. I get the sense that's not really how he's feeling.

He's probably a less evolved type, from the sounds of it. You're better off. Other fish in the sea, love.

posted November 17, 2014 11:59 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by moonstruck87:
I love him, and I do want to be with him

---

If you don't want to be with him then end it.
Scorpios do have a tendency to be all or nothing so this won't work well with your quote above.

posted November 18, 2014 05:44 AM            

I'm not angry with him or anything. I'm really glad I reached out and I definitely appreciate all the feedback given to me :-)

Again, I think the best thing to do is to drop of his radar. I don't see the whole "going with the flow" thing he seems to want me to do. I don't think it's healthy for me to do that.

Once more, thank you all for taking the time to give your advice

posted November 18, 2014 06:16 AM            

He made me feel really stupid for bringing it up and told me I was being dramatic - I told him I was seeking clarity on his odd behavior.

So even though I'm glad (for myself) that I talked to him, he swears it was annoying and he dislikes those conversations.

posted November 18, 2014 08:04 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by moonstruck87:
how does that go over? I'm not doing it to play games, I really needed to have some space from his extremes

Saturday night he was accusing me of being vague/lying about having another guy (We're not a couple, mind you and I told him I am keeping my options open)

Sunday, after asking to see me, he changed his mind and seemed apathetic

I am thoroughly frustrated & I have felt like withdrawing is in order to regain some perspective & not to acknowledge his bad behavior

Experiences with ignoring Scorpios? I am a Cancer so I usually vibe extremely well with Scorpios (and with him!) but lately he's vibrating such a low energy that I simply cannot understand & I don't want to start patterns, I have no room for ******** in my life anymore, I want his attention, but I want his respect and devotion more

---

How can you expect respect and devotion when you tell a guy "you're keeping your options open"? Especially with a Scorpio, that's a no go.

It's OK if you keep your options open and you're honest and tell a guy you're dating others as well, you haven't decided yet (if it's only about dating, of course), but when you do this, you can expect some guys to react by starting an intensive courtship to be the "one" you choose or to retreat and not accept the challenge. But you certainly can't expect devotion before you're offering it yourself. My opinion

------------------

posted November 18, 2014 09:47 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by LeeLoo2014:
How can you expect respect and devotion when you tell a guy "you're keeping your options open"? Especially with a Scorpio, that's a no go.

It's OK if you keep your options open and you're honest and tell a guy you're dating others as well, you haven't decided yet (if it's only about dating, of course), but when you do this, you can expect some guys to react by starting an intensive courtship to be the "one" you choose or to retreat and not accept the challenge. But you certainly can't expect devotion before you're offering it yourself. My opinion

---

LeeLoo, My reason for creating this thread was bc I wanted to know if ignoring his bad behavior (accusing me of lying when I didn't and interrogating me) would help or hurt the situation. We weren't even dating, which is why his behavior was strange and unsound to me. I couldn't assume he wanted to date me, but I felt like he cared because of his possessive nature towards me.

I was advised to talk to him about his confusing and possessive behavior, so I did & he said that he "doesn't care" who I date/if I'm dating, that he was giving me a hard time and he doesn't know what he wants.

I don't think he's being honest, and if he is then I'm shocked he would put so much energy into acting that way for a "joke" when he "doesn't care", but I'm not going to read into his behavior anymore. Energetically I cannot.

I have told him previously that if he wanted to pursue a relationship with me / get to know me more that I am open to that & want that, but he won't even tell me anything except that he "doesn't know what he wants.

posted November 18, 2014 10:14 AM            

------------------

posted November 18, 2014 11:01 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by moonstruck87:
I feel I expressed my stance to him. I guess I'll see where he takes it from here :-)

Thanks for your feedback

---

You're welcome! Good luck!