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Author
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Topic: Hope to get Cancer man back (genuine question)?
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StarryEyedDreamer
Newflake Posts: 7
From: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, USA
Registered: Nov 2015
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posted December 02, 2015 10:25 AM
  
Hello, my name is Ashley. I wasn't sure if you'd be able to offer me any advice? I've honestly hit rock bottom and don't know where to turn. I'm Taurus with Leo moon and Pis venus. My ex is Cancer with Pis moon and Gem venus. We've been best friends for 6 years, dated for 3. Towards the end of the relationship--2 mo ago--we had a lack of communication partly due to not seeing each other much, partly due to my personal issue of abandonment, etc. I talked to friends more so about my feelings than him, and I made the foolish decision to break up with him. He was devastated, spent the first month trying to figure out what went wrong, that I was the one etc. He ended up forming a bond with a mutual friend and now has a rebound crush on her, though she hasn't shown she does back. This past month, everything hit me like a ton of bricks; how much I truly did love him, felt he was also the one, etc. They say you don't realize what you have until it's gone, and I can honestly say that this is the truth. I've told him all of this, apologized genuinely etc. In person, he says he can tell that I'm genuine, that I love him, but he's hurt and afraid I'll leave him again. His trust has been shattered--he was going to propose to me I found out at end of breakup. He's requested no contact for a few days to really think about everything. I feel so hopeless and depressed--my fate, in a way, is in his hands, and I'm terrified. I really, truly feel that we're meant to be. No doubts, no what ifs. Deep in my soul I know. But I don't know how to let him really see this--he's so hurt and afraid--I don't blame him. He's said in passing that we'll always be the best of friends, no matter what happens, but with the way I'm feeling, I don't feel I could be his friend if he was with someone else. I know I've been very stubborn and dense--karma certainly comes around--but I truly believe we're meant to be. Help? :'( IP: Logged |
Kate August
Knowflake Posts: 39
From: NYC
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted December 02, 2015 10:44 AM
Ashley, I feel for you and I hope everything turns around. I'll share with you my experience with what I learned from dating my Cancer boyfriend who is now my husband.In my experience, Cancers have two speeds: they never go back or they take a long time to forgive. You may have to give him space and definitely honor his time out. No contact and try and make it through by keeping busy. It's what I did when we broke up. He asked for a two week time out and I gave it to him and we got back together. Especially since he took your break up so hard is why it's okay to give him time. If he really loves you, he will recognize it. However, you don't want to keep battering him with your emotions because he will only get confused and the point will be clouded; you are the girl for him. He needs to come back to that. Good luck to you! IP: Logged |
StarryEyedDreamer
Newflake Posts: 7
From: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, USA
Registered: Nov 2015
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posted December 02, 2015 11:40 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Kate August:
Ashley, I feel for you and I hope everything turns around. I'll share with you my experience with what I learned from dating my Cancer boyfriend who is now my husband.In my experience, Cancers have two speeds: they never go back or they take a long time to forgive. You may have to give him space and definitely honor his time out. No contact and try and make it through by keeping busy. It's what I did when we broke up. He asked for a two week time out and I gave it to him and we got back together. Especially since he took your break up so hard is why it's okay to give him time. If he really loves you, he will recognize it. However, you don't want to keep battering him with your emotions because he will only get confused and the point will be clouded; you are the girl for him. He needs to come back to that. Good luck to you!
Thank you so much for your words of wisdom, I truly appreciate it. *hugs*
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charlie
Knowflake Posts: 3435
From:
Registered: Jun 2012
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posted December 02, 2015 12:13 PM
Cancers always come back; sooner or later, if feelings are still there. Don't contact him too much cause it'll make him retreat even more. IP: Logged |
Kate August
Knowflake Posts: 39
From: NYC
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted December 03, 2015 09:23 AM
You're so welcome Ashley.If you guys do get back together, don't let your break up be the focal point of things. There are reasons you didn't think things were working and you'd have to address them. I don't know if it's a guy thing or a Cancer guy thing but sometimes they're a little clueless to difficult situations and the tension they bring. Things build and build and you're going crazy and they don't see it. Can't tell you how many times it's happened with me and my husband!
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lalalinda
Moderator Posts: 4633
From: nevada
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 03, 2015 06:58 PM
Hello StarryEyedDreamer! Welcome to LL  ------------------
"There ain't no revolution, only evolution, but every time I'm in Georgia I 'eat a peach' for peace." Duane Allman IP: Logged |
PiscesCancerTaurus
Knowflake Posts: 304
From: Finland
Registered: Jun 2013
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posted December 03, 2015 08:18 PM
I'll speak as a Cancer female. I personally appreciate when someone gives me some space to think about my feelings, especially when they have hurt me. However, I also like when someone doesn't give up on me. If I know someone loves me and they have hurt me I kind of like them to put up a fight for me just reassure that they do love me and I am worth it. If that makes any sense. Hope that helps. If you know he is the one don't go down without a fight!!! Apologize and let him know you messed up and most of all BE HONEST!!!IP: Logged | |
Lindaland
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