posted February 01, 2016 09:51 PM            

I'm a Capricorn, Aries rising (but late enough that my 7th house intercepts all of Scorpio), a Virgo moon (plus a stellium of 5 other planets/sensitive points in Virgo).

I met a Scorpio woman on line this past summer. We talked a bit, and I liked her, but it didn't lead anywhere. Then she contacted me out of the blue a couple months ago and we started talking, became friends and we finally went on a date about a week ago. I was trying to follow various googled advice on how to court a Scorpio and figure out how to ask her for a second date, where to suggest, how often to contact her, when, and for how long, to strategically ignore her, etc., etc.

THEN, Last night, I saw her on Facebook and said "hi." It so happened that she was going through a crisis and very upset: she lost something it'll cost $3k to replace at a cafe which happened to be near my house so I volunteered to look for it. I didn't find it but she met me there - she really was in a bad way. She was crying a lot and told me about recent events in her life and apparently this was the latest in a string of difficult experiences. I shared some of my own troubles...

Long story short, we ended up grabbing some fast food, going back to her house and talking most of the night. She shared some really vulnerable stuff with me. And it grew more an more personal as the night wore on. I've no doubt there's a lot more she didn't share but I definitely got the feeling these weren't things she usually discloses during a 2nd meeting.

There were no epic physical encounters - and I'm pretty sure it's better that way anyways. I wouldn't want her to mistake sincere (and it is sincere) desire to be there for her w/an attempt use her vulnerability to get laid. But we did cuddle some and held hands from time to time and she cried a lot (for good reason, she's had a painful year, I won't go into details). But we also joked around and got really silly too. And when I left in the morning she (still half asleep) kissed me on the chin.

So, sorry for being longwinded, here's the question:

Today, after I got home this morning, she's been very... attentive: she's NEVER posted a my FB wall before but this morning posted a big "thank you," on my facebook wall, for "being so awesome" and "such a great friend" and how she's truly thankful and "blessed to know" me.

While I've been trying to figure out if that post means she just publicly marked her territory on my FB wall or publicly friend-zoned me in the most polite and empathetic way, she's been blowing up my phone about how I was there for her, and it shocked her, and thanking me profusely.

I really like her and now she seems to be showing interest (though maybe she just wants to be friends and I'm misreading... idk... anyway). All the random advice says that when you see signs of interest in a Scorpio woman, you should pull away and let her chase you. But she's been really vulnerable and that sounds cold...

Any advice and/or analysis would be much appreciated.

posted February 02, 2016 03:10 AM            

As a Scorpio woman, I can't speak for others, and I'm sure there are other factors in my chart as well, but i want to be chased. End of story, I will never do the chasing. If someone pulls away I find it very painful but it is the reaction I am used to, but in my scenario you'll probably get the famous Scorpio ice out and I'll never fully trust or open up to you again. So I dunno what advice people are giving about pulling away and letting the Scorpio woman do the chasing but that is whack in my opinion.

posted February 02, 2016 04:24 AM            

1. Chasing or not chasing
I have never been strongly attracted to any man in my life who didn't chase me. I don't want a guy who is not sure about me or lukewarm about me. I am all about intensity and passion - so someone should feel that way about me or else why bother?

2. The Friendzone
Being honest, for me, posting on your wall does seem like a public friendzone. I would rarely be so public with someone I had serious romantic interest in (too vulnerable) BUT please don't take that to mean the friendzone is a permanent place. The best relationships I have had have come from the friendzone when all of a sudden I looked at the guy and saw him in a new light.

3. Open conversations and instant vulnerability
People think us Scorpios are closed books, but actually from my perspective I am only partly closed. A lot of the time I do want to talk and share and the act of doing that with another person would definitely bring me closer to them.

What I crave?
Intimacy / oneness / passionate connection

In your position I would act like a teasing big brother, not too much pressure or TOO much interest at first but let her know you like her. Then probably wait for the exact right moment and confidently tell her that you knew there is something more than friendship and why not explore it.

For me, the men I have fallen hardest for in my life made the leap outta the friendzone, but they did it with quiet determinatation rather than desperation.

But if a guy ever played hard to get or ignored me?

posted February 02, 2016 10:42 AM            

quote:

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Long story short, we ended up grabbing some fast food, going back to her house and talking most of the night. She shared some really vulnerable stuff with me. And it grew more an more personal as the night wore on. I've no doubt there's a lot more she didn't share but I definitely got the feeling these weren't things she usually discloses during a 2nd meeting.

There were no epic physical encounters - and I'm pretty sure it's better that way anyways. I wouldn't want her to mistake sincere (and it is sincere) desire to be there for her w/an attempt use her vulnerability to get laid. But we did cuddle some and held hands from time to time and she cried a lot (for good reason, she's had a painful year, I won't go into details). But we also joked around and got really silly too. And when I left in the morning she (still half asleep) kissed me on the chin.

---

Wow, you are awesome!!!

How many men would do that???

I can't answer your question as I'm not a Scorpio, but I have an 8H moon...and my preference, if I were in that situation, would be for the guy to be perfectly consistent and stable. No games, no playing around at all.

quote:

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So I dunno what advice people are giving about pulling away and letting the Scorpio woman do the chasing but that is whack in my opinion.

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posted February 02, 2016 10:49 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by misspriss:
I have never been strongly attracted to any man in my life who didn't chase me. I don't want a guy who is not sure about me or lukewarm about me. I am all about intensity and passion - so someone should feel that way about me or else why bother?

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Same here.

quote:

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Originally posted by misspriss:
2. The Friendzone
The best relationships I have had have come from the friendzone when all of a sudden I looked at the guy and saw him in a new light.

---

Same here.

quote:

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Originally posted by misspriss:
For me, the men I have fallen hardest for in my life made the leap outta the friendzone, but they did it with quiet determinatation rather than desperation.

But if a guy ever played hard to get or ignored me?

I'd forget him and assume we had zero connection

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I must be more Scorpio than I thought!

Well, it's the 8th house moon & Scorpio NN...and sun square Pluto.

posted February 02, 2016 06:41 PM            

Scorpio women be all tough but inside they just want to be loved.

Do not be clingy. BUT
That means know her rhythm. Ever person has one, you do.

If she is going through bad time she would need lots of cheering up and i think you did good of taking her out and just being there.

posted February 05, 2016 08:29 PM            

She says she wants to see where this goes but she's a little confused and has been hurt. I think, actually, she's been hurt badly multiple times

Our second (or third) date is tonight (at least I think it's a date, she invited me to go w/her and her friends). Hopefully it goes well! thanks again for the advice.

posted February 06, 2016 01:19 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by xenon541:
Thank you guys for the advice! Well, I did NOT pull away and try to get her to chase me. I called her the next her in the evening, on the next day. I did that before I got any responses to my original message because, romance aside, ignoring her after she openned up to me just seemed wrong on a human level. We talked for a while and she repeatedly thanked me for seeing her through the night (it almost made me a little embarrassed, not that I'm complaining). That was 4 days ago and we have texted back and forth throughout the week. Other than that first day she's ignored my phone calls but chatted w/me frequently on Facebook and via text.

She says she wants to see where this goes but she's a little confused and has been hurt. I think, actually, she's been hurt badly multiple times

Our second (or third) date is tonight (at least I think it's a date, she invited me to go w/her and her friends). Hopefully it goes well! thanks again for the advice.

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That's really good that she wants to see where it goes.

What was your original message, just saying hi ! right ?

BUT Relationships take TIME especially if she is hurt from knowing each other to knowing what you both want, dealing with each other fears and then there are all practical things which should come together.

Love is patient and love is kind. Anything you would do to further make her vulnerable or make her pity on things she would get upset. Just be kind, if she wants to tell you about things have hurt her then she would but don't push it as she would balk.

posted February 08, 2016 06:40 PM            

Besides, even though astrology can and will tell you a lot about people, its best to just feel it out. If you think it would be cold to do that to her, then it will. Also who wants to freaking play mind games. JUST BE, and if it's meant to be, it will. And if not that's fine, but at least you know you were an honest person.