posted August 10, 2017 06:32 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by harmonicvibes:
your a fire sign I am as well fire sag fire leo...so yeah I understand what you are saying...I just did not understand why it had to be so damn difficult...

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posted August 10, 2017 06:33 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by GrlyGirl200:
This....you're so right in what you're saying. I have a Cap/Aqua friend who is similar but expresses herself a heck of a lot less passionately than I do lol. And I've been where she is literally on here getting feedback and help from you guys either way it either works out or it doesn't.

I also can see both sides, and that it should be easy. I'm also quite fire like with Sun and Mars in the 1st (I want what I want). I solved that issue for me by making what I want known and a man either steps up or I move on...my Mer in Leo and Sun Conjunct Asc refuses to wait after I've made what I want known and he doesn't take the bait lol. Cheers!

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Yes, that's what I think: it should be easy. I have a friend who has had all kinds of bad relationships. She's now getting married, is very happy, planning everything, having fun, and one thing she always points out is that he never left her doubting herself, or their relationship. He has shown his interest from their first date.

That's what I need (and to have it be mutual - not the troublemakers from the past). That's what I've held out for. I need that in my friendships, too, although I've been a lot looser with that requirement in the past. In a romantic relationship, I would need to know that someone is *there*. Not going to pull the rug out from under me. Not going to disappear.

posted August 10, 2017 07:46 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by GrlyGirl200:
Actually what are your placements? You said your Sun is Sag and Moon is in Leo...he's a Libra Sun and Pisces Moon. What are the other placements? Rising? That is important because it will show if you affect him emotionally or sexually etc. That might be a clue as to why his behavior is baffling.

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posted August 11, 2017 02:30 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by harmonicvibes:
I don't know his placements....his Venus is libra mine is scorpio my as is Aquarius I don't know his asc. I don't know any of our placements synastry wise...I do know he has some of his planets in my 8th house, his Venus connects to my sun

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So from my understanding:

Your chart:
Asc Aqua
Sun Sag
Moon Leo
Mer ?
Venus Scorpio
Mars ?

His chart:
Sun Libra
Moon Pisces
Mer ?
Venus Libra
Mars Gemini

Do you know his Mercury placement? Also what is your Mercury and Mars?

posted August 11, 2017 04:12 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by harmonicvibes:
He is mercury in Virgo and I'm mercury in scorpio...no we don't or didn't every few days prior to me going out there....while I was there well...we all know what happened more or less lol :-/

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I figured you were Mercury in Scorpio, you took what I said personally. But that's cool, it just shows you're very sensitive.

So let me warn you...this will be long lol.

Ok, so he has his Mercury in Virgo which is it's natural ruler and he has Mars in Gemini ruled by that Mercury Virgo. His Venus in Libra is also at it's strongest (ruler) and is ruling his Sun.

Obviously I don't know his Asc, and other placements in his natal, but I think this guy is not as sensitive as you might think. In fact he is verging on very very analytical, even more than you could fathom. In fact I'm pretty confident he uses a lot of communication devices, social media...etc. Anyway with this guy, it's gonna be hard to get him in a relationship. VERY VERY hard...mainly because he is so analytical, FICKLE, lacks staying power (no fixed placements in his personal planets) and is FLIRTY (which I KNOW your Scorpio Venus will NOT be able to deal with).

Honestly, I really really don't think you guys are right for each other...and it's not a matter of him being into you or not. I say that because his placements scream someone who likes a LOT of (beautiful) variety, and that does not gel with the Scorpio part of you...or the 8th house overlays. In fact it wouldn't surprise me if he probably wanted to or has been polyamorous (this would literally satisfy his Sun/Venus in Libra need for relationships, Gemini Mars need for variety, and Pisces Moon need for emotion and love). There is sensitivity with his Pisces Moon (and honestly I'm glad he has it), BUT it is also a non discriminating Moon. Meaning he could be in a relationship with you and just as easily get feelings for the new girl he just met who he believes is his "soul mate." And then a week later be over her. That will not gel with you as a Scorpio Venus. That is another thing I want to point out. Because he doesn't have any fixed placements (unlike you), he would be more inclined to pursue something (Cardinal Sun), but lose interest (Mutable Mars). That is opposite to your fixed Moon, Mercury, and Venus (I have no idea what your Mars is in...actually where is your Mars?).

So having said that, if you really still want to get him, the trick to getting him is through his mind or COMMUNICATION (and only communication). I think as a Scorpio Venus/Mercury/Leo Moon you're approaching things based off of how you feel. Don't! That won't work with him. He is literally driven by what is intellectually interesting, ever changing, and novel. So the key is to tap into that Aqua Rising of yours, and make it so that he CRAVES talking to you. Then any attraction or feelings he has/desire for you will show itself. I can't promise he won't want others while with you (as a Gemini Mars...I'm sure he will), BUT if he is "in love" with your mind it will at least cause him to want a relationship with you.

In the meantime I would also try really really hard to back off of ANY intense emotional talks/arguments etc with him. I can not stress how important it is to understand that he is not as passionate, sensitive, or all consuming as you (this of course may not be the case depending on his Asc). But seriously deal with him as casual and lighthearted as you can. You may say you're being lighthearted to him or about him, but his Pisces Moon can pick up on how you feel. And that's why he probably kept his distance from you. At the end of the day you might actually be too intense for him.

Is your Mars at least in one of the signs he has? Because that would help a great deal.

posted August 11, 2017 12:33 PM            

"All in all I have no idea how old you are but seriously life is far too short to waste it wondering if a guy wants you or not. I'm sure you're gorgeous so if he doesnt want to partake in the awesomeness that is you and just wants to give you money or whatever, find someone else who will give you what you want. Their are tons of great guys out there. Or if this works for you fine. Cheers! "
~GrlyGirl200

though I found it very pop-psychology and superficial, easy advice. (Though also good-hearted.) I prefer in depth psychology. I stated my opinion:

"I also think people approach life in different ways. Those of us with enhanced Air might find more value in deciphering the psychology of a relationship and determining how to repair and/or create mental (and physical/emotional/spiritual) bonds. Predominantly Earth people might find more obvious value in mowing their partner's lawn. Predominantly Fire might find more initial value in just moving ahead in a relationship and seeing what happens. Water would find initial value in nurturing and demonstrating their care. But entities of all energies seem to benefit from a more holistic approach to relationships where all approaches are used in a more balanced manner. This balance may be the only way to discover the true potential of any relationship. (Says the Libra Sun/Venus/Uranus.)"

but my opinion was inspired by GrandFireT's comment:

"Time wasted fretting over distressed relationships
is better spent cleaning one's own closets."

because it was carefully worded and thoughtful and I found it necessary to ponder it for a few moments. It inspired my above thoughts and I shared them. You then quoted me and began a dissertation on your opinion of the subject. Because you mentioned me and my post specifically, I will respond, though I don't really appreciate your style/tone of conversation to both myself or the original poster. I, therefore, doubt you will appreciate the style/tone of this response but since I wasn't ever talking to you and feel a bit bombarded and forced into a response, here you go:

"And indecisive Libra or not when a person wants something or someone they go after it."
~GG

Nope. Not everyone. But it doesn't surprise me that you think that way. You seem a little pushy and aggressive and overbearing in your speech so maybe you have an average to a lot of Fire. Not everyone is the same.

"But let's not discount this is a grown man (I assume not a teenager) who is quite aware of how to go after a woman."
~GG

Yes, we've all read "He's Just Not That Into You" and the other similar pop-psychology of the moment. Once again, people are different. People have different sensitivities. People have different fears. People have different wounds. While telling yourself that he's not that into you if he doesn't respond like an alpha male is helpful if you are obsessing over a man who barely knows you exist, it is not helpful when you are dealing with someone you've known for years and/or possibly (in this case, I believe) have had a connection on the physical, mental, and emotional levels. Then the thinking in He's Just Not That Into You type of psychology is simply EGO based.
Ego based means "you" first and thinking of yourself and your survival as an entity separate from The Whole. While this is EXTREMELY helpful for women who are wallowing and obsessing about men who barely know them, and dealing with men who are abusive, it is not helpful in becoming a strong, open-hearted, unselfish, generous, understanding, and wise Being. The people you love WILL make mistakes. Men you don't know well but who want to date you WILL make mistakes. It is good to observe the mistakes and make decisions on whether to date them based on if their level of maturity matches you own. You don't choose a man and then try to change his fundamental characteristics and personality or seek out men who are more wounded than you and attempt to "heal" them. Obviously.

Most importantly, it is good to observe their behavior and not take it personally. This works with all people and all human relationships. Some people will try to force themselves upon you. So, you set boundaries. Some people will be so interesting they will draw you in and you will really really want to connect with them. If they don't respond well to your advances, you should leave them alone. They are just not that into you. For whatever reasons. These reasons are not important for your to attempt to ascertain.

If, however, they respond to you strongly for a while and there is a real connection/relationship but then their fears begin to surface, you don't just abandon them because they do not stick to some well defined script you have in your mind of How People Should Act Towards Me. This is immature and based on Ego.

We are here to help each other. We can't FORCE others to help us and can't FORCE others to accept our help. But we can share gently with one another in the spirit of sharing what God/The Universe/Higher Wisdom and Intelligence would have us Share.

And if we don't like how someone responds to us, we can stop responding to them before we get deeply involved.

posted August 11, 2017 04:38 PM            

quote:

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If, however, they respond to you strongly for a while and there is a real connection/relationship but then their fears begin to surface, you don't just abandon them because they do not stick to some well defined script you have in your mind of How People Should Act Towards Me.

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You don't have to have a lot of fire, to be pushy. Maybe that's because I'm balanced in three of the elements, but I wasn't pushy for a long time. I still generally am not. With that one guy, I eventually was.

I had a Libra ditch me when my life was getting worse. As a friend. Someone who inserted themselves in the middle of something. They left a drowning person. Also: nothing had been communicated until I asked, and then good-naturedly agreed to a break. I was relieved. Until I got blasted for expressing that relief. I guess I was supposed to feel bad about myself. It wasn't bad enough that I was already grieving, and dealing with a lot. I was also reduced from "friend" to "someone who shared good music, occasionally". That's where pulled rugs come in. Re-written history.

My Sadge mother was engaged to a Libra man who did nothing but lie to her, it seemed. He always had an excuse for losing money, for example. He was romantic, and I guess there were no complaints bedroom-wise. Until he raped her one night, after she'd had surgery, and wasn't up for "it". That's pretty damned "pushy". He brought drugs into the house, my younger sister found them, and asked mum what they were.

No element is better than the others, or more understanding. Same goes for the signs of the zodiac.

posted August 11, 2017 07:29 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Mystic Melody:
Girly, we often respond to ourselves more than others and I'm sure the advice you are giving is perfect for yourself, or a past aspect of yourself. However, I would like to be allowed to respond to the original poster without being beaten down with your opinion over and over. I did read your original post that GrandFireT applauded:

"...though I found it very pop-psychology and superficial, easy advice. (Though also good-hearted.) I prefer in depth psychology. I stated my opinion."

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No, not at all upset by your response. The above comment from you (put above) was a rude, and frankly uncalled for (and thinly veiled) attempt to put down my comments, despite the fact that I do have an I/O psych background. I apologize that you felt that I was beating my opinion down on you, as that was not my intention at all. Having said that, you are ultimately responsible for how you feel, based upon what you perceive my actions or words to be.

I have to respectfully disagree with you and a lot of your post. I'm sure you read the other posts that had me go in depth as to why she should express how she feels to him, and go from there. To ultimately focus on one's self, express needs, wants, desires and make decisions based on that; it's strange that we as a society are calling that "pop psychology." The idea of fixing yourself first, figuring out your wants, desires, needs...expressing them...and then owning the reality of a situation based on the other's response...wow that does sound crazy doesn't it?

Bad joke aside, the thing to keep in mind is pop psychology has a kernel of truth. While very much superficial it was made to empower the recipient because most of the time people don't like cold hard facts, or doing the hard work of figuring out what is going on with themselves first. In other words it was created because most people don't really want to do the hard work. In general people want to hear something that is going to reaffirm their beliefs. This situation right now is one of those such examples, and that is (in my opinion) why I believe you were so upset by my comment of you to the OP. You were talking specifically about certain placements of his (specifically his Moon and Mars), while not taking into consideration the rest of his or her chart. Or the fact that perhaps they have placements that would create some sort of clash that would make relating difficult, but not impossible (which they do...others and myself have pointed this out). Only because it seems as though you want to reaffirm the belief that sometimes people can deeply want you but not do anything about it. Despite that fact that psychology (as in actual research) has shown us time and time again this is not (for most people all things considered equal) generally the case.

This also ties into why you were so offended in terms of how I spoke to the OP. I'm literally one of a couple on here who went out of my way to tell her my unbiased and unemotional opinion despite it not doing anything for me, compliment her (because you can tell she likes him...and I believe she herself wondered about him finding her attractive...which is a horrible feeling for anyone to have to have), but also put emphasis on talking to him as I think she'll get her answer that way, or at least bridge the gap with him. I'm going off the topic of her because I gave my opinion on their placements as much as I could without their chart, her Mars placement or his Asc (which depending on what it is could be a game changer).

"He's Just Not that Into You" is an overly simplistic book, BUT it has a whole lot of truth to it (to an extent). Study after study...including various motivational theories back it up. Study after study also shows us that humans tend to respond in a certain ways, and this is minus our astrological sign. For instance people who are considered more attractive are more likely to cheat, another finding is men who believe their partner or spouse is more attractive than them are more likely to treat their partner better, than if they consider themselves to be more attractive. This is common sense, that a man would value a more attractive woman even over any financial status she may bring. In short generally men honestly could care less how much a woman makes, they care significantly more about looks. We know these facts, but of course it should be proven. And astrology doesn't change this. This of course relates to being a "trophy wife." Obviously it's simplistic but completely spot on.

quote:

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Originally posted by Mystic Melody:

"And indecisive Libra or not when a person wants something or someone they go after it."
~GG

Nope. Not everyone. But it doesn't surprise me that you think that way. You seem a little pushy and aggressive and overbearing in your speech so maybe you have an average to a lot of Fire. Not everyone is the same.

"But let's not discount this is a grown man (I assume not a teenager) who is quite aware of how to go after a woman."
~GG

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As far as my placements go or what you believe to be pushy or overbearing, that again is a matter of interpretation and personal opinion. I like me, have no reason to change, and if others have an issue with it that is on them beyond my need to treat them with the same civility I'd demand. I am heavily Venusian/7th house, Scorpio, Cancer and Capricorn so take that in whatever way you would like. This does show how synastry can be between people. Perhaps the same synastry that might exist with us, and causes you to dislike my speech, is the same synastry that might be between the OP and the male she inquired about or others.

In regards to the above quote, and the later alpha male comment, you are cherry picking specific comments, while again leaving out what I had been emphasizing the whole time...that she communicate with him. But in reference to the above, I am assuming you are familiar with the various (take your pick actually) motivational theories in psychology that support the idea that (again this does not take into consideration different variables) when someone wants something they tend to go after it (Libra or not). In terms of romance, obviously this does not mean that each male will boldy proclaim he wants you, no. What it does mean is a male will make his interest known, in some capacity (my own opinion is probably through being a friend). He will be around you, and want to spend time if not romantically than he'll try to be a platonic friend (this is my own opinion). The key here is he is going after what he wants, just in a covert way. And that does not include astrology. So no, research does actually back up the fact that human beings tend to go after what they want (or need). This has nothing to do with being a Libra, or being alpha. That is a fact. So yes, find whatever fault you would like with what I said; that it was harsh in tone, overbearing, or whatever, etc. That does not change the fact that a large portion of what I said is not opinion but has been statistically found to be true based on research in both the psych and sociology community.

And to show you that this is indeed researched (and I do not have my PsychInfo membership anymore) here is just a small sample of motivation and how it can be applied to genders (specifically men).

Here is a psych class discussing motivation in regards to the sexes and how that can be tested
- http://www.umich.edu/~psycours/531/becker.chapter4.htm

posted August 12, 2017 02:28 PM            

YOU, I was totally "into". In a girl crush/friend kind of way. We touched souls and I will always be with you. I just don't put up with bs. I don't put up with bs from my daughter. I don't put up with bs from my lover. I won't put up with it from you. I give what I want to give and won't be pushed into giving more than I am capable, or willing to, give at the time. This is my Truth. This is who I am. Those who want my love must accept this reality whether they agree with it or not. They are not allowed the luxury of pretending I am someone I am not while trying to change me into the person they think I am, wish I was, or want me to be. I am sorry you did not Know me enough and counted on me to be someone who I was not. While that may change the feelings you had/have for me, it did not change the feelings I had/have for you.
The reality is that we were not that close. We had the potential to be. It was just never realized. You expected too much from me instead of observing and appreciating what I was trying to give to you. If what I give to you is not good enough.... just walk away. No hard feelings ever. Because the love I extend to you is not dependent on what you give to me. It is still there, given freely, regardless of whether you receive it.
~that Libra who "abandoned" you, but not really

Grly, you should know I barely read what you wrote. Don't waste any more of your time or energy on me. It will literally make no difference to me. I think nothing bad about you. I have always read your stuff and thought of you as a cute puppy rambling around and growing and learning at LL. Thought you were cute and cool from a distance. Not willing to have deep mental exchanges with you. You want to read my stuff, excellent. You want to comment your opinion on the thread topic in general, most excellent. I'll probably read it. You want to call me out by name and force my engagement instead of patiently allowing whatever natural flow may or may not join our minds, be assured you will encounter the barbed wire barrier that surrounds me and protects me from such unwelcome intrusions.

posted August 13, 2017 01:45 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Mystic Melody:

Grly, you should know I barely read what you wrote. Don't waste any more of your time or energy on me. It will literally make no difference to me. I think nothing bad about you. I have always read your stuff and thought of you as a cute puppy rambling around and growing and learning at LL. Thought you were cute and cool from a distance. Not willing to have deep mental exchanges with you. You want to read my stuff, excellent. You want to comment your opinion on the thread topic in general, most excellent. I'll probably read it. You want to call me out by name and force my engagement instead of patiently allowing whatever natural flow may or may not join our minds, be assured you will encounter the barbed wire barrier that surrounds me and protects me from such unwelcome intrusions.

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Mystic, I'm not sure we've ever engaged in any discussion before this. Nor do I actually remember you posting anything in other threads, but if you don't want to engage me, or happen to think I'm a cute puppy that's fine. After all I'm not your soulmate (unlike Teasel), and lets be honest that response was super long lol. But I am happy you did say I'm cute...that actually is quite nice lol. Hey, I'm a Sun/Asc person so I will take that compliment lol. Anywho jokes aside, all the best. Cheers!

quote:

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Originally posted by teasel:

I had a Libra ditch me when my life was getting worse. As a friend. Someone who inserted themselves in the middle of something. They left a drowning person. Also: nothing had been communicated until I asked, and then good-naturedly agreed to a break. I was relieved. Until I got blasted for expressing that relief. I guess I was supposed to feel bad about myself. It wasn't bad enough that I was already grieving, and dealing with a lot. I was also reduced from "friend" to "someone who shared good music, occasionally". That's where pulled rugs come in. Re-written history.

My Sadge mother was engaged to a Libra man who did nothing but lie to her, it seemed. He always had an excuse for losing money, for example. He was romantic, and I guess there were no complaints bedroom-wise. Until he raped her one night, after she'd had surgery, and wasn't up for "it". That's pretty damned "pushy". He brought drugs into the house, my younger sister found them, and asked mum what they were.

No element is better than the others, or more understanding. Same goes for the signs of the zodiac.

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posted August 13, 2017 02:28 AM            

I'm sorry this thread has become about this. It is in part my fault, and I apologize for this. But either way back to topic...I am actually quite glad you have an Aquarius Mars. I was worried you might not have a Mars that jelled with his chart. Ok, first things first...I really really think it is his feelings verses him wanting to be non committal. I do think he will have a hard time committing (in general), I also really really hope he has a fixed Rising. But overall you guys mesh quite well. I honestly believe that he gave you money because there is probably some sort of Saturn strongly figured into your synastry, and he feels "responsible" for you. Now if that is the case, this would be a strange feeling for him to have based upon his more non committal stuff (Mars in Gemini and Libra Sun/Venus). This would be especially true if he doesn't have Saturn figured strongly in his chart, or if he has Uranus strongly in his chart.

Secondly, I also want to say very matter of fact, I do NOT think he thinks you are unattractive, and I really do hope you realize that...and don't think that is the case with him (or even question yourself about this). His Mars and Venus are in Air, you have not only an Air Rising. Which means as far as sexual attraction you tick his boxes. In terms of what he looks for in a woman his Venus is in Libra, and Moon is in Pisces (Water and Air), and I would also include his Mars (some wouldn't). Which again you tick off. In fact I think he has some feelings for you more than you even realize.

I want to go back to the possibility of Saturn in your synastry. Because I have a feeling that it is figured heavily. To me that would perhaps be the block of expression you see. That it isn't disinterest, but is caution. The reason I think it might be Saturn is the example you gave about when you were about to do "activity" and you turned and went to bed (I believe I'm explaining this correctly). That sounds like a Saturn Venus or Mars expression. He perceived your actions as rejection, and that made him shut down and not try again. That could also be attributed to him having a Cancer Rising (Cancer placements are known for that). I haven't asked this but can I actually have your date of birth/place of birth...and do you happen to know his? Because overall you guys mesh, but something is keeping this from progressing...and to be honest I would like to see the synastry.

In the meantime I do really think you must communicate with him (via social media, texts etc). Posting pics on Instagram or Snapchat (whichever he has...and I'm pretty sure as a Virgo Mercury and Gemini Mars he has social media) of yourself would def be an asset as he's a Libra Venus who he loves beauty...and chances are with an Aqua Rising you turn heads (JLaw is one). If Saturn is figured strongly, feeling special is quite important. The other might seem that they don't care about the expression, but Saturn does need love and cuddles. And you are a Leo Moon, and I know from personal experience they are VERY good at making someone feel desired and admired. But no matter what, I want to emphasize to communicate with him.

posted August 14, 2017 01:15 PM            

Sun sextile saturn between us.

posted August 14, 2017 02:17 PM            

sun sextile saturn
Mars opposite saturn

posted August 17, 2017 02:16 AM            

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Originally posted by harmonicvibes:
We have mars opposite saturn 😕😕 I read on grupovenus.com I read that ...is...interesting.

Sun sextile saturn between us.

So that we have I have my time of birth but not his. But I know some of our placements though the ones I can get without his time of birth.

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quote:

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Originally posted by harmonicvibes:
We have

sun sextile saturn
Mars opposite saturn

I have my time if ***** but not his I'll try to put up my chart later

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There you go! I knew Saturn was somewhere up there. Sun Saturn isn't all that bad, it does offer stability and responsibility. Which is why he is giving you financial help. That is how Saturn shows they care...through practical help.

Ok, the bad thing is this Mars Saturn Opp. Some people think Mars Saturn is hard, I actually have Mars Saturn Trine in my natal and think it makes me incredibly strong (my Saturn rules both my 7th and 8th house in Saturn in Scorpio). Having said that, Saturn would put a damper on the sexual energies. Some say the Opp and Squ would make it so that it is REALLY hard to get "thing" going between you. But I actually think the thing is Saturn wants "activity" when the time is right. Meaning it's serious. I remember you met and said you wanted something with him seriously...that is Saturn. Saturn doesn't do uncommitted or no strings attached. Which is why you are not getting ANYWHERE with him. When you have Saturn (esp Mars Saturn) a sexual relationship comes ONLY after commitment that is exclusive and set in stone (as in you both discuss being exclusive). With this in mind I would suggest you approach him actually wanting a relationship, show him you mean business...clearly you care for him. Communicate with him (because of his Mercury influences), and when you see him next talk about something serious between the two of you...and I think you will see a much different person. Esp sexually. Good luck and please keep us updated!!!

quote:

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Originally posted by Mystic Melody:
Thanks, Grly. Very mature and joyfully enlightened of you. I was going to say, "Very cool of you" but my daughter likes to remind me that it isn't cool to say cool anymore.
Peace.

It's still groovy to say that, right? *ha

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posted August 17, 2017 03:01 AM            

No quote