posted March 04, 2020 04:50 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
I forgot about this post. Do you want to be in a relationship or are you indifferent?

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posted March 05, 2020 09:38 AM            

It not only puts an exorbitant amount of pressure on you to "perform".But it also makes the experience of doing it totally unenjoyable(not to mention awkward).

You have to find a way to ease the charge around the subject matter somehow. I recall having a similar conversation with my sister-she is 33 this year.

I said to her that if she keeps putting pressure on herself right on the 11th hour,the results are not going to be to her liking.

She may choose Mr.Right Now instead of Mr Right. And be dealing with him for all her life. Well,that's unless that is something she wants?

For me that's like trying to write your life story in an hour whilst the clock is ticking. Should you complete it in time, expect there to be punctuation errors, grammar mistakes etc.

Now unless you are more of an "adhoc" person naturally,this won't be an issue. But if not, making a life decision whilst under pressure is not going to do you any favours long-term. There will be regrets.There are bound to be.

So here the issue is not so much in finding someone,as much as it is trying to get a baby.Have you considered getting a sperm donor/doption?

I don't see it probable that with the clock "ticking" & you being so aware,you will relax long enough for the relations you get into, to naturally develeop.

The thing is that you will undoubtedly put the guy you like under a microscope to see if he is worthy "baby daddy" material. Not sexy.

Atleast if you get a sperm donor or visit a sperm bank, you have control of the process. There is no facade here and you know what you are choosing.

You can relax into it without expecting the guy to be "on board" because he may change his mind or try to "escape" etc. This is also the case with adoption.

#as I am re-rewding all this,I realize that my POV is that of a man.So I may not fully appreciate or understand what it is that you feel.And this may be gross oversimplification of a complex issue. I can certainly appreciate its sensitivity.

posted March 05, 2020 04:59 PM            

I wouldn't say I'm one of those women that longs to have a baby--I gush more over puppies than I do babies.

All I'm saying is that IF God has it in the plans for me, I do need to meet my person soon. That's just plain science. If I don't, I'll take it as a sign I was not meant to have children.

And while that makes me sad in that I'd love to have at least one child, and having that experience--I know I'd need to move on to figuring out what the rest of my life looks like without a child. I'm not per se someone who wants children so badly that I'd adopt or have one on my own.

You are right though I would evaluate the men I'd date as to Daddy Value, of course--but that would be in any relationship I have had--did it in the past as well.