posted January 09, 2020 01:16 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by teasel:
I've had too many endings. Too much loss.

I suppose there's one thing: the guy I occasionally talk about - we talked a bit just before New Year's, and wished each other a Happy new year. We've only spoken once since then, but he had to go back to work this week. I had asked him if he was going to disappear again. He hasn't, but he still could.

I'm just feeling a bit wary in general. I'll probably edit this bit out: January 9th, two years ago, was the day I ended up in the hospital, briefly. I'm in a better state of mind than I was then. I can't believe it's been two years already.

---

i get you, when you're used to things being hard you get wary but you know sometimes what ends could be those hard times or that pain

it doesn't have to be things you care about ending

if he does disappear then maybe you'll feel free to move forward this time

as for the other stuff congratulations on being in a better place than you were then, sounds like something worth celebrating

i've got a rough times anniversary next month myself, but in my case it's drugs (of course) 3 years clean from heroin feb 13th

posted January 09, 2020 01:19 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Somna7H:
2020 not over yet.
But my mom and brother want me leave home and live separately by my own.
I was never without family in my life yet.

---

i think maybe this could be good for you tbh, change like that can force you to grow in ways you dont necessarily know you need because right now you can't imagine them

you've lived for a long time with your family and it'd probably do you good to step outside of that and see what else there is to life

sometimes circumstances we're used to are easy to stay in but do us very little good and growth away from your family can be reslly important

posted January 09, 2020 01:23 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Somna7H:
Actually I'm feeling miserable.
My family don't want me anymore.
I'm a useless person now.

---

you aren't useless, feeling that way and being it are 2 different things

you know the other way to look at this is like you're getting to go on an adventure and just needed a push to do it

there's a lot that being around family can hold people back from, and you getting to explore yourself might do you a lot of good

the circumstances might not be ideal but that doesnt mean that what's going on will be bad ultimately

posted January 09, 2020 01:24 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Dumuzi:
i get you, when you're used to things being hard you get wary but you know sometimes what ends could be those hard times or that pain

it doesn't have to be things you care about ending

if he does disappear then maybe you'll feel free to move forward this time

as for the other stuff congratulations on being in a better place than you were then, sounds like something worth celebrating

i've got a rough times anniversary next month myself, but in my case it's drugs (of course) 3 years clean from heroin feb 13th

sometimes those are good for reflection

---

I would move forward anyway. We have a pattern, and haven't made any promises to each other. I made sure of that. Talking to him has been more normal this time - last Summer, it was more awkward. That could always change, but anything can. I like talking to him.

posted January 09, 2020 01:22 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by teasel:
I would move forward anyway. We have a pattern, and haven't made any promises to each other. I made sure of that. Talking to him has been more normal this time - last Summer, it was more awkward. That could always change, but anything can. I like talking to him.

Wow, congratulations on the almost three-year anniversary. On getting clean. I keep meaning to message you, but I've been trying to get my sleep schedule corrected (again), and I was busy cooking the other night, and getting things in the freezer.

---

it's cool no worries, life happens and you got **** going on we'll get in touch whenever

i've been distracted by a lot myself too

hopefully everything works out well for you, if you ever need it im around

try not to get worked up over what could happen though, not worth it worst case scenario you deal with those feelings when **** happens if it even does

posted January 09, 2020 05:24 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by ScandinavianCrab:
There was a lunar eclipse at the same position at january 9th 2001.

---

Thanks, ScandinavianCrab!
There's even NM in Aqua in same degree as what follows this Cancer Eclipse.

- http://www.timeanddate.com/eclipse/map/2001-january-9
- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/January_2001_lunar_eclipse

Tuesday, January 9, 2001 TOTAL FM NN eclipse 19.39 Cancer

Wednesday, January 24, 2001 NM Aquarius 4.37
___________________________________________

Jan eclipse 2001 was in my 8th house.
A divorce settlement had finally been made and released. Time to 'begin again' from the ground up.
I decided to use those monies to relocate, and 'settle' in the region here, after I visited--- attending a conference in order to explore the 'vibes'.

Airplane traveled the over 1,000 miles south to present location, in a move accomplished on Fri. morning April 6.

Moved here to GROUND myself-- to 'start over again' and rebuild my life from foundation-UP, and to be part of a spiritual community of friends.
I was ready to ADD my Heart Hands and Life with them, re-establishing my life.

Bottom line was that it turned out to be 'the WRONG choice'. And I suffered catastrophic losses "BECAUSE" of the wrong-choice made.
{I think I still blame myself for that.. hard to trust what to do.}

Most disappointing of all is that I never found a compatible friend-group for self, nor good people-connections in this locale -- which was super highly truly unusual for that to have happened to me-- just bizarre!.

__________________________________

DATA for this Eclipse 2020
- http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum24/HTML/241492-3.html
^ more goodies in post I did for that thread

posted January 09, 2020 06:46 PM            

Whatever you're feeling now, know you are useful to us because of just being part of our family here. Tell yourself some positive things. Self acceptance is more important than our personal history or even astrology.

posted January 09, 2020 07:07 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Kannon McAfee:
Somna7H,
Whatever you're feeling now, know you are useful to us because of just being part of our family here. Tell yourself some positive things.

Self acceptance is more important than our personal history or even astrology.

---

posted January 10, 2020 10:50 AM            

Certainly God sees, and if others didn't recognize your contribution or appreciate what you did for them (or pay you well-enough for it, at all), there have been Good Karma Points accrued for your service.. to the Divine.

When you Give to those who can't give-back, you 'lend' to God-- and God gives back.

story...
In my past I've given generous donations to ministries. I don't choose the 'free' thing they offer to send you as a reward for your donation. I have plainly-donated.

The people who DO opt to 'receive' the books, cd's, tapes, holy cloths, oils, etc, {LOL}, are given a receipt. The receipts for 'donations' will always reflect less-money than the actual amount donated.

The "market value" of the "free" gift sent is subtracted from the donation amount given. The Tax-Deduction to claim in order to pay less taxes to {this/my} government will be LESS than the amount paid-out.

In a similar way....
You gave public-sector service {at less pay than you deserved}. I believe that GOD will arrange for you to be rewarded for that. God's Eye is on those.
.. The amount that you weren't adequately-enough PAID, IS on the heavenly 'donation-amount' that you GAVE towards the benefit of Children's lives.

Humans.. are important.
Human suffering is a human-caused TRAGEDY because of greed, hoarding and selfishness in the current world.

The human you helped could go forward to be an important gift in the lives of others.

Energetically, through Grace, there are blessings that become DUE you, in 'THIS' lifetime for your part. {scriptures}.

Sorry that your mother and family rejected you!!! In times like these right now, that is incredibly ruthless and COLD. She doesn't care that you could die?

No. There is an avalanche of Blessings that you are DUE because of the karmic-good that was registered each time you Served. The Heart attitude we serve with is just as important of a 'contribution' to an other.

God Bless you, dear sir.
May you reap Rewards for your Service,
and may these come without stress and harm.

Miracles, Connections, can happen in your circumstance. Gemini is a connector.

May you attract Good for the Good you Performed for the sake of the children.

I know the world is a MESS right now..
If there was something I could do for you, I would.

posted January 11, 2020 12:09 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by mirage29:
Somna.. Mercury also has to do with children. You have worked FOR the benefit of orphans and abandoned children in your country, through your job.

---