posted September 11, 2024 04:23 PM            

For the past few years, I have been experiencing discomfort with my employment experiences. I seriously thought it was a temporary thing, but it's turned out to be quite lengthy. I've switched jobs about 3 times in the past 3 years and  in that time period in which I do not feel very proud about. Pre covid, the unrest, and lockdown, I had a VERY stable job in which I really liked, but I got furloughed then eventually laid off due to staffing cuts. I thought I would bounce back rather quickly, but things never went back to normal, and as I could imagine for a lot of people here on earth.

Every since I have rejoined the workforce back in 2021, it's been one tribulation after another, need it be due to staffing, terrible work culture, even getting trained, it's been one horrible experience after another, needless to say, I am very tired and exhausted from it all.

Flash forward today, I'm finding myself questioning if I want to stay at my current position because I feel my work style is clashing with the culture. Maybe this has to do with my middle age and becoming set in my ways, but professionally, I am at the point where I prefer to solely work independently. In the past few years also I have lost interest with making connections vs. getting ahead. I am now working at a job where I am struggling to connect to the tasks, my manager, and the staff because of the fraternal culture. I have gone against the usual and have tried to be more outgoing and engaging, but I leave work feeling empty everyday. I have had a few meetings with my manager about how I am doing on the job, and the solution she has suggested is for me to be more engaging with my co-horts in which I feel she is forcing on me. If they wanted to get to know me, it would've happened on Day 1, the whole environment feels very cliquey. 

I honestly don't know what to do, there is a part of me where I want to just resign and start all over again, but I don't want to do anything foolish and leave a job without anything lined up. Nor do I want to give up yet because the money is somewhat decent. I just feel like a rock in a hard place, stuck...not knowing what to do. I was just thinking today of how tired I am of going from     job to job, it's taking a toll on me and my well being. I put so much faith when I start a job, but I always end up feeling utterly disappointed and lost. I truly don't know what to do.