posted July 31, 2012 01:08 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Hera:
Mars is 28 Aries, but Sun is at 13*41. Why? I have 3 Aries planets and 4 Sag ones heehee. Love you Sags!

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Thanks Hera, I love you too and it sounds to me like you are in a good mindset about being responsible for the way you treat your self. It continues to be a long road for me, but it is so worth it.

I asked about Aries 15 degrees, because your Eris should be around that degree (so really any planet near 15 degrees of its sign would aspect her). Eris is in her detriment in almost every living person's chart (if she is the new ruler of Libra) and happens to also be conjunct your Sun.

I tried to find a good article to link, but the good articles I found were a bit wordy or incoherent. It seems writing about Eris always causes a great deal of circling the drain before actually making it in the hole.

In a nut shell Eris is a very complex energy, but some noticeable themes are "conflict out of a desire to keep things harmonious", "causing harm to the self or others through ignorance", "Feeling excluded or abandoned by people who have not physically left", "Feeling estranged or out of sync with your tribe, family, or group", "learning to improve one's self through comparison to others or from the way others treat you", "Accepting one's self as beautiful without the approval of others". Because it is a recently discovered planet, our understanding of Eris is fairly limited, but there is a lot of good information out there.

I brought up Eris because I have her Conjunct my ASC/SN, opposed my DSC/Pluto/NN, trine Mars and trine Sun/Neptune in a grand trine, Square MC/IC, and quincunx Moon sextile Uranus in a YOD. A lot of the similarities in our stories sound like Eris lessons to me.

posted July 31, 2012 04:11 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Delilah:
Yeah. I think it also helps to make us more of advocates for victims. As you get older you become less of the victim. Sure, you have your moments when you're down, but Saturn has a cold wraith that makes you less afraid of putting people who offend you in their place.

I'm glad that you've come a long way from your childhood. Not everyone overcomes an unpleasant start to life. I think having an earth sign on the Ascendant gives people a little more encouragement to go further than people think they will. It certainly makes us stubborn as hell, so giving in to others' supposed "predictions" is not an option even if we do seem idle for a while.

For the most part I'm over my childhood, but the Aries Moon forces me to express my anger. Like you, I don't always succeed in being diplomatic. There's not always enough time or patience to be. Lol. I used to be a hot head and am not sure if I will ever completely tame this side of me, but am trying to find outlets to channel my anger. Oh! Repressing it hurts! Just can't do it. I tried to a few times but felt like I was going to lose my $&%! and hurt someone.

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posted July 31, 2012 04:14 PM            

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Originally posted by Padre35:
Good, that is being assertive Hera as you've chosen to deal with it forthrightly and then you can put it into it's place in your life.

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posted July 31, 2012 04:46 PM            

Indeed I have Eris conj Sun, also Pholus and Lust. Odd that some astrologers believe Sun to be the father, eh? It gets better, take a look.

I was born with an exact opposition of Mars and Pluto, which of itself says (sexual) abuse might be a possibility. Add to that Saturn, which other astrologers say it's the father, and a bunch of nasty asteroids such as Nessus, Lilith and Lucifer (also CHILD.. surprise-surprise..) and you get the big picture of a horrid Grand Cross. Recently it hit me that I have an exact conjunction of Dejanira (the victim) and Mercury.. and that Mercury rules my 5th and 8th houses (both sex houses).

I then looked at the creep's chart (my father).

Where should I begin????
-Nessus square Sun (8H ruler) opp Pluto
-Lust conj Lilith in the 5H, house of children, square Mars-Jupiter conjunction, opposite his own Child asteroid in the 12th house..
-Cap Moon conj Chiron in the 12th house, square Saturn, opposite Uranus and Lucifer (perhaps proves his own abusive background and his marriage with my mother, since Moon rules his DC)
-Mercury square Neptune
-5H ruler Venus in Pisces conj Mars and opposite the victim asteroid, Dejanira (funny, mom has CHILD in Pisces, square Dejanira, no birth time for her though)

As for my synastry with him, what immediately stood out was an EXACT to the minute square between his Pluto 18*47 Leo and my Venus 18*47 Taurus, Venus ruling my IC... Some others but really this disgusts me too much to keep looking at it. I'll post it though, if anyone wants to take a look.

posted July 31, 2012 09:56 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Hera:
I don't want to be angry forever, Jan. I hope that I will eventually forgive them, not really for them, but for me. I don't want any hate or negativity in me.

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My empathy for what you went through.

And that is really the healthiest approach, once upon a time I'd repress being angry but it just channeled anger into actions in areas where I should not have gone.

So I hope you find a positive outlet for yours and come through the other side happier!

posted August 01, 2012 01:26 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Padre35:
My empathy for what you went through.

And that is really the healthiest approach, once upon a time I'd repress being angry but it just channeled anger into actions in areas where I should not have gone.

So I hope you find a positive outlet for yours and come through the other side happier!

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Thank you, Jan!

Ugh.. it is tough because I still sabotage myself. I wonder when it will stop. Consciously I am aware.. but I keep slipping back. The anger is too much to bear. Today went back into "this never happened" mode. My father couldn't be capable of such a thing. I am a bad girl for thinking ill of him. Though I am aware things are pretty much in the open now, after his indirect confirmation with that FB comment and the stuff he told me over the phone, I still very much want to avoid going there. I know the only way out is through the mud but I keep trying to find sideways. Today i wanted to drink my way into oblivion. I didn't but the pull was just so strong! It would be great if I could just get a grip on myself but I cannot help the way I react emotionally, right now my emotions are too intense for me to control and I am done with that anyway.

Ugh

posted August 01, 2012 01:46 PM            

I suffer from an explosive temper myself and rarely express it. I'm typically quiet and accomodating and bottle up my anger and frustration. Then, it all comes out at some juncture.

posted August 01, 2012 01:54 PM            

EDIT: Oh wait, Aqua Venus. My mistake.

posted August 01, 2012 02:56 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Hera:
Thank you, Jan!

Ugh.. it is tough because I still sabotage myself. I wonder when it will stop. Consciously I am aware.. but I keep slipping back. The anger is too much to bear. Today went back into "this never happened" mode. My father couldn't be capable of such a thing. I am a bad girl for thinking ill of him. Though I am aware things are pretty much in the open now, after his indirect confirmation with that FB comment and the stuff he told me over the phone, I still very much want to avoid going there. I know the only way out is through the mud but I keep trying to find sideways. Today i wanted to drink my way into oblivion. I didn't but the pull was just so strong! It would be great if I could just get a grip on myself but I cannot help the way I react emotionally, right now my emotions are too intense for me to control and I am done with that anyway.

Ugh

Tomorrow I am taking a trip to the sea. I don't know if it's a good or bad idea.. but water has always been good for me.

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With time, once you recognize the pattern, you will consistently make the more positive choice, that just come with the territory.

((hug)) out to you

posted August 01, 2012 03:52 PM            

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Originally posted by Hera:
Hug to you too, my friend!

How are things? I could use a happy story

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Set a couple of goals for the summer in between semesters:

-get my weight down to my HS weight
-learn the rudiments of Chinese, Romanian, Latin and Spanish
-get my financial in order
-learn more about astrology and metaphysics

Am close to accomplishing 3 and am working on the 4th one.

As for a funny story, do not have on atm, but do have a poignant story (to me at least)

-Guy, fmr Marine, was being groomed for a 6 figure job in a fairly large company, his "ally" (and lover) was the regional manager for the company. He had spent two yrs homeless and this appeared to be a major opportunity to turn the corner right?

Uhm, no, he has a huge self destructive streak and upon meeting a newly hired team member who had relocated to the area, he got massively drunk and turned into a grade A ******* and thrashed his boss/ally/lover by calling her incompetent and being younger then her telling her it was not going to work out between them. In the process greatly frightening his new co worker into wondering if she had made a mistake.

Sadly I could see it coming

He leaves and I have a conversation with a man who works in the addiction field and he was speaking about how he thought that one should never give away anything as the road to financial stability. He would have given his front teeth for the opportunity the other guy was ******* away.

Funny how one man can really not value something that others would value highly, and someone else can value it highly, but never have a chance to receive it.

posted August 01, 2012 04:07 PM            

Interesting story indeed. One man's trash is another man's treasure. Very true.

posted August 01, 2012 04:17 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Hera:
Limba romana este o limba grea, ai toata admiratia mea pentru intentie!

Interesting story indeed. One man's trash is another man's treasure. Very true.

I am trying to find a message board that I can connect with. Not very successful yet.. But came too far to give up now.

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Here is a funny story about why I'm learning Romanian:

A young lady in one of my classes, Irina, mentioned she spoke Romanian in her home being the daughter of immigrants from Romania (first generation) which I thought was cool so I thought I'd try to pick up some Romanian to chat with her (not for a romantic purpose, she was quite taken)

So I turned to youtube to learn the basic like La revedere and multumesc mult etc.

At the end of the youtube video the women who was giving the lesson said "oh say, this, your new friend will get the idea, after and awkward chat (my Romanian was not good at that point) I used what I thought was a slangy phrase like "be good" or "see you later" etc

"Te iubesc"

posted August 01, 2012 04:22 PM            

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Originally posted by Padre35:

"Te iubesc"

Could not understand why her eyes got really wide and she avoided me for the rest of the semester..

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posted August 01, 2012 04:54 PM            

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Originally posted by Yin:
ROTFL.

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posted August 01, 2012 05:44 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Hera:
Delilah, I am very fond of Aries Mooners, gurl do not tame or repress that Moon no matter what! It is beautiful, just beautiful! I really don't think repression is the answer, I know I also tried to repress all my Fire and it got me in a really bad place. Fire is life, if anyone has a problem with it, it's their problem! lol

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posted August 01, 2012 05:59 PM            

This thread gives me comfort. No b.s.-ing. I have similar experiences. My parents divorced when I was in 2nd/3rd grade. My father was an alcoholic. Prolly is to this day. I'm assuming, I haven't talked him for 13 yrs cuz I disowned him. My mother raised me as a single mother, my dad was in and out of my life for yrs. I know its hard being a single parent and she did the best she knew how, but I was not allowed to express anger growing up. Meanwhile she was working long hrs (yes I know she was tired) and I kid u not she was always mad at for something. I was a headstrong teenager so part of it I deserved bc I got mouthy lol but not all of it. Nothing was ever good enuf for her. I remember lots of guilt trips, constant criticism, and being grounded for expressing anger and frustration while it was ok for her. She never considered my point of view. SHE was right and I was wrong. One of my nephews who was young at the time even told her to stop once cuz she was just yelling and screaming at me. And I love her dearly to this day I really do, but for the longest time like almost my entire 20s she completely denied how she was. Or she would downplay it. As a woman of 32, I still do not know how to express anger in a healthy way. I have mars cancer and want to repress it. I feel ashamed when I'm angry. And having aries asc doesn't help. I'm a doormat (mars cancer). I'm learning to stand up for myself but my instinct is to back down and run.

My mother had just recently admitted she wasn't the perfect parent and has said sorry. I'm still resentful but not as much. She won't yell now but the sutble guilt trips r still present when she wants something her way. Being around my family is hard for me too. If I express anger about something, they r quick to shut me up. Give me reasons I shouldn't feel angry. They don't like my temper lol its not like physical its verbal. I view it as being assertive. I raise my voice just a bit when I hafta repeat myself bc they either don't listen the 1st time or must not remember me politely telling them I don't need told what to do anymore (not full blown yelling) and out comes sarcasm and swearing lol They don't like it so I've been keeping a distance and keeping my mouth shut. I don't wanna hurt my family bc they r actually very loving since we r all grown up. but I don't appreciate being a grown woman and being told what I should do and how to raise my kids now that I'm divorced. I wonder if they think I'm disfunctional lol even my viewpoints on various subjects r sometimes mistunderstood. Yet I still love them *sigh* now u c y this thread gives me comfort. I'm glad to know I'm not alone.

posted August 01, 2012 09:26 PM            

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Originally posted by Yin:
ROTFL.

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Two drink minimum, don't forget to tip your bartender and waitresses!

posted August 02, 2012 03:44 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Delilah:

Aww. Thanks. I have to do a little repressing here. If I let it all out Randall won't take too kindly to it and it will be my problem because I do love this site. Lol.

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posted August 02, 2012 03:57 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by ShyVirgo1979:
Hera, I felt horrible for u when I read the 1st post. I'm so sorry guess parents don't realize how much they can f their kids up. U shouldn't have had to c ur parents fight like that. And sticking ur child in the middle is wrong. If I could give u a big hug, I would.

This thread gives me comfort. No b.s.-ing. I have similar experiences. My parents divorced when I was in 2nd/3rd grade. My father was an alcoholic. Prolly is to this day. I'm assuming, I haven't talked him for 13 yrs cuz I disowned him. My mother raised me as a single mother, my dad was in and out of my life for yrs. I know its hard being a single parent and she did the best she knew how, but I was not allowed to express anger growing up. Meanwhile she was working long hrs (yes I know she was tired) and I kid u not she was always mad at for something. I was a headstrong teenager so part of it I deserved bc I got mouthy lol but not all of it. Nothing was ever good enuf for her. I remember lots of guilt trips, constant criticism, and being grounded for expressing anger and frustration while it was ok for her. She never considered my point of view. SHE was right and I was wrong. One of my nephews who was young at the time even told her to stop once cuz she was just yelling and screaming at me. And I love her dearly to this day I really do, but for the longest time like almost my entire 20s she completely denied how she was. Or she would downplay it. As a woman of 32, I still do not know how to express anger in a healthy way. I have mars cancer and want to repress it. I feel ashamed when I'm angry. And having aries asc doesn't help. I'm a doormat (mars cancer). I'm learning to stand up for myself but my instinct is to back down and run.

My mother had just recently admitted she wasn't the perfect parent and has said sorry. I'm still resentful but not as much. She won't yell now but the sutble guilt trips r still present when she wants something her way. Being around my family is hard for me too. If I express anger about something, they r quick to shut me up. Give me reasons I shouldn't feel angry. They don't like my temper lol its not like physical its verbal. I view it as being assertive. I raise my voice just a bit when I hafta repeat myself bc they either don't listen the 1st time or must not remember me politely telling them I don't need told what to do anymore (not full blown yelling) and out comes sarcasm and swearing lol They don't like it so I've been keeping a distance and keeping my mouth shut. I don't wanna hurt my family bc they r actually very loving since we r all grown up. but I don't appreciate being a grown woman and being told what I should do and how to raise my kids now that I'm divorced. I wonder if they think I'm disfunctional lol even my viewpoints on various subjects r sometimes mistunderstood. Yet I still love them *sigh* now u c y this thread gives me comfort. I'm glad to know I'm not alone.

Or maybe I was an alien baby or adopted and my mother failed to tell me

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Hi, Shy Virgo!