posted August 30, 2012 11:35 AM            

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Originally posted by Faith:

Pain is not a contest.

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Remember, love can conquer the influences of the planets....It can even eliminate karma.

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posted August 30, 2012 03:19 PM            

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
I nevertheless wear my battle scars and those who have not been through battle and understand what pain is ought not to lecture me on what constitutes pain because [b]you have zero idea and NO such moral imperative. Don't lecture me because you have no such authority and no such basis. You are maximally wrong.

I'm not here on a popularity contest and I will virgorously and aggressively defend my stance to the maximum extent I care to. I won't give two pennies to whatever your collective opinions are, or whether you like me or not. Those who do like me will like me regardless, and in them I care. The others I could give a crap.[/B]

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Your voice has as much reason to be here, in Sweet Peas, as does anyone's, Ian.
You have been through a living hell and I honor that

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted August 30, 2012 03:35 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
Ami,

You do understand that I will defend myself to the fullest extent possible as I see fit to, and for everyone else, I offer ketchup and other condiments with my shorts. Full respect accorded to you.

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There is a time to stand and a time to walk away. I am learning the same lesson.

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted August 31, 2012 12:03 AM            

@PixieJane:

Your posts in this thread are some of the most powerfully evocative ones I've read. I LOVE your ABSOLUTE clarity of thought in putting your point across. Reading your words was like having a front row seat to your mind. Simply amazing! You're a sterling example of how a clear thinking mind can never be duped or tricked.

posted August 31, 2012 03:02 AM            

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
Just for the moment I'm going pretend this is the truth

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On January 12, 2012 the OP said---
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum24/HTML/211657.html

quote:

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Originally posted by Yours Truly Always:
Let me explain "Rape" better.

[VERY GRAPHIC... DON'T READ IF YOU GET UPSET EASILY]

When I was a 10 year old boy, I was raped by a man. He achieved oral penetration and he finished himself inside my mouth and down my throat, and that was only because he could not achieve anal penetration not having thought through that I am a boy and he did not have lubricant. He had the knife pointed at my neck the whole time.

That was my first sexual experience and I was highly traumatized, and both my parents and the police *blamed ME* I had nobody to console me except God.

He forced himself on me at knifepoint with an eight inch military style diver's knife with a serrated edge. If you have seen the Rambo movies, you will understand what sort of knife I am talking about.

That is rape. Forced upon someone against their will.

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On Jan 12, 2012 the OP also said--

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But remember that I'm male. Don't mean to make excuses but it's less traumatic than young girls who are penetrated. Of course he could have chosen to penetrate anyway, and the outcome could have been homicide.

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And this--

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Instead, I was sent to a mental institution to be evaluated by psychiatrists and psychologists for schizophrenia and mental disease!! LOL

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In this thread he says--

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Let me put this in perspective. I was anally bludgeoned. I had a torn anal sphincter. I went home with blood dripping down the side of my legs ...

... But that is my point. I was 10 years old ...I was raped in my anus... A knife blade was placed at my throat ... I got home and my parents blamed me. Instead of sending me to a trauma hospital, I was sent to a mental institution for psychological evaluation.

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I don't mean to diminish the severity of the experience AT ALL ... if it happened ... but I can't help wondering which of these similar yet different accounts actually occurred?????

posted August 31, 2012 03:09 AM            

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Originally posted by Linda Jones:
I agree that this is a very, very strange thread in terms of the starter's intent. Why would anyone want to start a pain comparison topic is beyond me.

@PixieJane:

Your posts in this thread are some of the most powerfully evocative ones I've read. I LOVE your ABSOLUTE clarity of thought in putting your point across. Reading your words was like having a front row seat to your mind. Simply amazing! You're a sterling example of how a clear thinking mind can never be duped or tricked.

And THANK YOU for your complete empathy and FEARLESSNESS in standing up for victims of rape.

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posted August 31, 2012 04:48 AM            

As for fighting off that mob, that does sound too much like a movie. First, gang ambushes generally don't work that way, nor do cops show up bravely like that to chase off a crowd. Both gangs AND cops tend to be a lot more cowardly in real life than in the movies and most cops in violent areas are not only more apathetic but find it safer and more convenient to simply write up a report than intervene (at least not without backup, preferably in superior numbers to the criminals involved), and I know of at least one case where a cop refused to even help a guy who'd been stabbed even though there was no risk to him, the cop simply didn't care (the guy pulled through it, but no sympathy from me as he got stabbed trying to rape a 12-year-old girl, this being in the "combat zone" I mentioned before).

What also sounds like a movie is that Ian didn't take the time to brag about his wounds and if he fought off determined and armed attackers then he WOULD'VE been hurt really bad. Of course there's also the disconnect that he thinks this should make him "know what it's like" to be a woman (he missed the part of the different psychological conditioning women tend to get from men as well as the fact a woman is much more likely to be targeted by male violence in any case even if he is smaller & outnumbered and happened to get targeted once or twice, and if targeted then he's extremely unlikely to be raped as an adult male by other men outside of prison) but again he misses all the real life details of living in a dangerous area like that (of course he'd have to spend significant time there to even have a remote idea what it's like, not just "breaking down in the ghetto one night"). Another thing is that if you spend time there then unless you have a gang (being a cop counts) backing you up (and that won't necessarily protect you) then one guy who beats you and your friends up inspires other potential victims and rivals to also fight back (and even attack them first) as well so that the ones so badly beaten by one guy would seek revenge and to make it as public as possible as a message to others (and guns are easy to come by, too, and most won't hesitate to use them). Heck, when I lived in the combat zone (as a runaway) it wasn't unknown for someone to spread rumors about a guy beating up a real bad ass and once people BELIEVED it happened then the bad ass still had to make an example out of the guy to keep his rep. So Ian's story just sounds like some movie or TV show (where the bad guys conveniently disappear after making the hero look good) instead of real life.

But again, that's beside the point, the most important thing is IF the story happened then it should make him sympathetic to us and our concerns, and yet it doesn't, which is just one more reason it doesn't feel right. And I could say that about more of what he says, even in this thread alone.

And a bad ass streetfighter like Ian should instead (IF he insists on complaining, that is) say women should toughen up and learn to fight back instead of complaining that it hurts his feelings that women treat men with some (and completely justifiable) caution. And if he's this major big shot he talks about who's been all over the world and all that, AND he did it as a "rags to riches" way rather than inheriting it, then I'd think he'd have enough self-confidence to not be offended that women are cautious of men (especially strange men).

Even a great many men are concerned for women's safety and urge the women they love to be cautious. I'm sure many of us know fathers who are more wary of males around his daughter than either his wife or daughter. The vast majority of self-defense courses for women to fight off rapists are taught with the help of (and sometimes run by) sympathetic men who genuinely want to help and also urge us to be cautious (not paranoid) of men, especially strange men. And plenty of men have asked me (who uses firearms) advice in helping them to convince their wives and other females who are gun shy on how to learn to accept guns as a means of self-defense and that's typically because they fear men assaulting the women they love when she's alone and he's not around to protect her himself. So all in all, many men not only sympathize with cautious women, but plenty are even more committed to a woman's safety in a dangerous world than plenty of women (who, unlike men, are taught that they're not supposed to stand up for themselves).

So why would someone who's lived in the ghetto where violence against women is especially common (and was attempted against his fiance) and managed to fight off a mob, have the love of his family, respect of society (if he's the big shot he makes himself out to be), and having gone from rags to riches be so insecure that a woman who doesn't know him being cautious offend him? He should be too self-confident (and aware of how dangerous the world is) for that, and be like many other confident men who are also concerned for the women in their lives if not women in general.

ETA: Btw, one college guy told me that he got robbed by 2 men with knives as he was crossing the park to campus and he simply handed over the money and was ok, and thus didn't see why I was worried. Among other things I told him (like I didn't have parents to replace the money robbed from me, and I wouldn't have crossed the park alone in the first place just as most women wouldn't) I said, "If 2 guys ambushed me with knives, robbery isn't what I'm afraid of." The look on his face showed me that he just didn't think of rape as a risk and was shocked at the realization those same men very well could've (and I say likely would've) treated me far different than they treated him, and I think that's something else Ian is missing. Though boys are at great risk and thus should be protected and as cautious of men as any woman, men themselves are only rarely targeted for such violence, and as a result many don't think of that and so I guess it seems strange to them that we (who ARE targeted for that frequently, just check the FBI stats) do.

posted August 31, 2012 07:21 AM            

i realized that, as a man, i have no right in interjecting my opinions in women's issues, and i most certainly have no right in comparing my anatomy to theirs. doing so is just backwards thinking. all i can really do is be compassionate and treat women with respect and dignity.

it is just appalling that someone would actually direct a threat to women or blame them for being cautious of a man. that's like threatening to spank your child for being rude and declining a ride from a stranger.

posted August 31, 2012 12:19 PM            

@PixieJane

All excellent points, Pixie. You're obviously a detailed thinker and I can relate

quote:

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the most important thing is IF the story happened then it should make him sympathetic to us and our concerns, and yet it doesn't, which is just one more reason it doesn't feel right. And I could say that about more of what he says ...

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I agree completely!! I too feel that there's a huge IF to anything written under his particular username. Imo his credibility is zero because, like you, I too have noticed huge discrepancies in what he's written all over LL about his ENTIRE life story, including the rags-to-riches one. It's a shame because such an active imagination can be put to so much better and more constructive use.

As to the reason for this thread with its very likely made up scenario (the two rape stories just don't jibe, no matter which way you look at them) I feel it's not just manipulative to start a topic like this, but downright mean.

The manipulation is obviously a need for attention.

posted August 31, 2012 12:57 PM            

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted August 31, 2012 01:00 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Linda Jones:
@ Scorpy_oh

@PixieJane

All excellent points, Pixie. You're obviously a detailed thinker and I can relate

I agree completely!! I too feel that there's a huge IF to [b]anything written under his particular username. Imo his credibility is zero because, like you, I too have noticed huge discrepancies in what he's written all over LL about his ENTIRE life story, including the rags-to-riches one. It's a shame because such an active imagination can be put to so much better and more constructive use.

As to the reason for this thread with its very likely made up scenario (the two rape stories just don't jibe, no matter which way you look at them) I feel it's not just manipulative to start a topic like this, but downright mean.

The manipulation is obviously a need for attention.

The meanness is not just in the combative tone in the thread, but also in the fact that this time what is being used is a topic which is so very sensitive, feared, and painful to countless women who are real life rape victims, as well as to the men and women who love them. And that imo gets a triple [/B]

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted August 31, 2012 01:04 PM            

quote:

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I too feel that there's a huge IF to anything written under his particular username. Imo his credibility is zero because, like you, I too have noticed huge discrepancies in what he's written all over LL about his ENTIRE life story, including the rags-to-riches one. It's a shame because such an active imagination can be put to so much better and more constructive use.

As to the reason for this thread with its very likely made up scenario (the two rape stories just don't jibe, no matter which way you look at them) I feel it's not just manipulative to start a topic like this, but downright mean.

The manipulation is obviously a need for attention.

The meanness is not just in the combative tone in the thread, but also in the fact that this time what is being used is a topic which is so very sensitive, feared, and painful to countless women who are real life rape victims, as well as to the men and women who love them. And that imo gets a triple

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This kind of attack is not worthy of being on the pages of LL.

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted August 31, 2012 01:11 PM            

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Originally posted by mercuranian:
@Linda Jones
@ scorpi o
@ pixiejane
theres a reason ive stopped responding to said posters threads / statements.

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Stop the personal attacks. Have you ever heard of ignoring someone you don't like? No one likes everyone, on here. We are a spiritual site. Remember that, ladies. We discuss lots of spiritual things like love and kindness. Lets ACT it!

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted August 31, 2012 01:19 PM            

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Originally posted by mercuranian:
not an attack - just an observation.
and the respectful behavior should go both ways

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Ian is talking about THE most sensitive subject on the planet. No one should judge how he talks about it.
I was molested and so I know how it feels to open yourself up and how vulnerable you feel when you do.
Being attacked feels horrible.
Please, flip into your spirit, not your ego. We, all, struggle with these sides of ourselves

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted August 31, 2012 02:30 PM            

YTA, if you were raped you have my sympathy. However, saying that the rape of women and girls is lesser than what a man or boy goes through is truly despicable. I suppose that you assume that the girl/woman will experience vaginal penetration at some point, so rape isn't a big deal. This is the same as saying that the rape of a man/boy isn't a big deal either because he might come out of the closet at some point, so he was going to experience this anyway.