posted April 14, 2013 09:20 PM            

------------------
Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted April 15, 2013 05:55 AM            

"I don't know."

"Do you just sit and stare at a wall?"

"Yeah I guess I must, I just get home, then next thing I know I am going to bed."

He was living away from his girlfriend, just because of where their work placed both of them. However, they are now engaged, will be moving in together etc.

So I think it is a case of not having anything to look forward to when you get home, loneliness, as well as tiredness or mental exhaustion to the point you just shut down and don't do anything.

I know that I feel the same way as you, although ultimately it is because I don't want to go home, there is nothing for me there. A lot of things have lost enjoyment, and I guess that this feeling is a symptom of depression. I work two jobs, and when I get an evening free, my first thought is, 'Some time to myself, at last. There is nothing I really feel like doing.'

Maybe the words of a stranger, won't help that much. At least you have an idea of what could be causing you to feel this way, how you cope and get support is important. Just know that you are not alone, and maybe you haven't reached out in the past, and you don't want to now, because how can anyone understand what you are feeling? I would suggest just asking a friend if you can talk, doesn't have to be about how you are feeling. Just talk about anything, it will help you to know that there are people that care about you, and value you. I read something somewhere that said something like, "Generally, others will always see your value, and value you more highly, than you see yourself, or value yourself."

- Chris

posted April 15, 2013 06:38 AM            

I don't have friends actually. There is nobody in my life that I would call a "friend". Oddly there are a few online ones that I would. But the people in my real life.. just acquaintances I guess.

I got depressed at some point, especially when I was suicidal, thinking if smth were to happen to me in my house, they wouldn't find me until I started to rot. Nobody comes over, just the electricity guy, once in a while.

I can't keep a dog because I am sometimes on call at the hospital and don't have anybody to walk him or feed him. I had a cat for a few months but even she left. She jumped from the 2nd floor. Guess I was a depressing company to her too.

posted April 15, 2013 06:41 AM            

Loneliness can be tough and can lead to depression and anxiety.

Getting a pet may help or building up existing relationships with people you may have lost touch with. Even having a girls day out etc.

------------------

quote:

---

Remember, love can conquer the influences of the planets....It can even eliminate karma.

---

posted April 15, 2013 06:56 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by charmainec:
Maybe socializing more will help? You referred to yourself as a hermit in the other thread and I was wondering if you feel socially awkward?

Loneliness can be tough and can lead to depression and anxiety.

Getting a pet may help or building up existing relationships with people you may have lost touch with. Even having a girls day out etc.

---

I know I should socialize more.. It hurt me so much when a coworker said I have no social skills. I don't think I have *no* social skills at all, but it's true that they're terribly rusty. I have alienated a lot of people from my life. There were times when people would call to hang out, after a couple of no's, they stopped. Obviously.

I am a hermit.. The problem is to be social, I'd have to be rather shallow. And I guess most of the times I have no interest in being shallow. That's my Cap and Scorpio/Pluto influence talking, I guess. I have very few people I can relate to or talk to. Sometimes I think I went in therapy just to have someone to listen to me, even if I had to pay them. Now I go to psychics sometimes for a similar reason. I should stop, they're expensive.

posted April 15, 2013 07:11 AM            

All i can say is i understand and relate to things you are going through. I don't have an answer for you. Just sending some ....

Hang in there.

(i find these are often the best times to go deeper within, find a good book to read.

posted April 15, 2013 08:46 AM            

quote:

---

I don't have friends actually.

---

posted April 15, 2013 09:27 AM            

I am tolerant about some things, that are not very important to me, like race, social standing etc. But quite demanding about others, yeah.

Truth be told, I am only interested in a very specific group of people. Growth oriented, mostly. Self-aware, on an evolutionary path. Those are very hard to find in real life.

posted April 15, 2013 10:31 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Odette:
Hera - Do you think you have a low tolerance level?
I feel like people who have lots of friends, put up with several different personality traits good & bad..
Anyone might wish to have 'friends' - if they imagine these friends to be really nice, sweet, caring people who are always there for you etc... but no one is *like* that LoL
And even if they are like that sometimes - there will be many other times when they are cranky, or they are jerks, or they accidentally betray your trust etc etc...
The only way to keep friends is to put up with sh*t and take the good with the bad - That's what I've learnt anyway.. My NN is in the 11th house.

---

You have a lot of wisdom, Odette!

------------------
Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted April 15, 2013 12:56 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Hera:
I know I should socialize more.. It hurt me so much when a coworker said I have no social skills. I don't think I have *no* social skills at all, but it's true that they're terribly rusty. I have alienated a lot of people from my life. There were times when people would call to hang out, after a couple of no's, they stopped. Obviously.

I am a hermit.. The problem is to be social, I'd have to be rather shallow. And I guess most of the times I have no interest in being shallow. That's my Cap and Scorpio/Pluto influence talking, I guess. I have very few people I can relate to or talk to. Sometimes I think I went in therapy just to have someone to listen to me, even if I had to pay them. Now I go to psychics sometimes for a similar reason. I should stop, they're expensive.

I just never really fitted in, I think. Anywhere.. Yes, I do feel socially awkward. I am pretty much a freak. Ironically I work with people and am pretty good at that. I'm also good in leadership positions. Problems are with (close) friendships. I just don't know how to sustain them.

---

I totally agree with you... I too am feeling pretty lonely and i am often accused of not having social skills. Truth is, I can't be bother with small talk..

My north node is in leo in 11th house is not helping... I don't have many friends but the thing is i don't desire many friends save a few trusted, reliable and comfortable friends.

posted April 15, 2013 03:59 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by lilithpluto:

I already have so few friends and Sand just abandoned me, again!!! He said he not gona check his emails moving forward! Lol. Oh well... its the 3rd time this time!

---

posted April 15, 2013 08:29 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
I'll never abandon.

---

------------------
Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted April 16, 2013 09:44 AM            

------------------
Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted April 17, 2013 10:04 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
I'll never abandon.

---

posted April 17, 2013 06:46 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Hera:
Thanks.. I am not talking just about living alone or depression, though I suffer from both. But I actually don't have people in my life. I cut my family off almost a year ago in order to process my childhood abuses. I saw my mother about a week ago, for my bday, and it was so necessary, all I wanted was to go to her and just lay with my head in her lap like I used to when I was little..

I don't have friends actually. There is nobody in my life that I would call a "friend". Oddly there are a few online ones that I would. But the people in my real life.. just acquaintances I guess.

I got depressed at some point, especially when I was suicidal, thinking if smth were to happen to me in my house, they wouldn't find me until I started to rot. Nobody comes over, just the electricity guy, once in a while.

I can't keep a dog because I am sometimes on call at the hospital and don't have anybody to walk him or feed him. I had a cat for a few months but even she left. She jumped from the 2nd floor. Guess I was a depressing company to her too.

Swift,
Thank you.

---

^
sorry you have felt like this... i've reached out to you before, AND i reach out with caring once again: no one "deserves" abandonment or to feel as though no one would miss them...

Odette... wonderful analysis about nodes. Right now the transiting NN is on my SaturnSCORP-rx in the 11th opp my VenusTAUR. We are within the eclipse 'emotional'-range for approaching eclipse Scorpio on the 25th.

posted April 18, 2013 12:03 PM            

I took the subway today. I forgot how much I enjoy it. I was simply fascinated with the people sitting next or in front of me, going about their day, some being happy about something, others had a bad day, some are worried and biting their lip.. etc. I missed this sort of human contact. I usually drive to work. There's still distance in the sub but I missed being around people, I mean beside my job, because then it's a "job", I have my professional mask on. And I love subways and generally crowded places where you can just feel life pulsating in every high heal step. It made me feel quite alive and thrilled. Isolation is not good.