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Author
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Topic: RAPE-THE SILENT (GLOBAL) EPIDEMIC
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Taineberry
Knowflake Posts: 771
From:
Registered: Jun 2011
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posted November 22, 2013 01:04 AM
  
quote:
Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
Taineberry,If I'm not wrong, firearms with permits are allowed in South Africa. If there are any circumstances being armed, this is a situation which warrants it.
You are right, people are allowed firearms. However, my observation is that law-abiding people who choose to have them rarely get the opportunity to use them. In most attacks, the criminal's weapon is at your head before you can even think about reaching for your own one. Criminals actually love people who keep firearms because it is an easy way for them to aquire more guns; and also gives them something extra to kill their victim with. I know it sounds counter intuitive, but I think it would be better to outlaw all guns. The less we have circulating in our system the better. The problem is that the more deadly our "defenses" get, the more deadly the criminals become. they are always one step ahead, and violence escalates. IP: Logged |
Taineberry
Knowflake Posts: 771
From:
Registered: Jun 2011
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posted November 22, 2013 01:23 AM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
I can't wrap my mind around the fact that women are failing to report rape and complaining that nothing gets done about it. Its all very simple, if a woman gets raped she should notify the proper authorities immediately. How else is anything supposed to get done about it?
As for rape prevention, You can run all the anti-rape campaigns in the world and it will still happen. Why? because at the end of the day crazy people are going to be crazy,its that simple. Telling people that rape is bad will be about as effective as telling people that murder and assault are bad. We all know that those things have always happened and will continue to happen. You just can't predict when somebody is going to snap and do something crazy. So should we live our lives being paranoid? No.. People should live their lives but always be cautious and use common sense.
You need to wrap your head around what it is like to be in a woman's shoes. The truth is that the victim is often blamed. Other posts have alluded to this as well. After rape the person is dealing with a lot of trauma, as the invasion she has experienced is not just physical - it is emotional, mental and spiritual too. Along with this, the victim often experiences shame and does not want others to know that she has been "soiled" in this way, she feels that decent men will not want her after what happened (these are age-old society judgements), she does not want people talking about something that happened to her that was so private and visualising in their heads what happened. She does not want to be the object of pity. And most of all she does not want people saying she was "stupid" for being in that place at that time, that she did something wrong in order to trigger the incident and therefore was partly to blame. She does not want her private trauma debated in graphic detail in court, or her name splashed over the newspapers. She does not want to sit in a police station and get questioned and examined by strangers, to establish if she is lying. Sometimes she is protecting the perpetrator for complex reasons - for example : to protect the honour of her family name, to keep peace in the family. Soemtimes they are scared people won't believe them, and sometimes the police scare them. That is why many women do not report rape. It is a big thing to do so, and often the story is twisted against them. IP: Logged |
PixieJane
Moderator Posts: 4378
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted November 22, 2013 02:09 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Taineberry:
Criminals actually love people who keep firearms because it is an easy way for them to aquire more guns; and also gives them something extra to kill their victim with
I speak from experience with running with criminals...they HATE when their potential victims have guns. And no, they don't "escalate" violence, they typically run away soiling themselves and try to find someone easier to attack. You're confusing the movies with real life but movies are meant to entertain, and ruthless criminals escalating the violence with shootouts is entertaining but usually doesn't happen in real life. And banning guns won't stop violence, it just means that men can attack you with greater impunity (as he feels even safer knowing you've been disarmed for his protection) assuming he's bigger, stronger, and more aggressive than you as he probably will be, and meanwhile the gun runners will actually get deadlier guns & ammo as the price rises and police & military start "losing" what they have (that is selling on the black market). Granted, it's true that many times a gun won't defend you from rape simply because it can be someone you know or you could be drunk (possibly with a date rape drug used on you) and even if you had the opportunity it can be hard to shoot someone you got to know somewhat already, especially if they just seem rather immature from alcohol rather than truly predatory. That's why guns are just one option to choose from (you can see other options at "tools & techniques" here). OTOH, I know people who have saved themselves, one woman even stopped a gang of rednecks who assaulted her and her friend (mistaking them for lesbians) and obviously gearing up to gang rape them when she pulled her gun and they didn't go grab their own guns (if they had the law would've crucified them, while the law sometimes gives a pass for rape it won't give the same tolerance to a group of men gunning down women trying to leave as they were and other rednecks may have intervened on the women's behalf as well once shots were fired). She still has her gun, btw, as do others I know (including an elderly lady with arthritis) who used guns to defend themselves from male aggressors. I hope you wouldn't do something so horrible as take their guns away from them and let them be raped. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 9297
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted November 22, 2013 02:48 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Taineberry:
You need to wrap your head around what it is like to be in a woman's shoes. The truth is that the victim is often blamed. Other posts have alluded to this as well. After rape the person is dealing with a lot of trauma, as the invasion she has experienced is not just physical - it is emotional, mental and spiritual too. Along with this, the victim often experiences shame and does not want others to know that she has been "soiled" in this way, she feels that decent men will not want her after what happened (these are age-old society judgements), she does not want people talking about something that happened to her that was so private and visualising in their heads what happened. She does not want to be the object of pity. And most of all she does not want people saying she was "stupid" for being in that place at that time, that she did something wrong in order to trigger the incident and therefore was partly to blame. She does not want her private trauma debated in graphic detail in court, or her name splashed over the newspapers. She does not want to sit in a police station and get questioned and examined by strangers, to establish if she is lying. Sometimes she is protecting the perpetrator for complex reasons - for example : to protect the honour of her family name, to keep peace in the family. Soemtimes they are scared people won't believe them, and sometimes the police scare them.That is why many women do not report rape. It is a big thing to do so, and often the story is twisted against them.
Well guess what ? That's not an attack on women or an indication of a misogynistic rape culture as ya'll like to call it. That's just the way our justice system and the media circus that usually surrounds it works. Its not exclusive to women , so im not sure why some people want to see it that way. Lets face it, allegations of rape or any serious crime carry major life changing implications so all the facts need to be straight before a judgement is made on the matter. Yes, a woman who accuses a man of rape is going to be questioned and grilled and is going to have her character assassinated by the accused, their family, and the defense attorney. That's just the nature of the beast. Is all that intimidating? Yes! Does it suck, especially for someone who has been through a trauma such as rape? Heck yeah. But should it stop a woman who has been raped from reporting and bringing the rapist to justice? Absolutely not. Any woman who has really been raped should be confident that she can bring the rapist to justice even though the process may be messy and uncomfortable.
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aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 9297
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted November 22, 2013 03:15 AM
This is a brilliant blog on the subject. http://whoism3.wordpress.com/2013/08/09/more-random-musings-on-rape-culture-nonsense/ IP: Logged |
DeepFreeze
Knowflake Posts: 1519
From: Pluto with Barbiegirl19
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted November 22, 2013 03:16 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Taineberry:
You need to wrap your head around what it is like to be in a woman's shoes. The truth is that the victim is often blamed. Other posts have alluded to this as well. After rape the person is dealing with a lot of trauma, as the invasion she has experienced is not just physical - it is emotional, mental and spiritual too. Along with this, the victim often experiences shame and does not want others to know that she has been "soiled" in this way, she feels that decent men will not want her after what happened (these are age-old society judgements), she does not want people talking about something that happened to her that was so private and visualising in their heads what happened. She does not want to be the object of pity. And most of all she does not want people saying she was "stupid" for being in that place at that time, that she did something wrong in order to trigger the incident and therefore was partly to blame. She does not want her private trauma debated in graphic detail in court, or her name splashed over the newspapers. She does not want to sit in a police station and get questioned and examined by strangers, to establish if she is lying. Sometimes she is protecting the perpetrator for complex reasons - for example : to protect the honour of her family name, to keep peace in the family. Soemtimes they are scared people won't believe them, and sometimes the police scare them.That is why many women do not report rape. It is a big thing to do so, and often the story is twisted against them.
I've not read everything in this thread. It gets exhausting.
I read this though and spot on! It's extremely easy for us to sit here and say, "Why are they not reporting them?" This explains it all.
I have no doubt in my mind that a woman who is a victim of rape would love nothing else but to have justice brought to the person. Maybe even overkill, castration in some cases. (The desires of their mind). Certainly the emotions are just going crazy. Yet, the humiliation so great that they don't report it.
Well, I don't want to get too involved in this, even though it's a big topic for me. I just think, woman or man, if you haven't experienced it, there's no room for your opinions on what you would do or downsize the courage it takes for them to report.
It's a world beyond our comprehension that only the victims themselves could try to explain. I don't even like to go to the doctor to get my junk looked at! (prostate inflammation a couple years back) It took a LOOOOOONG time for me to make that choice to go. LOL IP: Logged |
DeepFreeze
Knowflake Posts: 1519
From: Pluto with Barbiegirl19
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted November 22, 2013 03:28 AM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
This is a brilliant blog on the subject. [URL=http://whoism3.wordpress.com/2013/08/09/more-random-musings-on-rape-culture-nonsense/]http://whoism3.wordpress.com/2013/08/09/more-random-musings-on-rape-culture-nonsense/[/UR L]
The problem with this is that it paints a black and white picture of the sexes. It's simply not that way.
Is it correct? Could a man make similar complaints? Sure.
In most cases, he also has the physical power to overpower the "aggressor", unlike many women in these situations. As much as we want and get equality of rights, the sexes will never be equal in the most basic sense, in the physical, biological sense. The simple fact is, men in general are capable and more likely to be a true aggressor. It's just the way it works. I'm fumbling for words to explain what I really mean.
That blog to me seems like it's just shifting responsibility, like, "stop whining". I'm surprised it doesn't say, "Well don't get raped then." IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 9297
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted November 22, 2013 03:31 AM
quote:
Originally posted by DeepFreeze:
The problem with this is that it paints a black and white picture of the sexes. It's simply not that way.
Is it correct? Could a man make similar complaints? Sure.
In most cases, he also has the physical power to overpower the "aggressor", unlike many women in these situations. As much as we want and get equality of rights, the sexes will never be equal in the most basic sense, in the physical, biological sense. The simple fact is, men in general are capable and more likely to be a true aggressor. It's just the way it works. I'm fumbling for words to explain what I really mean.
That blog to me seems like it's just shifting responsibility, like, "stop whining". I'm surprised it doesn't say, "Well don't get raped then."
Did you even read the whole thing? I mean really read it? Yeah, didn't think so. IP: Logged |
FireMoon
Knowflake Posts: 1696
From: Minnesota
Registered: Mar 2012
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posted November 22, 2013 04:38 AM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
This is a brilliant blog on the subject. [URL=http://whoism3.wordpress.com/2013/08/09/more-random-musings-on-rape-culture-nonsense/]http://whoism3.wordpress.com/2013/08/09/more-random-musings-on-rape-culture-nonsense/[/UR L]
Wow this is amazing. Totally brilliant. If you want to compare rape to other types of criminal trials and say it has nothing to do with society… ok cool but just curious would a straight man bringing another straight man to trial over (non-sexual) assault ever be accused of just having “a simple misunderstanding”, or being “too timid to assert his own agency”? Are there blogs written about it?? No, I didn’t think so. I don’t talk about this (especially irl) but I legitimately trusted someone who this happened with… Yes, we were BOTH drunk, yes we were arguing… Was I dressed like a wh*** at 2 in the morning in some shady neighborhood? No. He threw something at me causing my mouth to start bleeding, while I was trying to get my bearings he pushed my head into the wall (making a hole and pushing me to the ground), he punched me in the side of the head several times, he started choking me and as I was trying to fight back said repeatedly “do you think this is a strength contest?”. He took my clothes off and yes it was “real” rape. He’s 6’2, I’m 5’4. You want to know why women “complain” but don’t do anything about it? It’s exactly these types of opinions/posting that prevent people from talking about this kind of thing let alone reporting it… Also keep in mind there's a limited amount of time to report rape before physical evidence is irrelevant. And if the victim already knows this person...it could actually make things more dangerous in some situations Anyway I wish you the best aquaguy…. I’ve been through some sh**** experiences but I still don’t hate all men for it… I can only hope you reach a better place with yourself and your opinions of women
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aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 9297
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted November 22, 2013 04:53 AM
quote:
Originally posted by FireMoon:
Wow this is amazing. Totally brilliant. If you want to compare rape to other types of criminal trials and say it has nothing to do with society… ok cool but just curious would a straight man bringing another straight man to trial over (non-sexual) assault ever be accused of just having “a simple misunderstanding”, or being “too timid to assert his own agency”? Are there blogs written about it?? No, I didn’t think so. I don’t talk about this (especially irl) but I legitimately trusted someone who this happened with… Yes, we were BOTH drunk, yes we were arguing… Was I dressed like a wh*** at 2 in the morning in some shady neighborhood? No. He threw something at me causing my mouth to start bleeding, while I was trying to get my bearings he pushed my head into the wall (making a hole and pushing me to the ground), he punched me in the side of the head several times, he started choking me and as I was trying to fight back said repeatedly “do you think this is a strength contest?”. He took my clothes off and yes it was “real” rape. He’s 6’2, I’m 5’4. You want to know why women “complain” but don’t do anything about it? It’s exactly these types of opinions/posting that prevent people from talking about this kind of thing let alone reporting it… Anyway I wish you the best aquaguy…. I’ve been through some sh**** experiences but I still don’t hate all men for it… I can only hope you reach a better place with yourself and your opinions of women
That is terrible and im sorry to hear that and that is not what the blog is talking about. The blog still makes alot of good points all the same. Who says I hate l women? IP: Logged |
FireMoon
Knowflake Posts: 1696
From: Minnesota
Registered: Mar 2012
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posted November 22, 2013 05:02 AM
Well.. the opening paragraph compares consenting to sex while in a relationship but not "in the mood" to what women "get way with" as considering rape. And it's pretty obvious in numerous ways IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 9297
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted November 22, 2013 05:05 AM
quote:
Originally posted by FireMoon:
Well.. the opening paragraph compares consenting to sex while in a relationship but not "in the mood" to what women "get way with" as considering rape. And it's pretty obvious in numerous ways
Well that sort of stuff does happen... IP: Logged |
FireMoon
Knowflake Posts: 1696
From: Minnesota
Registered: Mar 2012
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posted November 22, 2013 05:14 AM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Well that sort of stuff does happen...
What sort of stuff?? You feel physically threatened when a girl wants you to rub her ***** and you're too tired? Or girls are so irrational that they want to "punish" their boyfriends for no apparent reason? It's just ridiculous imo. No one regardless of gender would force their significant other to do anything sexual against their will, and if they do it's a problem. Simple as that. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 9297
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted November 22, 2013 05:26 AM
quote:
Originally posted by FireMoon:
What sort of stuff?? You feel physically threatened when a girl wants you to rub her ***** and you're too tired? Or girls are so irrational that they want to "punish" their boyfriends for no apparent reason? It's just ridiculous imo. No one regardless of gender would force their significant other to do anything sexual against their will, and if they do it's a problem. Simple as that.
I think you are missing the forest for the trees.. The point that is being driven home is there are blatant double standards when female sexuality is concerned. A woman can coerce or guilt trip a man into sex and she isn't seen as bad but if a man does the exact same thing he is a rapist or atleast very close to being a rapist. Yes, some women are coerced into sex and consider it rape, however this is not to say that violent forced rapes don't happen. Wanna hear a true story? I was drunk at a party once and a girl I wasn't attracted to sat in my lap without my permission and started giving me a lap dance. She asked me if I wanted to have sex and I said no but she wouldn't take no for an answer. She put her hand down my pants and started rubbing my junk trying to turn me on and kept asking me. Eventually she got ****** off and announced to everyone in the room that " Aquaguy is a f*g, he won't **** me" and everyone started laughing about it. Now just imagine if I had done the same thing to a girl, do you think people would be laughing? I would most likely get my ass kicked if I had pulled that stunt. But when it happens to a guy it's not a big deal. It's ok for a girl to put her hand down a guys pants and rub his area and call him gay for not having sex with her but it would be a huge deal if a guy did the same to a girl. And people want to say we live in a misogynistic rape culture?
IP: Logged |
FireMoon
Knowflake Posts: 1696
From: Minnesota
Registered: Mar 2012
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posted November 22, 2013 05:38 AM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by FireMoon:
[b] What sort of stuff?? You feel physically threatened when a girl wants you to rub her ***** and you're too tired? Or girls are so irrational that they want to "punish" their boyfriends for no apparent reason? It's just ridiculous imo. No one regardless of gender would force their significant other to do anything sexual against their will, and if they do it's a problem. Simple as that.
I think you are missing the forest for the trees.. The point that is being driven home is there are blatant double standards when female sexuality is concerned. A woman can coerce or guilt trip a man into sex and she isn't seen as bad but if a man does the exact same thing he is a rapist or atleast very close to being a rapist. Yes, some women are coerced into sex and consider it rape, however this is not to say that violent forced rapes don't happen. Wanna hear a true story? I was drunk at a party once and a girl I wasn't attracted to sat in my lap without my permission and started giving me a lap dance. She asked me if I wanted to have sex and I said no but she wouldn't take no for an answer. She put her hand down my pants and started rubbing my junk trying to turn me on and kept asking me. Eventually she got ****** off and announced to everyone in the room that " Aquaguy is a f*g, he won't **** me" and everyone started laughing about it. Now just imagine if I had done the same thing to a girl, do you think people would be laughing? I would most likely get my ass kicked if I had pulled that stunt. But when it happens to a guy it's not a big deal. It's ok for a girl to put her hand down a guys pants and rub his area and call him gay for not having sex with her but it would be a huge deal if a guy did the same to a girl. And people want to say we live in a misogynistic rape culture?[/B][/QUOTE]Well if the same thing happened in an alternate universe where some 7'4 woman did this to you and you couldn't simply walk away... I might have some sympathy IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 9297
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted November 22, 2013 05:42 AM
quote:
Originally posted by FireMoon:
Well if the same thing happened in an alternate universe where some 7'4 woman did this to you and you couldn't simply walk away... I might have some sympathy
see.... double standard at work. So because im bigger than a woman it's ok for her to touch my dong without my permission? That makes alot of sense. If you are saying that you are also saying its ok for me to inappropriately touch a taller woman. Is that what you are saying? Lmfao IP: Logged |
FireMoon
Knowflake Posts: 1696
From: Minnesota
Registered: Mar 2012
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posted November 22, 2013 05:45 AM
I have nothing else to say. Both men and women get propositioned all the time by people they may or may not be interested in.Violent rape is an entirely different topic than your pathetic girl stories IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 9297
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted November 22, 2013 05:50 AM
quote:
Originally posted by FireMoon:
I have nothing else to say. Both men and women get propositioned all the time by people they may or may not be interested in.Violent rape is an entirely different topic than your pathetic girl stories
Who said it wasn't? Im not comparing my experience or similar experiences to those. But the fact remains that if a guy did the same things to women he would be labeled a monster and the woman a victim. Would you call it pathetic if women shared similar stories about men on this thread? Oh wait! They already have! But nobody called them pathetic. Again, double standards.
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12muddy
Knowflake Posts: 1727
From:
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted November 22, 2013 07:58 AM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Who said it wasn't? Im not comparing my experience or similar experiences to those. But the fact remains that if a guy did the same things to women he would be labeled a monster and the woman a victim. Would you call it pathetic if women shared similar stories about men on this thread? Oh wait! They already have! But nobody called them pathetic. Again, double standards.
We have shared similar stories???
Women on this thread so far have shared stories of rape or near rape and harassments that could lead to rape. Your words have just slapped themselves in the faces. You are comparing. If you want to compare and measure, try reading about 1st, 2sc and 3rd degree sexual assault, and sexual molestation. The problem with privilege is that it is hard to see when you have it. In this case, you don't have that fear of getting raped when you walk home late at night, you don't understand what it's like to be **** -slammed, you don't know what it's like to be pinned down by a smelly beast that used to be your friend/family members, or that "nice" guy you have just turned down...
----
We're from other parts of the world too, not just in your area. We're talking about this issue in other parts of the world too. Try to keep that in mind. Women in my country for example, we are taught to listen to men (fathers, uncles, husbands, male bosses, etc...), to not anger them (include random men) - "men don't like women who talk back", to please them and turn them down sweetly, even if they're being a creep. In cases where they go too far - no it's our faults that we provoke them. Famous saying : "Flowers are here to be plucked, women are here for the delight of men" - meaning that it's normal for a flower to be cut, it's normal for a woman to be teased and be seen as a source of sexual pleasure.
----
Now, in the western world, the way it is soaked with sex have bad effects on both genders. But talking about rape, women are more at risk - coz we're generally smaller, weaker? Are the average males going to empathise with us? Can they put themselves in our shoes? Or are they going to push the problem onto us for not reporting due to shame and trauma? Are they going to blame us for dressing like a ***** ?" Glad to say that many supported us, but sad to say that many don't. Not to leave women out. I've seen many who **** -slammed and call other women all sorts of degrading terms, who shame rape victims. Rape culture/violence against women isn't just limited to when rape happens, it shows its nasty head whenever women are viewed in an undignified way. Too often, too many people view "manhood" as wrapped around sexual conquests. Rape and violence are only some of the most extreme manifestations. Think of the way the image of women are viewed, portrayed and used. Mainstream culture: think about rappers like Eminem who writes songs about his rape fantasies, abusing and murdering his ex-wife. I've seen and heard teenage boys and men joking about rape, hurling disgusting sexual comments at girls and women, telling them to go make a sandwich. And some women are fine with it or even join in. It has wormed its way into too many people's mindset. ---------- IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 6966
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted November 22, 2013 08:37 AM
Here is a personal touch from my side. It affects real lives in very real ways. Even though this isn't rape, it is with regards to aggressive inappropriate touching, which is considered sexual assault.After deliberation, I will share my wife's own story from two years ago. So, this is as real as it is. Here is sexual assault in our own home. We took it to the police detectives, and then to the state attorney's office. The bozo got a 10 year prison sentence, suspended after 3 years, with 25 year probation, plus national sexual predator registry. The gut wrenching part was that he was out on $175,000 bond while the proceedings were ongoing. He pleaded "no contest." The evidence was so overwhelming that I was quietly hoping that he would plead "not guilty," and that we'll take him to state superior court and skewer him. I wanted him to get at least 20+ years, having committed three felonies and two misdemeanours.
http://www.ctpost.com/local/article/Piano-tuner-sentenced-to-three-years-for-sex-2 399554.php He's out next Christmas. I don't like firearms at all even though I'm rather good with firearms, having been professionally trained. I've been strong deliberating having some very serious firepower at home. I know my wife wouldn't hesitate to use lethal firepower when necessary, and that is what makes me worried. Regarding myself, I never shoot to disarm. I'm not law enforcement. I'm military. We don't shoot to injure. I went through my own brutal event as a boy, but you've heard it so I won't recant. IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 6966
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted November 22, 2013 08:51 AM
Regarding the blog, this is the part of the article I have the largest problem with: quote:
Women need to be taught to assert their agency in all cases.
Token resistance has to be addressed collectively.. by WOMEN.
The victim doesn't actually intend to be the victim. The victim who is defenseless cannot be blamed for having being victimized. You carry a stick, I carry a machine gun and take your wallet, and so I blame you for putting up token resistance. That is where it is truly ridiculous. The rest are just the views of one male who doesn't speak for the gender. Like posteriors, many views stink and there aren't a shortage of such views. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 9297
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted November 22, 2013 10:20 AM
quote:
Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
Regarding the blog, this is the part of the article I have the largest problem with: The victim doesn't actually intend to be the victim. The victim who is defenseless cannot be blamed for having being victimized. You carry a stick, I carry a machine gun and take your wallet, and so I blame you for putting up token resistance. That is where it is truly ridiculous. The rest are just the views of one male who doesn't speak for the gender. Like posteriors, many views stink and there aren't a shortage of such views.
YTA,
Seriously? I figured you of all people would be logical and sensible about it. How is encouraging and empowering women to defend themselves victim blaming? Maybe I'm crazy, but it seems like a good idea to me.So women don't want to report the incidents to the police and encouraging them to always be prepared to defend themselves is victim blaming, so what else is there to be done? seeing as both of the logical solutions to the problem have been ruled out.
IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 9297
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted November 22, 2013 10:58 AM
12muddy,
I'm almost lost for words. I tried to level with ya'll and share my experience as a man, but ya'll wont hear it. I wasn't even beginning to say or imply that my experience was comparable to violent rape, so get that out of your mind right now. My intention was to show that men have to put up with bullsh*t too. I was violated and humiliated and called gay because I did not want to have sex with a girl. What made it even worse is the fact that everyone laughed about it.Then I post it on here and firemoon called my story "pathetic". When we all know that if I was a woman and came on here and shared the same story about a guy touching me inappropriately I would be met with sympathy and support. That is a huge double standard...Ya'll want to call men priviliged , but we deal with our fair share of bs. The only difference between men and women is women get sympathy, men don't. Just look at this forum? I'm the only man brave enough to stand up and give honest and frank male opinions and perspective on things and I'm hated and shamed for it. I have been called misogynistic and stupid and insulted in lots of mean ways. The sad thing is the other men are whipped (WORD EDITED BY RANDALL) and agree with everything the women say.Why? Because feminine opinions and values are all that matter these days, its politically incorrect to disagree with women for any reason. Any man who disagrees with women is a hateful bigoted misogynist.And yet irrational people insist we live in a patriarchal misogynistic rape culture. What kills me is how some of you wonder why some men are less than enthusiastic about feminism and womens issues when
you trivialize mens issues and tell us in so many ways
how they don't matter or are silly in comparison to
your own. Respect is a two way street, if you want men to give a sh*t about and respect women, return the respect. Honestly after all the disrespect and nonsense I have put up with from ya'll over the years I have an extremely hard time respecting any of you.IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 6966
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
|
posted November 22, 2013 11:15 AM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
YTA,
Seriously? I figured you of all people would be logical and sensible about it. How is encouraging and empowering women to defend themselves victim blaming? Maybe I'm crazy, but it seems like a good idea to me.So women don't want to report the incidents to the police and encouraging them to always be prepared to defend themselves is victim blaming, so what else is there to be done? seeing as both of the logical solutions to the problem have been ruled out.
Yes. Report. Indeed. Encouraging reporting isn't victim blaming.
It's the other comments. Look carefully at what I quoted. quote:
Women need to be taught to assert their agency in all cases.
Token resistance has to be addressed collectively.. by WOMEN.
Assert their agency meaning "try harder to prevent rape." "Token resistance" meaning that "try harder to resist." I did say pack some heat. But then, the whole mentality is "it's up to them to work harder to prevent it." Meaning that the victims in this case didn't "work hard enough." Never mind the criminals. quote:
The sad thing is the other men are whipped (WORD EDITED BY RANDALL) and agree with everything the women say.
You know that is patently untrue. I pretty much disagree with everything that everyone says, regardless of gender. I have no tolerance for the politically correct. quote:
Respect is a two way street
Indeed. IP: Logged |
12muddy
Knowflake Posts: 1727
From:
Registered: Feb 2013
|
posted November 22, 2013 11:41 AM
aquaguy, my reply was to you on this thread alone. You said it wasn't your intention to compare the cases, then I take my words back and apologize for implying it. As for your other points, I don't quite see things your ways. Men suffered too, I agree on that. On the occasions where I have seen such situations like your case, they have gotten support too. Why is it that rape records where the victims are females are so much higher? Why are victims blamed for what happened to them?There are many books, articles that explore the possible reasons, the pattern from the old days until now. Many of those points are addressed in this thread. If you don't agree that there is blatant misogyny that is often ignored or neglected, then I don't know what else to say. IP: Logged | |
Lindaland
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