posted November 22, 2013 12:20 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Aquacheeka:
So I now believe that every man is a potential rapist.

---

The scariest part is that no one actually quoted you to contradict this.

posted November 22, 2013 07:11 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Doux Ręve:
The scariest part is that no one actually quoted you to contradict this.

---

She said that's he she saw it and why she saw it that way and it was worded in a way that I thought she might realize she was being irrational (or understandably angry & scared remembering it) but she can't help herself (otherwise why have anything to do with men at all as she does?). If she instead asserted it was true and then gave her experiences why then I may have as it would've been clearer she thought it was objective reality rather than her subjective reality. Granted, a friend being gang raped at or near adulthood by boys you went to kindergarten with is pretty horrific though it raises all kinds of questions (just how close was she to them, what crowd were they, did those boys have an unusual sense of entitlement, and I could go on). But even if she were inclined to answer if I asked I didn't want to delve into obviously painful memories (especially on the hopefully off chance that it might not have been a "friend").

Of course any men who know they can never, ever be vetted to her satisfaction are perfectly excused to not have anything to do with her, and I'd advise any guys I was friends with to avoid her as they don't deserve that. It's one thing to be careful, it's another to see them all as monsters (if I knew someone was a werewolf at the time of a full moon I'd stay away from them at full moon or at least keep them caged with other safeguards, but if they could turn into a mindless beast at any time then I wouldn't be around them at any time). If I believed that (even if I realized I probably wasn't correct) I'd join lesbian separatists, which I've met before and could (and this one is even looking for younger members to join them).

posted November 23, 2013 01:12 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by aquaguy91:
12muddy,
I'm almost lost for words. I tried to level with ya'll and share my experience as a man, but ya'll wont hear it. I wasn't even beginning to say or imply that my experience was comparable to violent rape, so get that out of your mind right now. My intention was to show that men have to put up with bullsh*t too. I was violated and humiliated and called gay because I did not want to have sex with a girl. What made it even worse is the fact that everyone laughed about it.Then I post it on here and firemoon called my story "pathetic". When we all know that if I was a woman and came on here and shared the same story about a guy touching me inappropriately I would be met with sympathy and support. That is a huge double standard...

---

The things you say (in this thread alone) can be rude, offensive, and inconsiderate. Don't dish it out if you can't take it and then freak out about double standards.

As for your story, of course it's never ok to be touched inappropriately, and yes I agree gender roles aren't only harmful to women. I just didn't have the patience to discuss how wronged you felt by a girl wanting to have sex with you and giving you a lap dance. Especially since half your posts seem to be about how women are stuck up b****** who never pay you any attention...

posted November 23, 2013 02:42 AM            

I actually find a lot of male on male rape confusing, especially when it's done by homophobic men who seem to be straight (or at least prefer women). Some sports teams (both high school and college) have engaged in it (and also sexually assault females as well) and I've heard it's an epidemic in the Russian military (which is very anti-gay) where during the mandatory military service at least one male typically gets repeatedly raped by other males...a Russian told me that's why they have such a problem of soldiers who kill other soldiers (including mass shootings on military bases) was because of the vile and rampant male on male sexual abuse ('course feminism is like an alien concept in Russia). I suppose in the psychology of those who do such things it must be like the ultimate in calling another man a "faggot" or "***** " (that is not a man) but they say it in action. In some cases the rapists may actually be gay but at least in some cases it does seem to be done in sadism & domination and if they'll do that to other men when they're not even gay what will they do with the rest of us? At least some of them go on to rape women, including in date rape.

posted November 23, 2013 05:27 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by aquaguy91:
I'm rude and insensitive, ok

---

I really don't want to argue... What you fail to realize about the whole rape culture thing tho is that the same machismo, "real men" are always on the prowl for sexual conquests (and if not you're a ***) idea, is the same mentality that can be used as a defense saying if a woman is flaunting her sexuality it's to be expected that guys "can't help themselves"... (whether or not this was actually the case)

posted November 23, 2013 03:28 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by FireMoon:

The other reason I reacted that way to your story is that if you're secure with yourself and your sexuality, being called gay shouldn't be a problem, at least not one you can't just laugh off. If you found it offensive think for a minute about what gay males go through on a daily basis. If you can't put yourself in other peoples shoes, most if the time ppl won't go out if their way to do the same for you either...

---

posted November 23, 2013 03:53 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by aquaguy91:
That wasn't what I took issue with. I took issue with the fact that nobody even batted an eye at the fact that a girl was harassing a guy but they would have turned into a murderous mob if a guy had been harassing a girl. That's why this stuff about misogyny and rape culture leaves a bad taste in my mouth.Atleast around here people react very strongly to men hurting women in any way , so I just don't see the rape culture. I have seen a girl slapping the sh*t out of a guy and nobody got on her case about it but as soon as he got tired of it and back handed her guys swarmed him and beat the crap out of him.

---

Of course there's privileged treatment. Of course there's a double standard. Do you really want to yell foul? Just because a woman is allowed to fondle you, therefore you want rights to fondle women. Is that it? Stop groaning about it and just live with it. Or do you expect a woman to hold the door open for you half the time?

If the girl hits the guy, therefore the guy has the right to strike back?!? Men don't lay a hand on women, period. My own wife hits when she is mad. Sometimes she kicks. I just do nothing. Nod and live with it. The situation invariably resolves itself when cooler heads prevail. Accepting it isn't what you call being "whipped." WORD EDITED BY RANDALL. It's call having character as a man. I wouldn't ball my fist in front of a woman. I'll take out any and every man.

I admit there was one instance where I didn't follow my policy. It was a martial arts sparring exam and the female was too agressively heavy with the punch and kicks, while I punched to miss. After two points, and three warnings, she kept wanting to kick my in my testys, which is illegal. I lept a reverse flying kick to the chest and she was taken out unconscious.

posted November 24, 2013 12:21 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
Of course there's privileged treatment. Of course there's a double standard. Do you really want to yell foul? Just because a woman is allowed to fondle you, therefore you want rights to fondle women. Is that it? Stop groaning about it and just live with it. Or do you expect a woman to hold the door open for you half the time?

If the girl hits the guy, therefore the guy has the right to strike back?!? Men don't lay a hand on women, period. My own wife hits when she is mad. Sometimes she kicks. I just do nothing. Nod and live with it. The situation invariably resolves itself when cooler heads prevail. Accepting it isn't what you call being "whipped." WORD EDITED BY RANDALL. It's call having character as a man. I wouldn't ball my fist in front of a woman. I'll take out any and every man.

I admit there was one instance where I didn't follow my policy. It was a martial arts sparring exam and the female was too agressively heavy with the punch and kicks, while I punched to miss. After two points, and three warnings, she kept wanting to kick my in my testys, which is illegal. I lept a reverse flying kick to the chest and she was taken out unconscious.

You don't seem to like taking a back seat to women. What's next? Male rights club? Masculinism?

---

posted November 24, 2013 02:27 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by aquaguy91:
That wasn't what I took issue with. I took issue with the fact that nobody even batted an eye at the fact that a girl was harassing a guy but they would have turned into a murderous mob if a guy had been harassing a girl. That's why this stuff about misogyny and rape culture leaves a bad taste in my mouth.Atleast around here people react very strongly to men hurting women in any way , so I just don't see the rape culture. I have seen a girl slapping the sh*t out of a guy and nobody got on her case about it but as soon as he got tired of it and back handed her guys swarmed him and beat the crap out of him.

---

Lets do some real talk here.

All I have gathered from all your posts in this thread so far (leaving aside some of your points which are assumptions for argument sake) is :

1. You were wrongly molested by a female.(Sorry to hear).

2. You feel that there are double standards put out there in general about a males getting sexually assaulted over females.(Sure, just like there are double standards about a lot of other things in this world).

3. You are vaguely suggesting that women should take better precaution to prevent rape by educating themselves further and using common sense. (Yeah sure, education is key about any subject really).

Now, first off, I want to make it clear to you that the original poster started this thread with education and facts about the act of ACTUAL RAPE.

Now, understanding that you have been molested is heartfelt from me and most others who have it in their hearts to understand and sympathize. You have to understand the very basic in case you have not already. We live around and are surrounded by differences in all sorts of people. As good/bad as it is, you cannot expect everybody to understand and sympathize in the same way.

Now with that being said, do you ACTUALLY have experience with RAPE? For you to come in here and suggest that there are double standards put on by society in regards of molestation in male/female scenarios is wholly out of context with what the thread is actually about : The act of sexual RAPE. Whether you realize it or not, you are taking an issue with yourself and whether intentionally or unintelltionally comparing it with something that is different than the actual topic.

Yes, there maybe* double standards out there regarding any sort of sexual abuse ranging from all levels( molestation to actual rape.)Read back carefully, not even one of your points have any correlation in regards to what the actual topic at hand actually concerns. Now, if you are still failing to understand what Im saying here:

Yes, you were sexually molested. In my adult life, I have been randomly sexually molested in certain situations in the past as well. Am I going to compare that to ACTUAL RAPE? No. If it is not something you understand fully or know about, don't attempt to vaguely state your assumptions on what you may not understand. To someone who has ACTUALLY SUFFERED it, it can be a deeply touchy subject.

Also, whether you are illuded in your mind or not about the real actuality of it, whether male or female no person can avoid being overpowered if it is not in them to. Rape is not something that comes with premonition either. So for you suggest that women( who by general genetics are more prominately smaller than men) should avoid force of rape by educating them selves and using common sense also lacks in making much sense.) A bigger person will easily overpower a smaller person or even a group to one person. This is real talk.

I do not control you or anybody's actions except my own. I would HIGHLY suggest processing what you are saying and putting out there to others in your mind before vaguely commenting. It maybe rude and insensitive (as you have suggested yourself) to people whom have actually suffered it.

And lastly, the fact that you are aware of the fact that you are "rude and insensitive" should give you an even more straight set point to further better yourself.

And if its still not clear to you:

more simple: It is okay to complain about or discuss a situation with others. It is not okay to make assumptions on something you do not know of or understand.

posted November 24, 2013 04:18 AM            

quote:

---

"Now consider human males. No doubt you have noticed an alarming trend in the news. Powerful men have been behaving badly, e.g. tweeting, raping, cheating, and being offensive to just about everyone in the entire world. The current view of such things is that the men are to blame for their own bad behavior. That seems right. Obviously we shouldn’t blame the victims. I think we all agree on that point. Blame and shame are society’s tools for keeping things under control.

"The part that interests me is that society is organized in such a way that the natural instincts of men are shameful and criminal while the natural instincts of women are mostly legal and acceptable. In other words, men are born as round pegs in a society full of square holes. Whose fault is that? Do you blame the baby who didn’t ask to be born male? Or do you blame the society that brought him into the world, all round-pegged and turgid, and said, 'Here’s your square hole'?"

Let us consider the many stupidities he offers us.

"Raping, cheating, and being offensive" are "natural" to men. You know, I have never in my life felt even the slightest urge to rape anyone; I’d go so far as to say that I’d have to be forced to rape, would probably find myself physically incapable of the act, and would find violent assault to be incredibly unnatural. I’ve also never been tempted to cheat on my wife (that’s a little bit unnatural, but then she’s got magic powers). I confess, I can be offensive to people, but that’s just me — most people quail at the thought of offending others. So here we have some presumptions about men that are just plain false.

And what’s with this "natural" nonsense anyway? It’s meaningless. What he’s really doing is trying to justify bad behavior with the "well, everyone else is doing it" excuse. It’s a logical fallacy. It doesn’t work. It especially doesn’t work when everyone else isn’t doing it.

Then he whines about us poor pitiful men, whose "natural" instincts (to rape, apparently) are so restricted, while women just get to run riot and do whatever they feel like doing — "blame and shame" are almost never, ever applied to control women’s behavior.

Stop laughing so hard! I see you out there with my magic blog-o-vision, goggling unbelievingly at the very idea that women are unconstrained by societal conventions.

All Scott Adams has written is a plea to allow him to indulge his whims without condemnation, coupled with a presumably inadvertent admission that some of his whims are pretty damned repulsive. Sorry, guy, if you dream of harming fellow members of your culture, you’re going to be slapped down and told you don’t get to do that. Go live in a cave if you resent having to get along with others and respect their autonomy

---

quote:

---

It also seems that some of us men are living happy, rape-free lives with cheerful, unassaulted sexual partners, and are also engaging frequently in enthusiastic sex without feeling like society is forcing us to do something weird and unnatural, and also without feeling that our happiness can only come by causing our partners misery. Poor little Scotty. I get the impression that he doesn’t find his sex life all that satisfying.

---

posted November 24, 2013 09:12 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by MsPrism:
If you purposely hurt someone, expect to get hurt back, it's that simple.

---

Well, I'm too macho (stupid?) to lay a hand on a female. The act goes against my conscience and morals. A man lays a hand on me and I'll whack him to a pulp.

posted November 24, 2013 09:33 AM            

I think that's why I met you.

I think every relationship I have ever had, I unconsciously expected them to live up to what you just naturally are.

posted November 24, 2013 02:06 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
Well, I'm too macho (stupid?) to lay a hand on a female. The act goes against my conscience and morals. A man lays a hand on me and I'll whack him to a pulp.

Striking a woman is also the express way to jail plus a large civil rights suit. I'll let some other idiot take that path.

---

posted November 24, 2013 05:05 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by MsPrism:
You don't really have to lay a hand on someone to hurt them, there are other ways. The point is that pain in it's many forms is a great teacher, sharing is caring.

---

I don't hurt those I love, period. Those whom I don't exactly love, I still love them as humans and I don't set out to inflict pain. I discipline out of love, but it's not designed to inflict pain but rather to exact strict guidance. I am a harsh diciplinarian, but that's on children. In my eyes, inflicting pain is akin to not loving.

posted November 27, 2013 06:08 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by PixieJane:
The people who wrote the Old Testament so to speak were a fiercely warlike, patriarchal culture who were very concerned about having more male soldiers (and thus multiple wives including from people they conquered) and also needed propaganda against some goddess (the details of that last part escape me offhand, and it's complicated by how much history is in it) so it is what it is. Yet the majority of the Old Testament is ignored today, even by the few Christians who take the time to learn it and most Jews I've known don't get their views on women from it either (my understanding is that even in Israel the truly misogynistic Jews for religious reasons are a minority not favored by the government).

Yes, some Christians are misogynists and the Bible has an effect on THEM and they use it as a tool to try to spread their misogyny to their kids and to society, but these days the Bible is more of a cafeteria, they take what they want from it and ignore the rest (while pretending to be fully in accordance with the Bible). As frustrating as that segment is if you make people defensive about the Bible is that you're going to alienate people who would otherwise be on your side on this so one thing to do is not to do so unless someone says "well the Bible says women are weak and evil" (granted, few will be so crass, but the ones who use the Bible to justify their misogyny are pretty obvious despite their objections and "being sneaky" about it IMO).

Making Bible believers defensive will alienate those of them who would be on your side instead of getting them to help you and that strengthens the misogynists thumping the Bible (or at the very least keeps them from helping you thinking you're just as bad in your own way as the misogynists, both "not understanding the Bible" from their perspective and they tend to believe people without God would rape everyone anyway). If someone uses religion to justify hurting or hating women (either subtly or overtly) you could ask others who share the religion if they believe the same way and you'll instead get some on your side and that weakens the misogynists using religion because then people don't feel they have to choose between this issue and God.

---

PixieJane, thanks for making some excellent points. I’d like to clear up some things though … more for others reading the thread, rather than you … because I think you have a pretty good idea where I’m coming from. I appreciate that you’re keeping the purpose of the thread uppermost in your mind.

My intent in making this thread has been prompted by a genuine concern for a very serious and a very real social problem … that of violence against women … rather than to bash any scripture or group of people in any way whatsoever. I like Jesus … even more so after gaining a personal sense about him through three dreams I had just this past summer. And I’ve already had two past life recalls as a Jewish sympathizer woman … so I can hardly be against the Jewish community (still have to document all these on my Kundalini thread). Neither do I wish to rub someone’s nose in some wrong that was done 4000 years ago just so they can feel guilty and defensive now. My time and energy are precious and I don’t seek to waste them on this type of immature foolishness because it won’t contribute to an increase in my awareness. My eye is on finding a solution to the problem we’re facing now by understanding what happened in the past … however far back the wrong happened. Because the only way we can fix a problem is by first understanding the full extent of it.

CONTINUED ...

posted November 27, 2013 06:21 PM            

This may be true … but the mode of conduct in the west toward women (and the mode is usually picked up by watching others rather than from reading a book. 95% of communication between people is non verbal, so we pick up things by watching others do them) … so this mode of conduct has been passed down from generation to generation over thousands of years … with each passing decade modifying what was done previously to fit in with the more current times (I would imagine).

For example, Freud taught us to blame our parents for all our shortcomings … [and Marx taught us to blame the upper class, lol] … and even though most of Freud’s theories have been tossed out (except for the one on the Oedipus complex which seems to be holding true so far), and even though there are not many who read his books unless they’re assigned reading for a class … yet most people today still end up blaming their parents for emotional/psychological issues that affect their adult lives. And that’s where they get stuck … at the stage of blame … rather than using the information to heal themselves. So, although it’s important to trace the source of emotional issues (and yes many times the source goes all the way back to our childhood), it’s equally important to do so with the purpose of using that info to heal … so that we can move forward.

Not to mention that blaming parents gets us nowhere. I mean, if I were to say to my parents …

“Mom, Dad, my life sucks because of you,” I’m likely to hear something along the lines of …

“You don’t know how good you have it. When we were your age there was no water … that water that you now get so easily by simply turning on the faucet. No siree … we had to make water by combining hydrogen and oxygen. And what’s more … we had to walk 7 miles to get the hydrogen and oxygen!”

Try winning that argument! I don’t think I could … not in a million years. So it’s easier for me to take full responsibility and accountability for all of who I am … the good and the not so good. [BTW, we all have, what I call the “You don’t know how good you have it” gene. It gets turned on the minute our child begins to mouth off, which usually begins in the teenage years].

The point I’m trying to make is … that my purpose in bringing up the Bible on the subject of subjugation of women in the west is to trace when and where the repression began … to put things in perspective and to understand the depths of the issue … just as we do when we trace our personal emotional histories within our families. So my point is not to assign blame (none of us lived back then, it’s done and over with, the Hebrews are no longer around so it doesn’t matter anyway). BUT … it is important to understand that a certain behavior pattern (with modifications to fit current times) is being perpetuated, and has been perpetuated for a very long time. And the understanding of this is necessary to put an end to it, imo. Otherwise we end up blaming each other and the society we live in, while making no move to try and fix the problem because we don’t understand it.

So I don’t think that the answer lies in stopping the mention of certain historical facts for fear of alienating a group of people affected by that fact, especially when half of society is still being affected. That would mean we should also never mention Hitler’s atrocities, or some of the terrible things that were done by the Brits in their attempt to “colonize” other countries (just 2 of the many examples in history). I have both British and German friends and we talk about these things openly. And my friends bring up slavery issue in the U.S. None of this is intended to make the other feel guilty and we do take each other’s sensibilities into consideration.

CONTINUED ...

posted November 27, 2013 06:30 PM            

All mythology in all scriptures of the world should be understood as metaphors because that is the only way to try and understand God who is otherwise indescribable. All symbols in mythology refer to us individually … the inference being that God isn’t some old bearded man dressed in white out there somewhere, or up in the sky … but within us. We can get stuck thinking it’s all out there when really the reference of the metaphors is to me. I can think about and even feel greatly pained about how Jesus suffered—out there. But that suffering ought to be going on in me. The question each of us should be asking is have I been spiritually reborn? Have I died to my animal nature and been reborn as a human incarnation of compassion? If this is what every man and every woman kept in mind there would be no need to discuss violence against women because it wouldn’t be happening … or at least not to the extent that it is.

Here’s a joke about taking things literally – a husband and wife were arguing about who should brew coffee in the morning. The husband said that he was the head of the family so the wife should brew it. The wife however said it was written in the Bible that the husband should. The husband said, show me where it’s written. The wife opened the Bible to the chapter He-brew.

Also, even though the Old Testament isn’t really read by most, yet the Creation story in which Eve is the seducer, temptress, and sinner is well known. The image of Eve covered only by strategically placed fig leaves, standing in front of the tree of knowledge, and offering the apple to Adam has got to be one of the most enduring images of time. And it has doubtless contributed in a huge way to the way men view women … consciously and subconsciously … and women view (blame) other women. But this again is another example of literal understanding, and therefore misunderstanding.

Because actually, there is no physical Garden of Eden, which is supposed to be a metaphor … for that plane of consciousness that is “innocent” of time. It is supposed to be the reality beyond the time, which is characteristic of our 3D world (time exists only in the 3D). The Garden represents Eternity, a level of consciousness that is beyond our 3D duality, meaning, this world of opposites. [This is why God cannot be understood by the human perception of the 3D world]. So out of that Consciousness of Eternity (called God) that is beyond the consciousness of opposites … comes this world of time, duality, and opposites-->man, woman.

What does the Fall imply? Well, first God was an Entity in Eternity. Now It enters time, becomes aware and says, “I am.” Then the Creation story (which is similar to the Creation stories of other religions) implies that as soon as God thought, “I am”, It was afraid. Then It thought, “What should I be afraid of, I’m the only thing that is.” And as soon as It said that, It felt lonesome, and so It felt desire. As a result, It swelled, split in two, became male and female and begot the world. So the Fall is really the change that takes place in the consciousness of God when It moves from Eternity into the field of time.

When we try and understand the story of the Garden of Eden in terms of metaphors, we realize that no one is the “original” sinner, and so we can stop blaming each other, especially the woman for being the temptress and seducer who caused mankind’s fall from grace.

Similarly, the end of the world is not an event to come, but an event of psychological transformation … and visionary transformation … when the old way of living is annihilated and we begin to see a world of radiance.

CONTINUED ...

posted November 27, 2013 06:35 PM            

*Another Bible mention alert*

The eastern religions consider nature as a divinity. But in Genesis we are to be masters of the world, implying our superiority over nature. God is separate from nature and nature is condemned of God. Now, if we begin to think of ourselves as coming out of the earth, instead of having been thrown here from somewhere else, we begin to realize that we are the earth, the people of this planet. An understanding of this, especially by women is important to get a sense of our true identity and wipe out self-esteem issues. Society is patriarchal; nature is matrilineal. When the Goddess was rejected, so was nature. Moving back toward nature will bring back the Mother Principle again.

The Goddess religions emerged because women played a dominant role in the domestication of the human race—the planting and harvesting activities of the early societies. So woman became important in terms of magic power—the power to give birth and nourishment … just as the earth does. So her magic supports the magic of the earth. She is the first planter. It is only later, when the plow is invented, that the male takes over the agricultural lead.

So when the Goddess was worshipped, the dominant qualities revered were feminine and nurturing. When She was replaced by the male God, aggression became the dominant quality to be revered. Today we are facing the consequences of out of control aggression in the form of rape and violence against women. Since aggression is a natural impulse, and the world today is more global than it ever was before, we as a global society, need to figure out how to channel the energy of aggression (in both men and women) so that it doesn’t harm others.

.

posted November 27, 2013 06:48 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by PixieJane:
As for the next part of your question, I would say continue to get men to help. The "My Strength is Not For Hurting" has had a positive effect and wrestling stars like Mick Foley working with RAINN has boys looking up to them and making the message of their heroes their own ethics.

Plenty of boys really want to do the right thing. I've played with them children and they weren't all just raging fighters who figured might makes right (only a few were like that and the ones who were often had parents with that same attitude), when someone played the bad guy they were expected to lose, I think the ones playing the villains even wanted to lose in the end (after a good fight of course). Most of them don't want to just be the biggest bad ass they can be, they want to be HEROES, the good guys who are admired & respected instead of feared. You can even see it in their entertainment (like say Harry Potter), and bullies who just try to be right through might without character or ethics are generally reviled, ironically more by the kids (who know so well when "it's not fair") than by many adults who have gotten used to the unfairness of the world (and rather kids not inconvenience them with the problems of kids).

Just as anti-smoking campaigns on those young have cut down significantly on smoking I believe the rape culture can also be changed by similar campaigns. Easier said than done, however, the particulars would be much more complicated and many adults resistant for various reasons (and it could backfire if done wrong), but male heroes that boys looking up to speaking out against rape and promoting the idea that strength is for protection rather than hurting should help. Furthermore the boy code AND the girl code need to be addressed as well as both facilitate the creation of rape culture (among other problems). It's already being done by a few schools in an effort to stamp out bullying (by both genders).

---

"Just as anti-smoking campaigns on those young have cut down significantly on smoking I believe the rape culture can also be changed by similar campaigns."

Yes anti smoking campaigns have cut down on smoking in the US. Unfortunately, Philip Morris is now selling those cigs in other countries in the east, so I expect that lung cancer cases in those countries are going to be rising in the future. This is why global solutions to problems are needed.

But campaigns are very important in the scheme of things, particularly the ones that address self esteem issues. I like the dove campaign for self esteem that underlines the following-Positive self-esteem makes all girls unstoppable.

Thank you for your comments, Pixie which are always very informative and helpful.

.

posted November 27, 2013 07:14 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Swift Freeze:
Quite frankly, any Man that does not speak out and openly oppose Rape, well I would have serious doubts about them.

---

I agree with this as it would be an indicator of lack of empathy/coldness.

A woman friend of mine was seeing a guy she was getting to know. Shortly after meeting him she discussed with him the Dec 2012 rape of a 23 year old Indian med student (the student had been gang raped by 6 men while traveling in a New Delhi bus with a male friend. They also violated her with a metal rod and then threw her and her friend naked out of the bus. The girl died 13 days later from sepsis that caused her organs to fail one by one. The crime was so horrific that it brought out practically the entire capital of the country in protest of rape laws that needed changing and the serious lack of protection for rape victims and women in general).

Well when my friend (who is Indian) discussed the incident with this guy (also Indian) because the entire Indian community in the US was talking about it, his response was to say something to the effect that women get drunk and have sex with guys and then later blame the guys for taking advantage. He said absolutely NOTHING about the rape of the Indian girl and brought up something else that wasn't even being discussed.

My friend couldn't understand his response and later discussed it again with him, pointing out that she was shocked he expressed no empathy for the rape victim, to which he said of course it wasn't right that it happened. She also asked him if he held some sort of anger against women and whether he'd ever been involved in a drunken scenario where he had sex with someone who later blamed him. He said no to both.

A few weeks later she broke things off with him because this whole incident just didn't sit well with her ... that he didn't come right out and express his shock and horror at what had happened ... to one of his own country women too! She concluded that he lacked empathy for women in general and didn't want to get involved with a cold person.