posted December 06, 2013 11:32 AM            

Some of them really are that stubborn and feel that the world needs to change, not them. But some do actually want to change, it's just something they don't know how to start with. Their thought pattern has been shaped by their experiences (which are often negative due to endless misunderstandings) and it isn't that easy to suddenly do it another way.

There are things they miss that most people could never imagine someone would, but a lot of their behaviour is learnt. They need to be aware and they usually aren't.

posted December 06, 2013 06:34 PM            

quote:

---

Give them time to get to know you for who you are, not your condition.

---

posted December 06, 2013 08:40 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Faith:
Thanks SF! I think it's great that you want to support this online militant feminist community. We radical feminists are always looking for a few good men....you know, the ones who have repented for being born male and are willing to try and atone for their gender.

You can burn your bra too, but first you have to wear the evil contraption for a while. To really get in touch with female pain, I invite you to chose one that is tight fitting with underwire support that digs into your ribs and cuts off circulation to the lymph nodes in your armpits (which are unshaven, just like ours.) A faulty bra with padding that goes wonky and betrays the fact that your boobs aren't actually as big as you were pretending will help you get the most from your experience.

Then we can all start our healing together.

---

BWAHAHAAHAAA!!!

posted December 06, 2013 08:43 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Padre35:
Thanks T, that is merely a byproduct of lots of time listening, and lots of time listening...and lots of time reading the Bible

Sincerely hope all is well with you

---

Thank you. Things have definitely been a lot better, but also been much worse. I try to run with the happy moments even when things are bleak. Glad i can still find them in the midst of that.

posted December 06, 2013 08:45 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Swift Freeze:
What a great sentiment, I'd be more than happy to support you both.

---

posted December 06, 2013 08:57 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Odette:
T -

Honestly - I would've just thought - this dude sounds jaded and hurt. He's obviously had some negative experiences and he's projecting them my way - so I'll just be honest and tell him what I think... and if I'm not ready to date - I could tell him that also.

So it would be ball in his court!
If I clearly said.. "Actually I just want to keep chatting for some time. I'm not interested in seeing you face2face yet. I'm not ready for that".. and afterwards he kept insisting and he didn't respect my boundaries... then I would avoid him.

Or... if his reaction was to drop everything because I said 'no' to dating... then again, that would be his prerogative.
But I wouldn't run for the hills - purely in virtue of the messages he sent.

---

And that's what's great about different people. Aquaguy could potentially have a relationship with someone like you. You are closer in age (i believe) You interpret him in a different way. I think we are both probably a bit 'right' about him.

My lifetime of experience brought me to the conclusion that he is very young and inexperienced in relationships. That's the sense i get from him. At my age, i've no time for someone like that and would not feel sorry for him, i have been there done that and he reminds me of some guys from when i was younger, but for the two of you, it's a different story and still in a learning, exploring process with your peers. So you can relate to them better.

It's great that he has people like that around here, as not everyone can be so patient. We are all at different points and grew up at different times. When i was his age, no one had computers or smart phones or were on dating sites. So it's interesting to try to give advice to a different age group and also hear their advice to each other.

posted December 06, 2013 09:03 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by meissieri:
Hmm. I think we should consider that he does have Aspergers. It's hard for them to let go of something they know. It takes lots of help from people around them who are willing to point these things out when they happen - rather than in hindsight.

Some of them really are that stubborn and feel that the world needs to change, not them. But some do actually want to change, it's just something they don't know how to start with. Their thought pattern has been shaped by their experiences (which are often negative due to endless misunderstandings) and it isn't that easy to suddenly do it another way.

There are things they miss that most people could never imagine someone would, but a lot of their behaviour is learnt. They need to be aware and they usually aren't.

Like... it's not an excuse, but it does explain a few things. Though I would advise him not to tell someone he just met - it comes across as sharing too much too quickly and can overwhelm the other person. Give them time to get to know you for who you are, not your condition.

---

Sorry, i forgot about that. And it is important to consider.

posted December 07, 2013 04:02 PM            

I want to give you a thumbs up for your comment on Sagittarius girls. I agree, they'd be a better match for him, especially since he says how badly he wants the girl to be direct. Sag Mercuries especially don't beat around the bush, I've noticed.

Capricorn too. They're very no-drama and would prefer to keep things honest (like what Odette and YTA have been saying here).

posted December 07, 2013 04:04 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by T:
Sorry, i forgot about that. And it is important to consider.

I agree that he would not want to overwhelm someone with that info or give such personal info right away either.

---

^ We all forget things sometimes. It's okay.

Yes, it's a very double feeling. I mean, I do think he should let the girl know at some point, but too soon and you scare them off.

I wonder, AQ, when do you usually tell? I know, another question for you.

posted December 08, 2013 10:58 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by meissieri:
Hanna, thanks.

I want to give you a thumbs up for your comment on Sagittarius girls. I agree, they'd be a better match for him, especially since he says how badly he wants the girl to be direct. Sag Mercuries especially don't beat around the bush, I've noticed.

Capricorn too. They're very no-drama and would prefer to keep things honest (like what Odette and YTA have been saying here).

So AQ, if you still read this, what do you think of the Sag/Cap combo? These girls may suit what you need a lot better.

---

posted December 08, 2013 10:59 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by meissieri:
^ We all forget things sometimes. It's okay.

Yes, it's a very double feeling. I mean, I do think he should let the girl know at some point, but too soon and you scare them off.

I wonder, AQ, when do you usually tell? I know, another question for you.

---