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Author
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Topic: I don't get people
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CatMote
Knowflake Posts: 554
From: Fighting Neptune for his trident
Registered: Apr 2013
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posted December 01, 2013 04:14 PM
  
quote:
Originally posted by Haplesschild*:
It's the way you said it.
You could have said 'Lol, so is that a yes or a no? I'll take that as a yes, can't wait :P' instead of dragging all your baggage up and showing it to her right off the bat haha.
exactly! ------------------
Sun Aries Moon Pisces
Mars Pisces Venus Pisces
Mercury Aries Jupiter in Virgo
Saturn in Aquarius Pluto in Scorpio
Neptune and Uranus in Capricorn
Ascendant Libra IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 7907
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted December 01, 2013 04:15 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Haplesschild*:
It's the way you said it.
You could have said 'Lol, so is that a yes or a no? I'll take that as a yes, can't wait :P' instead of dragging all your baggage up and showing it to her right off the bat haha.
Your suggestion doesn't convey the annoyance I felt though. I'm just going to let you in on a little secret, most guys I have talked to agree that they wish women were more direct and didn't pull this kind of stuff. I know for a fact that most of my close friends have been very angry at girls for doing this kind of thing . Wanna know the difference between me and other guys? I actually have the cojones to confront a woman and let her know it annoys me . Most guys are too chicken to confront women because they don't want to cause problems or a volatile emotional reaction so they keep their mouths shut. I am of the opinion that it's always best to speak up about stuff like this because how can it get fixed otherwise? IP: Logged |
Haplesschild*
Knowflake Posts: 1252
From:
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted December 01, 2013 04:19 PM
That's the whole point. Even if you're annoyed, you should sound playful and unphased. It brings your 'stock' up and makes you seem self assured and relaxed, not negative and anxious lol!You can be direct, without sounding angry or confrontational.
This advice applies to girls in the same situation. You don't want jump down peoples throats. Showing restraint makes you appear in control of yourself, which is an attractive quality. Also telling somebody you get led on by women all the time isn't exactly making you look good. It's like if a chick tells a guy 'just be straight up with me, guys constantly play around with me and I'm sick of it.'
Red lights flash...Possibly interested guy GONE. IP: Logged |
Ellynlvx
Knowflake Posts: 1929
From: Mountain Gate
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted December 01, 2013 05:10 PM
Good Advice, AquaGuy.IP: Logged |
DeepFreeze
Knowflake Posts: 429
From: Pluto
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted December 01, 2013 06:11 PM
Removed
Shouldn't have gotten involved. IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 6470
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted December 01, 2013 06:45 PM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
no, I just wanted a straight answer lmao. I hate dishonesty and "idk " is a dishonest answer. I don't even know why people try to fool each other with silly crap like that. Everyone knows "idk" or other noncommittal answers means no 99% of the time, so why not just come right out and say it? Lol
And I agree wholeheartedly.
But what's so hard about just saying nothing and walking away? Why would you feel compelled to explain your position to someone fundamentally indecisive and possibly dishonest? IP: Logged |
DeepFreeze
Knowflake Posts: 429
From: Pluto
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted December 01, 2013 06:51 PM
Removed
Shouldn't have gotten involved. IP: Logged |
Haplesschild*
Knowflake Posts: 1252
From:
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted December 01, 2013 07:13 PM
He sounds self entitled, whiny and jaded (all rolled up into one) when he texted that.Next time relax and don't be soo direct. And Aquaguy, I'm by no means saying the girl was right in doing what she did. She sounds like a flake and just wanted attention. IP: Logged |
MsPrism
Knowflake Posts: 1186
From:
Registered: Jun 2013
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posted December 02, 2013 12:10 AM
I have to admit, HaplessChild's example response would have made me laugh and thus made me more inclined to say yes. I recommend HaplessChild's advice. And "IDK" does usually end in no but it could have been for reasons not related to you. Now you'll never know but in the future that kind of situation can end differently. IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 6294
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted December 02, 2013 12:47 AM
idk… i don't think you should have to censor what you say when you date someone. But I think a Sag would've more appreciated that kind of directness than any other sign. Do you know any Sagittarius girls?IP: Logged |
DeepFreeze
Knowflake Posts: 429
From: Pluto
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted December 02, 2013 02:06 AM
Removed
Shouldn't have gotten involved. IP: Logged |
MsPrism
Knowflake Posts: 1186
From:
Registered: Jun 2013
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posted December 02, 2013 02:14 AM
Yeah, you have to give each other the benefit of the doubt at first. I mean, seriously, none of us would have relationship experience if we weren't really trying to not scare anyone off at first glance.I mean, let's take some outrageous habit that we hypothetically have, like jumping to conclusions. We would try to stifle that until the other person knows that we're not a total psycho killer just ready to flip out at any moment. Once you know the person, you can show a little bit of your neurotic/obsessed/weird & wild side because they know that you're not *always* like that. ------------
I'm pretty blunt but I don't tend to flip out like that on anyone either. I have Sun conjunct Jupiter in the 1st. *brushes awesome sauce off lapel* IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 6294
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted December 02, 2013 02:43 AM
quote:
Originally posted by DeepFreeze:
Someone you are dating or someone that you are trying to get a first date with? To me there's a big difference between the two. With online dating it's almost like one long, lingering first impression.
Oy that is SO true. However someone (maybe more than one) person said he forced her to say something which I disagree with too. Nobody forces anyone to do anything. I usually disagree with AG, but here I think he was just being blunt. I think after a continuous first impression you get the feel of someone's personality and understand how to take them (to an extent.) I don't think AG would just say that to a girl he met once and texted for a day. IP: Logged |
Haplesschild*
Knowflake Posts: 1252
From:
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted December 02, 2013 02:48 AM
^ but he hasn't even met her in person. Regardless of the fact they've texted for longer than a couple of days, it's still full on in ANY situation. If this was a guy I've been dating for a month and he came out like this it would turn me off. No lie.IP: Logged |
Swift Freeze
Knowflake Posts: 514
From: One World
Registered: Nov 2009
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posted December 02, 2013 04:51 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Ellynlvx:
Yes, but "Who's on, First?"
What are you asking me for!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wfmvkO5x6Ng IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 6294
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted December 02, 2013 06:20 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Haplesschild*:
^ but he hasn't even met her in person. Regardless of the fact they've texted for longer than a couple of days, it's still full on in ANY situation. If this was a guy I've been dating for a month and he came out like this it would turn me off. No lie.
Shrug. What can I say? I get that it comes across as aggressive to you, other girls, and for the most part you're probably right that it weirded this girl out. She wasn't mature enough to be clear about her intentions from the start so lord knows how she really felt about receiving a text like that. But it just shows her and Aquaguy are at different points in their life. It's a snafu at best, nothing to totally discount someone for.
IP: Logged |
Odette
Knowflake Posts: 2981
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted December 02, 2013 07:30 AM
Hannah - quote:
I usually disagree with AG, but here I think he was just being blunt.
Yeah. I feel the same way. It wouldn't scare me.
I would just reply with the truth.
Aqua -
quote:
I am of the opinion that it's always best to speak up about stuff like this because how can it get fixed otherwise?
I completely agree with this. Although you could've been a tad more diplomatic in your delivery.
I do think you should be honest though - and don't hold back or make stuff up. I also speak up when something bothers me. If the person I'm interacting with is not able to be open and honest with me - generally that means they're not my kind of person. IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 6470
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted December 02, 2013 08:44 AM
Why shouldn't he be direct?Just that he shouldn't have bothered further. She's a total waste of time IMO. The funny thing is that he likes the general description of Libras, which are the antithesis of who he is. I would venture to say that he's incompatible with the fuzzy equivocating diplomatic type. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 50206
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted December 02, 2013 08:49 AM
I also speak up when something bothers me. If the person I'm interacting with is not able to be open and honest with me - generally that means they're not my kind of person. Very wise, Odette! ------------------
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IP: Logged |
Padre35
Knowflake Posts: 2826
From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012
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posted December 02, 2013 10:57 AM
I think AG was proper in speaking up b/c lots of guys do not and become doormats in future relationships.They turn into Ray Romano's, always walking on eggshells, always doubting themselves. there should be tension when there is attraction, that is a proper thing. IMO AG's created tension was based on a good self image and unwillingness to be treated badly. Now he did go hard in the paint over it all which I probably would not have done, granted he's more akin to YTA in bluntness, for myself I would have been a bit more diplomatic.
IP: Logged |
Catalina
Knowflake Posts: 946
From: shamballa
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted December 02, 2013 11:23 AM
A conversation is just that. Did she say anything particularly "leading"? Was the convo sexy or flirty, or just talking? Perhaps she was trying to get to know you...perhaps she was just indulging in some nonthreatening fantasy. Then again perhaps she weighs 300 lbs and is lonely but scared?In any case when you say "I get this from women all the time" you are telling her a) you don't get very far with other women; b) you suspect her of being like the herd and c) you see women as less than fair. In other words you set yourself up to receive exactly the treatment you expected. You had each other's phone numbers maybe an actual phone call would have been the next logical step? Big difference in immediacy when you talk right to each other without the lag involved in txting... I just think AG that you give the impression that ANY girl would do but paradoxically you insist on telling them how to behave almost immediately. I would run a mile from someone who talked to me like that! IP: Logged |
geea
Knowflake Posts: 754
From: hitchhiking through the galaxy
Registered: Jun 2011
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posted December 02, 2013 11:41 AM
quote:
Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
The funny thing is that he likes the general description of Libras, which are the antithesis of who he is. I would venture to say that he's incompatible with the fuzzy equivocating diplomatic type.
bc its easier to have cojones with dumb bimbos that libras seem to portray so well
oops IP: Logged |
Faith
Moderator Posts: 6232
From:
Registered: Jul 2011
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posted December 02, 2013 11:47 AM
quote:
Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
Why would you feel compelled to explain your position to someone fundamentally indecisive and possibly dishonest?
It cracks me up how harsh you people can get. She said "idk" So crucify her. 
IP: Logged |
CatMote
Knowflake Posts: 554
From: Fighting Neptune for his trident
Registered: Apr 2013
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posted December 02, 2013 11:52 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Padre35:
They turn into Ray Romano's, always walking on eggshells, always doubting themselves.
dont you diss ray romano!!! lmao ------------------
Sun Aries Moon Pisces
Mars Pisces Venus Pisces
Mercury Aries Jupiter in Virgo
Saturn in Aquarius Pluto in Scorpio
Neptune and Uranus in Capricorn
Ascendant Libra IP: Logged |
Padre35
Knowflake Posts: 2826
From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012
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posted December 02, 2013 12:12 PM
quote:
Originally posted by CatMote:
dont you diss ray romano!!! lmao
I just did!  Not saying become Tarzan but sheesh, I suspect testosterone levels drop by +/- 3% for every episode watched IP: Logged |
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