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Author Topic:   Something that's been bothering me about the recent fights here...
Ami Anne
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Posts: 54665
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted May 17, 2014 01:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Then, I started expressing my opinions more. Some people didn't like them and attacked me. I was a hair trigger and would attack back worse than I was attacked.

I went through this for several years.

Then, I learned to ignore. Now, I get attacked and most of the time, ignore.

I try to keep my side of the street clean. If I am wrong, I say I am sorry, which I have several times on here.

I will be wrong and so it is no shame to admit it.

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Faith
Knowflake

Posts: 7416
From:
Registered: Jul 2011

posted May 17, 2014 01:02 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Faith     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Ami Anne:
I was thinking about my time on LL. When I came on 6 years ago

LOL

Gotta mention it EVERY TIME, right???

Over and out.

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Ami Anne
Moderator

Posts: 54665
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted May 17, 2014 01:02 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
However, the upshot of this( and for the newbies, in particular) is that now I have a career that I love.

On my website, I will be both attacked and complimented for the same thing.

Some people will tell me they love my articles because they are so simple and easy to understand.

Other people will tell me they hate them because they are simplistic.

I am in Astrology groups. Some people adore how I write. Some people hate it.

That is the point of why I am writing all this.

One can find one's personal expression on LL and for that reason, LL is a blessed and wonderful place.

For anyone who wants to face himself, he can

------------------
Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.


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MoonWitch
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Posts: 1560
From: The Beach
Registered: Apr 2009

posted May 17, 2014 01:40 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MoonWitch     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Do not ignore the dark goddess, lest she show her face later in more explosive and unexpected ways.

Although I have nothing against avoiding pointless conflict (I try to do that most of the time), I believe completely repressing or ignoring people, strife, difficult topics, painful situations, etc., is harmful and doesn't do any one any good. Often, it makes things worse. It's the equivalent of an ostrich sticking his head in the sand in order not to deal with life.

Then there are people that feel they absolutely must speak up when they feel strongly about something. When they feel something is unjust. When something doesn't feel right. Telling someone like this to just ignore it or ignore a person they see as corrupt, misleading or insincere can seem completely foreign to them - wrong to the very center of their being. It's one thing to avoid someone at the office you don't care for that much. It's another thing entirely to say nothing when they are standing in your office, in front of your desk - all day - impossible to avoid because they are always there... everywhere... being condescending or passive-aggressive to other co-workers.

I get it. I completely get it. That's why my time here on LL has been limited the past several years. I can only bite my tongue and ignore for so long before I start to feel like a coward or a fraud. It's been really difficult for me because I have really loved this place and I think there are some things worth saving. That is why I sometimes force myself to stay despite the really weird energy, bias and strange dynamics between 'higher ups' that I don't understand no matter how hard I try.

That said... it's easy to not click on a thread by someone you are avoiding (or a topic you don't like). It's not easy to read a thread by someone else and just ignore posts by one person (or a topic you don't like) when there is a conversation going on.

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Ceridwen
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Posts: 12551
From:
Registered: Jul 2011

posted May 17, 2014 01:52 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ceridwen     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have been wondering for a while now. It seems like many people view someone else expressing disagreement as a personal attack.
Why is that?

I mean I can disagree with a certain opinion or mindset or decision or behaviour, but that does not mean I don´t like the person. It doesn`t make the person less valuable and valued, just because I don`t agree with a certain opinion.

That is the one point that puzzles me, and I really wish people could disagree with an opinion or idea or thought, instead of coming across as they condemned the whole person.


---------------------------------

the other point, and that one is a red hot button for me and takes much selfcontrol to not respond, is that I find it horrible that people will state an opinion but claiming it to be the only universal truth and fact, and everyone who disagrees is being treated as a silly child.

Of course everyone is convinced of their opinion and belief (otherwise they wouldn´t have it in the first place), but so is everyone else, and I feel that needs to be respected, the right to form an opinion, even if it is NOT the same as mine.


-------------------------------------


The third point for me has to do with assuming one knows exactly what another person really thinks (implying the person does not know herself at all or is in denial), feels or needs.
Behaviour like this demotes another person, pushes them into a "victim-corner", instead of empowering them and treating them as the equal they are.

It is different of course if the other person asks for assitance and help.
But as long as they don´t, everyone has a right to their "own mistakes".


I think it is totally okay to expreess one`s opinion and possible disagreement, but insisting on it, if the other person is not ready to hear it or the disagreement is too strong, is crossing personal lines in my opinion.

As much as I am picking my friends, I am also picking my therapists for myself.


---------------------------------------

Those are my personal "triggers", and this little paragraph above was just meant as a personal musing, what it really is that annoys me about how these fighting-threads escalate.


Oh a fourth trigger is the "Shut up or I make you shut up"-one.


But anyway, that is of course just my opinion, and others may see it differently, and it is their right to do so, I just beg that my opinion is respected and valued as much as anyone else`s and so need my boundaries.

Just consider this a little rant for myself. An internal clarification process.


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lalalinda
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Posts: 3810
From: nevada
Registered: Apr 2009

posted May 17, 2014 03:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for lalalinda     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ami, To know you is to you

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"For all those who believe, expect a miracle.”
Linda Goodman 1925-1995

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hannaramaa
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Posts: 7250
From:
Registered: Nov 2011

posted May 17, 2014 04:30 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hannaramaa     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by 7thGuardian:
The "[b]let's ignore each other and pretend that everything is fine" type of attitude - is exactly why they are still happening. This worked only when "ignorance was bliss" - but once things became clearer - you either deal with them" to be able to move on" - or you force yourself to ignore them - and they'll keep coming out with every chance they get. Then there's the "suppression" - like closing topics as a way to suppress an unwanted truth - which only makes things worse (since suppression - leads to "resentment").

[/B]


I wasn't thinking "hearts and roses" ignoring someone at all. I don't mean we play nice with people we don't like. I just mean HEY EVERYONE LET'S BE ADULTS AND STOP BAITING EACH OTHER ON AN ONLINE FORUM…BECAUSE WE'RE ADULTS WHO PAY BILLS. kind of thing. It's stupid. Arguing AG's women problems is stupid to me too. Arguing about Ami's passive aggressive problem is stupid because none of it changes. whether your opinion on the matter is known or isn't. It has been going on for months and probably longer, and it's not changing, and I'm tired of so many threads getting de-railed because either side can't drop the "discussion." Maybe avoid was a better word? Ignore. Avoid. Same difference…… I've gone on so long as a member of this forum rarely ever participating in those "hot topics," or getting sucked into it until now. There's so many talented astrologers on this site getting overwhelmed and drowned out and overshadowed by the constant battling.

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Sibyl
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Posts: 811
From: Uranus
Registered: Dec 2010

posted May 17, 2014 04:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Sibyl     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
There comes a time when contention is essential in advancing the soul.

I understand this can be frustrating for those of you who are not there.

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Ami Anne
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Posts: 54665
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted May 17, 2014 05:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I was so touched, Lala. Thank you

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Faith
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Posts: 7416
From:
Registered: Jul 2011

posted May 17, 2014 09:49 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Faith     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
@Sibyl

quote:
Originally posted by Sibyl:
Focused as you are on Ami (you notice each time she misses a step)

Considering your own level of awareness, you of all people must see how many times I have NOT taken the bait? I often scroll right past her comments, as I said.

quote:
Originally posted by Sibyl:
This is a little harsh.

To be clear, I was not saying and nor did I mean to imply that anyone is a freak show. I meant that the site's "family dynamics" and their dysfunctions have a kind of morbid allure, just like a freak show. And often that takes over as the main attraction.

quote:
Originally posted by Sibyl:
You are perhaps not inherently wrong (I can understand you two know each other quite well), but when you come out swinging like an amazon, you're in danger of overdoing it you know?

Oh yes. I am disgusted by my own overkill, whenever that happens, or even when it appears that way to others just because of differences in perspective...even if, in my own reckoning, my words have been relatively mild. I do all I can to not say things I will regret. But sure, that does happen. Sucks.

quote:
Originally posted by Sibyl:
Where are your placements again Faith?

^ Posted my chart and had to rush to take it down under Ami's threat of closing the thread.

-------------

@ Ceri

quote:
Originally posted by Ceridwen:
That is the one point that puzzles me, and I really wish people could disagree with an opinion or idea or thought, instead of coming across as they condemned the whole person.

I just want to "ditto" this. I agree and this is why I have tried to stay away from pejorative terms/name-calling as much as possible.

Sometimes my mind sinks or something, and I do stoop to thinking poorly about a whole person, but usually it's not for long.

I say this in case I have violated my own principles here by accident. I mean to say, I'm not a hardened mudslinger who thinks it's fine to be dismissive about a whole person...I only take issue with behavior... but sometimes I might lapse into confusing the two, if only by being sloppy with my wording. (See my "freak show" blunder above.)

-----------

@ MoonWitch

I don't even know how to thank you for your comment. It just says everything I've been struggling and striving to communicate, right there...for whatever reason it's hard for me to get right to the point like that. So I really, really appreciate your "leg up," bringing the dialogue up to a higher level, where I think it needs to be.

Namaste and thank you so much.


-----------

G'night everyone.

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Ami Anne
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Posts: 54665
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted May 17, 2014 10:06 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Just for the record, Faith and I have no history and were never friends. We exchanged a few e mails when she first came on. However, I am writing to talk about the charts because the charts show everything.

Her Mars conjuncts my mercury and her Moon squares it. My Mercury is my self expression and so that would be why she feels that way about me.

I am feeling there are some other profound asteroids somewhere in this synastry, too, perhaps Nemesis or something else I can't think of right now.

At any rate, I hope we can all move on!

The topic seems to be exhausted.


------------------
Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.


http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/

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Ami Anne
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Posts: 54665
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted May 17, 2014 10:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
As one of the Mods in this Forum, I would really like to wind down this thread. I will leave it open for last comments and then will close it.

------------------
Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.


http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/

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DeepFreeze
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Posts: 1553
From: Pluto with Barbiegirl19
Registered: Nov 2013

posted May 17, 2014 10:37 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for DeepFreeze     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Nevermind... lol

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Faith
Knowflake

Posts: 7416
From:
Registered: Jul 2011

posted May 17, 2014 10:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Faith     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Ami Anne:
Just for the record, Faith and I have no history and were never friends.

LOL
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum24/HTML/212802-2.html
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum24/HTML/212701-9.html
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum27/HTML/000663.html

And much, much more.

You could stop lying to people but why should you, when you know I'm the one who's going to take the blame for "fighting" whenever I correct and draw attention to your blatant dishonesty?

I guess you have no incentive to improve yourself. Sad.

Over and out.

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Ami Anne
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Posts: 54665
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted May 17, 2014 10:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
As everyone knows on here, I reach out to newcomers. As I remember, if I remember right, you were having some problems and I tried to help you as I do any newcomer but I never had a history with you or considered you a friend.

------------------
Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.


http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/

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Ami Anne
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Posts: 54665
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted May 17, 2014 10:46 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
At any right, I think this thread has reached mud slinging proportions and I am going to close it.


------------------
Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.


http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/

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