posted August 31, 2014 04:10 PM            

TuxLuigi noted a most important factor. Meaning / definition of "thicker skin" is individual and has different meaning for most.

T, you know I love the Rumi quote

I choose this one;

posted August 31, 2014 04:38 PM            

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Originally posted by KarkaQueen:
Most of the time developing thick-skin makes you become callous, very fixed to your opinions, abrasive, rough, and less empathetic of others. Then again... that does make you more stronger for you block out other's peoples feelings to affect how you really feel or what you truly want. People are predators out there and when they see a sensitive, sweet-hearted person they manipulate them and use them for their own gratification.

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posted August 31, 2014 04:38 PM            

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Originally posted by T:
What seems like "thick skinned" to some, might actually be a person who sees through certain things and has learned to not let their emotions or other people control them.

I've known some naturally sensitive people who have been surrounded by hurtful people and instead of let that "take them down" and harden their heart - they learn from it and see through to the root of the matter and thus it's impossible that it can hurt them anymore. They aren't hardened, they just understand better now and it no longer effects them.

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Well said! The other comments you made I completely agree with. The reason for developing a thicker skin really drives whether it will ultimately help or hinder us.

@Ami:

posted August 31, 2014 04:41 PM            

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Originally posted by hannaramaa:
Of course there's all different interpretations of what having thick-skin means, however being thick-skinned and mean aren't synonymous. In this context I think they're talking about not letting negativity infect you which has nothing to do with ignoring how others feel. Negativity is more of a thought put into action than a feeling. Having thick-skin is only as proportionate to your understanding and acceptance of human nature.

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posted August 31, 2014 05:17 PM            

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Originally posted by KarkaQueen:
No, I meant this is how some people see it and think it's like that..

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posted August 31, 2014 07:40 PM            

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Originally posted by juniperb:
Excellent insights!

TuxLuigi noted a most important factor. Meaning / definition of "thicker skin" is individual and has different meaning for most.

T, you know I love the Rumi quote

I choose this one;

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I keep falling short here, but I re-read part of the chapter for my NN in Astrology for the Soul, and I apparently do what comes naturally there - I become a hermit for a little while, to reorient my feelings, and stabilize.

With the thicker skin and abrasiveness, it hurts me as much it might hurt anyone else - and it happened because others were abrasive and extremely hurtful with me. Once I've had so many encounters in that way, I need to back off - it hurts like hell, leaves me feeling worthless, and then at some point, I will think about the person, what their motives might be, whether or not they're aware of their own behaviour, and so on. Sometimes, it reflects something back at me, but not always.

posted August 31, 2014 07:44 PM            

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Originally posted by TuxLuigi:

Edit:
Maybe I see it this way because "grow a thicker skin", "stop whining" and "stop being a pansy" all sound synonymous to me and all come off as a personal insult to my sensitivity.

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Yes. Right now, I'm picturing it like a scab - something protecting sore skin that *needs* protection, in order to heal, but touch it the wrong way, and you will still feel one hell of a sting.

I can feel all self-righteous, and firey, but that's still a reaction - it's still a need to let someone see or know something.

posted August 31, 2014 08:39 PM            

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Originally posted by teasel:
Okay, this is over-sensitive me, but I don't like being yelled at by the board text, when I deal with an internet error, then try to post. I've been met with something like, [b]"You haven't filled out all of the required fields!" several times now, and it throws me. [/B]

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posted September 01, 2014 02:32 PM            

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Originally posted by juniperb:

TuxLuigi noted a most important factor. Meaning / definition of "thicker skin" is individual and has different meaning for most.

T, you know I love the Rumi quote

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I thought of you when I posted it.

& yes, good point.

it seems we all think of being thick-skinned a bit differently. My idea of it is more along the lines of someone who is not easily offended or affected by criticism etc. from others. Rather than it's other meaning: insensitive or hardened to criticism; obtuse; callous.

and i was talking about it referring to people that are unaffected not because they are uncaring, insensitive or have become hardened but because they have done work on themselves and understand why people often do what they do. It's also about knowing yourself well. To the point where people's opinions really just no longer affect you much. What can appear to some as a hardening is actually a softening. The opinions, good or bad, don't affect you anymore.

posted September 01, 2014 02:34 PM            

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Originally posted by BellaFenice:
Well said! The other comments you made I completely agree with. The reason for developing a thicker skin really drives whether it will ultimately help or hinder us.

@Ami:

BTW, the wisdom comment on the 1st page was messy. Lets respect everyone's opinion: the fact you made that comment shows a consequence of developing too much of a thicker skin- only wanting to hear the advice you want to hear.

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posted September 01, 2014 02:36 PM            

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Originally posted by teasel:
Okay, this is over-sensitive me, but I don't like being yelled at by the board text, when I deal with an internet error, then try to post. I've been met with something like, [b]"You haven't filled out all of the required fields!" several times now, and it throws me. [/B]

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posted September 01, 2014 08:08 PM            

Hah AA! I was in sales for years, my skin is so thick I have callouses on my stomach..lol