posted November 13, 2015 07:30 AM            

This guy at work is one of the laziest, grumpy people that I've come across.
So the other day I wrote up a work request and left it on his desk. It turns out that he threw it in the trash. I don't think he knows that I know.
So now, I have a stack of blank work request forms in my toolbox. I'm writing one up for every little thing that I'd normally look past that requires him. I'm entering them electronically and sending the hard copy through all of the proper channels. If he thinks it's going to let up, heck no.
Bro could have just done one thing but no.
Ok then, we'll go down this road instead and see how he likes that.

posted November 15, 2015 12:21 PM            

I feel blessed that my family, myself and my close ones are all safe and sound, especially following the recent events in France. Yesterday when my mother left home to go out, I realized how much I love her and how much I want her to be safe and well. That was refreshing given our tumultuous (past) relationship.

I am glad that I am getting along better with her now. We barely argue and she seems a lot calmer and less volatile than a few years ago... Which is really, really good.

I am thankful that I still have the ability to withstand emotional storms and mental loops, and physical ailments, despite sometimes feeling like it's all hopeless. It's not easy but I'm not giving up, despite all the setbacks. I always get back up... even if slowly.
I feel like my life is going to get better as I grow older and more mature; I am slowly learning how to be a decent human being and feel okay with myself and other people. Accepting my own flaws and those of others, for we are only human.

I am glad that there are times when I feel truly connected to my brothers and sisters in Spirit, even if I don't know them personally or intimately. We're all a big family and the hatred that used to define me is slowly fading away... and being replaced with acceptance, or at the very least neutrality (although it's a work in progress, and I have my bad days). As I am learning to accept myself, I am also learning to accept others.

I try not to blame myself for feeling so-called "bad" feelings, or having dark thoughts... I am opening up to the notion that it's okay - and possible, even natural - to be a dual being. It's okay to feel anger, hatred or despair sometimes, and it doesn't mean I'm a bad person or that I am incapable of compassion or positivity, or that I am failing in my "mission" to be a spiritual, enlightened human being.

Mistakes are okay... They are a part of life, and I am so very glad I am finally learning to loosen up and not hold myself (and others) to such high standards.

Also, there are moments where I actually find myself pretty good-looking, despite being aware of all my physical flaws... Hopefully those moments will increase in frequency and magnitude, but again, I am taking it slow and accept it when I feel like I am ugly or beyond repair, etc.

It's all okay. I am alive and my soul is indestructible... regardless of what happens to my body or mind.
I feel more grounded despite the stress I often feel... I have hope for my future, and the future in general.

posted November 15, 2015 12:39 PM            

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posted November 16, 2015 11:40 AM            

I see you really willing to reveal yourself. That is an important step in healing. Most of our problems is the SHAME that we are different. When we are real, we see that we are not that different from others. Deep healing comes, not that I am that great because I am not lol

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posted November 16, 2015 07:41 PM            

Lately I've really been wanting to tap into my (Scorpio) Mars energy, combined with my Sag NN (they're conjunct but out of sign).

I can feel a quiet yet deep desire to finally "wake up" from the apathy and passivity I've held for so long.

When I was a child, I used to feel - and express - my Mars energy much more freely; I was a very active, even volatile kid. Then I shut down and it's like that part of me got lost forever... But I don't want it to remain lost.

I'm not sure how I'm going to get in touch with it yet (that dynamic energy) but the will is there... (and I have some ideas as to what could help). I am willing to wait for the right moment to take that opportunity and start really working for it, slowly building a solid foundation that I so deeply desire and need.

posted November 18, 2015 04:10 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Doux Rêve:
^ Hopefully that'll teach him a lesson... Good luck! (And hey, it's not illegal, right? So... )
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posted November 20, 2015 03:47 PM            

For me, and maybe for you, a sense of numbness can come from too much trauma.

You live in a foggy blanket.

Hence, you are not quite in your body and you don't really FEEL what is happening inside or outside of you.

That happened to me.

It may have happened to you.

The mind /body shuts down to protect the person.

It is a defense mechanism that happens subconsciously.

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posted December 15, 2015 03:53 PM            

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