posted November 25, 2014 07:09 AM            

What gets me the most is that to be “black” in the black community and in the world at large is to be a Man.

Why is it that over and over only stories of violence against black men and boys are featured? Why aren't there any riots for Renisha Mcbride, Tanesha Anderson, and the many other countless black girls and women killed and harmed every other day? Where was the outrage when a black mother of 3 was shot after saying no to a mans advances?

Where is the outrage then? Where are the black men and women on the streets rioting for their little girls? Why is everyone so silent about these issues and yet we constantly remind black women to think of our “brothers, sons, and fathers” and yet never ask our men to think of their “daughters, sisters, and mothers” when these same women are the MAJORITY on the front lines every time fighting in these riots. Not to mention so many of these women were locked up and in some cases killed and yet everyone is silent.

This just irritates me. There’s no reciprocity and it doesn't even take a blind man to see it. While I’m truly sad for Brown’s family, you WILL NOT see me marching for a community that truly DOES NOT care whether I live or die. Will there be silence for me too if I'm gone?

Is "Black Power" not for little black girls and women too?

And also let's not forget to mention the lack of "outrage" and the abundance of silence when it comes to black on black violence.

posted November 25, 2014 07:45 AM            

------------------
Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.

posted November 25, 2014 09:55 AM            

"There is no substantive, policy-focused or data-driven public debate on the impact of domestic violence on black women and its devastating impact on our larger African-American community. Instead we have confused onlookers by blaming victims. As a society—and as a community—we foolishly pass on opportunities to know more about the abused black women who die at three times the rate of their white counterparts, or the 30 percent of sisters overall who have suffered violence at the hands of intimate partners, according to the Violence Policy Center.

Rarely do women of color, who serve more time for self-defense, see justice, and rarely do we hear our elected officials talk about it unless pushed by tragedies that capture headlines. In the meantime, we’re happily venerating celebs like Chris Brown onstage and Ray Rice on the field, and yet we’re not taking time to reflect on, study and truly recognize the broader destruction to our women, families and children. Sadly, we’re not forcing that conversation. And if we’re not, we shouldn’t expect the rest of the world to, either." http://www.theroot.com/articles/culture/2014/07/why_ray_rice_s_domestic_violence_suspension_was_so_light.html

posted November 25, 2014 10:09 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by ariestaurus:
You have a really good point there... I really don't see protests against violence against black women, even from within the black community! It's really shocking and wrong.

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posted November 25, 2014 12:30 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by ariestaurus:
You have a really good point there... I really don't see protests against violence against black women, even from within the black community! It's really shocking and wrong.

"There is no substantive, policy-focused or data-driven public debate on the impact of domestic violence on black women and its devastating impact on our larger African-American community. Instead we have confused onlookers by blaming victims. As a society—and as a community—we foolishly pass on opportunities to know more about the abused black women who die at three times the rate of their white counterparts, or the 30 percent of sisters overall who have suffered violence at the hands of intimate partners, according to the Violence Policy Center.

Rarely do women of color, who serve more time for self-defense, see justice, and rarely do we hear our elected officials talk about it unless pushed by tragedies that capture headlines. In the meantime, we’re happily venerating celebs like Chris Brown onstage and Ray Rice on the field, and yet we’re not taking time to reflect on, study and truly recognize the broader destruction to our women, families and children. Sadly, we’re not forcing that conversation. And if we’re not, we shouldn’t expect the rest of the world to, either." http://www.theroot.com/articles/culture/2014/07/why_ray_rice_s_do mestic_violence_suspension_was_so_light.html

http://www.thenation.com/blog/176545/normalization-violence-against-black-women#

---

And all today I see posts claiming "Black Lives Matter" and yet the pictures and articles of black people killed by the police are all men..

I even posted an article with more than a dozen black women killed by the police in the past few years and it barely got any attention/acknowledgment. I feel like I'm living in a twilight zone.

posted November 25, 2014 12:55 PM            

I'm not sure there is anything I can say to make you feel better, but just know that I understand what you mean and will continue to advocate for knowledge to dispel systemic racism.

posted November 25, 2014 01:30 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by BellaFenice:
Chiemi, I have been thinking about this the last couple of months when the UVA girl went missing and how African-African women never receive the same treatment when crimes are committed against them.

I'm not sure there is anything I can say to make you feel better, but just know that I understand what you mean and will continue to advocate for knowledge to dispel systemic racism.

P.S.- Don't worry about people being "offended," this is the sad truth many blind their eyes to.

---

posted November 25, 2014 01:38 PM            

The subjugation of black women is not a myth or a thing of the past, just because it isn't always physical doesn't mean it doesn't exist on a conceptual or ideological level.

posted November 25, 2014 02:27 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by BellaFenice:
Chiemi, I have been thinking about this the last couple of months when the UVA girl went missing and how African-African women never receive the same treatment when crimes are committed against them.

I'm not sure there is anything I can say to make you feel better, but just know that I understand what you mean and will continue to advocate for knowledge to dispel systemic racism.

P.S.- Don't worry about people being "offended," this is the sad truth many blind their eyes to.

---

posted November 25, 2014 02:32 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by PisceanDream:
It's all a very sick and twisted chain of how agency is perceived and ascribed, sociopolitically. Of course, the black female is at the very bottom. All you can do is continue to be a critical thinker, to promote and speak your ideas, to constantly raise awareness to the issue.

The subjugation of black women is not a myth or a thing of the past, just because it isn't always physical doesn't mean it doesn't exist on a conceptual or ideological level.

"If we can't see it, then it's not there". Maybe that's why there's a clear cut distinction between sight and insight.

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posted November 25, 2014 02:38 PM            

It is harder than if you are in the mainstream--WASP.

Everywhere you turn, you can see hate toward.
you.

It can get inside you and hurt you very deeply.

However, for me, the answer is that God loves me soooo much and he loves everyone so much.

MAN makes the distinctions and they are really BS lol

------------------
Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.

posted November 25, 2014 02:44 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Chiemi,
I get what you are saying and you do kind of have a point. IMO it's no different than what you see with white americans. People are more likely to raise h*ll if a white girl is hurt than they would be if it was a white boy. Having said all of that I really do feel for black people,especially young black men. Reason I say "especially young black men" is because they do get harassed by the cops more than anyone else. One of my jobs is being a security guard and my uniform looks almost identical to the ones local cops wear. I probably don't even need to tell you that black men look terrified when they see me in my uniform. They have an automatic fear response when they see cops or anyone they perceive as having authority.

---

I tried to hold out hope for your post after I saw the beginning remark of what you wrote, but it's clear that you did not understand nor try to comprehend my post.

The fact that you already started to compare and marginalize my experiences to that of white men and black men does not show that you "get" what I said.

Do not say that you understand me if all that you have taken from my post is how "xyz" have it hard/harder too. I am not here and I did not write this post to be gaslighted or to speak on those concerns. I as a Black WOMAN who lives and breathes this existence since birth wrote this experience so that others can just LISTEN, bring awareness to, and understand the pain of having barely ANYONE stick up and care for your rights to live as a human being. I did not write this for you to basically just tell me to "suck it up" or for you to divert the attention of this issue at hand.

Please spare me by not commenting further on my post if you do not have anything productive to add to the conversation. You can make a thread about the unfair mistreatment of white and black men compared to their female counterparts somewhere else, but this is not the thread for that.

posted November 25, 2014 03:17 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by BellaFenice:
Chiemi, I have been thinking about this the last couple of months when the UVA girl went missing and how African-African women never receive the same treatment when crimes are committed against them.

I'm not sure there is anything I can say to make you feel better, but just know that I understand what you mean and will continue to advocate for knowledge to dispel systemic racism.

P.S.- Don't worry about people being "offended," this is the sad truth many blind their eyes to.

---

posted November 25, 2014 04:19 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Chiemi:
Just a Mini Vent/Rant (not sorry if you're "offended")

What gets me the most is that to be “black” in the black community and in the world at large is to be a Man.

Why is it that over and over only stories of violence against black men and boys are featured? Why aren't there any riots for Renisha Mcbride, Tanesha Anderson, and the many other countless black girls and women killed and harmed every other day? Where was the outrage when a black mother of 3 was shot after saying no to a mans advances?

Where is the outrage then? Where are the black men and women on the streets rioting for their little girls? Why is everyone so silent about these issues and yet we constantly remind black women to think of our “brothers, sons, and fathers” and yet never ask our men to think of their “daughters, sisters, and mothers” when these same women are the MAJORITY on the front lines every time fighting in these riots. Not to mention so many of these women were locked up and in some cases killed and yet everyone is silent.

This just irritates me. There’s no reciprocity and it doesn't even take a blind man to see it. While I’m truly sad for Brown’s family, you WILL NOT see me marching for a community that truly DOES NOT care whether I live or die. Will there be silence for me too if I'm gone?

Is "Black Power" not for little black girls and women too?

And also let's not forget to mention the lack of "outrage" and the abundance of silence when it comes to black on black violence.

/Rant over. I'll probably delete this later, just needed to get this off my chest.

---

I am giving you a standing ovation.
I feel the exact same way. Thank you for this xxx

posted November 25, 2014 04:51 PM            

------------------
Want To Ask Any Question About Bible Prophecy? Go For it. It is Free, of course.

posted November 25, 2014 06:42 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Chiemi:
Exactly, and I have and will continue to do so. While I have found some minor groups that get this and fully advocate to change this issue, it still gets to me how my own community and the world at large seems to care so little because someone is Black AND a Woman (aka being a "double negative").

---

+1

And it is this lack of care that can lead to self-hate sadly. People then deny their roots and race, and instill the negative experiences and beliefs of the group and project self-hate onto their community. So not only are you up against your own community, but your fellow women as well. I just read some self-hating comments regarding race and it literally made my skin crawl by how warped and conditioned this woman become due to societal standards.

posted November 25, 2014 07:50 PM            

She told me she was used to it. What's really weird to me is that she's gotten flack for being TOO dark before (shades of the paper bag parties) as well as for being an "oreo" (black on the outside, white on the inside, simply for being smart and different as well as on the quiet side--no wonder with all the hostility she got growing up--and even her penny pinching sister splurged on Oreos once just to offer them to her as an insult).

'Course there's worse. She once had me and a childhood friend of hers go with her (in part to play bodyguard) on her last visit with her family to get the last of her things. Though not menacing, her family was racist to both of us (that is those who came with her) in addition to giving her a bad time over having us as friends (I refrained from pointing out that's because we're actually friends worth having). A happy moment in her life was when she left that time and just knew she was never going back...she was free.

'Course she still takes a lot of crap for being a black woman, though most of it is subtle.

And by coincidence (that is nothing to do with Ferguson, it came up a different way) she was explaining her experience and that of her friend at the time (her other "bodyguard" when she got the last of her things from home) in the LA riots (both girls were 11), and it sounded terrifying, and made me glad that for all I endured at times, that was an experience I missed. And her friend is blasian and when she went to her Korean American step family for comfort they hit her...for being one of THEM. She didn't eat anything in 2 days because she spent as much time as possible hiding from her own family as well as scared of what was going on outside. And by then an uncle had already broken the child's arm, because they didn't like her mother (who was not of Korean descent though she was Far East Asian descent--they were also offended at having to classify themselves as Asian American on American forms when there were plenty of other Asian Americans they didn't want to be associated with) but they hated her even more for having had a black father. I don't know why it still amazes me how self-righteous people can be even as they break a little girl's arm and heap all other types of abuse on her. (Of course she was reviled by the black community as well, at least until she became a prize athlete of the school, and kicked a few butts along the way.)

posted November 25, 2014 11:30 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Chiemi:
Just a Mini Vent/Rant (not sorry if you're "offended")

What gets me the most is that to be “black” in the black community and in the world at large is to be a Man.

Why is it that over and over only stories of violence against black men and boys are featured? Why aren't there any riots for Renisha Mcbride, Tanesha Anderson, and the many other countless black girls and women killed and harmed every other day? Where was the outrage when a black mother of 3 was shot after saying no to a mans advances?

Where is the outrage then? Where are the black men and women on the streets rioting for their little girls? Why is everyone so silent about these issues and yet we constantly remind black women to think of our “brothers, sons, and fathers” and yet never ask our men to think of their “daughters, sisters, and mothers” when these same women are the MAJORITY on the front lines every time fighting in these riots. Not to mention so many of these women were locked up and in some cases killed and yet everyone is silent.

This just irritates me. There’s no reciprocity and it doesn't even take a blind man to see it. While I’m truly sad for Brown’s family, you WILL NOT see me marching for a community that truly DOES NOT care whether I live or die. Will there be silence for me too if I'm gone?

Is "Black Power" not for little black girls and women too?

And also let's not forget to mention the lack of "outrage" and the abundance of silence when it comes to black on black violence.

/Rant over. I'll probably delete this later, just needed to get this off my chest.

---

posted November 25, 2014 11:36 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by ariestaurus:
I remember seeing a documentary about this! They were showing how police officers call off searches for black women much, MUCH earlier than they do for persons of other races. They'll pass off these cases as 'runaways' and often conclude these women have simply run off with their boyfriends or something. In other words, they don't care enough to do a thorough investigation.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2088428/The-shocking--forgot ten--toll-missing-black-women-U-S.html

---

This is just sick, and people get away with this too because nobody (especially the men) fight gainst this.

I even read an article not too long ago about a cop specifically targeting and sexually assaulting black women and did anyone make a fuss? Nope. http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2014/aug/31/okla-cop-charged-raping-8-black-women-naacp-seeks-/

posted November 25, 2014 11:37 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by ikja:
I am giving you a standing ovation.
I feel the exact same way. Thank you for this xxx

---

posted November 26, 2014 12:06 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by BellaFenice:
+1

And it is this lack of care that can lead to self-hate sadly. People then deny their roots and race, and instill the negative experiences and beliefs of the group and project self-hate onto their community. So not only are you up against your own community, but your fellow women as well. I just read some self-hating comments regarding race and it literally made my skin crawl by how warped and conditioned this woman become due to societal standards.

It actually is pretty vile when you think of how terribly the media portrays Black women (i.e., the angry Black women) to an extreme extent. Yet, when disparities arise, it all of a sudden becomes silent. This is what needs to change. Why is there such a jarring disconnect here?

---

Yes yes and yes. It's so bad that many black women are basically so male identified/centered that they too share the same ingrained beliefs that their lives and other black women's lives aren't worth a penny. In the groups that I am in that highlight and advocate these issues there are actually both black men and WOMEN who argue against pointing out this dysfunctional hate against black women and even in one case threatened to shut the page down because it was "bashing black men"... yet these same women held no comments on articles featured of black girls and women that were abused (regardless of the race of the abuser).

Take the fact that there are so many videos of women being beat and slapped around by men and yet in the comments rather than being appalled at the footage, many Black women also chime in on how "that Black girl deserved it because she shouldn't have xyz." And let's not also forget that many of these women also share memes of Black Women in conditions that further portray stereotypes and make fun of us Ex:
- pictures of Black girls with short hair that portray how we can't grow our hair
- pictures of Black girls with colorful make-up to show how we are "fake" and "clowns"
- pictures of Black girls that are overweight/obese to show that we are all fat and unhealthy
And the list goes on...
Heck, just do a quick google search and you'll also find numerous videos of black men talking about how Black Women are so undesirable because of xyz AND YET some Black Women will flock to these videos AGREEING because they somehow "think" that while they may not fit the profile of the women that they are bashing (i.e. the stereotypical "loud black woman", "weave wearing/can't be in water women", "baby mama drama women") they are STILL bashing their own women and their very own "sisters, daughters, and mothers".

I also find it interesting that in the majority of these memes, the women portrayed are usually of a darker skin tone which also speaks VOLUMES about the issue of colorism within the Black community (which is another can of worms nobody wants to discuss/acknowledge that it exists).

The Black community and the world loves to showcase images of stereotypical Black Women (i.e. ghetto/loud/angry/mammies/over-weight) but is astonishingly silent and/or even fight to diminish on bringing attention to the black women who defeat this stereotype ESPECIALLY if she is of a darker skin tone.

posted November 26, 2014 12:26 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by PixieJane:
I recently went to Texas with my BFF who is black, and she got called the n word...by a black man. And nothing friendly about it, he had come onto her (and obviously been drinking on a Sunday morning) and as she looked uncomfortable I went next to her and introduced myself. He told me to move along, "we" (him and my best friend) were talking so my BFF tells him that she's with me, she's from California, and we're going to see my family. That's when he cursed her and threw in a racial epithet to boot.

She told me she was used to it. What's really weird to me is that she's gotten flack for being TOO dark before (shades of the paper bag parties) as well as for being an "oreo" (black on the outside, white on the inside, simply for being smart and different as well as on the quiet side--no wonder with all the hostility she got growing up--and even her penny pinching sister splurged on Oreos once just to offer them to her as an insult).

'Course there's worse. She once had me and a childhood friend of hers go with her (in part to play bodyguard) on her last visit with her family to get the last of her things. Though not menacing, her family was racist to both of us (that is those who came with her) in addition to giving her a bad time over having us as friends (I refrained from pointing out that's because we're actually friends worth having). A happy moment in her life was when she left that time and just knew she was never going back...she was free.

'Course she still takes a lot of crap for being a black woman, though most of it is subtle.

And by coincidence (that is nothing to do with Ferguson, it came up a different way) she was explaining her experience and that of her friend at the time (her other "bodyguard" when she got the last of her things from home) in the LA riots (both girls were 11), and it sounded terrifying, and made me glad that for all I endured at times, that was an experience I missed. And her friend is blasian and when she went to her Korean American step family for comfort they hit her...for being one of THEM. She didn't eat anything in 2 days because she spent as much time as possible hiding from her own family as well as scared of what was going on outside. And by then an uncle had already broken the child's arm, because they didn't like her mother (who was not of Korean descent though she was Far East Asian descent--they were also offended at having to classify themselves as Asian American on American forms when there were plenty of other Asian Americans they didn't want to be associated with) but they hated her even more for having had a black father. I don't know why it still amazes me how self-righteous people can be even as they break a little girl's arm and heap all other types of abuse on her. (Of course she was reviled by the black community as well, at least until she became a prize athlete of the school, and kicked a few butts along the way.)

Such a vicious circle we live in. Generally speaking we as a species know the difference between right and wrong and yet we insist on living wrong...and don't want anyone to call us on it. Too bad that karma is blind.

---

I'm sadly not surprised at this at all. The mother of 3 who I mentioned above in my first post was shot by a Black Man in the head for turning down his advances (because she was engaged). And you know what's sad? Is that rather than people having sympathy and feeling outrage at the crime that happened, people were questioning how good of a "mother" she was to be out anyways with 3 kids, or why she didn't "just say hi", etc. Another violent instance also happened like this (and I'm sure there are dozens more) where a Black man threw a bowling ball at a Black Womans head for turning down a drink, and yet the comments still reflected the same sentiments of how she just should have "said hi"/"let him buy her a drink".

posted November 26, 2014 12:37 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Lexxigramer:
[QUOTE]Excellent rant. Sad but well said. Thank you for posting this.

---