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Author
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Topic: Do You Think You Can Have The Sweet Friendships of Youth as You Get Older?
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Ami Anne
Knowflake Posts: 74285
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted December 08, 2016 11:14 AM
  
Been thinking about the wonderful best friends I had up through college. I could never duplicate that again. Is it just growing older or life?------------------
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IP: Logged |
teasel
Knowflake Posts: 29264
From: Here
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 08, 2016 01:26 PM
I think you can, but it isn't exactly the same. It's a different phase of life, with different responsibilities and expectations. I miss the optimism, and feeling like anything was possible - having your whole life ahead of you.IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Knowflake Posts: 74285
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted December 08, 2016 02:03 PM
It seems like you can't fight and make up when you get older like you could when you were young.I was watching Wonder Years reruns and Kevin and Paul would get in a fight and make up. I had such great best friends in my life but not after college. ------------------
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IP: Logged |
teasel
Knowflake Posts: 29264
From: Here
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 08, 2016 02:36 PM
I'm pretty good at making up - even now - but it's more difficult when you've really been put through the wringer. I still have a visceral reaction to certain people/things. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Knowflake Posts: 74285
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted December 08, 2016 02:48 PM
It is hard to trust when you get older and there are, often, bigger stakes. Someone close to me wanted to borrow money. He felt he was "owed" him and I did not feel right about it, so said no. You don't have that as children, so maybe, friendships can not be innocent anymore. I don't know lol------------------
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IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Knowflake Posts: 74285
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted December 08, 2016 02:50 PM
Lately, I have been very proud of myself by trying to turn people who were nasty to me into friends. I did it with one girl and it was very sweet. You have to have WISDOM cuz sometimes, it is foolish to try and other times, it is wise lol------------------
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Ami Anne
Knowflake Posts: 74285
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted December 08, 2016 02:51 PM
How do you kill an enemy? Make him a friend. It is very true but you really need wisdom or you could get a worse enemy  ------------------
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IP: Logged |
teasel
Knowflake Posts: 29264
From: Here
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 08, 2016 03:58 PM
I don't really think of people as enemies. It's rare. I've been very disappointed in recent years, myself, and in the past. I could really go into this, but my mind isn't in the same zone that it was this morning. It was really clear to me when I woke up, and was just laying there, thinking about things. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Knowflake Posts: 74285
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted December 08, 2016 06:23 PM
When I first got on LL, about 7 years ago, I thought everyone could be made a friend, but I don't think that now. I think there are people who are really evil. If s person falls in this category, one cannot get close to them. The WISDOM is in the discerning. I think I am pretty good at it and I really, really try to make peace with people, but for some people, it is hopeless. I am sad to say that but it is true.------------------
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IP: Logged |
teasel
Knowflake Posts: 29264
From: Here
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 08, 2016 06:50 PM
Who?? I've felt that at times, but if you give it time, and aren't defensive, others won't be defensive, some sort of progress can be made. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Knowflake Posts: 74285
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted December 08, 2016 09:02 PM
quote:
Originally posted by teasel:
Who?? I've felt that at times, but if you give it time, and aren't defensive, others won't be defensive, some sort of progress can be made.
I can't name names lol but it is foolish to trust some people and others one has to reach out to, like I would like to reach out to you. In my heart, I feel you are cool and you are someone worth reaching out to, but it is foolish to do this with no discernment of individuals. This is 7 years worth of lessons and I feel so immature cuz this one lesson took me 7 years so I need to live to be 1000 to get mildly mature  ------------------
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IP: Logged |
teasel
Knowflake Posts: 29264
From: Here
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 07, 2021 03:51 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Ami Anne:
I can't name names lol but it is foolish to trust some people and others one has to reach out to, like I would like to reach out to you. In my heart, I feel you are cool and you are someone worth reaching out to, but it is foolish to do this with no discernment of individuals. This is 7 years worth of lessons and I feel so immature cuz this one lesson took me 7 years so I need to live to be 1000 to get mildly mature
I didn’t see this. Why didn’t you feel like you could reach out to me? We were friends. IP: Logged |
teasel
Knowflake Posts: 29264
From: Here
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 08, 2021 02:06 PM
Bumping. I was your friend, even when others had an issue with you, Ami. You ditched me, because of politics. You could have talked to me at any time. And this whole thread, was an example of people being friends, then not so much, but it wasn’t the end of the world. We could still talk. I really like this thread, Ami. IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 195965
From: I hold a Juris Doctorate (J.D.) and a Legum Magister (LL.M.)!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted May 12, 2021 07:00 PM
A friend today could be an enemy tomorrow. Tread carefully.IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Knowflake Posts: 74285
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted May 12, 2021 08:24 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Randall:
A friend today could be an enemy tomorrow. Tread carefully.
Yep, I was thinking about this today. I read a lot of Tudor history. Thomas Cromwell had so many friends when he was doing well and very few when he went down. However, on a more personal note. There are some awful truths in life and one is that one must be careful in all of one's relationships. You, as a Capricorn, Randall, have a natural wisdom, although I know some Cappys that don't, so maybe it is just you!
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IP: Logged |
Belage
Knowflake Posts: 7291
From: USA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted May 14, 2021 10:51 AM
I have had good friends throughout all the seasons of my life. And pretty sure i will continue to until I drop dead. Sometimes i outgrow a friendship, and when that happens, I try to let it go gracefully. I don't have extraordinary expectations of friendship. I don't borrow money from friends, or expect them to back me up when I know I am in the wrong. Though if I know I am right, I appreciate their support. IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 195965
From: I hold a Juris Doctorate (J.D.) and a Legum Magister (LL.M.)!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted May 14, 2021 03:39 PM
Extra Cappy equals extra wisdom.IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 195965
From: I hold a Juris Doctorate (J.D.) and a Legum Magister (LL.M.)!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted May 28, 2021 07:40 PM
Bump!IP: Logged |
Stawr
Moderator Posts: 9323
From: N. America
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted May 29, 2021 10:09 AM
With me I can be out of touch with someone for a while...and reconnect. I reconnected with a friend from preschool/elementary, when I graduated HS now we are besties. I feel like in most cases the other friend will understand. Jobs, college, romantic relationships, kids, family. I think the only way it would be hard would be if you are in the same environment with them...and they stop giving you the time of day. When that happens then it's a problem. This mostly happens in high school I will say.
I've had friends do this, I've done this. Sometimes we can forgive each other and reconnect. I was super close with a girl when I was little. Sometimes as we got older I would feel ditched sometimes. I would be cold to her if she wanted to talk to me after.
But then in our 20's we started hanging out at parties. While we aren't as close as we use to be it was happy that I could socialize with someone I've known since I was 3. I haven't seen her in 6 years but I got invited to her graduation party for becoming a police woman next month. I plan on going for a bit. There is just something about reconnecting with an old friend that restores my faith in humanity. I definitely do have sweet friendships in my 30's. IP: Logged |
teasel
Knowflake Posts: 29264
From: Here
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted May 29, 2021 03:48 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Randall:
A friend today could be an enemy tomorrow. Tread carefully.
Edited. never mind. I'm just not in the mood.IP: Logged |
teasel
Knowflake Posts: 29264
From: Here
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted May 29, 2021 03:49 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Randall:
Extra Cappy equals extra wisdom.
I don't think you need to be a capricorn, to be wise. IP: Logged |
teasel
Knowflake Posts: 29264
From: Here
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted May 29, 2021 04:10 PM
.IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 195965
From: I hold a Juris Doctorate (J.D.) and a Legum Magister (LL.M.)!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 04, 2021 05:04 PM
Not in my experience.IP: Logged |
Stawr
Moderator Posts: 9323
From: N. America
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted June 04, 2021 09:54 PM
From an astrology perspective
I have 11th house Sun w/ good and bad aspects. I've had all time highs and lows in this department.
I also have 3 things in Aquarius (sun, n. node, MC)
Very Uranian dominant (along w/ pluto and mars in my big 3) Plus through most of my 20's Uranus was transiting my 11th house. And recently Neptune has started transiting my 11th house in my 30's. I need a lot of freedom in my friendships. I can have a few very good friends that I consider like a best friend. But if somebody wants to do the whole salt and pepper, pb and j, constant contact I will run.
I need people who respect that I have a family, fiancé, work life, other friends, errands, appointments, a spiritual life, and I need to spend time with just myself too. I love when I can go a long time with out seeing someone and we can pick up where we left off. I am kind of getting my social groove back. After a rough couple of years as a new teacher and college work. Plus that one girl blowing up my phone so much! It was draining!
I will sometimes tell my fiancé "I kind of feel bad for not inviting them to the wedding." then fiancé will say "no you don't" and then I'll laugh.
Stawr:"I kind of just don't want to hang out with them anymore I feel bad saying that.
Fiance: No you don't Tomorrow I am seeing my friend I haven't socialized with in 6 years.
IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 195965
From: I hold a Juris Doctorate (J.D.) and a Legum Magister (LL.M.)!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 06, 2021 09:53 AM
Bump!IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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