posted December 15, 2020 02:18 PM            

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Originally posted by Graham:
I understand, and will respect, your view on what is and is not helping someone ... but have learned from experience to fundamentally disagree with it.

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I appreciate that. Not saying you are right or wrong Graham, and in real life I could be saying something completely different, but this is about managing this forum in a way that it embodies what it sets out to do.

On the subject of lacking self-awareness, I know many times when I had been sabotaging myself, I had to realise it in my own way. Someone telling me would not have changed anything, self-awareness in my experience is a process initiated from within when you are in a certain frame of mind.

Just to reiterate, I know you were well-intended.

posted December 15, 2020 02:20 PM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
I apologise for getting angry and being harsh yesterday, but after sleeping on it I still think Vansio was out of line when she immediately played the "toxic masculinity" card. Seriously, that is BS and very disrespectful. Labeling any man's negative feelings as toxic masculinity isn't coming from a place of empathy or curiosity. It comes from a place of misandry.

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I can see how that would be upsetting. We can sometimes be too quick to put labels on things I think. I guess it helps organise our thoughts more neatly, however labels tend to dilute and minimise an experience - experience is rarely that simple.

posted December 15, 2020 03:04 PM            

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Originally posted by Voix_de_la_Mer:
I can see how that would be upsetting. We can sometimes be too quick to put labels on things I think. I guess it helps organise our thoughts more neatly, however labels tend to dilute and minimise an experience - experience is rarely that simple.

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Teasel provided even more evidence for that. She showed all these articles about how women are afraid of men. That is considered "normal" in the West, but not in other places. I have met enough older American women and non-Western women to know that women hating and being afraid of men is abnormal. Our culture is $h!t and most people don't even realize it. I was supposed to already be out of this sh*thole country, but this plandemic ruined my plans.

posted December 15, 2020 05:13 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
I apologise for getting angry and being harsh yesterday, but after sleeping on it I still think Vansio was out of line when she immediately played the "toxic masculinity" card. Seriously, that is BS and very disrespectful. Labeling any man's negative feelings as toxic masculinity isn't coming from a place of empathy or curiosity. It comes from a place of misandry.

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posted December 15, 2020 05:36 PM            

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Originally posted by Graham:
Don't focus upon where the feedback comes from, nor upon whether it is/is not well-intended. ... Just reflect upon it objectively, and allow the "still, small voice within" to tell you what action to take.

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posted December 16, 2020 02:21 AM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Again, what I said yesterday still stands. Don't push it.

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OK ... since "no one is too Lost to be Found"... perhaps it is time now for both of us to "just Go And Smell A Rose...or Sweet Peas In The Rain".

posted December 16, 2020 05:16 AM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:

A lot of people on this forum have accused me of being a misogynist. I'm not a misogynist. I love women who are sweet and have feminine grace. The sad truth is a lot of Western young women are not good people. And what's even sadder is it's not their fault. They have been conditioned to hate men from an early age. Just look at all these crime tv series that young women are obsessed with.

Teasel provided even more evidence for that. She showed all these articles about how women are afraid of men. That is considered "normal" in the West, but not in other places. I have met enough older American women and non-Western women to know that women hating and being afraid of men is abnormal. Our culture is $h!t and most people don't even realize it. I was supposed to already be out of this sh*thole country, but this plandemic ruined my plans.

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A lot of Western culture has distorted people's ideas of males and females, masculinity and femininity. Although I believe the hardcore porn culture has done probably the most damage.

It's your Saturn return Aquaguy. Events will have a major impact on your thinking and personal development. I also lost a parent during my Saturn return, along with the home I and my son had lived in for 10 years. It's not easy as you are finding out. If it's any reassurance, things did settle by around age 32 - except the dead wood I should have ripped up at age 31. A betrayal was revealed to me during S/R also and I never cut this person out. I ended up cutting them out 5 years later for the same thing.

posted December 16, 2020 05:23 AM            

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Originally posted by Graham:
OK ... since "no one is too Lost to be Found"... perhaps it is time now for both of us to "just Go And Smell A Rose...or Sweet Peas In The Rain".

Personally though, I shall be reflecting upon the traumatic events in my own life during the last week ... which culminated in the birth of my second great-grandchild, and her 5-years-old sister subsequently greeting her with the words "Hello, P ... I have been worried that you and our mummy were going to die".

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Uch Graham, congratulations on the birth of your 2nd grandchild, but I'm sorry to hear it was a traumatic experience. I hope everyone recovers well, it's such a difficult time to have a baby

posted December 16, 2020 07:24 AM            

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Originally posted by Voix_de_la_Mer:
Uch Graham, congratulations on the birth of your 2nd grandchild, but I'm sorry to hear it was a traumatic experience. I hope everyone recovers well, it's such a difficult time to have a baby

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posted December 16, 2020 11:51 AM            

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Originally posted by Graham:
Thank you. ... It was a very worrying time, but all is well now that the baby has arrived safely.

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Glad to hear it Graham.

posted December 16, 2020 03:34 PM            

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
And yes, I called her a fool and don't regret it. She doesn't even know me and is talking about toxic masculinity.

My post was probably too close to home for her. Women just want to have sex with Chads and want ugly guys like myself to just shut up and pay taxes so they can get their welfare and free abortions and birth control and pretend they are strong independent womyn. What a bunch of thots.

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this made me laugh so ******* hard, man you're like elliot rodger tier here 🤣 do you realize that?

the second guys start spouting this kind of **** it's pretty clear why they're getting rejected, they're typically bitter looking out of their league with a chip on their shoulder

posted December 16, 2020 05:21 PM            

I'll repeat what I said earlier, perhaps you missed it...

quote:

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please be careful when making assumptions about people. Stick to the topic. This forum is for personal, sometimes painful experiences, please be aware of that when posting here. Thanks!

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Sweet Peas in the Rain is supposed to be a safe place, let's keep it that way

posted December 16, 2020 06:14 PM            

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Originally posted by Voix_de_la_Mer:
@Dumuzi,

I'll repeat what I said earlier, perhaps you missed it...

Sweet Peas in the Rain is supposed to be a safe place, let's keep it that way

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well then i'll remove myself from the hugbox

posted December 17, 2020 01:33 PM            

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Originally posted by Dumuzi:
well then i'll remove myself from the hugbox

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Come back any time you need a hug

posted December 17, 2020 06:01 PM            

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Originally posted by Dumuzi:
it's pretty clear why they're getting rejected, they're typically bitter looking out of their league with a chip on their shoulder

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posted December 17, 2020 06:06 PM            

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Originally posted by Voix_de_la_Mer:
Come back any time you need a hug

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posted December 17, 2020 09:17 PM            

i never called you insane like him, i said your thinking was toxic and he's a good example of incel thinking patterns gone off the deep end to their worst conclusion

a lot of what he said was wrong because most people can find another person, people who struggle with it often have outlying factors affecting their success

but these factors are often tied to their views and they blame women as a whole for these issues

there's plenty of women who aren't flocking around a single type of guy, if you're finding this issue repeatedly then part of it is where you're looking for women

women of different sorts gravitate to different places and typically a lot of worthwhile ones aren't in the dating game or in bars, these are the ones you meet at work, through learning things by chance etc fate stuff to some degree

if you're looking at bottom rung women who are high tier lookswise you'll find patterns among them and so on

you call yourself ugly, do you give women on your level lookswise a chance? do you set the bar for women higher than you do yourself (elliott rodger wasnt ugly his personality was 🤷‍♀️ these are things that can impact your chances as well

that's not to say people can't date up only that they will have lower chances potentially (there are women who actually prefer "unattractive" partners

i've found most people with your line of thinking don't want their female equivalent

online wishful threats are a joke man, you definitely have very little idea of who you're making them to which is kind of funny in and of itself

im very open about quite a bit but i do withhold some important identifying information and so on

posted December 17, 2020 09:24 PM            

you thought servers were acting a certain way because of your looks and never just considered they dont like single diners because of tips based on percentage (which is how people frequently tip) little things like that show underlying issues and sometimes who we're looking for can't appear til we've worked on ourselves

you're showing way too much pent up rage here and no point

if you were to google treacher collins syndrome right now you'd see married men with it who have children, totally normal looking women who not only got with them but took a risk having kids with someone who has a highly visible genetic defect

posted December 17, 2020 10:34 PM            

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Originally posted by Dumuzi:

if you were to google treacher collins syndrome right now you'd see married men with it who have children, totally normal looking women who not only got with them but took a risk having kids with someone who has a highly visible genetic defect

why do you think that happens?

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