posted November 21, 2023 10:05 PM            

Thank you again ever so muchly StrangeCat for all your posts and understanding and sharing your knowledge and personal experience about AUTISM ❤️❤️❤️

Again pardon any strange autocorrects or typos 👽 I am getting tired so will correct any blatant errors etcetera later if need be✍️

------------------
Take a look at my
LexIgramming/LexAgramming Biography
Nearly 2/3 of a century to date of
♥ LexAgramming
Lexperience!🔠✍️
~I remember, therefore I am immortal~LEXX
~The present time is theirs, but the future is mine.~Никола Тесла

posted November 21, 2023 10:07 PM            

------------------
Take a look at my
LexIgramming/LexAgramming Biography
Nearly 2/3 of a century to date of
♥ LexAgramming
Lexperience!🔠✍️
~I remember, therefore I am immortal~LEXX
~The present time is theirs, but the future is mine.~Никола Тесла

posted December 09, 2023 11:58 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by StrangeCat:
https://the-art-of-autism.com/females-and-aspergers-a-checklist/

---

I've not seen the show, but having read through this (and get the impression it's more than about the show), including the links, I feel I can weigh in, and who knows, maybe gain insight into someone I miss from childhood.

First, I am definitely neurodivergent, but I wouldn't think of myself as on the autistic spectrum. I can say I'd rather be divergent than "cured." Though it can be a problem at times, it's worth it...and everyone has problems.

As for that list, I hit all the Deep Thinker ones, very few of the others. (But I can say I prefer natural body smells to cologne, perfumes, and deodorant, though I can tolerate these chemicals added to the body.)

Looking back on my life, I can see how I was shaped to be neurodivergent by my background, as opposed to "born that way."

x

I'm not certain how I learned to read at age 5, but I became an avid reader, reading books (fiction and nonfiction) for adults by age 10. Some teachers were impressed while others were disturbed. As I got older, I asked questions that made many teachers uncomfortable (didn't know the answer, didn't dare answer it, etc), and they came up with a system (that was adopted at another school so I think the other school called my previous school to get this tip on how to deal with me) that allowed me to read or write in class, something other kids pointed out with envy. But an unspoken agreement came up (though it was a long while before I realized it consciously) that I was allowed this special privilege AS LONG AS I did not ask questions or participate in class discussions.

Though because of events I'd rather not go into, I missed several months of school at age 13, and was thus behind in math. I could not understand the teacher and was flunking math. I then studied the examples in the books, and it clicked for me. (I also taught myself to multiply and divide when I was 6 using flashcards without any adult help.) I not only aced the semester exam, but was the only one to get the bonus question right which I'm told was college level (so I scored a 110 on the test). I was put in charge of tutoring, though my advice of "ignore the teacher, read the book" had mixed results.

A mushroom trip at age 14 made me realize I hated school because I loved learning, and school was too slow for me. I have zero doubt that I could've passed the GED with flying colors (as I'd eventually do at age 18, though I'd not stepped a foot inside a school since I was 16) at age 12, as long as I was allowed access to the materials. Even teachers who did not teach me said I should've been put into a school for the gifted, but of course that costs money.

I made some friends who were in "Resource" that was between normal classes and special ed. Therefore, after returning from being a runaway on the streets after several months (missing the end of the previous year as well as the start of the new school year, this time me having just turned 16 as I returned), I was put through many tests. The shrink (not exactly a counselor) was angry because many of the psyche tests that were multiple choice (and graded or examined by a computer) were "inconclusive." It did not account for neurodivergence. (And she apparently did not think that if a computer was as good as she thought then her job was no longer necessary.)

But the IQ test as well as academic ability were clear: I was a borderline genius with college level skill in reading and language skills (I presume my reading so many books intended for adults allowed for this), and high school level for math.

I was as shocked as the shrink. And what the shrink didn't know is that because I assumed I was average, and I wanted to be in Resource, I gamed the test to be less than average (basically answering honestly while it was easy, and then just being random or even deliberately getting some wrong). I'll always wonder what my "true score" would've been.

(I was then placed in a special "adaptive behavior" class in which I felt I truly belonged, most there having a similar background as me while also scoring high on the IQ and academic tests, and thus began to change my social circle. My friends in Resource were mostly thrashers/skaters, and my skateboard got stolen while I was a runaway with no way to get another one.)

In those ways, and others, I can relate. But I do wish I had a more positive experience with doctors and psychiatrists than I actually did, as the woman described here did...she's not sick, she's a dancer (under 3 min):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HpCIQKSqDd4&ab_channel=eqivideos

I hate how many get stigmatized just for being a little different, as if not off an assembly line, and often dehumanized. I've heard (and read) too many horror stories of those who were autistic, or just thought autistic, including how they were viciously abused at even a young age, without provocation, by medical and psychiatric staff, as well as in special ed programs.

One observation I've had is that autism actually describes a great many people, save that most of those deemed normal despite their obsession and "autistic traits" share common interests and thus aren't isolated for it, nor is it noticed. Brief example: intense obsession with sports or popular fashion or celebrities.

x

But someone I was very close to, and miss to this day, was, I believe, autistic. He would fit many of those signs, far more than me, though his face was more lean and long rather than how they're typically described. He was brilliant, but most thought otherwise (like other friends, he was also in Resource, which is why I tried to get myself placed there).

We met in the same book section at school, and enjoying a talk in which I found someone who shared my reading interest, I talked to him on my bus, and we got close. What utterly amazed me is that he was a guitar genius. If he heard a sound, even a synthetic one, he could instantly imitate it. Once he heard a sound, frowned, and then without speaking went to find a small battery which he then used on a guitar string to make the exact sound!

I could go on about his obsessions. While it was his idea that we date, it was just friends pretending to be dating. As is typical, as soon as he was dating me, a mean girl had to steal him away, which didn't even bother me (other than the disrespect she showed, but given that the faculty would take her side, I had subtle ways of my own to pay her back...and they had learned that while I tolerate much, physical bullying would get a violent reaction, no matter how much trouble I got into, and probably creeped them out on how silent and efficient I was about it rather than shrieking and "cat fighting.")

He kicked her to the curb pretty fast, telling me how she always wanted him to spend money on her and do horribly boring (typical) dating things, which made me laugh. We didn't pretend to date after that, we just kept the same friendship as we always did (he never came onto me sexually even when "dating"--which I appreciated and did not feel worthless because of it, and unlike many girls that age, I'm being honest in saying that, which I'm sharing as I think that's neurodivergent of both of us).

I wonder how both our lives could've been different had certain things outside our control not happened. I bet I could help him become a professional musician, though he'd be happier as a local musician than signing up with a big label. But I don't think he had the skills to deal with the lying, cutthroat world of entertainment (or society in general). I could and would help him with that, had I been around, and not for the money and/or romance or other typical motivations.

Though I've deduced this, I think he saw society as monsters which scared him. And I don't think he was wrong, especially for someone as different as him.

I wish we'd been able to stay close. If his family wasn't as messed up as mine, I'd have tried to find him. (As it is, he lost the guitar when his mother took it--the guitar a gift from another relative--and pawned it for liquor money.)

This has gone on long enough so I won't go into his other quirks. I do miss him.

x

But I will share that because of his music, I learned of a historical date that turned out to be true, while the history textbook was wrong. Due to a stupid law, the real history teacher was fired and the job given to a coach so that he could keep coaching (as sports is far more important than education) who just went with the "keys" (the answer book). He mocked me hard when I corrected the date and then admitted I got it from a heavy metal song.

So I checked out 2 books from the high school library and 3 from the public library, all confirming the very same date as the song, contradicting the textbook.

I brought it up (all 5 books present) and was, as was typical when I corrected a teacher, sent to the office where I told that was disrespectful even if the teacher was wrong (I've heard of worse, and shows that schools are about teaching obedience more than anything else, shaping kids to be a cog in the machine, a well trained rat for the rat race). The 2 school library books were not returned to the library (I wonder what the school librarian thought of that, but she told me "not to worry about it," and probably too scared to say more).

On the multiple choice test made by the coach, two of the options were the wrong date given by the textbook, and the correct date. Knowing it would be marked wrong if I answered correctly (that is academically rather than subservience), I marked the correct date (it was the only answer of mine marked "wrong").

posted February 04, 2024 07:21 PM            

Anyhow I found the people in the one episode I tried to watch as all being rather scary, disturbed and definitely would be afraid to be alone with any of them.👽👽👽
Maybe the camera crews ETCETERA made them act creepy loud and rather insane and manic.👽👽👽
I could not handle being filmed 😳👽

Not going to watch any more of that series as it weirds me out and depresses me and makes me feel even more out of touch with people in many offline life and even the online world in ways.👽👽👽

posted February 04, 2024 07:34 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by PixieJane:
I've not seen the show, but having read through this (and get the impression it's more than about the show), including the links, I feel I can weigh in, and who knows, maybe gain insight into someone I miss from childhood.

First, I am definitely neurodivergent, but I wouldn't think of myself as on the autistic spectrum. I can say I'd rather be divergent than "cured." Though it can be a problem at times, it's worth it...and everyone has problems.

As for that list, I hit all the Deep Thinker ones, very few of the others. (But I can say I prefer natural body smells to cologne, perfumes, and deodorant, though I can tolerate these chemicals added to the body.)

Looking back on my life, I can see how I was shaped to be neurodivergent by my background, as opposed to "born that way."

x

I'm not certain how I learned to read at age 5, but I became an avid reader, reading books (fiction and nonfiction) for adults by age 10. Some teachers were impressed while others were disturbed. As I got older, I asked questions that made many teachers uncomfortable (didn't know the answer, didn't dare answer it, etc), and they came up with a system (that was adopted at another school so I think the other school called my previous school to get this tip on how to deal with me) that allowed me to read or write in class, something other kids pointed out with envy. But an unspoken agreement came up (though it was a long while before I realized it consciously) that I was allowed this special privilege AS LONG AS I did not ask questions or participate in class discussions.

Though because of events I'd rather not go into, I missed several months of school at age 13, and was thus behind in math. I could not understand the teacher and was flunking math. I then studied the examples in the books, and it clicked for me. (I also taught myself to multiply and divide when I was 6 using flashcards without any adult help.) I not only aced the semester exam, but was the only one to get the bonus question right which I'm told was college level (so I scored a 110 on the test). I was put in charge of tutoring, though my advice of "ignore the teacher, read the book" had mixed results.

A mushroom trip at age 14 made me realize I hated school because I loved learning, and school was too slow for me. I have zero doubt that I could've passed the GED with flying colors (as I'd eventually do at age 18, though I'd not stepped a foot inside a school since I was 16) at age 12, as long as I was allowed access to the materials. Even teachers who did not teach me said I should've been put into a school for the gifted, but of course that costs money.

I made some friends who were in "Resource" that was between normal classes and special ed. Therefore, after returning from being a runaway on the streets after several months (missing the end of the previous year as well as the start of the new school year, this time me having just turned 16 as I returned), I was put through many tests. The shrink (not exactly a counselor) was angry because many of the psyche tests that were multiple choice (and graded or examined by a computer) were "inconclusive." It did not account for neurodivergence. (And she apparently did not think that if a computer was as good as she thought then her job was no longer necessary.)

But the IQ test as well as academic ability were clear: I was a borderline genius with college level skill in reading and language skills (I presume my reading so many books intended for adults allowed for this), and high school level for math.

I was as shocked as the shrink. And what the shrink didn't know is that because I assumed I was average, and I wanted to be in Resource, I gamed the test to be less than average (basically answering honestly while it was easy, and then just being random or even deliberately getting some wrong). I'll always wonder what my "true score" would've been.

(I was then placed in a special "adaptive behavior" class in which I felt I truly belonged, most there having a similar background as me while also scoring high on the IQ and academic tests, and thus began to change my social circle. My friends in Resource were mostly thrashers/skaters, and my skateboard got stolen while I was a runaway with no way to get another one.)

In those ways, and others, I can relate. But I do wish I had a more positive experience with doctors and psychiatrists than I actually did, as the woman described here did...she's not sick, she's a dancer (under 3 min):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HpCIQKSqDd4&ab_channel=eqivideos

I hate how many get stigmatized just for being a little different, as if not off an assembly line, and often dehumanized. I've heard (and read) too many horror stories of those who were autistic, or just thought autistic, including how they were viciously abused at even a young age, without provocation, by medical and psychiatric staff, as well as in special ed programs.

One observation I've had is that autism actually describes a great many people, save that most of those deemed normal despite their obsession and "autistic traits" share common interests and thus aren't isolated for it, nor is it noticed. Brief example: intense obsession with sports or popular fashion or celebrities.

x

But someone I was very close to, and miss to this day, was, I believe, autistic. He would fit many of those signs, far more than me, though his face was more lean and long rather than how they're typically described. He was brilliant, but most thought otherwise (like other friends, he was also in Resource, which is why I tried to get myself placed there).

We met in the same book section at school, and enjoying a talk in which I found someone who shared my reading interest, I talked to him on my bus, and we got close. What utterly amazed me is that he was a guitar genius. If he heard a sound, even a synthetic one, he could instantly imitate it. Once he heard a sound, frowned, and then without speaking went to find a small battery which he then used on a guitar string to make the exact sound!

I could go on about his obsessions. While it was his idea that we date, it was just friends pretending to be dating. As is typical, as soon as he was dating me, a mean girl had to steal him away, which didn't even bother me (other than the disrespect she showed, but given that the faculty would take her side, I had subtle ways of my own to pay her back...and they had learned that while I tolerate much, physical bullying would get a violent reaction, no matter how much trouble I got into, and probably creeped them out on how silent and efficient I was about it rather than shrieking and "cat fighting.")

He kicked her to the curb pretty fast, telling me how she always wanted him to spend money on her and do horribly boring (typical) dating things, which made me laugh. We didn't pretend to date after that, we just kept the same friendship as we always did (he never came onto me sexually even when "dating"--which I appreciated and did not feel worthless because of it, and unlike many girls that age, I'm being honest in saying that, which I'm sharing as I think that's neurodivergent of both of us).

I wonder how both our lives could've been different had certain things outside our control not happened. I bet I could help him become a professional musician, though he'd be happier as a local musician than signing up with a big label. But I don't think he had the skills to deal with the lying, cutthroat world of entertainment (or society in general). I could and would help him with that, had I been around, and not for the money and/or romance or other typical motivations.

Though I've deduced this, I think he saw society as monsters which scared him. And I don't think he was wrong, especially for someone as different as him.

I wish we'd been able to stay close. If his family wasn't as messed up as mine, I'd have tried to find him. (As it is, he lost the guitar when his mother took it--the guitar a gift from another relative--and pawned it for liquor money.)

This has gone on long enough so I won't go into his other quirks. I do miss him.

x

But I will share that because of his music, I learned of a historical date that turned out to be true, while the history textbook was wrong. Due to a stupid law, the real history teacher was fired and the job given to a coach so that he could keep coaching (as sports is far more important than education) who just went with the "keys" (the answer book). He mocked me hard when I corrected the date and then admitted I got it from a heavy metal song.

So I checked out 2 books from the high school library and 3 from the public library, all confirming the very same date as the song, contradicting the textbook.

I brought it up (all 5 books present) and was, as was typical when I corrected a teacher, sent to the office where I told that was disrespectful even if the teacher was wrong (I've heard of worse, and shows that schools are about teaching obedience more than anything else, shaping kids to be a cog in the machine, a well trained rat for the rat race). The 2 school library books were not returned to the library (I wonder what the school librarian thought of that, but she told me "not to worry about it," and probably too scared to say more).

On the multiple choice test made by the coach, two of the options were the wrong date given by the textbook, and the correct date. Knowing it would be marked wrong if I answered correctly (that is academically rather than subservience), I marked the correct date (it was the only answer of mine marked "wrong").

I'd have flunked the entire test if I had to. Which I suppose would be another potentially autistic trait since that put truth even when punished over giving the answer that I'd think would give me what I wanted. (I'd run away before this school year was over, and return the following school year in which I'd be given all those tests and then put into a special classroom.)

---

You are such a positive inspirational person to my thinking😎❤️

Thank you for all your many great contributions to us here at Lindaland 😎❤️

------------------
Take a look at my
LexIgramming/LexAgramming Biography
Nearly 2/3 of a century to date of
♥ LexAgramming
Lexperience!🔠✍️
~I remember, therefore I am immortal~LEXX
~The present time is theirs, but the future is mine.~Никола Тесла

posted February 27, 2024 01:15 PM            

I am sure about ADHD and PTSD. A medical professional said I likely had PTSD, and I read up on ADHD, long before TikTok came along. I thought they explained things. Like the PTSD getting triggered badly, and then developing more, after what happened with my family, as an adult. It sabotaged me badly, too, when I had been doing a lot better.