posted November 10, 2024 10:32 AM            

I COULD NOT GO WITH HIM TO HOSPITALS AND ON THE HELICOPTER BECAUSE OF MY BEING TOO DISABLED PHYSICALLY SO HE DIED ALONE 😭😭😭

THEY RESTARTED HIS HEART REPEATEDLY AND KEPT GIVING BLOOD AND EVEN HAD TO GET MORE FLOWN IN SO THEY TRANSFUSED ABOUT 40 UNITS OF BLOOD BEFORE GIVING UP😭😭😭

HE WAS ACTING LIKE HE WAS HAVING A STROKE
AND THEY COULD NOT STOP THE BLEEDING SO CALLED FOR LIFEFLIGHTED TRQNSPORT.
HE NEVER WOKE UP AFTER BEING PUT ON THE HELICOPTER BECAUSE THEY SAID HE BECAME TOTALLY UNRESPONSIVE MOST LIKELY BRAIN DEAD FROM THE HEMORRHAGIC SHOCK AND ELECTROLYTE IMBALANCE😭😭😭

I AM PARTIALLY PARALYZED AND PARTIALLY BLIND AND GOING INTO MY THIRD YEAR OF CHEMOTHERAPY AND NOW HAVE NO WAY TO GO TO THAT AND OTHER MEDICAL APPOINTMENTS FOR CAT SCANS AND ECHOS AND SURGERIES AND BLOOD LABS
AND INFUSIONS AND MANY OTHER NEEDED VISITS LIKE FOR
AFTER THE IDIOT DR KNOCKED AND BROKE OUT 8 OF MY TEETH DUE TO USING TOO LARGE A EDG SCOPE ON ME🤬
I NEED A WHEELCHAIR I CAN USE ALONE BECAUSE HE IS NOT HERE TO HELP AND NEED ALL KINDS OF HANDICAPPED EQUIPMENT ETCETERA.

I AM NOT COPING WELL YOU ALL CAN IMAGINE😭😭😭

NOW I NEED MONEY LOTS OF IT TO TRY AND GET WHAT I NEED MORE THAN EVER

BUT RATHER JUST HAVE MY BELOVED ♥️💙STEVE💞♥️💕 BACK💙😭💙😭💙😭

posted November 11, 2024 05:06 PM            

Steve has been family to me on many occasions in the past and will be again I'm sure... his loss is keenly felt and while there is sadness in his passing, I want to believe that ultimately he will be OK, it's been a rough few years but it's not the end, just the closing of a chapter. I have no doubt his thoughts were of you, and continue to be as his soul now slumbers.

I would hope with your family (son) now living a little closer that maybe they can help, or at least be able to help with finding some possible solution where you can still receive your treatments. I'm not sure how Widowers Allowance works in the US, but its very possible you could receive a large portion of whatever benefits he was getting before he died which might cover some of your financial needs (also if he had any life insurance there may be a cash payout). And while I doubt you are of the mind-set to really be looking to that at the moment, perhaps you can inquire about such later.

You have my sympathies during this trying time ::Hugs::

-=-=-

On a different note, though relative to Steve (and You)... for the past while I have been working on a story for a project I'm developing set in a 'Cyberpunk' future, and from the get-go Steve has been one of the Key Characters who specializes in the development of Psionics and Cybernetic-Wetware developed for surfing/exploring Virtual Worlds... My hope is that Steve will eventually get to play this game in his next life and that it will help him remember who he really is, and while he is currently gone from our world... he is by no means forgotten, and never by me.

Vaya con dios, see you in the next life big bro.

posted November 28, 2024 08:02 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by saronna:
I'm really sorry Lexx ❤️

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posted November 28, 2024 08:12 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Randall:
How are you doing, LEXX?

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Thank you for asking Randall ♥️
Sadly must say beyond horrible😱👀👽😭🤬
Exhaustion is indescribable.
All the people interfere but not helping but telling me what they want me to do which is radically different from what I want.......and
have missed many medical appointments like the three cats scans and heart tests and CHEMOTHERAPY
But at the moment on top of I am simply too emotionally and physically shredded and weak and simply cannot handle going to all that even with a ride.
I will be going back unless the Dr says I can quit or take a longer break.
I have been on the chemo going on three years so it is possible they will say quit.
But the cancer could come back with an incurable vengeance.
I will get back to all that medical care ASAP
I have no idea where all the passwords are to do much of anything they were on the computer I do not know how to use and that computer oddly got a surge in the recent power outage and totally burned out the motherboard and hard drive.
Talk about horrendous timing.

Okay just wanted to check .
Please bear with me
I will keep you updated on my status and need to find someone to come into my home and teach me some computer things as I am a techno idiot supreme.

posted January 05, 2025 07:21 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Stawr:
I am so sorry Lexx! What you have with your husband was so special and supportive. Something that not every marriage has.

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Sady since he died I discovered to my horror that he had a secret life and ugly and vile is an understatement for what has been coming to light.
Dozens of awful things shocking things .,,.I am beyond stunned and the only thing good I can say is I am no longer grieving him and happy as can be that the monster is dead.
I would have divorced him in about 2012 had I known about it all.
Then I just discovered all our writing projects since 1999
He sent to one of his secret buddies to publish using their names when I died of cancer which I have been fighting going down n three years to date.
Fooled them alright.
HOWEVER he also took my access away from our manuscripts.
.over 27 years of hard work lost lost lost no worse stolen given away in secret.
He locked me out of even my cell phone and all our computers and tablets before he died and locked me out of all our accounts and locked me out of his computers etc where all our personal and household information was kept.
Life is a freaking nightmare at this time.
I am beyond horrified that I trusted that man for over 27 years only to find out that since about 2012 he had turned on me and well let's just say ugly is putting his secret life mildly. I stayed because when he was nice at times and it was lovely but also noticed something was very wrong and since 2012 I knew something was very wrong but only after he died did I learn the truth.
On top of all that he was a secret drug addict on opioids galore stealing mine too....
And a bunch off f other addictive drugs.
I thought it was because of his liver disease and a stroke he had as to why he became more strange and manic depressive after 2012. Boy was I wrong.
Well enough on all that just want to say to folks never trust anyone with your entire being and life and accounts and money..,.WOW beyond wow I feel like an idiot trusting and loving him with my heart and soul.
He stole decades of my like and more...

I am now doing my best to survive and to keep going.
My life is a nightmare at this time.....