posted July 15, 2012 03:25 PM            

Please excuse my prolonged absence, I am 100% ok but the last few weeks have been a little rough in terms of commitments, busy work schedule and also just going through the emotional meat grinder, all stemming from my own internal battles more or less, and needing some alone hermit time to process and navigate through whatever I was feeling.

I hope no one took my absence as any kind of bad reaction, just needed some time away from everything for a little while.

anyway, I am usually scared to post being super sensitive and worried my words won't come across to others the way I intend...and with this post I somehow had the gumption to start, I find all of you being incredibly loving, kind, supportive and sharing - I couldn't have asked for a better experience!

So THANK YOU, all of you, this has turned into a wonderful thread <3

I love the playful and helpful banter on here

As for connecting to my higher self for answers, I am continuing with the yoga and meditation (I took a break the last few weeks from just about everything) and am going to a shamanic healing circle tonight with a friend, which will be a new experience.

Hope you are feeling better mirage and hope you are doing well Jovian.

posted July 15, 2012 05:28 PM            

Glad you liked the 'banter' -- I recently got really embarassed when someone informed me that Jovian is female. OMG, I thought that she was a he until just a few days ago! yikes, and tee-hee! (I am female, and straight)

Well! Let me tell you this --- It was ALL worth it, and such incredible uber-dramatic Fun! Jovian is not only a well-MANnered gentlewoman and 'good sport' but she is clearly very brilliant, and has sharp leadership capabilities.

"""" I hope we can ALL feel that kind of freedom for expression, and find safety here from cruelty. """"

Okay! I'll have to go back over some of your posts. There were things I wanted to share with you, and answer some questions you asked.

With all my heart, welcome back Steppenwolf!

posted July 15, 2012 06:26 PM            

Some people work as diligently to tear, pop, and trip up. They consider it their earthly "duty" to do such things. My mother was always afraid I'd turn out to be a 'vain' person, so she did it on purpose to cripple every step I tried to take. It was like having Sybil's mom.

'Success' just does things to some people. They make sure the people around them don't get too vain, or too hopeful, or too happy.

Hmmm... too bad.

Jovian, you are my friend, and Steppen...you were right with your fears to begin with. Earthly wisdom. I always see the good in people: yeah I'm an idiot and I can't seem to figure it out; mai non! eetz becoz I'm an eedyottt get it??

posted July 15, 2012 06:27 PM            

"I must credit Steppenwolf for her magnificent thread in the Asteroid forum. That inspired me."

posted July 15, 2012 07:29 PM            

I tapped into the first youtube link he had and listened to a seven-minute talk by someone I didn't get the name of. Then I saw 29-minute Interview of Stevenson and clicked that. Never got back to the 7-minute talk, and didn't find it registered under my tab-history (or whatever that's called).

WHAT THAT MAN WAS SAYING fits something I posted on a different website yesterday night July 14, @ 6pm->11pm.

Wow, are some of us on the 'same page' when it comes to layers of consciousness we're tapping, or what???? Personally I was FEELing that the things I express are original--- Truly, they were born inside of me. Come from deep within me. I felt I was being so avant-guard and weirdly risk-taking by expressing my OWN opinions. Now, it makes me look like I've been reading and plagiarizing the ideas of OTHERS!! Woah!!

See? That's something that would have SHUT me down in the past. I would judge myself and say I'm soooo behind everyone else in the crowd. That I'm pass-ay. Too old. That I somehow 'missed' it all in life, and to just forget thinking I can be a part of things.

I think that what I may be learning now is to just to keep on. I DO have good ideas, and they DO match other minds in society.

posted July 15, 2012 09:17 PM            

"You now have the wisdom to see life as a grand adventure, and it's important to take the time to share with others what you've discovered about the meaning of life. You need to find new ways to tell your story."
http://northnodeastrology.blogspot.com/2008/01/sagittarius-north-node-gemini-south.html

Also look at descriptions of North Node in Aries and/or 1st house.... re: trusting your own instincts.
http://www.cafeastrology.com/articles/northnodeinaries.html

I found it very helpful to reflect on my North Node sign and house.

posted July 15, 2012 11:16 PM            

mirage - you wrote: "I hope we can ALL feel that kind of freedom for expression, and find safety here from cruelty."

That resonated very deeply with me, I feel I can express myself freely here on this thread and safety from cruelty is so important but I realize everyone has different ways of communicating and expressing and I am afraid sometimes I am overly sensitive so I typically just read (because this site has invaluable information) and not actively participate to avoid any kind misunderstanding.

I am extra cautious about not making anyone feel bad with any of my comments and am just super sensitive about my feelings and those of others! even with my aquarius sun, taurus moon and virgo asc - i guess i chose those placements to ground myself

Jovian - are you kidding? I LOVE the high weirdness, being a big time weirdo myself! I especially appreciate fearless expression (funny that I lack it myself, at least over the internet), I find it much easier to communicate in person but I do have some saturn (4 scorp) opp moon (1 taurus) and both sq. mercury (5 aquarius) issues with communication which I am trying hard to work through as they are restricting, it feels like a tightness of expression that creates internal tension. Sometimes I think my brain will short circuit lol!

thank you for what you said about being kind and gentle <3 i feel the same about you and mirage.

In the spirit of letting it all hang out...what you said about feeling the unloved parts of us being judged is scary...I am working on self-love and have been working on it for the last few years but have a hard time and feel slightly stuck. I have a wonderful support system around me, friends, family, few bad experiences with people that were close to me so this issue is something that was not so much caused or brought to life by external influences.

I would fear being misunderstood, unkindness or just general ridicule of my ideas or feelings, especially if i've put my heart into something - it's so hard to gauge over the internet.

You both express yourself so beautifully! I feel that your words echo how I feel and help me to express myself by building on what you have said.

We are often hardest on ourselves...I want to be self-aware 100% of the time but sometimes there is a fine line of being self-conscious instead.

mirage, you wrote: "In my own experience, I find over and over again that until I find an internal kindness and acceptance towards myself -- now, 'as I am' -- then I cannot arrive into integrating all of who I can be, or all I have the potential of becoming. If I don't know who I am, then how do I know what to do and in which direction I should point..."

how do either of you or did you find that internal kindness and acceptance? that is what I so desperately need! although i am filled with gratitude for everything in my life, the one thing that is missing is self-love and acceptance, which is a pretty big deal!

oh wow! thank you for posting the link to IQs post, that was very nice of him to write - very interesting information that I will sort through. He did a few readings for me and they were brilliant - I don't think it's a kind of reading you can get anywhere else, his website lists all of the different readings.

mirage, we are glad to have you - there is nothing to put up with at all! it has been rewarding reading all of the exchanges and also meeting you on here so please do not think we are putting up with you because it's quite the contrary!

how recent is the difference in your frame of mind in regard to self-love and that your thoughts have value?

I often feel the same way about either being way off base about something or thinking my thoughts have no value but I am the only one that is putting all of these limitations on myself.

I have gathered through a few different types of readings that throughout my past lives two prominent themes are abusive and/or oppressive families and/or situations and having difficulty expressing myself due to these situations and shutting down.

So I would assume those have percolated into this life and I feel I have to do something with this knowledge, I have to make a difference but how do I start...I've been actively working on it for a few years and I do see improvement...I am no longer as self-destructive and have overcome (and still working on it) a few addictions as a result of the self-destructive behavior (I take everything out on myself or at least used to).

The insane part is my life has not been difficult, I have amazing opportunities, friends and family so I often feel bad for having these feelings in the first place but I know they come from somewhere deeper and are an integral part of my lessons from incarnation to incarnation.

Perhaps, I am given better circumstances and the knowledge of these patterns in this life so that I can learn to overcome these issues and I strongly feel that I have to do my best in my efforts at transformation in this life.

Jovian - where is your north node?
Mirage - do you identify with yours?

Mine is at 2 cancer and I feel I am already there... I don't relate to the SN in capricorn at all, it does not feel familiar so I am wondering about the lessons associated with my NN as I love being nurturing, spending time with family in close knit groups, etc. It is in the 11th house so maybe it is pointing to more involvement in groups which makes sense.

Oh so the shamanic journey (the healing circle is next month) was really interesting and I am very glad I did it...it was kind of like a guided meditation but with sounds (similar to a gong meditation).

None of my friends (with the exception of a close friend who went with me today) are into any of the stuff I am into (in fact most think it's ridiculous so I keep it to myself) so it was nice to meet people who are like minded and open. Everyone was very friendly (cruelty free lol!), we basically just lay on yoga mats with pillows and blankets while one of the teachers played the drums, another one smudged with sage and other herbs and two other teachers (after the drumming was done) used rattle instruments. Your mind just kind of spirals and you just follow wherever it takes you.

Some people see things such as their animal spirit or communicate with their spirit guide, for me it was more physical and just feeling the energy very heavily, my body felt very grounded. I used the time to send out prayers to the universe, let go of 2 people that I wanted to let go of (did an etheric cord cutting a few months ago which has worked so far) and just sent out my intentions and what I need to grow. I will definitely attend the healing circle which includes reiki and aromatherapy. So it was a very nice experience overall, I think I will have to see how it changes for me over the next few sessions (they are once a month).

Ok off to bed I go...have a full day of work, yoga and girls night after - trying to get back into the swing of social life

posted July 15, 2012 11:39 PM            

I love this song!...

posted July 15, 2012 11:58 PM            

( I will miss you, Miss Celeste! bheart: )

Leslie Ann Warren / Celeste Holm - In My Own Little Corner, & Impossible -
Rogers & Hammerstein's Cinderella (1965) -
10:59 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27K6nlVEdSc&feature=related

posted July 18, 2012 02:52 AM            

The Doctor will see you now....

posted July 18, 2012 01:44 PM            

Mirage, my dear! Oh, that's funny--So, I was your ideal archetype made flesh, eh? And did you really have a "seizure" upon encountering me, as the dear doctor suggests? Did you, in fact, swoon? ...I'm so glad you can laugh at yourself so! I wouldn't want to lose my partner in comedy, here. ...It fascinates me that you were so convinced I was male. (I'm telling you--that Neptune opposite Sun thing we have has something to do with it!) Sorry, my love--not this lifetime. I am aware of my strong "animus," of many male lifetimes--to use a Jungian term. I am destined to work on finding my healthy anima, this time around, I'd say. ...Barbara Hand Clow suggests as much in her Chiron book--that for females Venus Square Chiron can indicate strong male lifetimes in the past. Done and done!

Seems like Jung could have really gone further with that idea of falling in love with archetypes, if he had known the astrology concepts--natal and synastry--that we have today.

I'm glad that looking at your north node is helpful. There are of course loads of other descriptions out there. ...Hers just was more of the deep, holistic type that I happen to find more useful.

Ooh...listening to zee doctor's accent reminds me of one of my favorite movies... Mel Brooks' Young Frankenstein

I seem to have fun recalling this scene and imitating Cloris Leachman, whenever I get the urge to be silly:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t_SuywOociY

posted July 18, 2012 03:46 PM            

"You're my Satellite"...

posted July 18, 2012 04:35 PM            

Thank you for my New Moon greeting!

You know, it happens to coincide with your Unbirthday!! ...Just another amazing connection we have, apparently!

I thought you'd appreciate this video someone made, that includes the clips of the voice actors, aside the animated Disney characters (Ed Wynn as Mad Hatter!):

Alice In Wonderland test footage - Unbirthday Mad Tea Party - Disney http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ROqlhMEWA70

...And of course the Unbirthday Song!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_o4flFXLB8

Happy Unbirthday, Mirage!

posted July 18, 2012 04:58 PM            

I am glad you feel quite comfortable with the weirdness quotient here. XO

[What is going on, anyway? That new moon in my natal moon sign (cancer)? Which as we know is conjunct a certain someone's wacky Uranus! So, CLEARLY we know who is to blame here!]

posted July 18, 2012 05:42 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Jovian:
. . . Mirage, my dear! Oh, that's funny--So, I was your ideal archetype made flesh, eh? And did you really have a "seizure" upon encountering me, as the dear doctor suggests? Did you, in fact, swoon?. . .

---

Soft! my DANCING ANGEL, Jovian. To tell you the truth I'm afraid to tell you... it's like this... You aren't afraid of a little fantasy, are you?

Night & Day - Fred Astair & Ginger Rogers in 'The Gay Divorcee' (1934)- http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=34FHYl9NHVw

posted July 18, 2012 05:55 PM            

Greensleeves ~ Anne Boleyn - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A52NVdvBztA&feature=related