posted May 08, 2021 01:15 PM            

My mom forgets sometimes too...when I was staying at her place in March....

My dad is the same as me...but he just grunts in the morning to get his coffee and has selective hearing, and then sits in solitude in the bathroom w/ cup of coffee a smoke, and a phone game.

posted May 13, 2021 12:41 PM            

Timing! .. You're under the stress of planning a wedding too? Wow.. so ambitious.

I used to be a smoker. Early morning coffee with a cigarette went together so well.

Tried to quit over and over again for several years. I planned another 'quit' for Sept 10 -- but ahead of time -- on Sept 2, 2000, I 'spontaneously decided' that day to 'just do it'.

On the 21st day of the quit, while I was browsing through Yellow Pages in my phone book {~yeah, it's weird, I liked looking at Yellow Page advertisements 'for fun', and, for distraction}. Came upon a small plain-type line that was a Smoking-Quit Helpline. So.. why not?

I called the number.
A woman with a low husky voice answered.
I said, "I quit smoking 3 weeks ago."
She responded in a ~weird sounding voice,
"Have you KILLED anybody yet??"

omg!!!!! I laughed soooo hard!

Have you 'killed' anybody yet?? haha
Stawr.. "your anger/frustration???" yep

She took me through the withdrawal symptoms.
She said that there is ONE DAY in the quit-process, where people would most-likely fail.
.. I thought about my previous attempts to quit. YES, it was around 3 weeks into it. So correct.

On the "21st Day" of your 'quit', all-at-once, your body gets a rush. You revisit the physical sense of 'what it was like' the first few days of quitting. (At that point, you have to apply whatever worked for you, to get you through the toughest days of your experience!) For whatever reason, body 'does that' on day 21. IF you can beat day 21, and on to day 30, then you have BEAT the chemical part of the quit-- the medical withdrawal from nicotine addiction.

After day 30 of your quit-- it's just the physical emotional "habit" that you become challenged by.

We have 'pleasure' associations to uncouple from our experience.

Drinking Coffee -- WITHOUT the Cig.
Taking an 'air' break outside, instead of a cig break.

Hold a pencil or pen in your hand for comfort and fidgeting with, instead of a cig. That includes when you're drinking coffee and chatting with your friends. Hold something-else in your hand while talking.

Take DEEP sips of BREATH and then EXHALE--
like you do when taking a drag on cig.
Think of 'how' you draw in that air..
blow out your breath slowly through pursed lips like you would with a cig.

Some people gain weight, because Cigs help to curb your appetite. Find something else. Chewing Gum is a good substitute.

The feeling of a craving only lasts 3 to 5 minutes?
KNOW that. USE that knowledge. WAIT it out.
Then reward self. The body got over it.

Some people need to physically mentally make another 'plan' for how and what they'll do to substitute behaviors.

I've been reading how 'grumpy' you get?
For support-- make sure you TELL others that you are attempting a quit!
That you are going through withdrawals.
It also works as an 'accountability' moment for you to have announced it.

This 'should' bring more understanding from others.
And, you must not take advantage OF their good graces.
YOU must try harder to 'manage' your own states. People will understand. Do your best through these time-periods.

21-Days, and the medical battle over nicotine is Won!

USE ASTROLOGY

More Advice

- http://www.horoscopeswithin.com/quitsmoking.php

That article didn't give much detail-- but you can do a computer search of 'use astrology to quit smoking' and get other advices on it.

________________
ADD.
In USA, various counties in some States may have a Quit program. Sometimes people meet in groups for 6 weeks, to support each other.

posted July 02, 2021 11:20 AM            

I get very triggered when people are super annoying and up my butt or down right rude. It's gonna happen there is no avoiding it, or if I feel overscheduled and rushed.
My husband and I both have a lot of time off of work right now, so he has been off his Adderall...one day he was constantly up my butt and I was trying to get ready for my final hair and make up trail, and had to run an errand. He was either in my way annoying me, or on the couch looking at his phone. (which is triggering when all I want to do is clean and I'm too busy, he actually has enough time to clean and chooses to look at his phone.) That combo made me feel psychotic. And then it felt impossible to get out the door. I had to keep going back in the condo. It started raining grab umbrella and boots, I forgot the coupon, I forgot the item I was returning, then fiancé(now husband) left and locked the screen door. I gave him the middle finger as he drove off. (not proud of that) wrestling the umbrella open and shut made me feel crazy. Then at the store returning the item was super slowwww three ladies had to try to figure it out at the register. I know I had a crazy look on my face and was disassociating. My friend doing hair and make up is also a closet smoker. So I was like "oh yeah, I think I am going to bum one off of her today!"

But as the day went on the better I felt. My friend assured me that I don't need to worry about cleaning for her I have enough going on with the wedding. She ended up having a cigg after doing my hair and make up, I went out with her and I did not have one. I told her that I felt like I needed one really bad in the morning but it's passed, so I will just keep her company.
I was very proud of my self.

But that is a good reminder that I have to go through the withdrawals again once I start up again.

I did not quit on purpose I just naturally smoke less since my life is in a much better place. I can't even remember the last time I bought a pack. (Feb/March possibly)

It also REALLY helps that I never see anyone at the condominiums smoking, and I don't want to be that person.

I took your advice to heart about telling people that I am not really smoking anymore when I feel triggered.

My fiance was off his Adderall yesterday and day drinking. When this happens he can play fight and lightly tease me. A little bit is fun...but when he is off his medication he can do this for hours ON END. With his Asperger's it is not easy for him to figure out when I've had enough.

posted September 02, 2021 10:46 AM            

Your husband will have to learn your cues.

I had a dad who would tease, and even grab and tickle to the point of pain-- then he'd get upset with me that I'd get mad at him.

You know, to borrow from language used in sex, your husband and you will have to adopt a Safe Word for non-sex situations.

He'll have to train himself to stop--Asperger's or not. He HAS to train himself. He HAS to think of someone else besides only HIM. I know how easy it is to say that 'he can't help himself' BECAUSE he has an ~illness?/condition.

HE CAN help himself. Marriage is a LONG Term proposition. He needs to learn this NOW, from the beginning, because he's NOT the only person in his world anymore.

NO Excuse!
(If he is in counseling, get in on a session with him. Lay down the law!!! LOL)
What he gets away with doing TO you NOW, needs to get resolved..

__
I came across a post you did where you said you're starting to use substances again. Does HE do it too?

Gurl...
I'm worried about you. ....|
Reverting to substance-abuse to handle life,,,

Life is VERY hard right now...
(I've got the TV on a news station.)
I hope you'll be alright... *bheart*

posted September 02, 2021 04:54 PM            

If Coffee Companies Were Honest
{Starbucks, Coffee Bean, Folgers Parody}
(Cracked! by "Roger", July 4 2016,
[4:49] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ovhbT-Iulc

If Juice Cleanse Ads Were Honest
{Detox, Master Cleanse}
(Cracked - by "Roger", Nov 6 2017)
[5:57] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BxL8-KTPxAQ

posted November 27, 2021 09:37 AM              

Very occasionally, I'll have 4 oz of caffeinated black coffee, but I try to keep to only once or twice a week as my body is quite sensitive to such things. Meanwhile, black decaff coffee was said to be "a food" by Cayce's guidance.