posted September 19, 2012 11:29 AM            

The 4 of Cups in a romance reading is never the most fulfilling card to draw. We can that the figure in the Rider-Waite image has 3 cups before him, and a magic cup on a cloud is being offered, while he rejects it - although one important thing to note is that one eye remains open, so he is not totally passive yet cannot act.

When you pull the 4 of Cups in terms of emotions for a partner, your partner probably feels stagnant. Who knows how long the other 3 Cups have been sitting there? He has what he wants already, yet he isn't happy... still, he cannot reach out and take something new, to surrender the other bland 3 Cups. He's holding onto something that no longer works. It's a contradictory card that speaks of contradictory feelings. Cups relate back to the heart, to the element Water, so for this card I like to think of it as best as 'wishy-washy'. The 3 Cups don't fulfill him, yet he refuses to let them go or try something (or someone) new. Emotionally this usually signifies a moderate to intense sense of apathy, feeling stuck in a rut. It's going through the motions while remaining spiritually aloof. It's not allowing your heart to be on the line because you are too attached to the past.

When this card appears in terms of romantic feelings, this is a struggle card. I've seen it come up many times when one partner was uninterested in having a romantic relationship, yet could not fully push the other person away. They were intrigued, a little interested, yet couldn't fully appreciated the flirtations, romantic advances and gestures the girl would provide them. I'm sure it can also happen in the vice versa. Often the other person rejects the romantic interest because they already have something in their hearts tying them down - a bad break-up they can't get over, an ex still in mind, something too heavy to let anyone in. So they choose to stew over their past, while lacking appreciation for the new romantic interest, the outstretched 4th Cup, right there in front of them. This can lead to the other person interested feeling let down, hurt and even rejected.

As a card to represent the relationship itself, we don't find a hopeless situation but a difficult one. Depending on surrounding cards, we can see that one or both partners is emotionally and/or sexually experiencing a sense of apathy, or maybe one partner feels a sense of rejection on their end. Coupled with the Devil and the 3 of Swords, we find a partner who potentially feels sexually rejected. More positively, we could see the Rx 4 of Cups, although painful, to bring hope - a partner realizes the mistake they made of being too apathetic, since now they have woken up from their passive shell. With the Knight of Swords, for example, the 3 of Swords Rx, and the Lovers, we have an excellent spread that shows that one partner really is going to pursue their love interest, that 4th Cup, or mend the relationship and do it right this time. This relationship possibly went on the rocks, but it could very possibly be patched together again if they try. To me, this spread reminds me of a man who pushes a girl away without really wanting to, and lets her leave town - only to realize on the day she leaves that she is the one for him, so he chases her down and stops her from getting on her plane.

How has the 4 of Cups been for you in love, or in general spreads? I had much to say for this card, since it intrigues me, considering that a real life love interest I have now was once represented by this lovely card.

Tell me what you think, discuss or ask questions as always.

posted September 22, 2012 11:49 AM            

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Originally posted by Randall:
Great explanation!

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