posted May 09, 2012 06:34 AM            

I have some really really hard aspects in my natal chart particularly with regards to Saturn.
http://s1173.photobucket.com/albums/r594/angieu1/

Interesting, five years ago age 31 I was diagnosed with a 'personality disorder' and have gone through major crisis after major crisis almost like clockwork througout every single year of my life, especially since aged 12.

I used to be afraid of telling any psychiatrist how deeply I related to natal astrology in case they definately assumed I was insane, however, I have a fascination with the study of the stars which to me, is my faith, and under code of pratice for mental health professionals, faith must be respected and taken into consideration when 'treating' a person.

I tried various therapies, some group evening therapies, some one on one with psychologists but finally arrived at a MINDFULNESS based therapy which absolutely took into account my beliefs and faith and have helped me to feel less insane as a result.

So, am I 'cured'? Well, no, not while i still have to contend with the bad aspects in my natal chart and the problems transits bring!! But I do feel more authentic.... my personality is a big one, complex and full of conflict, but I am trying to learn to tone down the crises that seem to fall out the sky every now and then like huge asteroids.

If you have gleaned anything to assist me in my quest for a more peaceful and harmonious existence, please let me know.

posted May 09, 2012 01:19 PM            

At any rate, the charts are the best way to know with what we came into this world

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted May 11, 2012 08:53 PM            

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted May 11, 2012 09:36 PM            

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted May 11, 2012 09:37 PM            

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted May 11, 2012 09:39 PM            

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted May 18, 2012 06:26 AM            

Indeed all those planets in the twelfth house I think this is correct.

I was born 7.45am BST London, England. 14/04/1976.

Thank you for your validation so far that its not my fault. I work tirelessly hard with my emotions (actually the personality disorder I was diagnosed with is actually called 'Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder'.... no joke!

posted May 18, 2012 06:29 AM            

Indeed all those planets in the twelfth house I think this is correct.

I was born 7.45am BST London, England. 14/04/1976.

Thank you for your validation so far that its not my fault. I work tirelessly hard with my emotions (actually the personality disorder I was diagnosed with is actually called 'Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder'.... no joke!

posted May 18, 2012 08:50 AM            

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted May 18, 2012 08:50 AM            

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted May 18, 2012 09:42 AM            

Life at 36 is supposed to be what exactly??

the peak of my fertility has now passed so I am transiting a time where I have to accept ebbing chances (a fundamental blockage to my deepest desires is also a metaphorical blockage due to my blocked tubes - I have eggs as normal and a normal womb)

In hind sight, not one of my ex's have I regretted not having a baby with. Infact I radically accept the curse is a blessing though I naturally struggle with that concept when I am hormonal or broody.

Anyway, Indeed, the men that seem to be attracted to me now (I have always had some seriously strong pulling power)are becoming less and less the type of man I would want in my life.... they are all looking for children, family, home, car, holidays and all that traditional stuff... BUT... I've BEEN THERE and I just couldn't handle it, didn't suit me etc,.

Where shall we start?

I have just started an art course, something my parents would NEVER have considered worthwhile but they look at me now as damaged anyway and take my art as rather a concession and offer a patronising smile, where others are giving me feedback to suggest I have an extremely talented gift with my hands. (I was offered an opportunity to scholarship at a prestigious London School of Music to further my studies of classical harp after reaching grade 6 in two years age 11-13) much to my dismay I was sexually abused at that time by a vicar and quit the harp along with 'being a nice person'. Here started my intense anger.

The harp thing has always bothered me..... I was told i was outstanding and never paid for a lesson as my teacher was so impressed she travelled three hours to teach me for free)

So, at 13 I was damaged but had already been given hope I could earn ALOT of money (my teacher was resident harpist to Princess Diana's brothers family) and she considered herself a crap harpist! Many many professional harpists heard me play and ALL of them had the same response.... awe in their faces, their expressions and their reactions......

Now I am trying out face masks self made with plaster of paris to represent my past present and future so ultimately after pouring out alot of info here, I have seredipitously stumbled upon one question..... are there any glaringly obvious opportunities ahead for me to express myself as easily through art as I did through music once?

I have to say I took alot of recreational drugs from 13 and have smoked alot of marijuana which has dampened alot of my mind, affecting my IQ but has opened my mind MORE to art...... a concession I am willing to radically accept. Afterall I am not the youth I was.........!

Oh Oh OH, for some reason when I was young I put a playing card hidden behind the wardrobe with a message to myself at age 37... it has long since gone but I am curious.... is something big bad or good going to happen to me in my 37th year?

My questions are probably more revealing than any answers I could get ;-)

posted May 18, 2012 07:46 PM            

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Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal