posted October 04, 2013 06:53 AM            

I don't know if it's allowed to share e-mail addresses over here, so I'd edit it out if I were you.

Is it even your e-mail or just joking?

posted October 04, 2013 01:29 PM            

It's just time to move on.
What I was looking for on this site, I've found. What I was looking for has reached a plateau. I've learned as much as I'm going to here and it's time to just take my learning back into my own hands.

There's a lot more but that's about it.
I've really enjoyed talking to you, genuinely.

I'm not upset about anything at all. I just kind of had "an awakening". One of those moments when suddenly you are mentally far back away from it to see the big picture. Do you ever have those moments?
I had one and there's nothing more for me here. It's just silly to keep pumping time and energy into it.

That's it.

posted October 04, 2013 03:18 PM            

But I see. If you're not getting what you need over here anymore, of course it's a waste of time to stick around here. I respect your choice.

Just going to miss our 12th house convos. I actually did start typing an e-mail before you edited your post, mind if I send it?

Awakenings? Yeah, sometimes. It just hits you what you're supposed to do, which way to go. Now I'm getting curious about your transits. Haha sorry. 7th house Uranus, right?

But thanks, you too! Of course I'd rather you stay, but I'm not going to hold anyone back who wants out.

posted October 04, 2013 03:33 PM            

Yes, send your email. No problem there.

I can tell you that I have Uranus transit near both my DC and vertex. Both t-sun and t-moon are on my natal Pluto and asc. One big four-way conjunction.

I couldn't explain that energy inside, but I bet you can imagine it.
I don't even like coming back here. I said that I wouldn't but I'm still here. It feels like breaking a promise to myself.
I'll reply one more though and detail as best hat I can.

posted October 04, 2013 04:28 PM            

I did send you an e-mail, so you could do it that way if you'd like. Replied to your last 12th house post there.

WOW Uranus on both of those!! Yeah, that'd do! Then all of that opposing Sun/Moon/Asc/Pluto. Ffff that's a looooot of energy. Feeling tense?

Yeah I think so!

posted October 04, 2013 05:20 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by geea:
ill reply later too, zander, im not feeling well

---

posted October 05, 2013 12:46 AM            

I know my information is on it. I don't care. LOL

This is my PROGRESSED Chart with some extras thrown in and Transits.

posted October 05, 2013 01:35 AM            

I'm sure transits are playing a role, however, this is nothing unusual for me and I personally blame Pluto. An Astrologer told me that 9 degrees really amps up Pluto or any planet really.

Let's see.... where to start.
I was motivated to come to this site to learn. I wanted to learn more about Astrology. I also thought it would be nice to be a part of a "community". I'm also very very.... intuitive although I'm not certain that is the correct term. Diplopoda recently challenged me to "channel energy" from a person via an online blog. http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum24/HTML/222363.html

No need to reply in that thread. It'll get bumped up and I don't really care for it.

When I joined, I was anxious to get to know people and by getting to know. I don't necessarily mean like oh do you have siblings, blah blah blah. Just intuitively get to know people. I was also in a bad place mentally as summers are for me.
Over time I've accomplished both. I've learned a lot and have gotten to "know" several of the regulars here. I almost never speak out my intuitions. I act on them. Which probably leaves people confused I'm sure.

I feel as though I've learned what I wanted to learn. I have some books that I have yet to read anyway.
As I've gotten to know some people, it seems that while Astrology is discussed here. I prefer it in a manner similar to this particular thread. Although we've kind of dwindled off here and there we've somewhat been on topic still. 12th house is just.... well it covers of a lot of things I think.
The heavy traffic areas of the site seem to be more of just a social show off. Just a bunch of people socializing and actually forming cliques.
So, there's two parts to my desire to pull away from this site.

I feel as though I've gotten out of this site all that I can. There's really not much else here for me to be honest.

The other thing is a much bigger topic.
I'm thinking Pluto conjunct Asc. but also 12th.
I was driven to come to LL to learn. To explore this mysterious thing, understand myself, bring me closer to understanding people, connecting with something larger than myself. Larger than all of us.
The simplest and most accurate way to say it. I came here to expand. My life is non-stop expanding and contracting. Change is constant, yet some things remain the same for years and years. I can listen to the same music, same song for a long time. My diet changes very very little. The expansion and contraction is in my mind, 90%.
So, when something has lost it's usefulness, it goes.
The other thing is control.
I don't like to feel like ANYTHING has control of me. I don't need control of others, I need control of myself. There was a thread about what sign could dominate Taurus or something along that line. I said Leo, which... maybe so but it could be some aspects. Someone disagreed of course but I won't be. I've utterly destroyed relationships for that simple thing. If they try to control me I will go to extremes to break it. Many times though, it may only involve myself.
For example, I hardly ever drink alcohol and never do drugs. I don't smoke.
I don't drink much because no matter how drunk I am, I remain aware that I have just limited myself. I can't drive. I can't go outside and be loud or I'll get arrested public intox. It's so extreme that my awareness of restrictions on me actually outweighs my loosened personality. Occasionally I will though and not worry about that.
So... I found myself spending large amounts of time on LL. Checking on my phone at work. etc.
Months ago I was the same with Facebook. It's a hook. I don't like it and part of me wants to quit for the simple fact of proving it to myself that I can. That I'm more powerful than my obsessions. Nothing will have control of me including my own obsessions.
It may sound silly and one might say to just "spend less time there".
I don't work that way. Blame Pluto again perhaps. (Or my progressed chart?) I go completely into something or I completely withdraw. There's some things in life of course that are moderated. Many though, I'm all in, or not at all.
It spans across everything. Friendships, etc.

Now, I also said something about people ignoring me, or threads going silent after I post in them. Particularly what I've noticed is a few here who used to converse with me regularly, suddenly do not.
I could be wrong about this but I think it could be two things. One more than the other.

One is, maybe I'm too intense?

Or, the other is, possibly related, but I have a tendency to just speak out. Supposedly "looking for attention" or "starting arguments". The truth is, I look at some situation and I just tell it as I see it.
In "real life" I'm the same way. However, In "real life" I'm able to control my tone, my body language. Here, it's only words. People can't get a feel for it. I've told friends flat out that I think they're wrong for doing something. Or they started it or are overacting. But I'm able to do it in such a way that they respect my opinion and are actually appreciative of it. They know I'm not judging them but rather trying to steer them onto the better path. I call it as I see it.
Oh but essentially, I think that some here who used to frequently talk to me might believe that I'm "unpredictable" and "could just snap at any time" so it's best to just stay clear of me and not risk it. That's what I'm picking up.

Anyway, I think that about covers it.

Wanting to break away from something that has a hook on me.
Feeling that the usefulness has passed.
Accomplished my learning goal (here) and gotten to know people here. (not getting attached, getting to know - intuitively)

OH! How to say this carefully.
I thought that perhaps the "environment" of this forum would be different than other forums. I've been on several of different topics.
The truth is, it's the same. There's just a certain atmosphere that you get on a forum. It will always be, no matter what forum.

For the most part, it's just not for me. I enjoy the learning part of each forum. I don't like the way the socializing is carried out. It's like high school all over again and I HATED high school!!

Not everybody. So no one take offense. I won't and wouldn't ever start making a list of who is that way or who isn't. That'll just have to remain a mystery. I keep my intuitions to myself also.

Okaaaaaaay..... that's it. I'm tired.

I may stick around this particular thread. I'm sure it's probably lurked heavily, but even still it's like a quiet little corner of LL and I like that. Actually when I go to restaurants I sit in the corner. LOL

I haven't even gone to Astrology 2.0 today and just went to Sweat Peas briefly.
Not much desire to.

posted October 06, 2013 04:56 AM            

I've been busy! I found a car about an hour away that was just too good to pass up. I hate to acquire more debt but it was worth it. I'm in love! LOL Then I had to work.

geea
I plan to reply to this hopefully soon also.
Have not forgotten.

posted October 06, 2013 11:45 AM            

Geea, wow, I'm so sorry. It always hurts falling for someone who turns out to be anything but who you thought they were. Don't mind the swearing, the 12th house is pretty damn tough - no nicer way of saying it.

posted October 06, 2013 02:04 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by meissieri:

Geea, wow, I'm so sorry. It always hurts falling for someone who turns out to be anything but who you thought they were. Don't mind the swearing, the 12th house is pretty damn tough - no nicer way of saying it.

;_; It's that bad? I know it's not much, but I really hope you'll be able to trust him again. Wow this is bad. Again, so sorry.

---

posted October 06, 2013 06:11 PM            

Ahhh yes, that changes things, doesn't it? It's great he was there for you, though. We need wise, experienced men. Glad you're not giving up yet. Just be easy on yourself with not trusting him completely yet. Those things take time. Once you get hurt, you want to protect yourself from going through it again. It's totally normal.

posted October 06, 2013 09:01 PM            

Geea - Wow! I don't know what to say. Did you and him have Venus square Neptune?
or what did you have?
I was obsessed with this woman for like... more than a year. I guess about a year and a half. It took 5 months of not being around her to finally quit. We had Venus square Saturn. I was Venus.
I had a really traumatizing relationship. I won't go into it but for a long time I was really kind of "knee jerk" pulling away from anyone who was trying to get closer. That was 2010.
Finally, I have a different attitude. Actually I think a healthy attitude. I'm not afraid any more. I'm just very picky - particular about who I'm going to allow to get closer. I know what I want and don't want.

I had this other girlfriend in 1999. She never fell out of love. She moved on and got married. She's still married and her husband forbids her to talk to me. Even still she would stay in contact behind his back. Nothing bad, just hey how are you. Not that it made it right. Except one time she called me, I think it was 2010 or 2011 she called me. She said that she thought about more than a married woman said. I just played it off. I'm wasn't sure what to say honestly. I don't have the same feelings that she has. Even though I have Venus 12th and have a tendency to go after "unavailable" women. I DON'T do seconds. If there was a "serious" relationship in the past. That's it. It's one shot to make it work for me. I will put all of my effort into it though.

posted October 07, 2013 08:30 AM            

And a really, uh, bizarre thing here... everyone is talking about hurt and suffering in relationships, me included, and guess what's transiting in my chart right now?

Nessus on my NN exact, opposing an exact Mars-SN (which conjuncts my natal Sun). When Nessus approached my NN, I started opening up here about having been abused after years of repressing it, downplaying it, blaming myself, etc. It'd likely gone through a square to my natal Pluto for years. (Gonna check out the transits more later!)

There's a good side to "bad" planets/asteroids/fixed stars, too.

Just wanted to leave that here. If neither of you minds - this is a really sensitive subject, so feel free to skip/say no, I'd be curious if you're going through similar transits.

posted October 07, 2013 11:13 AM            

Rie <3 the first time I saw this thread I immediately thought of you hehe.

About nessus, what you said make a lot of sense, I bet transiting nessus contributes to me being cranky, touchy and moody for the last couple of weeks. It’s now squaring my natal mars.

Geea, on that note about venus in the 12th, similar thing happens to me too. I feel uncomfortable when I get attention/indecent proposals from married men and men who know that I’m not available.

I’ve just read the thread and I gotta say that Zander, I think I have a similar thing with suddenly not wanting to talk/post. Not just here but in real life too.

I’ve been a like this for nearly a year now. I used to be a mouthy little **** who had to have an opinion on everything. Now I’m just ....... indifferent.

Usually when I’m typing a reply or when I’m about to talk, I’ll either forget things that I want to say, or my thoughts will start to drift and scatter. A serious case of "he opens his mouth but the words won't come out".

It usually leads to abrupt stops, vagueness, or it leads to me saying things that even I find weird. Like “Geez why did I say that, I don’t remember swallowing, injecting or inhaling any kind of drugs”.

posted October 07, 2013 12:44 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by meissieri:
^ Sure, just wanted to give you some support.

Ahhh yes, that changes things, doesn't it? It's great he was there for you, though. We need wise, experienced men. Glad you're not giving up yet. Just be easy on yourself with not trusting him completely yet. Those things take time. Once you get hurt, you want to protect yourself from going through it again. It's totally normal.

Oh, I hope you didn't edit it because I joined in! But I think he's read it.

---

posted October 07, 2013 03:06 PM            

It's really weird how just suddenly, it's effortless really to just browse around LL so briefly and occasionally. I do the same thing with Facebook.
So I go over to the Astrology 2.0 section. Literally spend about one minute or two scanning the topics and most of the time I don't even open any. Just breeze through and leave. This is the ONLY thread that I check regularly. I find it fascinating almost even though it's myself how that desire just disappears.

An astrologer told me that I will naturally draw in, and be drawn to "Zeneth the Warrior Princess" type of women. LOL She called it "yoga for the soul". Stretching me.
Which is true really. Each one has changed me to some extent. I feel like now, I'm capable myself to make a big commitment and stick with it. I'm just really cautious and picky. Not afraid, I just know what I want (being realistic) and won't accept much less.

I've had lot of either rough relationships or smooth ones that ended badly. It's okay. I mean of course at those times a person is all emotionally charged up and etc. But, when I look back at them now. It's not really emotional at all. I almost see those things as like.... a college class. "What did I learn?" sort of thing - education. Wisdom gained, experience.... stories to tell.

I used to dwell on the past and it's not as if I NEVER do. I'm human, but for the most part I try to always prepare for what's ahead. I'll use my personal history to better my future so that I don't fall into any traps again, set by others or myself.

Anyway, I better head to work and make some money!

posted October 07, 2013 05:46 PM            

Yeah, that downtime for 12th housers/Neptunians? Same here, same here. Right now, actually.