posted February 21, 2014 12:11 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Lavender CrystalSwan:
From my understanding, TwinFlames don't have past lives.
That is because prior to coming down on earth, they were already a one soul, one entity.
It is only when they came to 3–dimensional reality that they took on two forms of male and female, because that is the natural law of this planet; opposites, yin/yang.

It is soulmates that usually tend to have karma from past lives, and go lifetime after lifetime searching for and reconnecting with one another.
Simply for gaining experience towards becoming a graduate soul.

TwinFlames however are multidimension beings, and therefore have soul extensions in parallel realities.
They are there in case they decide to blow it lol, so they are acting as "back ups", in a way.
And in those parallel realities their soul extensions can play any role, be with and marry other people as well, which will be soulmates, or they can be with their own twins.
They are having an human experience afterall.

But I do agree with you on the good karma stuff—I like calling it destiny, personally.

---

I've read something different, they will have lives gathering information separately and potentially meet a few times, why does it seem it said it was 12 or under times they might come into contact with each other?! As they grow to a place they are ready reunite and complete their cycle they come back together!

posted February 21, 2014 12:18 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Lavender CrystalSwan:
Actually, parallel realities and past lives are the same thing lol.

Everything is existing in the now, every time frame, every time line, they're all co-existing together as parallel realities.

I suggest you search up Bashar, his teachings are very profound on this subject!

---

Heh. That was the understanding I came to at age 8. I'm glad to see the world's catching up. 😉

It was logic, really. Combining Einstein and Cayce, with the work done by Heisenberg, Schrodinger and Feynman - it just makes sense.

posted February 21, 2014 12:20 PM            

We were somewhere that I don't immediately recognise, but felt familiar. We were all there. My family was, too.

And, for some reason, I wasn't shy at all about being around him, (as in, I spent about 5 minutes before deciding I was going to spend every minute with him I could while we were in the same space, and did.)

The highlights for me were how natural it was to be around each other for several hours, rather than a couple or a few. I recall that he'd jotted a few things down in one particular notebook as he was digging through what he'd brought with him - and he gave it to me. I have no idea why, logically. There, it made some sort of sense, and I was ecstatic. He gave me one of his notebooks! Heh.

We spent literally every hour in each other's company that we could. I had no idea why we were there, or how long it'd last. He'd lie on a bed or sofa, propped upon his arms; I'd lie on the floor some padding below it, looking up at him, so that he was upside down from my vantage. We'd talk, even just about nothing, and quietly stay in each other's presence, going about other things. We were so close. It felt wonderful.

I thought suddenly that, if I moved quickly ahead, to the hour before we were leaving, would I be all right if it remained this way between us?

No, it was definitely missing. The undercurrent of something unexpressed was incessantly there, and I couldn't quite take it upon myself to nudge the issue yet. But a part of me felt it was undone, incomplete, until I did.

And that was all. That lingering feeling, the thought that, if I never addressed it again, there would be this wonderful companionship with something missing between us.

I've not had much of a chance to reflect upon it beyond that. But he's never been so involved in a dream like that before. And two in a single night? Wow.

posted February 21, 2014 12:51 PM              

I agree with you.
Though it does depend a little how we understand "Karma".

But yes, that is what I mean by saying: many theories float around...

And we tend to incorporate the one that resonate with us at this given moment in time.

To be honest, not many of the people posting videos on twinflames out there, really resonate with me.
OR actually they do resonate, but usually a little dis-sonantly.

I remember I was having my experiences when I was younger, but dismissing them as fantasy later on, delusions of a school-girl.

But many years later a friend, who did not know about these experiences of mine (I wouldn´t tell anyone to not be considered a total nutcase or completely delusional), started having spiritual experiences, and she trusted me, so she started talking about them, and imagine my surprise to hear my own experiences described again to me, like an echo almost, it was almost creepy how identically (to most part) we experienced it, though we might have used different terminology.

posted February 21, 2014 12:56 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Lavender CrystalSwan:
From my understanding, TwinFlames don't have past lives.
That is because prior to coming down on earth, they were already a one soul, one entity.
It is only when they came to 3–dimensional reality that they took on two forms of male and female, because that is the natural law of this planet; opposites, yin/yang.

It is soulmates that usually tend to have karma from past lives, and go lifetime after lifetime searching for and reconnecting with one another.
Simply for gaining experience towards becoming a graduate soul.

TwinFlames however are multidimension beings, and therefore have soul extensions in parallel realities.
They are there in case they decide to blow it lol, so they are acting as "back ups", in a way.
And in those parallel realities their soul extensions can play any role, be with and marry other people as well, which will be soulmates, or they can be with their own twins.
They are having an human experience afterall.

But I do agree with you on the good karma stuff—I like calling it destiny, personally.

---

That's eerie, as it's the experience all of my characters keep having.

I've spent many years trying to develop a new form, a new method of storytelling, which encompasses the means by which I understand time.

Traditional linear narrative is so monodimensional to me. So I began working to better understand how on earth I could film that; and no one has a clue. No one has answers.

Fate innovated a brilliant new means of structuring a multidimensional timeline. Bless him for that.

My Hatter has been playing with complex nonlinear narrative, but not for ensemble. He mastered the 3-Act structure in many variations, and is branching out.

But I had to teach myself, with instinct, philosophy, physics, and applying what I know.

If I'm drawing some strange truth from my works, it's this:

• an unknown number of eigenstates are occurring at any given time, though only one is observed.

• a multidimensional being (or several) who is prominent in the story, typically as a protagonist (or even contagonist and antagonist) must learn to use the innate ability to have awareness of the other eigenstates (timelines) wisely.

• that which occurs in one CAN impact the others.

• these eigenstates can be and often are vastly different with some crucial piece which the Observer must acquire in order to find truth and understanding.

• pairs of two, or simply just a single pair of two, are driving the narrative, impacting the throughline, in a non-traditional, unconventional 'love story' theme rife with paranormal / supernatural experiences, past betrayals, unknown memories (amnesiac experiences), sacrificial themes, death, rebirth, transformation, and after much endured, a reunion which completes the timeline. That's officially 'the end'.

• what's officially 'the end' has been known to carry on endlessly, since time is nonlinear.

When I first told my mother that, if she says that time is nonlinear, and the past, present, and future happen in simultaneity, then wouldn't 'past lives' be concurrent lives in other dimensions of time?

That's when it came to be rather accepted the reason my dreams feature locations which are just as known to me, even though they 'don't exist', is because they DO. These are just the other dimensions of me in other eigenstates, on as consecutive a timeline as any other: growing, making friends, enemies, enduring, celebrating - living.

Same with my parents. We 'live another life' in the dreamstate. Many, actually.

This may explain my bizarre levels of expertise in more areas than is common. In THOSE eigenstates, I'm quite different from the way I am here. But it seems to bleed over into my skill set. I've no idea how else to explain it.

Several of the people here are there, too; but there are many I've never met. Or haven't yet.

So, is this karma?

Maybe. I DO feel more akin to the notion that emerges in my fiction; where several individuals, and almost always pairs of two, are going through many eigenstates together, learning, growing, and - if possible, here, since they're lucky - able to consolidate the knowledge and experiences across them all.

I'd say I started doing that in 2000.

To me, it makes more sense. Because I've felt, in no certain order, very close 'past life ties' to:

• Alice Pleasance Liddell, Margaretha Geetrude Zelle (Mata Hari), Anastasia Romanov, Anne Boleyn, anything in the Arthurian period, a Shieldmaiden or two, certain Grecian nobility, many, and I mean MANY, futuristic or otherwise extraterrestrial nobility, certain sopranos (from the time of Gaston Leroux, Maria Callas, even the 1960s), several Victoriana types (both Ripper victims had the detectives pursuing him), OSS agents at the time of WW2, (and in a complicated relationship with an SS guy - don't ask! Heh. Oh, the Salem Witch Trials. Jean D'Arc! Ugh. Being burnt alive. Damn those ignorant fools. Anyway.)

... and that's a very rough sketch.

How one person can feel connected to THAT many eras to where they 'know' things they can't? It's just not possible. But it's somehow true.

I began dancing seductively way too young - and only in private, because I simply liked it; Zelle was executed on my birthday. I reading about the pounding of the drums, I dropped the book and began crying, shouting in French and bawling. I had wanted to study French since my youth, too. Taught myself quite a bit. But here, I was protesting. (Same thing in Tosca. I ended up bursting into tears at the drums of the execution scene; gripping my friend's hand, almost leaving the theatre.)

That's just one example. The year all the hubbub about the Romanovs resurfaced was a hard year for me. Augh. Rough dreams.

Anyhow.

These days, I take it like Dax from Deep Space Nine. I just accept that, yeah, I've been executed several times. It sucked. I've also killed - plenty - been killed - plenty - and have some understanding of most experiences.

How or why, I blame my dreams. But those dreams seem to me clues from other eigenstates I'm living.

posted February 21, 2014 01:07 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ceridwen:
To be honest, not many of the people posting videos on twinflames out there, really resonate with me.
OR actually they do resonate, but usually a little dis-sonantly.

---

Exactly, Ceri. Exactly.

I feel like I have to carve a new way. That I have information that they don't quite seem to be getting. Maybe it's for those of us who are part of something else?

posted February 21, 2014 01:11 PM              

quote:

---

Originally posted by Gabby:

I've read something different, they will have lives gathering information separately and potentially meet a few times, why does it seem it said it was 12 or under times they might come into contact with each other?! As they grow to a place they are ready reunite and complete their cycle they come back together!

Plus, your karma is going to aspect them in some way...there is no way an asteroid cannot touch another's chart in some way!! Even if it's not major it's still shows their is karma there....karma isn't possible to have unless you've had experience with that particular soul before!
The ppl who think that would also be saying some asteroids and their aspects don't mean anything!
In my opinion that's not possible, the aspects are showing a past life karma of some sort!??
To me that says the theory of never have been together before cannot be right!
There is so many theories....that one to me doesn't make sense, IMHO! Sorry??

---

There is a lot of false info out there on the internet.
And some of it is written by people who aren't even in a twinflame union, and nor do they have any first hand experience of it. (Some individuals, not all).
I don't like that because what its doing is misguiding others, and leaving them confused in the end.

The only info I feel is legit is that of Mel and Nichole's (and a very few other AUTHENTIC tfs), because they have almost 20 years of experience, and I vibe at their level. Their info really resonates with me.

The lifetime after lifetime thing is usually soulmates.
They need that in order to gain experience.

For TFs, the gathering info bit I feel doesn't need several lifetimes to do, as they are already graduates.
They wouldn't need to incarnate again and again because they already have all the skills that they need.

Now in this lifetime, they just have to learn to put their skills/abilities to good use for humanity and clear their genealogy's energetic patterns.

posted February 21, 2014 01:20 PM              

quote:

---

Originally posted by Gabby:

Plus, your karma is going to aspect them in some way...there is no way an asteroid cannot touch another's chart in some way!! Even if it's not major it's still shows their is karma there....karma isn't possible to have unless you've had experience with that particular soul before!
The ppl who think that would also be saying some asteroids and their aspects don't mean anything!
In my opinion that's not possible, the aspects are showing a past life karma of some sort!??
To me that says the theory of never have been together before cannot be right!
There is so many theories....that one to me doesn't make sense, IMHO! Sorry??

---

I think it depends on what each person's own definition is of "karma"...
For some, it may be something negative and burdensome, for others, it can mean something like fate or destiny.
I see it as destiny.

But I don't agree on the theory that tfs had any previous lifetime karma which brought them together.

Of course it was preplanned by them to meet and all, but it wasn't something that was the consequence of their actions from previous lifetimes, that brought them together, because they were one soul afterall before becoming graduates... So it would not make any sense?

posted February 21, 2014 01:20 PM              

BTW you mentioned several I resonated with for all my life, too.

°Anastasia Romanov
- not Anastasia, though, but to a degree her mother; however the dream I had was about Jelena Petrovna (a name I had not even heard until the dream - though as a kid, when my Mom would wake me from a halfsleep, and I was kinda sleeping still, I would answer her back in Russian instead of German. lol)

°Anne Boleyn,
same time, but resonated most with Catherine of Aragorn

But even more than that Catherine Valois (the wife of Henry V - BEFORE Jude played him. The other historical pairing that eerily gives me that Jude-feeling, is Sir Alfred Douglas - yes the one who was lover of Oscar Wilde for a time- and his wife Olive Custenance - you should see the chart comparision. lol)

°
anything in the Arthurian period,
Check

"uturistic or otherwise extraterrestrial nobility,"
I rather not get into THESE dreams. lol

rom the time of Gaston Leroux,
The Phantom of the Opera, I was SO living there while reading. Re-living so to speak.
actually when I visited the Old Opera, I heard music and singing (I swear), but noone was even there.

OSS agents at the time of WW2, (and in a complicated relationship with an SS guy - don't ask!
WW2, yes, sequence of dreams over my whole life, starting from childhood. Inhabitant of concentration camp. Very complicated relationship with an SS guy (one of the very very few real past-life or parallel-life dreams in which Jude took place, and I really would not have dreamed up that stuff, it was traumatic).

From that dream I learned what hunger is and what you are willing to do if you are reduced to that level of merely existing. The answer is: ANYTHING.

The sentence that stuck to me from that dream, and I do not agree with that today. lol, andh ope I hwill never have to prove it again: "Pride and dignity is for the well-fed."

h, the Salem Witch Trials.
Yes.
One of the earliest memories of mine. Smelling burning flesh. REally horrific, if it is your own.
I was actually born with a birthmark that looked like a huge burn-scar. Was (and still am) terrified of fire, won´t get near to it. Ever. Even wary of candles.

Well, it is something of a joke for my parents. Because of my untameable hair my mom sometimes calles me a "wi tch" (and has warned me early on not to be so open with astrology and that stuff, cause in "another century we would have been burned for that" and my Dad usually likens me to an "angel" because in a certain light he thinks my hair looks like a halo. ROFL

Neither witch nor angel, but it is funny.

posted February 21, 2014 01:21 PM              

quote:

---

Originally posted by IndigoDirae:
Heh. That was the understanding I came to at age 8. I'm glad to see the world's catching up. 😉

---

posted February 21, 2014 01:33 PM              

quote:

---

Originally posted by IndigoDirae:
That's eerie, as it's the experience all of my characters keep having.

I've spent many years trying to develop a new form, a new method of storytelling, which encompasses the means by which I understand time.

Traditional linear narrative is so monodimensional to me. So I began working to better understand how on earth I could film that; and no one has a clue. No one has answers.

Fate innovated a brilliant new means of structuring a multidimensional timeline. Bless him for that.

My Hatter has been playing with complex nonlinear narrative, but not for ensemble. He mastered the 3-Act structure in many variations, and is branching out.

But I had to teach myself, with instinct, philosophy, physics, and applying what I know.

If I'm drawing some strange truth from my works, it's this:

• an unknown number of eigenstates are occurring at any given time, though only one is observed.

• a multidimensional being (or several) who is prominent in the story, typically as a protagonist (or even contagonist and antagonist) must learn to use the innate ability to have awareness of the other eigenstates (timelines) wisely.

• that which occurs in one CAN impact the others.

• these eigenstates can be and often are vastly different with some crucial piece which the Observer must acquire in order to find truth and understanding.

• pairs of two, or simply just a single pair of two, are driving the narrative, impacting the throughline, in a non-traditional, unconventional 'love story' theme rife with paranormal / supernatural experiences, past betrayals, unknown memories (amnesiac experiences), sacrificial themes, death, rebirth, transformation, and after much endured, a reunion which completes the timeline. That's officially 'the end'.

• what's officially 'the end' has been known to carry on endlessly, since time is nonlinear.

When I first told my mother that, if she says that time is nonlinear, and the past, present, and future happen in simultaneity, then wouldn't 'past lives' be concurrent lives in other dimensions of time?

That's when it came to be rather accepted the reason my dreams feature locations which are just as known to me, even though they 'don't exist', is because they DO. These are just the other dimensions of me in other eigenstates, on as consecutive a timeline as any other: growing, making friends, enemies, enduring, celebrating - living.

Same with my parents. We 'live another life' in the dreamstate. Many, actually.

This may explain my bizarre levels of expertise in more areas than is common. In THOSE eigenstates, I'm quite different from the way I am here. But it seems to bleed over into my skill set. I've no idea how else to explain it.

Several of the people here are there, too; but there are many I've never met. Or haven't yet.

So, is this karma?

Maybe. I DO feel more akin to the notion that emerges in my fiction; where several individuals, and almost always pairs of two, are going through many eigenstates together, learning, growing, and - if possible, here, since they're lucky - able to consolidate the knowledge and experiences across them all.

I'd say I started doing that in 2000.

To me, it makes more sense. Because I've felt, in no certain order, very close 'past life ties' to:

• Alice Pleasance Liddell, Margaretha Geetrude Zelle (Mata Hari), Anastasia Romanov, Anne Boleyn, anything in the Arthurian period, a Shieldmaiden or two, certain Grecian nobility, many, and I mean MANY, futuristic or otherwise extraterrestrial nobility, certain sopranos (from the time of Gaston Leroux, Maria Callas, even the 1960s), several Victoriana types (both Ripper victims had the detectives pursuing him), OSS agents at the time of WW2, (and in a complicated relationship with an SS guy - don't ask! Heh. Oh, the Salem Witch Trials. Jean D'Arc! Ugh. Being burnt alive. Damn those ignorant fools. Anyway.)

... and that's a very rough sketch.

How one person can feel connected to THAT many eras to where they 'know' things they can't? It's just not possible. But it's somehow true.

I began dancing seductively way too young - and only in private, because I simply liked it; Zelle was executed on my birthday. I reading about the pounding of the drums, I dropped the book and began crying, shouting in French and bawling. I had wanted to study French since my youth, too. Taught myself quite a bit. But here, I was protesting. (Same thing in Tosca. I ended up bursting into tears at the drums of the execution scene; gripping my friend's hand, almost leaving the theatre.)

That's just one example. The year all the hubbub about the Romanovs resurfaced was a hard year for me. Augh. Rough dreams.

Anyhow.

These days, I take it like Dax from Deep Space Nine. I just accept that, yeah, I've been executed several times. It sucked. I've also killed - plenty - been killed - plenty - and have some understanding of most experiences.

How or why, I blame my dreams. But those dreams seem to me clues from other eigenstates I'm living.

I dunno. Is that true for everyone? I think I take it for granted.

---

That's very incredible, Indigo!
Funnily, one of the individuals you mentioned has a name very similar to mine... I will go search her up lol.

posted February 21, 2014 01:49 PM              

quote:

---

Originally posted by micole maree:
but my brother was born in 1974 and exhibits ALL of the Indigo characteristics.

---

Hi Michelle,

welcome and I for once will gladly hear your experiences, if you like to share.

Btw I was born in 1974, too, like your brother. 18th december (right on the GC ).

I once read that the Indigo, Chrystal, Rainbow children are shaped by outer planets, too. as a generation I mean.

In my case Uranus had just ingressed to Scorpio (1 Scorpio in my chart), though I wouldn´t call myself Indigo.

My brother on the othr hand, oh boy, the term could have been invented for him. lol
He was born in 1983 though.

I could imagine the batch with NEptune in scorpio having quite intense spiritual experiences as well (if Neptune plays a vital role in their chart), the Pluto in Scorpio generation, even more intense, probably compulsive.
And now we also have those with an outer planet conjunct the GC, which wouldh ave been the case for Neptune, in the early 80`s I think.

posted February 21, 2014 01:51 PM              

quote:

---

Originally posted by Lavender CrystalSwan:

I should also mention this.
I recently had a reading done by iq.
In short, he mentioned we have a very strong soulful connection, along with some of the major clues of being TwinFlames, in our charts.
He said it was pretty much fated for us to meet and marry; that Virgo guy was meant to take care of me. I did not expect that last bit lol.

---

posted February 21, 2014 01:56 PM              

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ceridwen:

---

posted February 21, 2014 02:03 PM            

And, for those unfamiliar (as I was), this whole concept of lover versus lover, or, one side or the other, 'man, it sucks I've got to kill you, because I love you.' Call it karma or what-have-you.

Deviche and Castalia. Schyler and Attley. Lochlan and Fiona. Penderan and Riley. Hatter and Alice. Lane and Thierry. Jason and Straker ....

Just always the same bloody thing. Since 1993. I'm not sure what to call it. But it's pervasive.

Maybe it started with my mother training me for survival at a very young age. Mixed with love and devotion, it was 'now, remember there may come a time when it's them or you. You act without hesitation, and when you shoot, you shoot to kill.'

I come from an arguably violent 'karma'. A lot of blood on my hands, it would seem. Fate as well. And several others.

I can't help but watch this feature and think, 'yep. Been there.' Won, lost, everything in between.

That she chose 12 to participate in the 'game', which no doubt signifies a barbaric period in human history (and, to have her main character hail from the Depression Era? Very intriguing move there) was especially intriguing.

It's a number on the human consciousness. 12.

Why?

Just my cold medicine induced blathering. Heh.

... They're under a giant dome?

... This movie makes me uncomfortable. Apparently I need to see what's up with this author. Well, astrologically. We must have some links, as that's a bit too close.

Hm. 21 / 02 / 2014. It's a 12 day, too. And 11:01, as I wrote that. Very curious.

posted February 21, 2014 02:17 PM              

quote:

---

Originally posted by IndigoDirae:

I had just been noticing how I look like a long-lost Fate sister.

---

That is interesting. A bit ago I wrote to a friend how much I am shocked at the "family-resemblance" to Jude`s family.

I mean first I saw a pic of his Dad and first thought: What on earth is my maternal grandfather doing there with him?
It was only on second glance I realized the tiny differences.

Then there is a picture of Jude and his little son from some years ago, and it fascinated me, cause we have the same picture in our photobook, just my Dad and me. Not only did Jude look very much like my Dad in that pic, complete with the way he stood, but his little son looked so much like me when I was a little kid.
I think it must have been before my eyes switched their colour (they were blue, and switched to green overnight. But i think that happens quite frequently with children).

And then someone else told me how much I resemble his sister (well I thought she was looking like a mix of my mother and my aunt, not just lookwise but in terms of energy as well).

It just astounded me. But I figured that maybe that is one of the reasons I feel that familiarity with him, cause something about his look just "fits" into my family. lol

But interstingly the feeling of familiarity I have with Mr Sag (meeting him felt like meeting up with a long lost cousin or family member or something like that, I hadn`t seen for some time and sort of forgot, but once we met, it was just like old times - just that there are no old times, at least not in this life or this dimension).

At least he doesn`t quite look as my Dad. lol
Though his mom has the same asessing x-ray-stare my mom has. She makes me a bit uncomfortable as those times I crossed paths with her, I felt like being under a microscope or worse in the Egyptian underworld and my soul being weighed. lol
I am sure I am delusional, but she just reminded me so much of my own Mom, I wonder if she is a Scorpio, too. lol

posted February 21, 2014 02:18 PM            

Her MOON might be on the GC, but her VENUS is right on the SGC.

posted February 21, 2014 02:22 PM              

I totally get what you were writing about here

"Well for me its whenever I think of him or he just randomly "pops up", I start to feel butterflies and vibrations in my heart (not stomach lol)."
4

Sometimes I will get these symptoms, without having thought of him before consciously.
But then ou of the blue - wham!- it is like I am being hit/ struck by a wave of his energy, what his energy feels to me when I am in his proximity, as if he would be here. Sometimes so intense that against better knowledge i have to turn around and check he is not really standing behind me. lol

"Expanded? Lol."
Yes, VERY expanded. Euphoric. Feeling of love that encompasses all the world and cannot be contained inside.

"It kind of feels like mini–orgasms happening in my HEART and solar plexus rather than where they normally should LOLOL"
I like that expression, very apt for my experience, too

"I feel this sensation spread out in all sorts of directions and all my chakras come alive. Its like a vibrating/tingling sensation in my whole being."
Yes. Often a feeling as being stroked by an electric cord, too. Which at first led me to the assumption I was having a stroke. lol

"It can get so intense sometimes that I have to just breathe and lie down lol."
Yes, same here.

Actually once during a concert of him, when he had to be standing just in front of me and beside me, that experience suddenly got so intense, I was feeling as if I was on the brink of passing out.
I.do.not.pass.out.just because a man is near. But these moments?
Oh boy....

On the other hand the last time we talked, I did not get the passing-out-feeling, it was just a natural thing to do, and felt more carefree, easy, light. In a deep intense way, if that makes sense. At least to me.
It almost made me laugh though how much he seemed to try to "crawl" into me (well not really, but for some reason the normal distance zones do not work for us, if we talk even though technically we do not even know each other. But from the first meeting on he always comes so close that one more step and we would have to hug or we would tumble and fall. lol

And then it also struck me, how it felt like we hadn`t been separated at all (well to be separted, you have to know each other well, which we don`t, in this physical dimension, but still it feels like meeting - again), as if I am a constant part of his world, so it is no surprise and not unexpected that I show up and talk to him (and that after being in ignorance mode for so so so long).

Maybe it is just his natural talent making people feel welcome. lol
But it certainly stunned me. Those few times we bumped into each other, it almost seemed as if he had been waiting for it to happen. It is weird. And crazy. And makes me feel wonderfully at ease. lol

He is just a nice guy I suppose.

posted February 21, 2014 02:38 PM              

It hits int he solar plexus and spreads from there throughout all the other chakras, though it doesn`t hit from the outside. It is more like it is ignited from the inside and burns on from there.

posted February 21, 2014 02:59 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Lavender CrystalSwan:
There is a lot of false info out there on the internet.

The only info I feel is legit is that of Mel and Nichole's (and a very few other AUTHENTIC tfs), because they have almost 20 years of experience, and I vibe at their level. Their info really resonates with me.

---

Funny thing about Mel.

I had this sense, pretty much immediately, that we were very old rivals.

Imagine a council. There's decorum, but polite argumentation. Simply, he and I never agreed on much. But that was okay.

Now, there's a part of me that rolls my eyes and sighs, thinking, 'yep. Same old, same old.' Like some things never change.

So, I feel that he gets certain things wrong, within an acceptable margin. I've no idea WHY I feel this way; I just do. I also feel it's 'the way it is' and I don't challenge it.

Ever see scientists disagree? Professional colleagues? It's much the same. He's not quite right, nor is he very wrong. I have a different 'experience' in some ways than he does.

If anything, my take home message is to not treat it, or anything, like gospel. It simply isn't. It's just the opinions of one who is experienced, and knowledgeable, whose experience differs from mine, and some others.

posted February 21, 2014 03:05 PM              

quote:

---

Originally posted by IndigoDirae:
Funny thing about Mel.

I had this sense, pretty much immediately, that we were very old rivals.

Imagine a council. There's decorum, but polite argumentation. Simply, he and I never agreed on much. But that was okay.

Now, there's a part of me that rolls my eyes and sighs, thinking, 'yep. Same old, same old.' Like some things never change.

.

---

I didn`t dare say it, but I had the same feeling.

He is one who resonates dis-sonantly with me, but at the same time I respect him, from the videos he did.

posted February 21, 2014 04:19 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ceridwen:
And then it also struck me, how it felt like we hadn`t been separated at all (well to be separted, you have to know each other well, which we don`t, in this physical dimension, but still it feels like meeting - again), as if I am a constant part of his world, so it is no surprise and not unexpected that I show up and talk to him (and that after being in ignorance mode for so so so long).

---

Fate's much the same way; well, with me, he is. Even at our first actual physical meeting, we couldn't contain the sense of familiarity.

He really should've tried harder if he wanted to maintain his cover. Heh. But then, I'm not sure if he wanted to.

That's why I feel so certain he was going to tell me that next day. Why he was inviting me out for coffee, before suddenly chickening out. He really wanted more time, but feared the inevitable question would surface. I wonder if it would. I mean, it'd been 5 years already! I wasn't going to if he wasn't!

But I know how those meeting in person can feel strange when it happens. We never did. The only anxiety came from having to keep up appearances. Constantly thinking, does he not know I know? Does he think I do? Knowing he was thinking, does she know? Is she buying it? She DOES know, doesn't she? Why isn't she exposing me?

Oh, such a mess.

But the fact he lied to me like that ... when I KNEW. I just KNEW and was only searching for proof ... it was too much to take.

I'd fallen for him so unreasonably fast, (and I DON'T EVER DO that!) that my logical mind kicked in and said, I can't invest so much in this man. I can't.

And I convinced myself it was in my head; that he lied to me because he didn't care - or nearly as much - certainly didn't love me - and I had to force myself to move on. I honestly thought I had, too. But ... of course, LACHESIS brought us back together, and it's like we were never apart.

But just after that ... my deciding to take the engagement seriously .... I'll never forget the way he stopped posting on, sharing, and Liking things on my Facebook. After I announced it.

It was his 25th birthday, too. I just saw the wonderful photos from the party. 2009. It was the morning of the 20th; I was in Vegas (for a convention and to see friends). He'd asked late on the 19th. I told my closest friends, and then made the post on the morning of the 20th.

He acted oblivious to it. Everything up to it, had received wonderful comments, Likes - y'know, appreciation. Presence. Consideration. As if to say, 'I'm here.'

Not that one.

I noticed how sad he was in the photos of his party. Now, his father passed 6 months prior. But this was recent. They weren't close. Estranged. Bad relations. But I noticed he'd clearly been crying. Him! HE had been crying!

It took me until now to put it together.

Sigh.

I've gotten VERY angry with others if they contributed to my having to hurt him. And disappointing him is a thing that I can't deal with. It cuts me to the quick. Just, really, really does. Feeling any of his pain sends me into a rage. And if it was my doing - directed at myself.

I hate what happened. But I felt powerless, too.

Yes, I think this is how it was supposed to have gone; my stepdaughter needs me. But hurting him the way I did ... destroying a part of him that is within myself destroyed ....

But he lied to me. He lied to my face!

I was in love with a phantom. An intangible being. Words on a screen with no location (merely a birthday) and no other means to contact him than an Internet connexion.

I couldn't change course so dramatically with everything being so uncertain - my feelings be damned. While I KNEW what I KNEW, HE was lying, denying the truth - and I knew that without that honesty we'd never have ANYTHING.

So I'm more grateful than I can say, since we found it; 2 years later, by his own admission. 20 December 2011.

I thought it'd be the last obstacle. Heh. Oh, how naive. The trials and tribulations were yet to begin. But, so far, we've made it through the majority of them.

And now we have honesty. We're rebuilding trust. We have companionship, too.

And I will NEVER let him down AGAIN. Not in ANY way. Period.

And that feels good. It feels right to me. Even if there's a long way to go.

posted February 21, 2014 04:26 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ceridwen:
It`s true - to an extent- for me.

BTW you mentioned several I resonated with for all my life, too.

---

That's not at all surprising to me, Ceri, that we'd resonate with those who had some sort of connexion in these historical periods. That makes a lot of sense, really.

posted February 21, 2014 04:31 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ceridwen:
I didn`t dare say it, but I had the same feeling.

He is one who resonates dis-sonantly with me, but at the same time I respect him, from the videos he did.

---

My D-ASC is 22° ARI; 12H VENUS 1.5° conjunct. I think my H-MARS is 0° ARI, too.

That 'mode' of mine, the one I think of as 'Castalian' - the 'Indigo soul' ... when I'm compelled by that, I'm surprised how forward and blunt I can be.

But then I'm a natal T-MARS in 0° SAG, BML-SUN-PLUTO. In LIB, but, nonetheless.

I'm relieved - deeply - on some level that you feel much the same, Ceri. I was certainly feeling the odd-one-out in that regard. Bit of an uncomfortable thing, going against the grain.

But that MOON-URA will do so when needed. SCO. 3H, after all.

posted February 21, 2014 06:12 PM              

even if I am not saying much about what you share here about Fata and you. I read. And I am touched by it. I soak it in (wrong expression I think. lol).

What an amazing journey you have already made (and still are on).
To a certain degree (though not in all respects of course) it mirrors my own.

Also what you said earlier today or yesterday, about even if he was not your TF, you`d be just grateful for him in your life, as in a way he taught you to love (not because he did something, but just because he "is") - it feels very familiar to me.

A few years ago I was very puzzled about how people could be so sure about loving someone (not in a family caring way, the other way). How did they know?
Even more so, how did they know what they felt was what they REALLY felt, and not something they just created in their mind, thinking themselves "into love", or even just reflecting back something fromt he outside, felings of other poeple. It might sound strange, but I supose that is the mix of my Aqua-Moon along with my sponge-like Neptune-on-ASC.

Someone (and I am not even embarassed to say that it was actually just someone in my mind-space, some strange sort of daydream-communication I sometimes seem to have with random celebrities, or not so random. In this case Alexander Skarsgard wanted to have a word with me so very badly, he kept haunting me for weeks, until I would accept at least listening, and it was him, or maybe just his projection into my mind, who told me this).

"A feeling is only true, if you feel it vibrating deeply in your body. NOt in your headspace. Within your entrails, physically. if you feel that, THEN you`ll know it`s true."

It did not make sense to me at that time. I never was a very physical person - I thought (but boy did I know myself badly. lol)- I did not feel things like this, how does it feel feeling inside your body?

Funnily a few years later I read an interview with Mr SAg where he literally said, when describing the process of acting: "Can you feel yourself from inside? You close your eyes, go deep within your body and put a hand on the outside of your body - that is to feel yourself. Are you ready to feel yourself?"

Needless to say it totally stunned me to realize that he gave this interview when I had this realization all at once, or given the mental advice.

I remember how once I bumped into him on a parking deck, just some months after meeting him (and of course acting stupidly - but that is a story for another day).
However, when I had passed him and was walking - on autopilot- on, I was having the weirdest feeling. I didn`t know something like that.
It was like my entrails were dancing kasachok, and I was literally pressing both hands onto my sides, at the level of my solar plexus as a matter of fact, as if afraid, my body would rip open and couldn´t contain what was inside, and it took a while until my entrails remembered where their original place was and returned to their seats, stopping fluttering around.

It was a shock, this reaction. it also was the first time (well no, actually when we first met something of that sort happened too) that I connected to that "feel yourself", I mean like in physically feeling, though physically does not cover it, I rather call it "somatic sense", but i do`t know if anyone else knows what I mean by that.

I always had difficulties to access my own feelings, as if they were hidden from me, vague, foggy, somehow out of reach, detachd from immediate experience (only true in retrospect, after analyis, in remembering), I never was really sure, really knew what I was feeling, of what I thought I was feeling was really a feeling and not a veiled thought.

In that moment there was no way to mistake this experience for anything but what it was. I felt. Intensely. Instantly. Presently. Here and Now.

Since then I know what it really means, and though I had my relapses (still have them at times), but I noticed that the more weight I lost (Minus 40 kilo so far), the closer to the surface my feelings came.
They are VERY close now. I do not always have names for what I feel. But I do feel. This I know.

And no matter what label I give this connection, what name I find for it, I will be eternally grateful for him being instrumental in this experience for me, this opening up - and yes, let`s face it my heartchakra needed a huge opening up, and that is what happened-
and even though I was refusing to admit it - even to myself, as I am so very good in selfdenial- for years, it`s true, I do feel for him. Something. Something greater, something beyond words, something that I do not have a category for, something that defies rigid defintions, something that my mind cannot grasp. But it`s something good. REALLY good.

Is it love?
I`ve been in love before I think. This is. Differnt. More. Deeper. Infinite. Yet not graspable - for me- in normal social terms. It`s just. different. And for once in my life my mind is completely speechless, thoughtless, not able to grasp, define, analyze, rationalize, put into words.
But my heart, my soul, knows.
I am not always sure what exactly my soul knows, but it knows. I still have to find a way to have my soul and heart clearly communicate with my mind. LOL