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Author Topic:   Twinflame Astrology: Techniques, Investigations, Validity
tgem
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posted March 09, 2014 10:25 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for tgem     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Ceridwen:
Maybe you would be together for YOU, both of you.

👍👍

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tgem
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posted March 09, 2014 10:31 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for tgem     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Ceridwen:
Not validated, no.

I never inquired about the possibility of him being my tf (BECAUSE I knew I really didn`t want to know probably. lol). It was IQ himself who brought up the subject. lol

Besides as much as I admire and respect IQ and it always leads me to new insights, reading something of him, noone, not even him, can confirm my TF, except myself. Though he might give a push to open up to thoughts into a certain direction.

Actually before Mr Sag he also had confirmed Jude as my twinflame, and another guy. Probably some sort of very close soulcluster going on there. lol
Also the first confirmation was years ago, and in the meantime IQ himself has modified some of his parameters concerning this, too.


However, as crazy as some of my experiences have been with others, too, noone beats Mr Sag in terms of crazy experiences. lol


"1. The state"
What do you mean by that?

"2. Chakras opening"
Yes. KUNDALINI RISING in capital letters.
After we first met I thought I was literally going crazy or dying. lol


Curiously, though by now of course I have gotten a little adapted to this, and it hasn`t been THAT strong like the first time aruond, last saturday though even though we did NOT talk to each other, I was experiencing this kind of electricity, almost as strong like after our first meeting, which I thought was a little weird. Why would it be that strong again after so many years?

"3. Multi-demensional awakening"
Avid visitor of the hypagnogic state now. Well always been, but I am more consciously doing it nowadays. Maybe it`S just fantasy though. lol


"4. Mole or spot on a finger? (That's kind of funny- like your branded to each "other)"


not that I know of.

"5. Falling ill after separating"
True for me.


Just after seeing him initially (and did not even become conscious of what was going on), I was falling ill but more so falling into deep depression, and suddenly frantically starting to wrap up all emotional residues from the past that were still blockin me (Tr Pluto was on my Sun as well).


I saw him 2 years later coincidentally, and the night after that, well, I suddenly was having a blind spot in my right eye, blood on my retina, which sounds worse than it is, it healted itself. But I jokingly was wondering: "What am I turning a blind eye to?"


After the real first meeting then, a few months later, I would suddenly have several bouts of Eye Migraine, which startled me quite a bit, but were harmless actually (however esoterically these are sometimes seen as symptoms of Kundalini Rising as well as opening of the chakras, especially third eye and crown-chakra, while your Ego is clinging to keep things closed - too much tension).

Over the next months, when I tried to turn back time, to return to how it was before, and stubbornly denying the impact he had on me, I would develop serious and persistent problems with my digestive system.

These only disappeared when I surrendered to the fact that there is no turning back this time.

And just last month I was suddenly feeling sick, without BEING sick; turned out that very day HE was being sick with a cold and needed to gather all the energy he could get to see through the show (of course he was working nevertheless, workaholic!).

Last saturday I was quite sick, as I mentioned, with dizziness and what else, and there was this moment when he was staring at me, and I am sure I got a little lsot in this moment, so canot really say for how long, but during it I felt like every cell of my being was being energized, and the dizziness just vaporized into nothing, and I have never felt stronger and more energizd before. It was almost like he had shared some of his energy with me.
Though maybe that, too, was just fantasy. LOL

No matter what it was, it felt pretty awesome.


Very cool and interesting...BTW for number 1, I meant to type "the stare"... Not the state.... Autocorrect ugh. Hat was the biggest hing for me...I've never experienced that with anyone...of course the other "symptoms" soon followed.

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tgem
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posted March 09, 2014 10:33 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for tgem     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Ceridwen:
Indigo,

could you share what made IQ come to this conclusion that you are tf`s who have to be together?

Was it something astrological, specifically?
Or something about your experiences together?


Yes, do tell!

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Ceridwen
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posted March 09, 2014 10:47 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by tgem:
Very cool and interesting...BTW for number 1, I meant to type "the stare"... Not the state.... Autocorrect ugh. Hat was the biggest hing for me...I've never experienced that with anyone...of course the other "symptoms" soon followed.

ah THAT stare you mean

Certainly.

Actually often when his look falls onto me, I swear I can see silver sparkles. Might just be the light though. lol

And actually sometimes I can`t quite look at him (and maybe he canīt eithr), because at least from my perspective it feels TOO personal, close, intimate.
I mean how can a look make you feel like you are completely naked?


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page one
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posted March 09, 2014 10:47 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Ceridwen:
Indigo,

could you share what made IQ come to this conclusion that you are tf`s who have to be together?

Was it something astrological, specifically?
Or something about your experiences together?


Me three. I'm been following along through 70 pages now, and I'd REALLY like to know what makes IQ 100% certain about this, especially in light of Indigo's own doubts.

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Ceridwen
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posted March 09, 2014 10:51 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by tgem:
Sooo...upon further investigation, knowing our Alfreda/alma conjunction in helio synastry is very wide at 5 degrees, I looked for more to see if anything would strengthen this very wide conjunction...here's what I found:

In Helio synastry:
Valentine trine Alma DW at 0 and 1 degrees
Alma square Alma exact
My valentine opposite his union (1)
My Alfreda semi-sextile his Earth/moon exact
My Alma semi-sextile his Union exact

His Alfreda square my Earth/moon exact (just realized it's a DW)
His Alma trine my venus exact and conjunct my Isis exact
His Karma conjunct my Pallas (0), Vesta (3) and Osiris (0).

Also:
My valentine parallel his Isis/Osiris conjunction
My Karma parallel his Valentine
My Union parallel his Union

@Ceri- your tight orb concept has TOTALLY rubbed off on me too LOL...that's why seeing that very wide 5 degrees for a conjunction made me dig further to try to add some strength to that .

Guys what do you think??


I LOVE that Valentine-Alma DW.


WEll, honestly, I wouldnīt use Alma and Alfreda as a pairing, or else I could use Marie and Pierre as well. lol

But Alma DOES mean soul, so having Alma configured with the unconditional love of Valentine sounds just so beautiful.


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tgem
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posted March 09, 2014 11:19 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for tgem     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yeah, you're probably right...best to probably just stick with the asteroids we already know are really important..

About that "stare" making you feel so naked? Oh yeah..been there. I would actually contribute that to Chiron..how about you?

Our Chirons aspect eachother's personal planets pretty heavily, including a Chiron Chiron conjunction.

In our tropical composite we have a venus/Chiron conjunction.

Have you ever heard the song, "Naked" by Enrique Iglesias feat. Dev?

PERFECT example of what I'm talking about!!
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Rpaif8sQveM

Mind you this is again one of the many songs he sent me...I feel it describes Chiron soooo much!!!

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Ceridwen
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posted March 09, 2014 11:46 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
"I would actually contribute that to Chiron..how about you?"
Yes, Chiron is very vulnerable and defenceless.

Other than that Iwould also contribute it to the IC, deepest part of the soul. What gets in there, REALLY touches.


"Our Chirons aspect eachother's personal planets pretty heavily, including a Chiron Chiron conjunction."

Depending on the orb.

My Chiron opposes his Pluto, along the composite nodal axis (my Chiron on SN, his Pluto on NN).

my Chiron is also parallel his Pluto (and Jupiter).


Trine his Neptune exactly

His Chiron trines my Venus at 3 degrees, quinkunx my Pluto and Neptune exactly (apex of a Yod, yes).

actually his Chiron is configured in what the Magi call a Magi 7 configuration, which is nothing else but a septile/ 7th harmonic pattern.


His Chiron is biseptile his Venus
my Mars is biseptile my Juno.

his Chiron is triseptile my Mars
his Chiron is septile my Juno
his Venus is septile my Mars
his Venus is septile my Juno.


Symmetrical pattern resulting in:

my Juno conjunct his Chiron/Venus-mp
his Venus conjunct my Mars/Juno-mp


"In our tropical composite we have a venus/Chiron conjunction."
Yes, that is one that comes up most often, Venus/Chiron of some sorts.

Well, we stay through to the 7th harmonic/ septile pattern of course in composite as well - our mixed Venus/Chiron-mps are conjunct each other exactly as well (hisChiron/myVEnus= his Venus/My Chiron).

So in the composite Venus is biseptile Chiron as well: 0°56, so one of the tighter pictures.

"Have you ever heard the song, "Naked" by Enrique Iglesias feat. Dev?"
No I hadn`t. STrong lyrics.

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Lavender CrystalSwan
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posted March 09, 2014 01:14 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by IndigoDirae:
AHA!

And you'll both be in Los Angeles, I'm guessing as well.


What makes you say that lol?

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Lavender CrystalSwan
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posted March 09, 2014 01:32 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by IndigoDirae:

Wanna know something crazy?

We met in 2006, when he was 22. I swear, looking back at him in his early 20s, he looked quite different, and more like his mother's heritage then. Now, however, he's either ended up looking more like his father's, or that thing that happens where you start resembling each other more has been taking place. You wouldn't even know he's got the heritage he has NOW.

That was kind of flabbergasting to me, when I went through older photos. I'd never noticed it before because of how different he was looking after we met.


That's so funny, after coming to know of him I also went through a drastic physical change, within only a matter of a few months.

Its more like I adjusted to his lineage and he adjusted to mine in a way, features wise LOL, up to the point of us not even looking like our own families.

I now have people asking me if I am of HIS heritage even.
Its especially noticeable when I dye my hair blonde, it looks almost too natural.

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Lavender CrystalSwan
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posted March 09, 2014 01:37 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Ceridwen:

Not that rare apparently, I am a 33, too. My lifepath is (funnily Mr Law is a 33, too - I tend to stick to the 3-6-9 or 11-22 numbers for some reason. lol)

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Lavender CrystalSwan
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posted March 09, 2014 01:57 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I just noticed that our birth months and birth days added together equals to 11!

My birth month: 9
His birth month: 9
9 + 9 = 9

My birth day: 1
His birth day: 1
1 + 1 = 2

So 9 + 2 = 11

Fascinating. Lol.

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Lavender CrystalSwan
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posted March 09, 2014 02:00 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Also,

My first name begins with the last letter of his last name,
His first name begins with the last letter of my name.

LOL

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Ceridwen
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posted March 09, 2014 02:47 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
This afternoon, at between 5:30 and 6:00 p.m., well starting right after 5 p.m. I think, I was sitting here, trying to do some work (correcting classtests), and had already corrected quite a few, totaly concentrated onm y task at hand, when I suddenly felt this shift of energy in the athmosphere.
I didnīt really pay attention, but returned to my work.
Then I felt, well something like a soft brushing of my left temple. I listened up, touched my temple to, wiping it, like wiping away the memory of this soft brush. And returned to my work.
This repeated a few times, all the time the energetic shift getting more and more dense.
Naturally I KNEW he couldn`t be standing behind me, looking over my shoulder and distracting me from my work, but it was his energy pattern that I sensed. Right out of the nothing. I hadn`t even really been thinking of him before.

Well, eventually I realized that I wouldnīt be able to concentrate on my work anymore, until I figured out what this was about.

So I walked over to my couch to meditate (sometimes if htere is a shift like this in the air, my subconsciousness wants to remind me that I need to meditate. If I am stubbornly refraining from listening, I sometimes will get so tired, that I almost have to lie down, so usually I listen more carefully nowadays).
I did not lie down though, but just sat there and closed my eyes, and found myself like being zapped into a dream. LOL
Just like that. One second here, the other somewhere else.
That somewhere was a rather small appartment in a wooden house, in the midst of some hills, very sunny and warm, and just extraordinarily beautiful. Though I don`t know why the TV was on. lol
I didn`t pay attention to this though, but was actually finding myself standing in front of him, or him in front of me, and with a slightly puzzled frown looking up at him, and he smiled slightly embarassed, shrugged his shoulders and said: "I am sorry. I`ve just been thinking of you."

And there was this feeling of chakra-aligning as well, which I sometimes have when falling asleep, but not during broad daylight, usually.


Well, that was a weird fantasy, right?
Or was it more? It felt very real. But then again some fantasies might feel real, too.
But even if it was not more than some strange daydream, on behalf of my subconsciousness, it left me with this wonderful feeling of golden light again.
Why is there always this serene warm golden light permeating "dreams" of him?
maybe I should ask my subconsciousness what it wants to tell me by bathing us constantly in this goldenness. lol

Anyway I thought that was a fitting thing to share, on my 11111th post. lol

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Lavender CrystalSwan
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posted March 09, 2014 02:55 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thats so beautiful Ceri!

I definitely think he may have been missing you lol.

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LeeLoo2014
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posted March 09, 2014 03:08 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
IndigoDirae, what do you mean by "strong patterns in Tropical Heliocentric."?

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Astro keen
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posted March 09, 2014 04:13 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ceri,

Congratulations on your 11111 th post. Many people helped, I'm sure, and astrology greatly shared.

I'm not sure it this has already been attempted as much has been written on asteroids and aspects, but would either you or Indigo venture to summarise some key TF essentials (as far as possible)? It would be great to make a start and further refinements could be added. If it is has been done then perhaps revisiting and adjusting in light of all that has been discussed would be good. Eventually resulting in something like iQ's soul mates checklist, perhaps?

Edit: Ok, just saw Indigo's very first post that she has now updated with a starter list of TF markers. Indigo, if you could add a few examples, that would lend greater clarity.
Actually keeping the first post for the checklist is a good idea, since it can be found easily.

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Lavender CrystalSwan
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posted March 09, 2014 04:43 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Astro keen:
Ceri,

Congratulations on your 11111 th post. Many people helped, I'm sure, and astrology greatly shared.

I'm not sure it this has already been attempted as much has been written on asteroids and aspects, but would either you or Indigo venture to summarise some key TF essentials (as far as possible)? It would be great to make a start and further refinements could be added. If it is has been done then perhaps revisiting and adjusting in light of all that has been discussed would be good. Eventually resulting in something like iQ's soul mates checklist, perhaps?



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Ceridwen
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posted March 09, 2014 04:56 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
The thing is I once had this. But I lost it in a compouter crash. *sniffles*

Well actually not concluding about twinflames, but it was more about the different types of soulmates or relationships. Where the emphasis lies.

Actually several theories of mine floating around somewhere here. lol

But bits and pieces usually.


The difficulty is that for trying such an approach, I would have to be convinced of one of the theories floating around.

Adhering to the theory that twinflames ALWAYS have a mission or how IQ defined it in relation to Indigo and Fate that the relationship itself is the mission, would necessarily lead to different conclusions about what we would expect to find.

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tgem
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posted March 09, 2014 05:52 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for tgem     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Ceridwen:
"I would actually contribute that to Chiron..how about you?"
Yes, Chiron is very vulnerable and defenceless.

Other than that Iwould also contribute it to the IC, deepest part of the soul. What gets in there, REALLY touches.

I'm not familiar at all with the septiles, bi's and tri's...I don't even know what strength they have..should I be
"Our Chirons aspect eachother's personal planets pretty heavily, including a Chiron Chiron conjunction."

Depending on the orb.

My Chiron opposes his Pluto, along the composite nodal axis (my Chiron on SN, his Pluto on NN).

my Chiron is also parallel his Pluto (and Jupiter).


Trine his Neptune exactly

His Chiron trines my Venus at 3 degrees, quinkunx my Pluto and Neptune exactly (apex of a Yod, yes).

actually his Chiron is configured in what the Magi call a Magi 7 configuration, which is nothing else but a septile/ 7th harmonic pattern.


His Chiron is biseptile his Venus
my Mars is biseptile my Juno.

his Chiron is triseptile my Mars
his Chiron is septile my Juno
his Venus is septile my Mars
his Venus is septile my Juno.


Symmetrical pattern resulting in:

my Juno conjunct his Chiron/Venus-mp
his Venus conjunct my Mars/Juno-mp


"In our tropical composite we have a venus/Chiron conjunction."
Yes, that is one that comes up most often, Venus/Chiron of some sorts.

Well, we stay through to the 7th harmonic/ septile pattern of course in composite as well - our mixed Venus/Chiron-mps are conjunct each other exactly as well (hisChiron/myVEnus= his Venus/My Chiron).

So in the composite Venus is biseptile Chiron as well: 0°56, so one of the tighter pictures.

"Have you ever heard the song, "Naked" by Enrique Iglesias feat. Dev?"
No I hadn`t. STrong lyrics.


I'm not familiar with the septiles, bi's and tri's. I don't even know what strength they have? Should I be checking for these? I agree about what hits the IC as well. Cusp's Pluto is parallel my IC...lovely..

I loved what you wrote about your "fantasy." That's why I think you need to talk with mr. Sag... I really really do. I mean ok..so it hasn't been confirmed by IQ that Cusp and Mr. Sag are our TF's but each and everyday, I feel like I already know they are....we've just all had so many of the same experiences with the astrology to prove it...some have stronger factors than others...but what if IQ is right? What if...for some of us...the mission is about us...and about actually coming together? How will Indigo do this? How will you do this? How will I? How will Lavender?

Maybe we are overlooking a very critical component of TF's...a mission about coming together through unconditional love and then spreading that unconditional love to others through each pair's own speciality..art, music, science..etc.

Just thinking......what if....

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tgem
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posted March 09, 2014 05:58 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for tgem     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by tgem:
Oh man, as Indigo and Ceri both know, I could just go on and on about this subject as I have been studying it intensely for quite some time. Here's what I agree with as far as TwinFlames:
1. Yes, all TF's are graduate souls. Not everyone is a TF, however. (It has been verified by a bonefide TF that works with other TF relationships that I am a graduate soul TF.)

2. The relationship is most definitely about a spiritual purpose together!..changing the old thought-patterns, raising conscoiusness, filling the world with unconditional love etc. No, the main feeling is not about romance and having a family blah blah, although it can and does happen.

3. Syncronicities are definitely important and will help you recognize your spiritual awakening and the recognition of one's TF.

4. You absolutely must go through soulmate relationships first (sometimes a few) before you meet your TF as the TF connection is so incredibly strong and hard. A TF will have difficult learning lessons before they meet and are put on this earth to experience the extreme highs and lows of relationships and soul growth.

5. One will have their spiritual awakening either right before or after meeting their TF. The awakening will completely breakdown and change one's previous beliefs about spirituality.

Upon investigation you find that TF's have lived almost completely parallel lives and you see yourself in the other person when you look at them.

So....it has been verified multiple times to me that I am a TF (one vibrates at a completely different/higher energic vibration) and that I have found mine. I started my spiritual awakening soon after I met him.

Our synastry is crazy, including the ASC/VTX DW along with soooo many other ties. DW's all over the place, mirroring and complementing, relationship asteroids extremely prominent including conjunct name asteroids, it goes on and on.

I haven't, until now, looked at 2Libra or 27Sagittarius being significant but here's what I found:

My NN is conjunct 2Lib tight, in my 4th house and my 12th house moon is trine 2Lib exact.

His moon is conjunct 27Sag tight and sextile his NN tight.

My Angel conjunct his vesta at 27Sag exact and his Angel opposite my 2Libra NN conjunction exact. His Merc square my NN and my neptune conjunct his moon (at 2 Lib and 27Sag.)

Composite: among others, we have vesta conjunct 2Lib tight, Juno conjunct 27Sag tight, venus trine 27Sag tight and Angel conjunct 27Sag exact.

Natal birthdays are important: 8's for instance.

Usually TF's have the number 15 assoc. with birthdays/meetings: we met on 3/15/10.

The synchronicities go on and on but I won't list them unless someone is interested.

Check Sabian Symbols as well: for instance my natal Karma is at 12Aries (A triangular shaped flock of white/wild geese). I believe it was IQ who told me this meaning can bring about the TF meeting.

Finally look for a lot of outer planet aspects in natal and synastry as those are mostly linked to spirituality, transformation etc. Example: the most prominent/dominent planets in my natal are Uranus, Neptune and Mercury.


My TF's most prominent/dominent planets are Pluto, Neptune and venus.. So you see we complement: head vs. heart plus spirituality and transformation.

P.S. all the above information I have determined from both extensive research, interviews and personal experience. I also believe we all have our own soul path we must walk and I am not nearly at a place where I can say I am more evolved than anyone else or could prove/disprove another's TF vs. soulmate experiences as I am new to this as well. For the record, me and my supposed TF are not physically together and we will never be able to have children together.


I'm still pretty sold on the TF Indicators I mentioned at the beginning of this thread..I feel they are still all important.

Add in the astrology we all have found to be common factors and I think it's becoming pretty conclusive?

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tgem
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posted March 09, 2014 06:02 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for tgem     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Lavender CrystalSwan:
That's so funny, after coming to know of him I also went through a drastic physical change, within only a matter of a few months.

Its more like I adjusted to his lineage and he adjusted to mine in a way, features wise LOL, up to the point of us not even looking like our own families.

I now have people asking me if I am of HIS heritage even.
Its especially noticeable when I dye my hair blonde, it looks almost too natural.


This is soooo interesting!!! So I wonder if it's true that once you come together with your TF that you actually start to "morph" to look similar to each other...kind of like having the parallel lives thing?

I have a picture of me and Cusp together about 6 months after we met...you can just see the physical similarities between us. Wish I could post it but due to privacy laws...oh well.

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tgem
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posted March 09, 2014 06:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for tgem     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
"I LOVE that Valentine-Alma DW"

Thank you...I'm pretty proud of that LOL 😊

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IndigoDirae
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posted March 09, 2014 06:15 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for IndigoDirae     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by tgem:
"'You both need to be together. There is no specific mission or purpose for this, the togetherness is to be seen as a trait.'"

I thought all TF's are supposed to come together for some kind of spiritual purpose? Isn't that the point?


Exactly. Hence, my confusion. Granted, there's no way we wouldn't be creating together. LACHESIS is, after all, essentially mainstreaming the concept for the masses to more easily digest. Without sacrificing integrity.

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IndigoDirae
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posted March 09, 2014 06:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for IndigoDirae     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Ceridwen:
I mean how can a look make you feel like you are completely naked?

Wow. That reminds me of part of my healing process, which oddly involved writing a few songs. One of them was called 'Naked With You', from which the imagery was inspired by that vivid 24/12/12 dream I'd had in which I'd been in some other earthlike, extradimensional world, (having travelled there through some portal in my old house) and then proceeded to shed clothing until I was near-nude, and shouting to the heavens, (somehow KNOWING he'd hear me, heh) that I loved him, (using his full name) and that I would always love him.

Not even 2 weeks later he destroyed me. Heh.

'Naked With You' became a kind of strange power anthem, an alt-rock, Alanis / Kate Bush sort of fusion. Heh. I was lost, broken, and confused, but I had the insight as to why I was avoiding him - yet hating to avoid him, because he means SO much to me, but I couldn't deal with it, and the cycle began.

It was because mere interaction with him made me feel stripped. I couldn't hide anything anymore. He knew me to my core, and I felt vulnerable and raw and terrified. I couldn't DEAL with him. At all. Not in THAT state.

And I was wondering if,
You would ever change your mind, and ...
I was wondering when,
You were gonna leave me -
Always being left behind.

Now what am I supposed to do?

'Cause everything you did to me,
Was everything I couldn't see.
And now I know I'll always be,
Naked with you.

The ending line was particularly rough, even if the song was very clear about what was going on. Lot of fears and insecurity.

And I was wondering when,
You would finally go away.

I can't remember who I pulled that structure from. Clarkson? Meredith Brooks? Maybe it was Alanis. Seems like it could've been Norah Jones, too, honestly. Who knows.

It was true, though. It's a terrible forlorn feeling of everything being doomed from the start. 'And I was wondering when you would finally go away.' Like a negativity-filled self-fulfilling prophecy. Heh.

That part came to me when I thought he'd finally stopped calling me. It's nothing but woe-is-me pitiful moping.

The rest of it didn't change, though. I'll always feel like I did in that dream. Naked, vulnerable, and weak. Just putting on a strong face and keeping a stiff upper lip.

Sigh.

You're not gonna see me cry! No!

Is that 'the stare'? For me it's more like x-ray vision. ;p

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