posted October 25, 2014 01:51 PM            

Hunt (23041)
or
Huntress (7225)?

posted October 25, 2014 02:37 PM            

On the one hand, CHIRON-PREY seems like a double-shot. Unless you take CHIRON's story to be The Wounded Healer. It's without question that my own abuse, experiences, and traumas led me to profiling and therapy. I was always bouncing back and forth between stopping the b*astards and picking up the pieces of the damage they'd done.

But, for a bit there, I investigated the potential of reforming and healing them. Unlike my partner, I wanted to study them -- rather than simply stamp them evil and deem them deserving of destruction. (TISIPHONE-HADES for the win, folks.)

In the context of BDSM, this becomes even more applicable. How many times have we sought to cure the ills of our past through kinky play? To take turns playing the victim and perpetrator? To understand each side intimately?

CHIRON is definitely our greatest vulnerability. It cannot be healed, but we CAN use it to heal others, thereby, healing a part of ourselves.

In my experience his TISIPHONE, the unrepentant 'kill them all' attitude definitely struck a nerve. Was it because of the similarity in something of which, I soon learnt, my character ran afoul? The unremitting, unyielding, nonnegotiable 'if X, then Y' formula which led to the greatest tragedy?

Probably.

In his own story, his 'stand-in' character 'mercy-killed' the character he had (unconsciously?) based upon me. Do to tragic circumstances, his character had deemed it the only thing to do.

Needless to say, I was rather floored by that scene. I remember being immediately stricken by it. Stunned. Angry. Very emotional. 'How could she do that?' (The character is biologically female but male-oriented; gender-queer.) And he was so flippant about it. 'I know. It's terrible, isn't it?' Clacked his tongue. 'Had to be done. A shame.'

Had to be done? A shame?

Yeah, I really took him to task. 'Where is this coming from?' he finally asked me. Then, before I could really respond, he said, 'oh! You're feeling it's synonymous to Penderan. No. No, no. He wouldn't do that. We already know that, don't we? I DO see the similarities, yes, now that you point them out, but it isn't the same.'

To which I said, 'he just couldn't do it? But she could?'

He said, 'it HAD to be done. It was merciful. She was merely a means for her to have a certain scar, that's all.'

'Oh? How do you think SHE felt about that?' He realised he didn't know. I continued; 'she loved her, didn't she?'

'Oh, I wouldn't say THAT. But perhaps something near to it. Perhaps. I suppose as close to it as she's gotten. In that respect.' And then he felt the need to clarify, 'it isn't like them. It's very different.'

I said, 'I'm not that sure now. He's a man of principle. Period. In his case, murder is murder. The circumstances don't matter -- if he's following it to the letter of the law; his law, but still.'

'That I do agree with, yes. A man without principle is a monster, after all.'

You'll notice that particular line; it's such a crucial facet -- and I didn't even write it. Not independently. But, such is the world of a writer.

I think these things, when they matter, do linger in the background. They lurk in our subconscious.

So how does your VENUS potentially surface wounds and help him heal? How can he turn his wounds into a greater strength and help your VENUS heal?

posted October 25, 2014 02:46 PM            

That's opposite his MADHATTER, exactly (19º Gemini).

It's conjunct someone else's LOCKWOOD/MADHATTER Midpoint, however, at 19º SAG '30.

... I stopped breathing when I saw that. At first, I thought I was going to cry, but then I stopped breathing.

My iTunes thought this was the apt time to begin playing a cover of 'Mad World' by The Red Paintings, too.

I don't think that helped.

posted October 25, 2014 03:00 PM            

My drHUNTRESS conjunct drLOCKWOOD (2º)

And there it is.

And ... 'the other's' HUNTRESS conjunct my partner's drALICE (0º).

So, my drLOCKWOOD is conjunct my nNESSUS and his nDEJANIRA, (2º).

posted October 25, 2014 03:38 PM            

It's complicated, how she behaves, synastrically. Hell, even natally. There's a need to cast a wide net, I feel. In the case of families, she's crimes against kin -- whether inside or outside of the actual family ties.

But what even constitutes a family? Is it biological? Or, say, in the case of organisations (like the mafia) is it a very different kind of 'blood ties' ?

He stated recently that Tisiphone was the 'deity of the hour', and presided over the Naughts in many ways. We were waking up to primal instincts, and preparing for intrapersonal war if need be. Hardly surprising that transgressive fiction started to really get its day in the sun -- though it wouldn't make it to TV for another several years. (TV is actually the last medium to catch on to trends. The Big Five refuse to take a chance on anything that isn't tried-and-true mainstream. Breaking Bad would have NEVER made it on network; even AMC passed on its initial shopping. I'm stunned that Hannibal has lasted this long, but a lot of people in Hollyweird owe favours to Fuller. It'll be interesting to see how things go when those 'debts are paid'. My friend, 'the Lost writer', loves it for its bold, gritty, yet beautiful cinematography, but feels that it's pushing too many boundaries, and something's gotta give. I'm inclined to agree. And I HOPE I haven't missed my window and the transgressive trend is dying out.)

And like that, I switched into shoppe talk. SORRY!

I hadn't seen it, because it was 2001 in which I started my project, and nothing was even remotely like it. (Thankfully, nothing still is; not at its heart.) But much creative work has, in some fashion, 'paid homage' to the Fury -- I agree. Vigilante justice, I'd said, but he corrected me: rough justice.

By definition, Tisiphone is not casting opinion. She's merely the agent of a greater cosmic operation; the one to torment the murderer, or one who has 'sinned against kin'. She's out to see that justice is served, at any cost; to ensure that those who have committed the acts within her purview are duly punished -- often by, as Lee pointed out, lex talionis.

Where I think my story really delves is in the determination; the decision. Are we not playing God, in some fashion? Penderan's 'Atroposian Agreement' is little more than his objectively weighing whether or not someone deserves to live or die.

It becomes a rather crucial conversation, as you'd imagine; when she spits at him, who made him judge, jury, and executioner? But that's, of course, 'a longer conversation'.

But is it?

He's slowly become of the opinion that no human being should have THAT kind of power -- or ever be burdened with it.

I have to agree.

posted October 25, 2014 03:56 PM            

Liberating and transformative..

posted October 25, 2014 06:39 PM            

Did they get you trade your heroes for ghosts? ... And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?

Yeah. The fifth book is rough. Extremely hard choices, (which is fitting, being mid-series) with the main cast being pushed to the brink. I ended up making a few tweaks and introducing a lot of those concepts in the pilot. I'm glad for that choice -- however bold. There's nothing simple or easy about this story; might as well open with a bang.

And now 'Hey You' ? Wow. That's kind of uncanny. I have a music collection in the thousands. Huh.

Hey you, don't help them to bury the light. Don't give in without a fight. Together we stand, divided ... we fall.

Perhaps what gets me most is ... the realisation that he might have killed her. That he'd adhered so completely to his principles, to their mutual detriment. In which case, he did NOT want to. That's obvious from his (albeit dramatic, but, hey, that's Penderan) 'I am murdered,' upon discovery of what's happened, and his understanding of what he must do because of it.

Rather, it was almost endearing -- almost a kind of emergent gag. Always some excuse in play. 'It's not yet time,' was the best one. Eventually, it got to the point we just all assumed The Final Showdown would always entail the same thing: an excuse would result in both somehow fleeing to fight another day. Somehow.

Frankly, they'd take turns, playing the excuse-giver; she, for not apprehending him, he, for always having an excuse not to kill her -- typically vague, about which he's both passionate and firm. Hence why the 'it isn't yet time' was used ad nauseam.

Like Riley, I suppose, I just ... assumed. Took it for granted. Got complacent. People would ask me how it actually ended -- the entire series. I'd written many endings for the several novels, but ending the SERIES. That's a bit different.

Radiohead's 'Climbing Up The Walls' ? Wow. Not OK Computer. More like WTF, computer? (Sorry. THAT song has incredible significance. It's almost as if my iTunes is accidentally building my inspired playlist. How very, very strange.)

And either way you turn, I'll be there. Open up your skull. I'll be there. Climbing up the walls ...

Theme of Book #4, incidentally. Yeah.

So, anyway.

Not until I saw the 8H/SATURN synastry and began investigating it, did it even OCCUR to me that he MIGHT have done it.

And why not? Because -- naively, I suppose? -- I felt, ultimately, love conquers all. Right? Love is stronger than principles, and any system of values, no matter how draconian.

SOMEONE LIKE YOU FROM JEKYLL AND HYDE?

STOP IT, ITUNES.

You are my witness! This is INSANE.

There's a running 'Jekyll and Hyde' theme, specifically in Phantomwise, the second book. This is ... insane.

'Nearly Lost You' by Screaming Trees. Okay.

Did you hear the distant lie, calling me back to my sin?
Like the one you knew before; calling me back once again?

Nevermind. My iTunes is possessed today. Whatever.

Oh, good. Wicked Game. THAT's what I need.

I'm ignoring it. I'm just ... I'm ignoring it now.

Well, for a good six months, I ended up accepting that might have been the real ending -- which I just didn't want to face. Hell, NOBODY did. That's just ... depressing. It's tragic.

Further, it's the essence of tragedy, as defined by my partner. Good versus Good. The best of intentions. Well-meant. And yet, unavoidable conflict with fatal consequences.

Can he be blamed for the unwavering principles; his draconian value system? Can she for being so enraged that she exacted his very brand of 'rough justice' ?

It's the hypocrisy that floors me; and yet, the only FEELING to come from it, from those awful times I've actually written the scene -- a few times -- is overwhelming betrayal and sadness. I can feel how much she truly loved him, but never was able to know it or feel it. How it seemed the only way in which they'd ever been together was -- literally -- in their dreams. And that now, at the moment of truth, this horrific sense of mutual betrayal -- and I don't know who feels it's worse.

You ask her, she thought she did right by him; she followed her instinct. She had the courage to stop a threat. She did what HE would do, and yet, THAT's breaking some kind of unspoken rule. Like it was in the fine print nobody had bothered to make sure she read. HE could do that; SHE could not. As such, he adhered to an excessively stringent code -- very black and white -- zero grey area.

And she'd broken it.

And, still, I thought -- for FIFTEEN YEARS -- that, no. NO way. Even HE's got to have SOME flexibility.

posted October 29, 2014 08:14 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Dancing Maenad:
I
OK, I know some of these orbs are wide-ish, and I hope Ceri's voice of wisdom will come to drag me of my ears out of this madness. Because.. this can't possibly BE! Right?! Someone, please tell me this means nothing, PLEASE! lol

---

Nope. Not this time. Sorry.

maybe it can`t be, but it is.

posted October 29, 2014 08:30 AM            

and even though we do not have Eros-Psyche, it sort of did not feel so coincidentally that when we met.

his pPsyche 6°50 Pisces
his nEros 8°20 Pisces
his nCeri 9°09 Pisces
his nMr Sag 10°26 Virgo

my pPsyche 7°49 Pisces

Tr Ceri 7°54 Pisces
Tr MrSag 8°13 Gemini

As for the other asteroid aspects I was utterly underwhelmed, especially by these here:

his ISIS quinkunx my OSIRIS 1°38
his SIVA quinkunx my PARVATI 0°44

(his OSIRIS square my ISIS 3°00)

What with these stupid quinkunxes I was thinking?

Well turns out the quinkunx is his nodal phase, as his NN is on 151°, thus in the Draco these quinkunxes result in

his Dr ISIS conjunct my tropical OSIRIS 0°15
his Dr SIVA conjunct my tropical PARVATI 2°07

posted October 29, 2014 08:42 AM            

my internal reaction when I first layed eyes on Mr Sag was hectically thinking: "No, no, no, NO! not him, not now, not here, not yet."
It was a little dramatic I suppose.

I just saw him from a distance, but even then it seemed like there was some sort of pull going on, cause the next thing I recall, after that mental cascade of refusal, was him racing up the stairs, while singing ("Feel" by Robbie Williams btw, I never forget how sympolic that felt. lol) and threatening to hold a microphone into my face, if it weren´t for me stepping back and literally hiding, HIDING, behind the backs of my friends.

posted October 29, 2014 08:50 AM            

Of course everything can just be my paranoia and hallucinations, and I was quite set on believing that I was just being dramatic, if not for that half whispered sentence, loud enough for me to hear though.