posted October 29, 2014 09:50 AM            

EDIT: You are not responsible for how other people feel, or act. Okay? Whatever he feels, or she does, it is not on you. Don't take it on yourself and don't blame yourself for it. It is not your fault.
I'm putting this here because it seems like you need to hear it.

posted October 29, 2014 10:37 AM            

I know it is not my fault. Well, I had been talking about that to a friend a few days ago, because I kinda felt bad for her in some weird way.
Well I guess I am over it.

Neither of us DID anything, except for looking I suppose.
Maybe she simply thought that after having been separated for a week, and him just returning home for the concert, he would have been looking at her more (she also was sitting first row), instead of being looking into that one spot in the audience maybe a little too often.
Even though this is exaggerated, it felt like we had been looking at each other for 3 hours nonstop.
I AM exaggerating of course, and he probably could only see my outline anyway. he seems to like my outline though. And I am not as ignorant about myself as I used to be. lol

Well, she seems to have had abad day. I just noticed that after the break, when she came back to her seat (she must have been backstage), she seemed a little distressed. Well, she looked exactly the way I look when I can barely hold it together, and her father who was with her was talking to her and rubbing her shoulders constantly as if to comfort her.
I decided to look away then though, cause I felt I was possibly intruding (though they did not know I saw it) into something personal.
No clue what it was.

WEll, I actually had to leave early, before the concert really ended, because I had preorderd a cab. Anyway outside I noticed that apparently the cabdriver had forgotten about me, and was trying to order another cab. But turned out the number from the internet was the wrong one.
Since I had no clue what else to do I went back to the theatre hoping to maybe find someone of the staff I could ask about the right number to call.

Anyway when I came back there there were still quite a lot people, visitors mostly, so I went in to find someone to ask.
And a bit aside from the other visitors there she was sitting on a couch with her son and a woman (possibly her mother), and they were obviously talking. Well I did not really pay attention to them, but when I passed them by I could clearly hear her say to her mom: "What does SHE want here?" using a slightly derogative form of the personal pronoun.
Well, there was noone else coming in, so it was very clear that SHE was me, and it just surprised me, and it felt like I was meant to hear it.

Of course I did not react to it but hurried on to the other visitors asking about the number, got it and left to call a cab and wait outside the theatre.

Somehow I got the feeling that it might get difficult to talk to him as a normal visitor/ fan, when she is around. Something makes me think that things have gotten that far, unintentionally, that a normal nonchalant connection seems very unlikely.
Damn it. That is not how I planned this!

Well, and Mr Sag himself, needs to take a break, seriously. I always thought his schedule is insane, and I read (from another visitor) that he apparently was having a dizzy spell on stage on monday.
I have been plagued by those dizzy spells myself for a few weeks; of course I do not know what the reason was for his, I think his schedule.
For m,e it was a mix of work-overload, work-tension, emotional tension, much much much emotional overload, and basically a sign Ihad gotten out of balance.

He needs a break, that seems quite sure.

Oh man, how can something feels so intense and nothing even really HAPPENED?
Well, except for the staring contest.
And him changing this songline for me. It felt like it, he was singing a song, and then ended with the refrain of a completely different song, while clearly staring at me.
The songline being: "Madness! Why are you sending me into hell?!
Of course it could have been coincidence, maybe it was, but these coincidences are indeed maddening.

Oh and why was that other singer, who was with him on stage and performing a duet with him, but sort of unable to capture his gaze, as he was busy looking elsewhere, anyway so at some point this woman, I have never even seen before,was actually looking at me as well and winking at me?
What was that about?

But I guess it was all just some weird coincidence.

And well yes what DO I want there?
Actually she just voiced the question I have been asking myself for the last years.

But anyway, I am being overly dramatic. Must be the aftermath of the ecclipse, which funnily enough was on the solstice point of my Black Moon Lilith as I just realized (and conjunct my Uranus, Union, hCupido, hProserpina and squaring my Priapus. lol)

posted October 29, 2014 10:51 AM            

Okay, okay, okay, I admit it the conjunction to his hProserpina was even more exact Details!

Tr Sun conj. his hProserpina 0°09
Tr Venus conj. his hPROserpina 0°17
Tr Pallas conj. his hProserpina 0°38

But he was under a few troublesome transits I suppose

Tr Moon-Saturn conjunct n Uranus (1/ 0)
Tr Sun-Venus opp. n Vesta exact
Tr Mars-Karma conj. nSun (2)
Tr Mars-Karma conj. nMoon-MC exact
Tr Mars square n Vertex-Aphrodite exact
Tr Pluto trine n Mars exact
Tr NN conj. nPluto (2)
Tr Lilith square n Uranus exact
Tr Sappho conj. n Sappho exact
Tr Kaali opp. Mars-Jupiter-Amor
Tr Kaali conj. Eros-Ceri. lol
Tr Valentine conj. NN exact
Tr Valentine opp. Priapus exact
Tr Valentine conj. LIlith (3)

I suppose it was a little much

I always like to make a composite of the natal and the event chart/ transit chart.

For him that night this event-composite had a close Sun-Pluto-conjunction with Sun on the last degree of Scorpio

posted October 29, 2014 11:37 AM            

I wouldn't feel bad about what they said. You bought a ticked, you had a right to be there. End of discussion. If you happen to mirror the cracks in their relationship.. well, yeah, it's uncomfortable - but it's still THEIR cracks.

What are you looking for? Who knows.. maybe not even you, yet. But you will. Maybe we're all looking for something.. deep. The eclipse WAS in Scorpio.

posted October 29, 2014 05:01 PM            

It doesn't necessarily mean he's the one, but it looks pretty powerful.

posted October 29, 2014 05:11 PM            

sorry, and I thought I found it among Auby's charts

posted October 29, 2014 06:18 PM            

I don't think he'd deny it. I don't think he could. But that's a HARD thing to accept.

posted October 30, 2014 12:32 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LeeLoo2014:

sorry, and I thought I found it among Auby's charts

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posted October 30, 2014 06:19 AM            

See you in 3 weeks or so!